Welcome to 570 Bars.com

Within these pages you will find the chronicles of two average guys who live in Seattle and plan to drink in every Spirits Serving Establishment within the city. This website is filled with the stories of each of those nights, reviews of the bars, comments from other people like you and finally anything else that think you might enjoy.

The Idea: To drink in every bar in Seattle.

The article that sparked the Idea: Read the 6th paragraph specifically.

The Reason: For the past several months I have been feeling very dissatisfied with my social situation. We used to have a huge social circle made up of interesting and diverse people who each had friends that I did not know. Now that circle has shrunk considerably. We used to throw parties, but now we go out to the same six places. In these past years many of my friends are, well, growing up. Growing up and getting on with your life is all well and good if you have someone to do it with. Since I don't have anyone like that, I guess I might as well create a bizarre artificial goal to give me purpose and to get me out of the house and meeting new and interesting people.

A Response To Concerns

When we announced this quest, Jason and I received several responses, both encouraging and concerned. Several of our friends expressed concerns that we were becoming (?) drunks and perhaps should go to AA.

In response to these concerns, I want to first say, "Thank you for caring enough about me to voice your concerns, but they are unfounded." The reason for this is simple enough. We will be having a single drink in each establishment. This is enough time to get a feel for the place, to enjoy a tasty beverage, and to chat with the clientele or bartender that happens to standing nearest to us. The drinks themselves are secondary to the exploration of the Seattle bars. Yes there will be nights when we hit 7 bars and are nicely buzzed by the end, but this will be the exception, not the rule.

-w00t

The Rules

1) Only Spirits Serving Establishments must be visited
2) If the establishment is only a restaurant, it may be skipped
3) At least one of us (Jason or I) must drink spirits in a place, but the other is free to drink beer or wine if they choose
4) If a restaurant’s bar has its own name (like the Mandarin Room) then it must be visited
5) Only one drink must be consumed by each person for the place to be considered “done.”

It all started in the Mandarin Room, which is the bar inside of the Moon Palace. Its only notable feature is that you can get strong drinks and a full Chinese food menu. There was also a cute waitress, but really, that’s not remarkable at all. We were talking about an article in the Stranger that said there were 570 establishments that serve spirits (booze to you and me.) Now, before I go any further I should mention that we were sober. Dead Sober. One drink does not crazy ideas make. I should also give a little background in so far as to say, that Jason and I have been without purpose and direction for the last month or so. We have been unhappy with our social situation, and have felt that our friends have, for the most part, become unfun. Sure there is the occasional party, or spontaneous gathering, but it is usually one of us who is responsible for making it happen. Jesse throws the occasional LAN party, but that just does not cut it, especially for Jason who doesn’t play FPSs (First person Shooters).

With all of this in mind, Jason and I (and Sean who was along for the ride and agreed it was a good idea) decided that we had to visit every one of those 570 “bars” in Seattle. It may take us the next year or two, but we will accomplish this goal. We had already planned on hitting three bars that night, just because we had never been to any of them. And so, our idea was born. From there, the brainstorming began. We knew about the Star Wars guys who are now “world” famous for sitting outside the Cinerama for 6 months for Star Wars tickets. If they could become minor celebrities, why couldn’t we? As the night progressed, the ideas started to unfold. Sean would build us a website to track our trek. I would call the State Liquor board to get a complete list of places to go. Jason would get us Sponsors. After about the 5th bar we began to realize that it was going to get expensive (somewhere in the neighborhood of 5K) and that we would need people to sponsor us (or should I say, buy us booze.) They would get all of the credit, none of the blame and (thanks to Gwen) maybe provide bail money should it become necessary.

On night one, we started at the Moon Palace for a way too strong Screwdriver, at the Jitterbug I had a Sidecar (very tasty), at Murphy’s I had the most crap ass G&T ever (in a really small glass to boot.) At Goldie's we played darts (I won 2 out of 3 – “Brandon. You throw like a Jew. But I guess that’s a good thing.”) At Changes they had on the Golden Girls but we were able to get $1.50 Harp and Vodka Cran (Finlandia) for $3.50. Then we were going to go home, but it was only 11:30 so why not hit two more. Then it was on to the Tin Hat on 65th, where we told our first outsider about our plan (Hey Mia – you will get a pin or something.) We played Yatzee, and all three of us got a Yatzee. I got 2, thus securing a victory in, literally, the last moments of the game. Finally we went to Molly McQuires for a quick G&T and some not terrible karaoke. Finally I dropped off the motley crew and went home.

It was not until that night, trying to sleep, the darkness closing in on me, that the enormity of the task that lay ahead of us finally began to settle on me. At this same time, Jason, tried to sleep in his own place, but found that the spinning walls would not let him sleep. It was from this, and from the fact that we simply cannot consume that much liquid, that our Spirits Rule was developed. I must admit that the enormity of the task still weighs on me, but I am starting to get into the rhythm and I hope to become something of a local celebrity over it. Maybe we can get an interview on the Daily Show. That would be awesome.

-w00t

We are going to see Allen’s (co-worker of Jason) band play tonight at Rain Dancer on the Ave. Having just done 7 bars the night before, I am still up for a bunch more, but Jason can't take another full tour. Instead we just hit the All-American (with $3 Long Islands, two cute bartenders and Jason’s friend Dan who we are going to try to get to design business cards for us.) We were going to hit the Big Time Brewery, but when we discovered all they had was wine and beer, we ditched cause it didn’t count. We also hit Flowers for a G&T. Jason had been there many times before, but I had never actually had a drink there, so we hit it quick and then moved on.

Rain Dancer was nice, but the $5 cover for the bands was annoying. Good drinks, but the cash only bar made it really difficult as we were running low. We met up with Allen and other bookstore people. We also met two girls, Janet and Jessica. Jessica forgot her ID, so I offered to drive them home, so they wouldn’t miss the show. Hey anything to break the ice with two early twenties hotties. Jessica is too tall, (tall girls don’t date me), but Janet is very cute. It was just a quick jaunt back and I heard their stories. Interesting, but I won’t get into them here. Jessica it turns out is from Milwaukee and we bonded over the Safe House. I even broke the rules and told her the password. I hope that they don’t revoke my V.I.O (Very Important Operative) license from me. Allen’s band was good, but it had no vocals so it was a little odd. Oh, a final note. Janet accidentally smoked my lucky (smokers know what I am talking about.) I hope it turns out to be good for her, but you should never smoke another person’s lucky (get your minds out of the gutter.)

-w00t

Night three of quest continues. Tonight Jason has a friend (a couple actually) who used to work at the bookstore and now his band is playing at the Sit and Spin. Now the Sit and Spin is one part bar, one part “restaurant” and one part Laundromat. They also have a performance space in the back. We decide to go and see a band there and knock off bar #11. The Sit and Spin is cool. I almost wish I needed to leave my house to do laundry. They have old video games (Galaga and Centipede) and a good atmosphere. We get there a little too early, but since Wolf drove, that is ok. Jason and I buy drinks while Wolf is parking. When they open up the backspace we head and grab some chairs. I meet a death merchant who gives me coupons for 3 free packs of camels. I don’t usually smoke them, but they’re free so, what the heck. I meet a friend of Jason’s and make some really terrible small talk. I’ve got to fix that. There really is nothing worse than small talk. I mean really, small talk is bad enough. The first band is pretty good, but the Timpani is really loud and makes me wince whenever they hit it. After they are done, we realize that we know nothing about band 2 and decide we need to hit other bars while we are down here.

The next place we hit is easily the nicest place we have been. The Brasserie Margaux in the Warwick hotel was very nice. The drinks were excellent if pricey. I deviated from my stand G&T and had a Cremecicle Martini. It was excellent. I couldn’t even taste the Galliano (yuck!), at least not until Jason pointed it out. It was here that we picked up our first official sponsor. Thank you Wolf (yes, his real name.) Despite having given up booze for lent (what is up with that), he decided to do it anyhow. This place has the added bonus of being across from the Cinerama, so booze and movies.

After wandering down past a closed restaurant and a hotel with no bar, we ended up at the Dahlia Lounge. Now those were some pricey drinks. The place was nice, and I suspect the food is excellent but dang. At least the glasses that they gave us were big. I’m kind of glad that Wolf drove. Its nice having a built in Designated Driver. Oh, I should mention, that it occurred to me, that the Dahlia Lounge would bar #13 and that we might not want to end it there. I was informed drunks are usually superstitious. Well, since I’m not a drunk, I decided that I was being silly and stopped being superstitious. I hope (on both accounts.)

We went back to the S&S, saw the last band and then headed home. I have to say that every band needs a stand up base.

-w00t

It is time for food. It is time to go to the Rickshaw, up on Greenwood. They breakfast, Chinese food, and drinks. The drink is strong, and cheap. The food is pretty good too. The waitress informed us that they normally have happy hour from 7AM to 4PM. Now that’s a happy hour. We even sat in the Rickshaw for almost an hour before I looked to the left and saw the full bar. I guess Jason had seen it ages before and had been just waiting for me to realize it and for me to say something. Once I noticed it had to be done. We discovered a bizarre thing here. Jason’s screwdriver was $3. My G&T was $3.25. They had charged me .25 for tonic. Why? Isn’t OJ more costly than tonic?

I would later learn from a friend of mine who delivers mixers for a living that Tonic is actually one of the most expensive mixers they have (short of Red Bull.) Of course, it is still the difference of pennies on the dollar, but it is about 1/3rd more expensive than the average mixer.

-w00t

After picking up Jason from work, he mentioned that we could get in a quick bar before our game tonight. Deciding he was right, we stopped in at the Canterbury Ale and Eats at the North end of 15th in Cap Hill right down from my house. It is was seedy, smoky, and had a chair that just wanted to drift me towards the game machine it was sitting in front of. Not a bad place but not terribly memorable, except for the suit of armor and the fact that we got $3 doubles.

After our game, the Society for the Prevention of the Needless Slaughter of Naugas sponsored us at two more places: The Satellite Lounge and the Elysium Brewery. I have been told that the Elysium beer will make you ill, so avoid it all costs. Their booze is good, and their food is ok as long as you like their kind of Cap Hill Eclectic menu. I have nothing bad to say about the Satellite Lounge though as the food is good, the waitresses and bartenders are all hotties (even if one of them had to be pointed out the Rum.) They occasionally have live music and the place has a good atmosphere.

We did look at the Wild Rose, but decided that now was the wrong time to try to hit it.

-w00t

It is Thursday evening at about 5:00 and I need to leave work early so that I can get home and cook a brisket for Passover. You see, I am Jewish, but only culturally. I do however like to throw a mini-seder for my non-Jewish friends who are interested in learning what it is all about. That and Jews know how to throw a ceremony. You see, I have cut down the ceremony to its most important parts (the plagues, the four questions, the telling of the story) but I have left in the meal and the four glasses of wine. Needless to say that it is a great meal and has as part of it an interesting history lesson. I will say though, listening to five people who don't know how to pronounce Hebrew (and me only barely) is not most pleasing sound to the ear.

The highlights of the meal are always the Brisket and the Matzo Ball soup. I have included my mom's Brisket recipe down below.

As part of the meal (both before and during) I probably drank about 6 or 7 glasses of wine. Now this is over about 3 to 4 hour period, but it still went to my head. Then after all that, Jason and I decided that we should try to go the 1200 Wine Bar again.

Needless to say, they were closed AGAIN!!! We had tried to go after Satellite on Tuesday but they had already called last call then. So instead we went to Wild Rose. We figured it was a Thursday so we should be ok. Plus if things seemed to be problematic, we could always have one quick drink and then bolt.

As it turned out, I really like the Wild Rose, despite the fact that I had apprehensions about it being Seattle's premier (only?) lesbian bar. I didn't really think that I was going have any trouble, but you always build these things up in your mind.

We had a really good time there. Mind you all we did was sit at the bar and chat with Florence our bartender, but she was really cool. The decor was nice, they were playing hair bands on the jukebox (which seemed strangely disturbing) and the drinks were good. Florence was even good enough to slip us some swag since we had a lot of drinking to do, and it would be a while before we came back. The strangest thing that happened though is that these two guys came in and tried to sell bizarre items (coin counter, Dani doll, etc...) to the bartenders with no such luck.

It is amazing the things you see on Capitol Hill.

Oh I will say, that in response my comment, "I was a little apprehensive about coming in here." Florence simply said, "Yeah, many people are. But we are very friendly." And yes they are.

-w00t

Brandon's Mom's Brisket Recipe

Enjoy.

The main purpose of our Friday night excursion was to see The Fellowship of the Ring again, and specifically to see the new Two Towers trailer that was just released on today. I called a bunch of friends but none of them were interested in meeting us. Jason talked to his co-workers, and a bunch of them were interested, but all had reasons as to why they would probably not be able to make it. Thus it ended up being just Jason and me and a host of downtown bars that we needed to hit.

I was dressed kind of shoddily, but Jason simply said, that this was Seattle and no one was going to notice. I will say in his defense that he was entirely correct. Even in this really nice place, no one seemed to bat an eye at my attire. Of course I didn't really take off my leather jacket in a couple of them, but that hardly matters.

We started off with Dragonfish Asian Cafe, in the Paramount Hotel. I really liked the feel of this place, but I just wish that it wasn't packed to the gills at dinnertime on a Friday night. We were allowed to stand in the bar and have a drink, but eventually a waitress shooed us away as we were standing in front of her waitress station.

From there we went to an old favorite, The Cloud Room in the Camlin Hotel. The Cloud Room is great, but I have never seen it so crowded. We tried to find a seat and simply couldn't. We were going to sit and have dinner there, but seeing as how the menu is mostly $20 entrees, we decided against it. Instead we stood out on the balcony and discussed how the quest was going. One of the interesting things we talked about was how this quest had totally changed our perspective on bars and going out. It was now like work, and while we enjoyed it, the drinks themselves didn't really provide us with the same level of enjoyment as they once did. Now it was more the experience of trying out a new place rather than simply the drinks. I do hope that we are able to get more people to go out with us, cause they will slow us down (as you will see by tonight we are pretty quick when we are determined.)

After the Cloud Room, we went to 727 in the Elliot Grand Hyatt. Now this is a nice place and I took a certain sort of satisfaction sitting in the bar wearing my Milwaukee County Jail shirt (long story.) Anyhow, I simply have to that this bar is everything that I would want in a place if I had more money than I knew what to do with. Jason and I ordered well drinks and I handed the bartender a $20. I will say I was a little distraught when he handed me back $7.50. Blinking briefly I took the money, left a tip, and took the drinks over. I explained the price and Jason looked equally concerned. We then sipped our drinks. I can unequivocally say that this was the best G&T I have ever had. Not only was it mixed perfectly, but I suspect that they well booze, is much stuff than what I ask for Gin by name (Tanqueray.) Jason's Screwdriver was obviously made with fresh squeezed orange juice and was equally good.

From there we went to Desert Fire for dinner. There is not much to say about Desert Fire except that the drinks are average and food is good. I like the atmosphere and breadsticks are excellent. I of course, left my doggie bad on the table. I hate that.

We still had about 15 minutes before the movie so we headed downstairs for a quick drink at Vons. Let me just say that if you liked my review of Murphy's, then you will love this one. I do not, and let me stress this again, DO NOT, recommend you go to Von's for a drink. A friend of mine (who happens to be a health inspector) recommends that you don't eat there either. It’s not a cleanliness thing, but rather they use the cheapest alcohol known to man and then charge you top shelf prices. Screw dat. Their only saving grace was that they had square glasses. I really like those for some reason.

Then we went to the movie. This 3 hours of no drinking imposed on us was probably a very good thing. I do feel kind of sorry for the two couples sitting between the aisle and us. We each only got up once, but we tried to sit somewhere where there wouldn't be people between the aisle and us.

While the movie was a bit slow the 3rd time, the action sequences were still very good. Galadriel's monologue did not get any better the 3rd time around though and I still very unhappy with it, but I suppose when I get to remake Lord of the Rings with Cate Blanchett I will do it my way. Until then, I will have to deal.

But the real reason for the viewing was the Two Trailers Preview at the end. It was 3 and half minutes of pure joy. I now remember what it felt like seeing the Fellowship trailers for the first time, and it was good. We get to see many awesome things, but the two best are: An Ent's eye, and Gandalf looking like Saruman (you can finally understand how they can be confused.)

After that we went to the Old Pequliar for a quick drink. It was there that we decided that weekends really were the wrong time to get a good feel for a place. It is too crowded and the bartenders are in fill em and spill em mode. They don't want to chat, they only want to get you your drink and send you on your way. Our waitress was nice and sassy and I liked that. She made a comment about how my shirt was going to get me beaten up. At first I thought it was because it was a "jail shirt" and it would make me seem like a tough guy. It is only now, as I am thinking about it, that I realize that it is because it is bright orange and I was in an Irish Bar (doh!). Well, live and learn.

Then I dropped Jason off and went home. All in all, an excellent night. We saw a great preview, hit six bars, and had some truly awesome (and one truly terrible) drinks.

-w00t

It is the morning after we went to the Norwescon parties. While we were in the same hotel as Norwescon, we did not attend the con. There really is no point to it. Plus, at the heinous cost, it was not worth it to attend it properly. Instead we crashed the parties, drank in the bar, and hung out with people we know, people we haven't seen in ages and people we might like to get to know better. Plus there were attractive women in PVC, which always makes things better.

Now unfortunately, Norwescon is held in Seatac, which is not Seattle, so all of our drinking was wasted (except for having a good time, I suppose.) We drove up via 99 but there just are not any bars on 99 between downtown and Seatac.

The next day, Jason, Sean, Shanda, Red and I went to the Ballard Denny's for brunch. Now I have to say that the Ballard Denny's is on our list. They have a separate bar area and serve drinks to the main seating establishment. As such we were able to get food and knock more place off of our list. The meal was typical, and our waiter was nice, if a bit high strung and over worked.

Oh, and big ups to Wolf for completing his 40 days of non-drinking Lent successfully and then refusing a free drink because it was 2 in the afternoon. I guess we all have to have our limits.

I will say that when I dropping Jason off at home later that night, we did consider hitting one more Ballard bar, but decided against it. Are we growing soft after less than a week? God I hope not :)

-w00t

Tonight I had my first photography class for my Special Topics: Paris at the Photographic Center Northwest. Now the best part of this class is that there is a two week "field trip" to Paris. There I will have no responsibilities other than to walk around the city and take pictures. That is the absolute best, I have to tell you. I love photography and I plan to turn it into a profession at some point, but until then, I will continue on with my crappy, low performance, high potential job.

The point of this, is that after my class, Jason was, in theory, going out for coffee with a friend of ours, but she never called. Instead, our friend Bridgette was having a birthday party downtown at Fado. It started at 9:00 (when my class got out) so we figured we would go down to it. We knew some of the people here, but after finishing our one drink, we decided to wander around the area and put a couple more under our belts. We had checked our list and new what was around.

Down the block was Contour. This is an upscale techno bar, with a bunch of pizzazz, a small dance floor, and a big Pacific Islander bouncer. He even snagged Jason's Leatherman before letting him in. The bartender was nice, but his commentary on "DJ who the fuck cares" was pretty funny. I guess they have a bunch of mid card DJs come through here and obviously the bartender could care less. Fortunately there was not a real DJ that night so we did not have to worry about the cover.

After that, we went to a restaurant that was already closed and did not appear to have a bar, proper. Thus we crossed it off our list and went down to the Owl and Thistle. Here was had decent drinks and Jason and I both got ogle some cuties. For me, the top-heavy waitress, for him the guy playing pool. It is a nice place, but its main drawback is that it is down town and it gets VERY crowded on weekends.

From there back to Fado to say some hi's and goodbyes. We talked with Danielle for a little while and she was very psyched about the whole idea. I guess she had reviewed almost all of the clubs in Seattle, for a side project of her own. But I guess that idea is mostly dead now.

We decided to hit one more on the way back, and figured it should be the I-Spy since we were first. Now if you know where the I-spy actually is, then you know that it isn’t on first. I got it mixed up with the Cyclops. After we got close, we parked but we noticed we were in front of different bar, and really it doesn't matter which bar we go to at this point. The Flying Fish is a nice place, plus its bar is open till 2 and their menu, while pricey, looked excellent.

The bartender thought our idea was cool and even suggested a bunch of places in West Seattle for us. The funny part was that he suggested the bar where Jason's mom works, first. They bonded immediately. In a side note, I overheard a tidbit of an attractive girl and two guys (I could only see their backs.) But after I caught the phrase, "and you Dave are so nice that you would never do that." (or some other similar clap trap) I knew immediately that she wasn't sleeping with either of them, and never will. By the way ladies, calling me nice is probably the easiest way to piss me off and not speak to you again. Please just refer to me as the eunuch, if you are going to that.

But on a happier note, the place was great and we had a good conversation with the bartender. We stopped at the 24-hour Jack and that was the perfect topper to the evening. It's not good for me, but so be it.

-w00t

It has been a slow night. There was a weekly gathering of friends over at Jason's house and we hung around until about 11:00. This weekly gathering has been becoming less and less fun as time has progressed. I am so incredibly looking forward to when I don't have to see these particular people every week. It is not that they are bad people, in fact, I like each of them individually, but as a group we do not work well together.

As such, when my frustration level had reached the breaking point, I declared that it was time to hit bar number 30. Checking our list, we drove up 15th and went to Goofys. Jason has been there many times with a friend of ours who is a mixer distributor but we figured it was close and easy to hit.

Goofy's was a typical neighborhood bar. It had neighborhood people, was dripping with advertisements, had no real style to speak of, but it was a place to decompress and gripe about other people, a long standing passtime amongst my friends. If we didn't gripe about each other, I don't what we would talk about.

I will say that Goofy's had these really short chairs next to tables that had much higher benches. I am not a tall guy to begin with, but I felt like a little kid sitting in this low chair while Jason towered over me across the table. Sean was also in a stumpy chair but he was slumping so I didn't feel so short. Thanks Sean.

We thought about hitting another place, but I really wanted to get home and go to bed. I went home, but as usual, I didn't go to bed. I just can't seem to go to bed before 2 AM, I don't know why. Anyhow ...

-w00t

It is Thursday night at 11:00 by the time Jason and I make it out the door to head into Fremont. Jason has already called K-dawg, who will be accompanying us on outing tonight. We are going to hit places that near that are near her house as she is walker with no real transportation. We schedule to meet her at the Fremont Dock cause it so close to her house. Now, despite the fact that we called her 20 minutes earlier, we get to the bar and order a drink and still no K-dawg. Calling her again, she didn’t realize what time it was, and by the time she arrives, we have already finished our drinks.

Now one of the main reasons K-dawg was coming out, was so that we could have some pictures of us out. But as seems to be typical of the evening so far, K-dawg forgets the batteries in the charger. Lovely. So we trudge the two and half blocks back to her house (I know, how painful) and grab the batteries. From there we went to a nearby bar that K-dawg has always been “afraid” to go into. Now I have to admit it does not look very savory from the outside, but c’mon how rough can a place be? I am told that I am a naive suburban kid, and I suspect that they are right.

Inside we sat at the bar, listened to punk music, and made conversation. I started talking with a girl name Jennifer. We talked booze, and bartending, and a little about our quest. We chatted with the bartender, and Valerie (the other bartender) described some unusual drinks for us. The guy bartender thought he was being all slick trying to slip another beer to Jennifer without her noticing and he got a cigarette to the arm for his troubles. Jennifer’s friend Rachel was quiet the whole time and just kept to herself.

The best part though was when we started talking about where we going next on our quest. Valerie and K-dawg were debating the merits of the bars around here and I mentioned the Red Door. Valerie then came out with the best line of the night, “The Red Door is like a family style bar. What the fuck is up with that!” Needless to say, she recommended us away from there at night. Instead we decided on the Triangle.

Now the Triangle must get by on its reputation, cause it sure as hell isn’t getting by on its drinks. They had a live DJ and he was pretty good. I liked the atmosphere, and on a weekend the place is hoping, but I really recommend that you stick to the beer. It is less of a rip off, plus you may get to hear an interesting phone conversation in the bathroom.

Then we were off.

-wOOt

Friday night Jason and I were to meet up with Chris and Holly at the Bad Juju Lounge and meet up we did. Unfortunately, Holly forgot her ID at Chris’ house so we had to walk the 8 blocks (ish) back to his house. It was a nice night for it, so I didn’t mind. That and Bad Juju was extremely crowded on a Friday night at 11:00, big surprise.

After collecting Holly’s ID, we headed back to Linda’s, since that is near where Jason and I were parked and Linda’s has a porch, which would allow to take full advantage of the nice night. As we were walking we talked about all sorts of things, most of which aren’t that interesting, but they pass the time. Strangely it was primarily Holly and I, and Jason and Chris, as conversational pairs. I like Chris, but I never really have anything to say to him. He’s not the most talkative guy, unless of course your Jason, and then you two would get along like fiends.

At Linda’s there was some chair swapping so that Holly and I could share an ashtray without getting smoke in their faces. I really should stop smoking again, but I suspect that this quest is the death of that idea. I’m not sure that I have the willpower to stop smoking while I am drinking so often. It just seems like a lost cause as booze has always been the downfall of my smoking cessation. Conversation turned to what Chris is doing now that he is back from Montana and other related topics.

From there we went to Bill’s off Broadway for some garlic cheese bread. We did not realize how late it was though and the kitchen was closed by the time we got there. Last call was then about five minutes later. Strangely this is the first bar that we have closed out since our quest started. This strikes me as a little strange. But so be it.

All in all, there was a lot of good conversation, and it felt like a very adult night out. You know, I’m not sure how I feel about that.

-wOOt

Tonight my Sprockets we dance! Off to Polly Ester’s it is. I have been here a bunch of times before and I almost always enjoy myself. That is if I am able to not dwell on the fact that I lack the courage to flirt with women properly and always end up chickening out in the end. We get there before 9:00 so there is no cover and immediately head upstairs to the bar. Leaning on the rail we look down on the dance floor and there is single Goth styled woman dancing. It is about this time that Wolf joins us. Sean had mentioned that Wolf might be showing up, but I forgot to confirm with him, so this was a pleasant surprise.

Watching a lone woman on the dance floor always feels a bit naughty to me. She was dressed to impress in a black leather bustierre, leather skirt, and large black leather boots. Always a great look. I suspected that she was a refugee from the Mercury, but I hadn’t seen her at the Merc before, so it is hard for me to say. Anyway, she became the designated eye candy for the night. Someone who was out of reach, but nice to look at, that way I don’t have to face any sort of actual rejection.

Now there were a couple interesting things I noticed that night. My first and favorite (cause there were two of them and they did not know each other) were the hot girls who dance slowly no matter what music is playing. My favorite was a Russian looking girl who was dancing for herself in front of the mirror. She had the hip movements that made me want to be a sugar daddy, but it still struck me as funny (but not as funny as that link - trust me). Then there were guys who were dancing alone with a drink. I tried it briefly, but the danger of flinging ice while I flail my arms was just too much. Finally there was the couple with no rhythm and no respect for the others on the dance floor. Now, when I say that they were not small people, I am being generous. But in this case, it was not their weight, which was the problem, but rather it was what made them dangerous. The guy would spin his girl … poorly … and she would proceed to hip check me (six times), smack Jason in face with her elbow, and generally piss off the people around them. So remember kids, if you’re going to dance like idiots on the dance floor, do it with some grace, or don’t surprised when I elbow you in the ribs.

We eventually left the club, after I fully failed to talk to any women, even one who I had the perfect opportunity and utterly blew it. I hate being me sometimes, cause I can talk to any woman who I have no interest or no hope in wooing. But put her in my attainable range and I seize up like an epileptic kid watching Pokemon.

From there it was off to Queen Anne Hill for drinks. Chris and Vince were to meet us up there, but it turns out that they bitched out because of some food related trauma. I’m unclear. We did meet up with Ryan and Dave. I’ve always been wary of Dave, but he was exceptionally well behaved and funny this night.

At Hoyt’s I saw Jennifer again. She seemed friendly, but despite having my card, I haven’t heard anything from her and she seemed all gung ho about going out for drinks with us. *shrugs*

We cruised the other places on our list and had some pleasant conversation, busted on each other mercilessly, and then finally wrapped it up and went home. Knowing that we were losing an hour of sleep, some of the group needed to go home and get some sleep before church. Fortunately, I am a godless prick who cares not for the trappings of those Jesus based religions and could freely sleep in till noon.

-wOOt

Today I was woken up by Jason, who called to remind me that we were having lunch at the Red Door. I remember, but nobody ever seems to believe me. Rolling out of bed, I dress, wet my hair, throw on some clothes and drive over to pick Jason up. Then we swing back around to Fremont for lunch with Wolf and Our Man Jeff. As you will see, Jeff is ‘da man.’

Lunch was nice, except the reaming we took over the price of the drinks. It’s a good thing the food was excellent and well priced cause otherwise I would have really noticed the lingering pain brought on by the $6.50 Mimosa. That is just ridiculous and shows me that I should always just order a well drink.

After Lunch we headed out to do some errands, then to play a quick board game, then to Allen’s barbecue where I met three lovely ladies. I especially liked Mo (a tall cute Co-ed). We bonded over Amelie and disagreed over Requiem for a Dream. I still say that if you want Requiem, that as soon as the word WINTER appears on the screen, that is your cure to turn off the movie and pretend that all live happily ever after. Trust me. Anyhow, Mo claimed that she wants to go out drinking with us, but I gave her my card and I haven’t heard anything yet. So we’ll see if we hear from her or her friends.

After the barbecue we went back to Wolf’s house and played Tigris and Euphrates. That was a hell of a game and I can’t believe that I pulled a victory out of my backside, but I managed it. Phew.

-wOOt

So tonight we are being treated to our first full-blown sponsorship. Jeff is taking us down to Shilshole and we are hitting all the places along the pier: Hiram’s, Ray’s, and Anthony’s. These are all very nice places, so we know that we are in a treat. I happy that they were not as expensive as we had feared, as this makes me feel a bit better about taking advantage of his sponsorship.

It started out as Jason, Chris, Jeff, and myself. We would later be joined by Kristin (sp?) who is Jeff’s Girl Friday. She is absolutely lovely. She is a great person and an excellent compliment to Jeff.

After driving down to Hiram’s we got a table in bar (having been denied the deck as there were only 2 person tables left.) While there Jeff and I ordered some Oyster Shooters, which Jason blanched at the thought of. There was the humorous moment when I said that Jeff should add some Tabasco to my shooter. I then asked, “How is it?” To which Jason replied, “If you have to ask then just give him a drop.” I thought that seemed a little mean, and the Tabasco wasn’t that, but I suppose I could see his point. Better to have too little then to be crying like a little girl.

Jeff also provided me something that I will find very useful in my upcoming articles, and that is the King Country Health Inspection records. They are all online and available for perusal. I have already used them to highlight why you shouldn’t eat at Von’s and will probably use it to illustrate further points like this in the future. But for the moment, I will reserve the wrath of the website for places I truly despise (besides I don’t want to know bad things about places I like. I like my illusions.)

After moving on to Rays there was some confusion over tables and seating. I went to the hostess to get a table, but we didn’t need a waitress as we were just getting drinks. This, in of itself caused some confusion. The rest of the group is huddled by the bar waiting to get their drinks and we can all see a number of open tables out on the deck. The hostess comes back and gives my slip, and says to give it to the bartender and then we can go out on the deck. Unfortunately, she also wrote a probably seating time on the slip, which seemed to indicate that we wouldn’t get a table for at least 45 minutes. Jason and I argued back and forth and finally I just gave up. He can be a bit of bitch when he thinks he is right. Problem is, he is right often enough, that it is a risky proposition to come out on top.

Once we had our drinks, we just made our way out onto the porch and tried to surreptitiously grab a table at the end. One of the waiters’s grabbed us, made sure we didn’t a waitress and then told us to sit where we liked. It is nice being right for a change. The sunset was gorgeous, and the wind was brisk but nice.

We ended our night at Anthony’s eating clams and mussels and watching the Mariner’s game. I don’t remember who we were playing, only that they were wearing red uniforms and looking all smug. I took my cursory look around the place and found a nice quiet corner upstairs in the banquet room to watch the final wisps of the sunset disappear before heading back down to the group. I always love those quiet moments, where there is nothing but me and nature. It is better to be on the beach on a sandy island while watching the sunset, but I suppose you take what you can get.

-wOOt

We took tonight off. It wasn’t that we didn’t have the time to go out. It wasn’t that we didn’t have the money to go out. For me, it was just that I didn’t have the will to go out. We have been moving at such a frantic pace that I just could not bring myself to see if Jason wanted to go out. The funny thing was, I was even at his house and we could have gotten up and gone at any time. I was happy to just sit on the couch and watch a little TV and not think about going out. It was like I had some time off from work.

This quest is very much more my job now, than work ever will be. Work may pay my bills, but this is way more work than my job ever will be. I doubt it will ever pay as well, but we all have to do something to pay our bills.

I understand that Jason has a much different feeling about our ‘Night Off’ but I’ll let him talk about that himself.

When it all comes down to it, I guess, is that while I am enjoying our quest, we turned going out into work. It may be work that we enjoy, but it is still work. I find that thought just a little bit disturbing.

-wOOt

Tonight was once again our weekly gathering of friends over at Jason’s house. It went better this week, but really I am very much looking forward to when we able to put this project to bed. It will make me very happy. Anyhow, Jason, Sean and I went out. We figured it would be a quick night. Hit a couple of places and be done.

We started at Louie’s Cuisine of China. They have great Chinese food there. You can even get real Crab Rangoons. Now real Crab Rangoons are not what you want to eat when you are drunk, as the combination of cream cheese and fresh crab won’t sit well, but for dinner they are excellent. We have seen the Lounge, having walked past it, each time we got food.

Grabbing a booth in the back, we could see the bar and the entire lounge. Now this really wasn’t that exciting as it was mostly empty. Sean did notice though, the Playstation with the 5” screen behind the bar. We wondered if that was for the bartender, or if they allowed patrons to play.

Eventually we struck up a conversation with Frank, the bartender. He said that he had the Playstation here because his kids wouldn’t let him take the PS2 or the Xbox. Apparently, he can play 18 holes of golf in 45 minutes, which is probably about how much down time you get when things are slow. We asked him about how busy it got and he was saying that April is always slow because of tax season, but that the year had been a rough one. He is hoping, that things will pick back up after the 15th. We were happy to hear that the crowd is actually in their 20s once you get into the later evening on the weekends. We may have to come and check it out.

After Louie’s, we went to the LockSpot. Now talk about a place that has Dive written all over it. Imagine our surprise when it turned out to be quite nice and homey and not at all grungy or questionable. Oh, did I mention the sign outside that says, “WOW! Check out our new ATM.” It was a nice ATM. All white and clean. I know that is not much of description, but what the fuck do you expect me to say about an ATM. If I can get money out of it and not contract a skin rash, I consider it worthy of a WOW.

As I was checking out the bar, I walked past a guy sitting at the bar, talking with a woman. He was obviously quite plowed. He says to me, “Hey Softy!” He is obviously talking to me. “Who?” I reply. “Softy!. Aren’t you Softy from KJR?” “Uh, no. But good to meet you, I’m Brandon.” He slurred his name at me briefly. I could tell that this was going nowhere fast and bailed. So much for meeting the locals. Now you tell me, but do I look like this Softy guy?

We sat at one of their two bar tables by a pair of girls who obviously dissatisfied with their current relationships. But when they are drinking, smoking, and bashing on their men, which is not the time to try to make a move. That is, not unless you are looking to get kicked in the nads. Instead Jason and I played classic Pinball. Yeah, classic pinball! Sure they eat your quarters fast, but it is incredibly novel to score 10 points for hitting a bumper. Most pinball games now suffer from serious inflation, and for no good reason. I mean, earning 10,000 points for hitting a bumped. Get real. A return to a realistic scoring system is what we need to set everything right. Don’t you think?

-wOOt

Its Thursday night and our regular plans have been cancelled. I have picked him up from work and we are now trying to decide where to go for the night. We were originally thinking about heading out to West Seattle, since it was still before Sunset and our friend Jim lives out there. Hopefully we would be able to get a hold of Jim and arrange a meeting. This unfortunately did not happen. In fact, Jason and I were utterly unable to get a hold of anyone who might want to go drinking with us. Even Wolf said he was not interested because, “I’m not as young as you two are.” Wolf isn’t more than a year older than Jason and really; I think it was just an excuse (do you think?)

I had printed out a list of happy hour special is Seattle from the various websites that publish these sorts of things. Unfortunately, it is after 6:00 so about 95% of the Seattle Happy Hours are done, even the Rickshaw. There are a couple that end at 7:00, but not many. In flipping through the pages, Jason came across a Happy Hour that went until 9:00PM. “9:00 PM. Well shit, lets hit that and then go out to West Seattle. Maybe Jim will call before we’re done.” As a side not, Jim never called. Oh, there is one other thing I should mention. While we were trying to get a hold of people, I was dancing like a white boy in the car to 95.7 (Old Skool – they’re spelling, not mine). It wasn’t pretty, and I’m not known for my rhythm, but hey it’s my car and I’ll groove like an unrhythmed white boy if I like.

We drove out to First Hill, near the Swedish Medical Center, and found a parking spot not 15 feet from Vito’s (I love the Yellow no park zones.) Walking into Vito’s was quite a nice surprise. When the Happy Hour list mentioned that it had all of these “great specials”, I assumed it must be too good to be true. Turns out that it wasn’t. While there, we had two drinks (quite a departure, I know) but at $2 apiece how could we resist. Well, that, and we had just received our $2 mini pizzas (wOOt!) Now there were a couple of things here that struck me as well … odd, but are not worth mentioning in its review. The first, was that there was weird lady in one corner, who was at least in here 60’s, had a half drunk drink, was smoking heavily, and she was wearing this Blue Captain’s hat. It was quite a weird little site, especially considering that most of the other patrons were all fairly young. The bartender also mentioned (on a separate note) that after the clubs in the area got out, and the hip hop crowd showed up, that he would sell an awful lot of some very expensive liquor. I can’t for the life remember what the shot was, but it was $20 and they only had to sell 5 to break even. Not bad, if you ask me.

After Vito’s we decided that since there were at least 2 other places within a block (literally) that we should just hit them. We tried Jim again, but no luck, so we figured what the heck. Oh, before I continue, I should say that Vito’s is one of those special finds, which is part of the reason Jason and I are doing this little quest. Also, Trudy, from the First Hill Bar and Grill, is the type of bartender we most like to meet (and you’ll soon find out why.)

We walked into the 1st Hill Bar and Grill and were immediately greeted by a sign of white cardboard, and written in black marker was “Cocktails This Way” with a big arrow. Not terribly classy, but no biggie. Now, eventually we met Trudy and Trudy is awesome. She has been in this business for 31 years and you can tell. The information that she gave us will make our ventures to other bar very fortuitous indeed. She was an incredible wealth of information, and a marvelous lady as well. When we announce that we are going to the ID, you should come, cause we have good info for that trip. Jason and I also played Miss Pacman and I rule. Remember, it is all about maximizing your power pills early in the game, and then racking up the Bananas. Oh, I should also mention that the owner had come out and was working the crowd. Seemed like a good guy and was making sure that everyone had what they needed.

After the 1st Hill B&G, we stopped in at Adobo. I have nothing to say about this place, other than to mention that if are thinking about going here, don’t. Go down two doors to either 1stHB&G or Vito’s. You won’t regret it. The only thing of note that happened here was that Jason uttered the following phrase, “Jason is made for bacon and bacon is made for Jason.” I can’t really get into what led up to this statement, other to say that some people think that adding bacon to anything will make it taste better.

From Adobo’s, I was hungry again (the little pizza was good, but not very filling.) So to the high class McDonald’s we went. We were of course rewarded with pain, annoyance, and suffering. God damn I hate not-so-fast food. I realize that it is terrible to have to work fast food and that I should have a little more compassion, but well, tough. Even I have my limits.

From there it was back down to Sorrento’s Hotel and the very lovely Fireside Room. It was so comfy there, but since their bar proper was closed for renovations (I think they were re-finishing the bar), I couldn’t smoke in there. That annoyed me a bit. We did learn that they have Afternoon Tea from 3 to 5. I may have to go back to try it sometime. I just checked out the menu, and while it looks good, it is also $21 a person, so I think it will have to be a special occasion.

Finally we made it all the way down to the Panther Room at the Cyclops. Now we had previously been thwarted from the Cyclops by the Flying Fish. I need to mention that the Cyclops has earned a special place for us. It is bar #50. I, in fact, wondered if the Cyclops was worthy to be #50 before we wandered in there. As usually Jason told me I was being stupid and that it didn’t matter what number any of them were. I tend to disagree with him, as I have found symbology to be fairly important when it comes to “important” matters, but I let the issue pass, as it really was not that important. I am happy to report that the Cyclops was, in fact, worth of number 50 and I attribute this to Jennifer. Our waitress was cute, interesting, and interested. I hope she emails us, but I don’t expect it. It will be quite the day when someone who we have given a card to, actually contacts us. Maybe after we become all famous and shit.

Here is to the day when we become whacktastic local mini-celebrities for no appreciable reason.

-wOOt

The Evening started fairly slow. We had gone over to a beach themed party that a friend of ours was throwing. When we got there at a little past nine it sucked. Strangely his parties always suck early in the evening. They almost always pick up though. Thus we decided to hit a couple of places to kill some time and allow some additional people to arrive. Now I should mention that I had a beer before I left. This is important because I forgot the cardinal room: Liquor before beer – All clear. Beer before Liquor – Never sicker.

The night was pouring out and walking the 2 blocks up the street was miserable. I was already in a questionable mood. I threw an incredibly successful cocktail party the night before (I have to crow a little bit) and this night just was not shaping up to be a success. As we walked towards the Deluxe I noticed that there was now a Mexican Restaurant where Minnie’s used to be. I’m still upset that Minnie’s is gone and this new replacement hasn’t helped.

Walking into Galerias I was impressed with the décor. I was not impressed with the service. There was no one there to greet us and find out what we wanted. Eventually we made our way back to the bar area. We looked at it for a second and decided that it counted, so we sat at the bar and promptly waited for the bartender to “notice” us for almost 3 full minutes. There was no, “Just one minute”, or “I’ll be right with you.” There was none of that. Then we ordered our drinks. We figured it’s a Mexican place, lets order Margaritas. Damn was that a mistake.

After we received our drinks I looked over at Jason and he had this vague scowl on his face. He was totally non-communicative and every time I tried to start a conversation, he just grunted. After about a minute of nursing my drink, I discovered the reason for the look on his face. I had reached great well of suck at the bottom of the glass. I guess the part of the drink I had been tasting was just pure Margarita Mix, but once I hit the Tequila, my face made the same permanent wince that Jason’s did. I almost ordered a different drink just to avoid finishing this one, but I decided to gulp and pray for death instead. We tipped a $1 on $9 worth of drinks and that is only because I decided we shouldn’t be total assholes. Needless to say, I shall never step foot back in that place. Besides the Mexican place across from Broadway Market is excellent and their Strawberry Margaritas are superb.

From here we went three doors up to the Deluxe Bar and Grille. I have always had good luck with this place (except for the pie betrayal. Read the review for more details.) We sidled up to the bar, gave the bartender our card, and ordered some very nice $3 wells. Not much to say here, other than the fact that the bar stools were really uncomfortable. Oh, for some reason I ordered Jason a Screwdriver instead of a Cape Cod. For this I was called a monkey. Ok, so he wanted the cranberry juice to get the horrible flavor out of his mouth, but that is no reason to bust on me. Oh who am I kidding, of course it is.

So Jason and I had our two drinks, but now we had to decide whether to go back to the party. I was feeling ill at this point, partially because I had a beer first, but mostly because of the PURE FOULNESS of that Margarita. We were just going to stay for a couple of minutes and then head out. Two hours later the party has ended and we are being thrown out.

In the course of that time, I totally failed to actually ask for this girls number, despite the fact that Shanda had done all of the scouting work for me (Single, major in school, previous boyfriend). Shanda is going to kick me in the nuts too when she finds out that I wussed. You know, after being in the dating pool for something like 12 years, you would think I would have gotten over these stupid highschool fears and shit. I really need to just suck it up, and risk actual rejection. Of course the problem is that just about every time I have done this in the past, I have received the expected rejection. Maybe I’ll go to a good old fashion Matchmaker who can find me a nice Jewish girl … yada … yada … yada …

Anyhow, I did give her my card, but I don’t expect to hear from her. Why would she even consider dropping me a line. Its not a did anything to indicate I was interested. And you see, that’s where it all falls apart because what happens in my head is not necessarily what happens in real life and I just sometimes can’t see where the disconnect lies.

-wOOt

It is Tuesday and that means photography class until 9:00. Tonight we displayed our work for the class and the teacher so that she could get a feel for what our respective styles are. I mention this for two reasons: 1) It is always great when someone who knows, tells you that you don’t suck. 2) It gets me in the mood to take pictures, even if it is only with a digital.

So I called Wolf and Jesse to see if they were interested in getting their drink on with us tonight. Wolf was up for it, but Jesse said something about laundry and getting his Jedi on. After finalizing with Wolf (who was going to go drink on a weeknight I might add) I heard something in the background about a severed arm flying through the air.

I swung by and picked up Jason and then we picked up Wolf. From there we went into the wilds that is … Lake City. Now this is a perfect example of a place that I would never normally drink if left to my own devices. It is just way to far from downtown to even think about saying, “Hey lets go to … Lake City, to get a drink.” And because of that thinking I would never have normally walked into the Rimrock Steak House.

Now I should be more specific when I say that I would NEVER normally walk into the Rimrock Steak House. It looks like a total dive. It may be a total dive that serves steak, but it is still a total dive. As it turned out, we had a good time while Groovestock “rocked out.” (more on this in the Nightlife section) Plus, we dug the atmosphere. Ok maybe dug is the wrong term, but I definitely felt that if I was going to drink myself into a downward spiral of a stupor, this would be place to do it.

After making our escape from the Rimrock (for which we were heckled) we walk down to a couple of places that weren’t bars at all and were thus hacked mercilessly from our list. Then it was up to Cadillac Jacks. Now when most people think of a Cadillac it is a nice suped up Cadillac that is a pimping ride. This place was the other kind. We just tried to stay quiet and not get ourselves into the trouble while we watched the M’s win by count out. Jason bumped into someone he knew here, but other than the fact that he looked like Colonel Sanders he was fairly unremarkable.

From here it was up to the Lake City Bar and Grille. This seemed to be a nice enough place until we started talking to Nancy.

After we talked to Nancy, I really liked the place. She was incredibly friendly, and even chased after us out of the bar to find out what the card we left on the table meant. The most humorous part of the evening for me though was that when I asked the owner/manager if they had food he says, “Yeah, but only deep fried.” “Great, can I get some chicken strips?” Sigh. “Yup. No problem.” Then he trundled on back into the kitchen to make me my chicken strips. We could tell that he was not thrilled.

I also played with my digital camera a bunch tonight. I really need to get better with damn thing and make sure that the batteries are fresh. All of this shaky cam is fine but it doesn’t really get the job done.

-wOOt

Its Wednesday night and it is time to go out. It is about 11:00 before we head out and we need to pick up K-dawg. Vince is also coming with us and it is first time out with us. Now I wish I could say that he was in for a real treat, but while we are on a quest, we are not really all that wild and crazy. I must admit, I am concerned that we do not seem to have a lot of bizarre stuff happen to us. I think we need to fix that, but I’m not sure.

After we pick-up K-Dawg it is back into Ballard. The night is already kind of late so we decide to stay fairly local. Our first stop is the Ballard Grill and Ale House. While we are here, the bartender sasses Jason and I spot Jennifer from the Pacific Inn. Now, this is officially the 4th time that we have seen Jennifer (but only 3 of those were at bars.) I feel like she is going to thin we are stalking her, but this is not the case. It is totally random I swear. I do get the feeling that these bizarrities are going to happen more and more often as our quest progresses.

From here we walk down to Claudio’s but we miss it by about 5 minutes. It is now Midnight and we can tell that the Lounge has just shut. Making our way back to the car we drive up into Fremont proper and park by the Rocket (this is a landmark, not a name.) Looking past the Triangle we noticed that a bar that used to be there, wasn’t anymore. This is something else that I suspect will happen with more frequency, both the losing and gaining of bars within the city.

Instead we decided to go into the El Camino. This turned out to be a really good decision. The El Camino is a really nice and the staff was incredibly friendly. We met Dana, a waitress (I think) and Cotton, the bartender.
Cotton is a great guy and I have to say that I am terribly upset that he no longer works there. Saturday was his last day. Now I also ended up talking to Dana for about 15 minutes. This is kind of rare for me as I am not really comfortable with attractive women that I don’t know. But after our talk, we did get comped our first drinks. This was very exciting. They brought over a shot of Camino juice to each of the four us and I have to say it was excellent. It was a strange concoction of Jager, Malibu, and fruit juices, but despite my hesitation it was amazing. After that we left and I had not even really considered asking for her phone number.

From there we went over to the Dubliner, which was utterly unremarkable, except for the conversation we had there. My friends said, “No dude, she was totally in to you.” I of course doubt this statement, but who am I to say. I have no concept of these things, as I am often oblivious. Now Vincent is a good friend. He threatened: “I will punch you in your eye, if you don’t go back and ask for her phone number.” Now how can I get out of that? Vincent is a big guy and while I don’t think he would actually do it, it gave me the impetus to do what I wanted to do already.

Now I won’t get into the details too much, other than to say two things: 1) Cotton is the man. 2) I got her phone number with (relative) ease. Now I don’t know if it will do me any good, but success is success and not getting punched in the eye is a good thing. So I will call her on Friday (going 2 days instead of the industry standard of 3) and see how things go. My hopes are high, but they usually are.

From there I took everyone home and made way to bed, happy in the knowledge that I got digits.

-wOOt

After my weekly gathering of friends, Jason and I went out to meet up with my friend from college, Brad and his new girlfriend Maria. I met Maria briefly at the party I threw the week before and she seems nice, but we will find out. We decided to head down to the Liquid Lounge for number 60.

60 seems like such a big number, but I get the feeling that as we get higher and higher the important numbers will be much farther apart. 75 will probably be the next big number, then 100, then 150, and so on. I am already starting to feel the weight of this quest. Hopefully it won’t weigh me down.

The Liquid Lounge is a nice place with lots of free music. Unfortunately tonight, the free music was loud and crappy. Jason and I could not even hold a conversation between the two of us while they were playing. In addition the members of the band were not even remotely attractive so it just compounded the pain. Brad and Maria showed up about 10 minutes after we got there and we sat around the table having a drink in conversational silence. Between songs we would get maybe four lines out before the wailing began. To top it off, I don’t know what kind of drink Maria got but it was foul. Brad, like a dutiful boyfriend, returned it and got her a Lemon Drop instead. Now that is a tasty beverage.

From the Liquid Lounge we got outside and were pleased to be able to hear ourselves think again. Hopping into Brads sweet ride we went over to Tini Bigs Lounge, a Martini place. This place was much more our style. It was quiet, laid back, and had good, if not expensive drinks. We talked about any number of bizarre things, including the Mormon Church. Jason has a friend who is a Mormon Elder and Jason told us about all of the wacky things the Mormon Church does. Things like baptizing dead people, the 3 levels of heaven, and the quest. Maria brought up their special underwear, which I guess is underwear with bible passages written on it. It is supposed to help protect that sinful region from engaging in sin. Well I know if I say a girl wearing underwear with bible passages embroidered on it, I would think twice about making with the love (did he just say “making with the love?”)

Finally we went our separate ways. I really like Maria. She can keep up with Brad, and even entertained me. Plus she seemed to have a much higher moral fiber than Brad’s last real girlfriend (god I hope Becca doesn’t read this.) Oh well, truth is truth. Its not like I am ever going to see her again.

And so another evening passes with me not getting enough sleep and Jason and I putting another 2 bars behind us.

-wOOt

The night started with my calling Dana. I got her answering machine (but the phone number was real and that is a good sign.) From there we went to a friend’s birthday party. We played some Asshole and I have to say, that if we didn’t already have ticket to see Money and Run, we probably would have stayed. Strangely, I have never actually played Asshole (maybe once, but it sucked) and it turned out to be a lot of fun.

So at about 9:45 we rolled out of there and went to the Cha Cha Lounge. Jason and I hadn’t thought that we were going to have time to go before the show so I called Vincent to tell him not to meet us at Cha Cha Lounge. As it turned out we did have time and now I feel bad. On a Friday night, the Cha Cha Lounge, like just about ever bar on Capitol Hill was packed. While I really like this place, there is never anywhere to sit and the crowds don’t mingle well. Thus we sat, had our drink, and then left quickly.

Walking up the block to Theater Schmeater we passed a women who I recognized as an original cast member. She is the dance coordinator (I believe) and she was looking very fine. Dressed in a long black coat that fluttered and tight fitting clothing, she made me want to learn to dance. I can dance now, but only the white guy overbite dances, and bastardized pseudo-Goth hand motioning dances. I like dancing, but I’m not terribly good at it. When we got into the lobby I ran into Tony, his wife Farida, Pam and Tony, and Phil. They had seen my announcement and decided to meet up with us. It was so nice.

We got ourselves a drink and then went in to enjoy the show. Now I can’t stress this enough, but Jason and I absolutely love Money and Run. Its one of the funniest and most inventive shows I have ever seen. It has a Dukes of Hazard kind of theme, mixed in with some Bonnie and Clyde, with a shovel of the bizarre. You don’t know character acting until you see Big Momma Bob (and her Liquor and Wine Emporium) and Dr Asswagon (“It’s Asweagan, you know that.”) Big ups to my man Brandon, and of course Wayne (the writer/director.)

Right now we are seeing an alternate cast. This cast is a test to see if the writing holds up under a different director/cast interpretation. I am happy to say that it does, especially since the cast isn’t nearly as good as the original, but the show was still damn funny.

When the show got out at 12:30 I was kind of tired, so I bagged the night and took Jason home (who had to work early in the AM.)

-wOOt

There is not a lot to be said about today. I rolled over to Jason’s house at about 1:00. We watched Gone in 60 Seconds and tried to collect people to do something today. We failed. So instead we went out to Interbay (between Ballard and Downtown) and had some Chinese food at Chen’s Village. The food was decent, the company was good, and the place was deserted.

The lounge was cute, but I don’t see them getting a lot of business out here in Interbay except maybe for a lunch crowd.

Like I said, not a terribly exciting outing.

-wOOt

After my photography class tonight I decided to drop Dana a follow-up call. I hadn’t heard from her, so this way she would know that I was interested without being pushy. I called Jason to make sure we were still on for tonight and then went and picked him up.

We decided to try to all of the Magnolia bars and close out that portion of the city. There were only five or six of them and a couple of those were probably restaurants, so it was doable. Our first stop was the Sound Track. This small place is right off of Market as you enter Magnolia. It has a small gravel parking lot and I could immediately tell by the vehicles in the parking lot that this was a working class bar. Needless to say, I was not disappointed.

After we ordered our drinks, we decided to chat with the bartender. She was the only female in the entire place as I recall. Holly was exceedingly nice and thought that our quest was kind of amusing. She told us about how she had once walked into the women’s bathroom with a guy’s wallet once because the light was bad in the bar. I guess he freaked out (no surprise there.) She advised us against doing this, but I don’t think there was any fear of that. There was one little scene that happened as we were preparing to leave that amused me. A guy came up to the bar that looked like a younger/better looking Diamond Dallas Page. Holly got this subtle look like a schoolgirl. I don’t know if there is history there or interest, but it was cute none-the less.

After the Sound Track we went up to Mulleady’s. This is an Irish Pub up the street, before you cross over the hill into Magnolia Proper. Even from the outside it had a very friendly front. Walking in, we sat at the end of the bar and waited for our bartender to appear. Finally Darcy showed and we ordered drinks. Let me just say that Darcy is fine looking woman. She is extremely fit, has a cool blonde streak in her hair and is friendly and funny to boot. Darcy has worked at Mulleady’s for the entire 14 months that it has been open. As I was just peaking around she came over and gave me a tour of the place. She pointed out the Snug Room (a comfy sitting area) and the back porch. She told me about the live music and their Saturday Barbecue.

When I was in the bathroom, I saw the largest 1 person urinal I have ever seen. After I had come back and Jason had come back from the bathroom he commented on it. Darcy mentioned that she thought it was 2nd largest urinal in all of Seattle. She gave the impression that they just assume there must be one larger, but it was ultimately unclear. After I took a picture of Darcy, I tried to get a picture of the urinal but my batteries had died. Running over to the 7-11 I got more batteries and finished my photographs. Once again I want to stress just how cool Darcy was. She is easily someone who I would love to go out with, but I would never have the nerve to ask. Maybe if I lost 40 pounds and gained some muscle.

From Mulleady’s we drove into Magnolia and promptly got lost. We were trying to find the Village Pub and managed to take every wrong turn imaginable. At one point we drove up to a gas station to buy a map of Seattle. The service area was empty and the door was locked. I knocked on the door and then knocked on the garage door. There was no answer. I can only assume the guy was asleep in the back (I know I would be.) When we drove past the same gas station about 5 or 10 minutes later, the service area was still empty so he probably wasn’t using the restroom.

After much foolery, we found the Magnolia “downtown.” It had an Albertson’s, a generic work out place and a bunch of small shops and banks. Finally we found the Village Pub. It was well lit from the outside but we couldn’t tell if they were open as all of the patrons were bunched up in the back. Walking in, we made our way to the bar and sat at the very end (where there were 2 open chairs.) The first words out of my mouth were “Are you still serving food.” Now I should preface this by saying that I have been hungry since before we started. I wasn’t going to order food at the Sound Track and I couldn’t bring myself to trouble Darcy with a food order. Now, asking for food first was the wrong thing to do as bartender replied, “Why is it that the first words some people say when they come up to my bar is, ‘Are you still serving food.’ “ Jason quickly moved in for the save and ordered his standard Vodka Cranberry. I followed up and was then able to get a food menu.

We chatted amiably with Tracy for a while and also met her friend Nina. I liked Tracy. She was a bit mean, pretty funny, and could definitely dish it out. She was also an auburn haired cutie. I can’t comment on whether it was bottle or not. Nina however is a light skinned honey. She was very witty and had quite a sharp tongue, but in a good way. I could tell that I very much wanted to be her friend, and I definitely did not want to be her enemy. She was wealth of information but she also wasn’t telling us all that she knew. Tracy and I talked about photography a little and she mentioned that was going to an area outside of Las Vegas to take some pictures. I am very jealous as desert pictures can be some of the starkest and most beautiful, if done right.

We talked about our quest and they asked if we were going ‘Upstairs’ to the Gin Wah. We said yes. Nina mentioned that we should ‘watch our ass’ as it could be a little rough. I think that is because the Gin Wah gets an older more local crowd. When we went up there, we didn’t have any trouble, but I can see how you might look at the place a little askew. The Gin Wah was an ok little place for a neighborhood bar, but there wasn’t much to it. I wonder if the Chinese food is any good.

After the Gin Wah it was time for a quick stop at Jack in the Box and then home. All in All it was an absolutely great night. Jason and I have finally started to get our patter down when it comes to approaching and talking to bartenders. I am also very glad that we don’t have to go back into Magnolia again. Phew.

-wOOt

Tonight is the night for bar 69. We have decided to go to the Bad JuJu Lounge as it has just enough of bad boy feel to warrant such an illustrious number. Oh I should mention that I am still very excited today. Dana called me the day before and left a message on my machine. The fact that I missed her call still annoys me as I was home at the time and then I didn’t notice the message light until it was too late. She said she that she was working that night and would probably call back the next day. I debated on whether she was just mentioning this, or whether she was hinting that I should stop by since she was working. I decided not stop by since I hadn’t shaved that day and more importantly I didn’t want to seem too pushy. I hate not being able to read women.

So it is 11:00 and we are off to the Bad JuJu Lounge. After I park we start walking over to the club and I realize that I forgot my wallet and they always card up here on Cap Hill. Angry, I walk back to the car and get ready to drive home. Just then I remember that I think I have a copy of my license in the glove box for just such an occasion. Ransacking the box doesn’t turn it up, but then I check it again. With a sigh of relief I find it lodged between something and pull it forth victorious. It was better than finding a $20 bill in the pocket of a shirt you just washed.

The Bad JuJu was fun. We had a large table and a large group. We also bumped into 3 ladies that we know and hot women make everything better. Tony and Farida showed to have a quick drink. Unfortunately they were bar flies so I had to make my way to them rather than having them come sit at table. There were some damn strange conversations at that table, most likely owing to Danielle’s presence. There was some talk of howdahs (you know, those giant things that go on an elephant’s back.) It was later determined that Danielle (or maybe it was Bridgette, hmm, I’m not sure anymore) didn’t actually want a howdah, but really wanted a litter. That way tall strapping men could carry her around and wait on her hand and foot. We also talked about how the Abercrombie and Fitch catalog was nothing more than softcore gay porn, and how Forensic Entymology would be an interesting career to lie about having. Maxim actually has this great feature. I’m not sure if they still do it, but there are at least 20 + of them kicking around. I should also mention that Wolf bought drinks for everyone. He is a damn generous fellow.

When we left the Bad JuJu, a guy selling Daffodils came up to us. I don’t like being accosted on the street and gave him the brush off. Danielle, however decided that she had to have some daffodils and bought some. There was some haggling over the $2.50 a bunch, selling price but eventually she just paid it. Now I didn’t have the heart to tell her, but despite what he said about growing them personally, they looked an awful lot like the ones they are selling at Safeway Supermarket right now. They were even in the same number per bunch. I wonder if they fell off a truck somewhere or if they guy was on the level.

From the Bad JuJu we stopped into the Vogue for a quick drink. Fortunately for us, Ogre was working the door and we convinced him to let us pop in for a quick drink. Jason gave him a card and explained our quest. We were very excited when he mentioned that he had heard about it already and that it wouldn’t be a problem. We slid into the place and were greeted by some damn crappy music. It was kind of painful to listen to. Luckily we were there for one drink and then out-tro.

After the Vogue it was a quick pop into Barça. Now the Barça is what I would call an upscale yuppie bar. While I admit that I will never pick up any women in a place like Barça, I do like to window shop. As Jason and I walk in, I catch site of Jesse on the staircase who waving us down. They already have a table and have our drinks waiting. Now that is service. I wish I could I say what we talked about while we were here, but I sure it was interesting. After being a couple of drinks in, it usually starts to get a little fuzzy. I do remember a girl behind us had the same flowers as Danielle bought. That guy gets around.

Our final stop of the evening was our first re-drink at the Wild Rose. It was a Thursday so Florence should be working. We stopped in to say hi and see how much of an impression we made. As it turned out, we made quite an impression and she remembered us once we called her buy name. We talked for probably about 45 minutes or so, and she even bought us drinks. She bought us high-end stuff. Florence was and now is firmly in my top 3 bartenders in the city. Now I want to clarify that, that does not mean she is number 3, it just means that I have 3 favorite bartenders and she is one of them, cleanly and solidly.

There was much talk here and while I would like to repeat much of it, Jason has told me that he will make bleed if I do. Plus I promised Florence I wouldn’t and I am much more concerned about what she would do to me. Actually I am more concerned that she wouldn’t like me anymore, and I don’t know if I could stand it if Florence didn’t like me anymore. :-(

We did try to stop into the Tin Hat to give Maia our card as she was the first person we told about our little quest, but she had gone home already (it being past 1:00 AM) Then I dropped Jason off and went home.

-wOOt

The night began by going to our friend’s art opening. It was a nice little affair but much of the art was pretty crappy. I liked some of it, especially this amazing oil city scene. There were also a number of abstract pieces that were good and some bronzework that was nice, but overall, it was very questionable. I know from experience that Art Students are mixed bag to say the least.

Since we were near the ID and it was a Friday we decided to take Trudy’s advice and go visit JoJo at the Bush Garden. Now if you go to the Bush Garden (and I highly recommend that you do) mention that you know the 570 bars guys so that they know we drummed up some business for them. Now I will admit my impression of the Bush Garden was a little questionable. It was ok but the lounge seemed a little lackluster. Here is the thing, JoJo is a great lady. We met the owner’s wife (who I will neglect to mention by name on purpose) and they treated us amazingly. JoJo showed me that Tatami Rooms that they have (Japanese mats with cushions and low tables) and the sushi bar. JoJo talked about her daughter and we compared notes about different parts of the country. We also learned that she is a 19-year veteran of the bartending game. These are the bartenders that you can learn a lot from if you give them a chance. She had some really funny stories also.

I must admit that while I skeptical at first, I really came to like the Bush Garden. Oh, and if you have this bent, they have Karokee every night at 9:30. I guess they have had some really good people get their start here. I did not recognize any of the names, but that is not really that surprising. It is our plan to come back here for their sushi happy hour special (half price sushi) and sit in the Tatami rooms. That will be a lot of fun.

Since it was before 10 on a Friday, we decided to head up to West Seattle to hit a few bars. So far, the ID has been the farthest south we have ventured so our to West Seattle it is. We call our friend Jim but he is not there. Strangely we have not heard from him in weeks. I assume he is all right since Jason sees him every Monday, but otherwise I have heard no word. We drive into West Seattle, and since I am out of smokes and kind of hungry I stop at a Texaco along the way. Now this is the weirdest thing because I don’t see any cigarettes in the little mini mart area. As I buy my soda and crackers I ask about cigs. The older woman behind the counter gets this look of scorn on her face and says, “We don’t sell cigarettes.” Her voice was very clipped and it made me very annoyed. Yes I know this is a bad habit but I don’t need strangers judging me like I’m the worst person in the world because I’m killing myself softly. The funny part to this, is that as we pull out of the gas station we look at the gas station across the street and from the looks of it, they only sell cigarettes and gas.

Since we are in the Admiral District we just find ourselves a nice parking spot and head to the nearest place we see. In this case, it is Pagoda Room inside the Yen Wor Village. This place is a true dive. The people pretty much keep to themselves, the décor is relatively non-existent, but at least they have Chinese food in the Admiral District. On the TV is the Carol Burnette 25 year special (or somesuch) and all of a sudden I have flashbacks to our first night when we sat in Changes and watched the Golden Girls. We finish our drinks quickly and I decided against getting food here.

From here we went over to the Admiral Pub which is a very nice sports bar with a young, working class crowd. There were a lot of attractive women here but they were all definitely sports pub women. Lots of tight jeans (good thing) and too much bleach (bad thing.) We chatted with Josh and Randy here and they seemed very interested in our quest. Josh was kind enough to rattle off a list (and then write it down) of all of the bars in the area with liquor. It was actually quite a list. I did not have the heart to tell him that we have a master list of all the bars in Seattle. Josh also mentioned that this crowd was thin for a Friday. Oh, he also directed us to the Benbow. He kept talking about how lounge in the back had some sort of ship theme going on. I kind of looked at him crossways but he directed us out the back through the fire door. He promised it would not go off. Jason and I were both concerned of a potential prank, but he, I’m sorry I doubted them.

When we got to the Benbow, it actually took us about 5 minutes to find our way in. Jason tried the back door and said it was locked. We walk up front but we could not find another entrance that was not dark and locked. There was the pub next door, but we didn’t want them. Finally we went back to the door and I tried it this time. Opened no problem. I don’t know what his problem was.

Words almost escape me when it comes to describing the Admiral Benbow. Josh was not kidding when he said that lounge had a ship theme. It did in fact look like you were in the captain’s galley on a ship and I instantly fell in love with the place. Jason and I talked a lot about the quest and about our future writing ideas. Jason told me about a story that he had and I have to say, it sounds very interesting. Once again, on the TV, Carol Burnette had followed us. As this was an older crowd, like in the Pagoda Room, it did not surprise me too much. Off to one side there was a younger couple that I am guessing was on third date. He was trying to impress her with some sort of card trick or something. She seemed to be enjoying it, but it was kind of sad if you ask me.

So after the Benbow, Jason and I needed food before driving home. It is now Friday Night at like 11:30 and we have just walked into Safeway in West Seattle. Here we proceed to walk around like idiots for probably a half an hour. Jason insists on finding some Fabreeze cause he is tired of smelling like smoke in morning. Me, I don’t notice it, but then again, I wear a leather jacket. I ended up buying a gigantic orange (shown here next to the Honeydew to indicate size.) I also had a sandwich and a package of Suzy-Qs which are the best Hostess product that you can buy in the NW. I know I will get sorts of disputes on this, but you are WRONG!!!! There was also an incident with a pickle jar, which I know Jason has already commented on. I will simply say, that next time, I am going to take a picture of a re-enactment of the incident, even if I miss it. Oh, we also played with a blood pressure machine that they had up by the front. I have very good blood pressure, but Jason was right, alcohol does increase your blood pressure. In fact Jason’s dropped by like 10 points in the 10 minutes we were sitting there eating.

Then we drove back, heard on the radio that there was an accident on the route we were going to take and then got lost trying to take alternate route. Bah, I hate that.

-wOOt

Tonight we are going to a Kegger with Kiddies. The last KwK we hit was actually pretty fun. I hope that this one lives up to the last one. While it is the basic people who we know, I don’t really expect to know most people there.

Before the party we decide to hit a couple of places. The first is the University Hotel’s Excalibur Room. This place is spacious, has a decent view, and throne like chairs. It is also completely deserted except for a girl who obviously knows the bartender. We proceed to eat the really good bar mix like there is no tomorrow and talk about where we are going next and who I will know at this party. Everyone at Jason’s work has a name based on where they work. These are people like Coffee Cart Jenny, Husky Store Emily, and Security Steve. I like all three of them so it is all good. It is in fact supposed to be Jenny’s 21st b-day party as I understand it.

So after the Excalibur Room we figure out that the next two places we were going to go are not actually on a list and so we have to find some other place to go. Jason mentions Dante’s and since I don’t know it from Descartes’, I figure, what the hell.

Dante’s is a sports bar and while it was not super crowded on a Saturday night, it was busy enough that I didn’t get to talk to the bartender any. We eventually got her name (Rhiannon) and she seemed to like our quest but it was just busy enough that she couldn’t stop and chat. I explored the bar and liked everything but the drinks. You know, I think I would prefer it if the bartenders would just take my four dollars and slap me in the face rather than making me drink a G&T with not enough Gin. Tonic just tastes nasty and without the Gin to cut it, it is foul. I think that is what I have learned about G&Ts. You don’t use the Tonic to cut the Gin. You use the Gin to cut the Tonic. In fact it makes sense since the sailors wanted to get drunk and didn’t want to get Malaria.

After Dante’s (strangely appropriately named), it was off to wander around looking for the College Inn Pub. We found a parking place with ease, but then proceeded to walk around the supposed building like idiots looking for a way in. Turns out that it is in the basement. We get a booth in the back and sit down with our, once again weak drinks. I notice that they have a good looking plate of nachos and then goad Jason into carving our name into the table. It took a little doing but since there was already so much graffiti on it, I figure we might actually get some “business” from it. Hey You!!!! If you saw our mark and came to the site because of it, let me know. There might even be something in for you, if you can tell me which booth the mark was in.

After the College Inn it was off to the Kegger’s with Kiddies. Now really our official part of the night is over and now we are on to the extracurricular portion of our evening. I don’t want to be mean, but this KwK wasn't nearly as good as the other one. As a friend of mine once put it, “It was a total sausage fest, dude.” There had to be at least 4 times as many guys as chicks, not enough beer (although it was a microbrew), and the one girl who I talked for a while who seemed vaguely interesting was from Oly and I don’t need another 70 mile relationship. I did meet Tess however for about 2.5 minutes. She is in a band with a guy Jason knows and seemed nice. You could tell she didn’t want to be there. She was outside with her feet up pulled against her chest and a notepad in her lap. Strangely once the ice broke, she was the nicest, more sincere person at the party. You could tell she didn’t like the party bullshit either. Now I know what I didn’t go to Keggers while I was in college.

The last entertaining thing that happened was on our way back to the car. We walked past a guy who taking a photo of some semi-dead/dormant trees. He was using a nice medium format Leica on a tripod and Jason walked over and stood behind him to see what he was taking a picture of. The guy made a line of small talk, took his picture and then beat feet down the street to get away from the “crazy drunk guys.” With a camera that nice, I don’t blame him.

Oh, on a side note, I don’t know why people walk up behind a photographer to look at what he is taking a picture of. There really is no point. The lens and eye simply do not see the same way (unless, as the photographer, you make it so.) The naked eye will often miss the true beauty or image that is standing right before them as they can not tune out the extraneous details, the way a camera can. So basically what I am saying is this: “Don’t stand behind me when I am taking a picture and say ‘nice shot’ or some other inane comment. You don’t see what I see. Wait for me to develop my photo.

-wOOt

Today is an all sponsors day. Our first scheduled stop was to have brunch with Jeff. I am sorry to say that Jeff had something come up and could come out with us. This makes me sad as I really like hanging out with him. Oh I should say, I saw a side of Jeff at a friend of ours birthday party that I had never seen. I understand that it used to be the norm before he got married. We were all playing asshole and I have to say, the boy can dish it as well as give it. There is he, sitting down with a cigar in his mouth, a drink in one hand, and his cards in the other. That is man who knows how to enjoy life.

Anyhow, I digress. Our first stop is to meet up with Sandy at the Scarlet Tree in Roosevelt. This is a nice little neighborhood but nothing really goes on up here. We met up with Sandy who is currently carrying an alien baby and wears a Marvin the Martian watch. Now I will admit that upside down it does kind of appear to be abstract art, but it didn’t dawn on me that it wasn’t Marvin until she acted surprised that I knew what it was upside down.

I’m not saying much about the Scarlet Tree and with good reason. Let’s just move on. It wasn’t interesting, trust me. So anyhow, we went over the Presidio. Sandy said that she wasn’t even sure if they would be open since they keep such weird hours. We didn’t realize just how right she was. We walk over and we see people playing pool in the back. The place doesn’t look open, but I open the door, since it was unlocked and walk in. They guys in the back ask if we can come back in 15 minutes. Uh, sure. I guess we’re here, we can wait another 15 minutes. We go over to Videophile, which has scarily complete DVD section for sale. They have a 10 pack of horror movies for $20, and then numerous 4 packs of things like crappy kung-fu, low budget horror, Nurse uniform busting car wash movies, and Little Shop of Horrors. They have an incredible Anime section but at list price of $30, I don’t think so. I can get it all way cheaper on line.

After browsing we walked back to the Presidio. I think they hoped that we would not come back and that they wouldn’t open and I admit that we considered it. When we appeared at the front, I saw the guy wave me in and walked in. Sandy and Jason just stood outside looking like idiots. Finally a guy came from the back and turned on the lights and asked us what we wanted. Now the Presidio kind of felt like a jail converted into a bar, but strangely, it wasn’t a bad thing. It gave the place some character. We introduced ourselves to Jay the bartender and he immediately noticed that I had a pad and pen. He actually asked me if we were reviewing the place. It was thus that we explained the whole sorted story to him. Jay is a good guy and we could tell that he was not the regular bartender. Man did he pour some stiff assed drinks. Another one or two of those and I would be walking funny. It was a nice change from the Scarlet Tree though.

After about 5 or 10 minutes, a girl came in, cute, and it turns out that she is the actual bartender. Emy is a nice and interesting and was interested in our little quest as Jay was. We chatter for a while and they put our card up on the wall in back. I wonder if it is still there. They are still a new place so they can use all the business we can shovel them. Props to Sandy who picked up a second sponsorship here. Sandy just lived down the block and it was a good thing too. She was walking a little loop by the time we were done. Her tall Rum and Coke had kicked in something fierce.

From there it was off the Galway Arms at 4:00 to meet up with Bridgit and Alan. The Galway Arms is in all ways a typical Irish Pub. Jason’s friend Damon says that they have the best fish and chips around. I wouldn’t go that far, but they were damn tasty. Now, here is my problem with hanging out with Jason and his book store crew. They all talk about weird shit that I don’t understand and reference people who I only barely know. They talk about a girl I kind of know who will walk in front of a car just to make it stop. Now I must admit, I used to do this too, so I can understand where she is coming from, but I suppose the story is interesting in an abstract kind of way. But then again, Jason has put up with me going with Brad so tit for tat I suppose.

Oh, there was also this bizarre conversation about people who have no asses and other people who have weirdly shaped asses. I guess I know people who have asses shaped like they had been hit with a snow shovel, but I must admit that I don’t really understand the reference. It was explained to me, but I have little concept to visualize it.

After the Galway Arms, which Alan sponsored (thanks Alan), it was over to the Irish Immigrant for Bridgit’s Sponsorship. The Irish Immigrant has a little panache than the Galway Arms, but it is like picking up two oranges and comparing their size and color. When it comes down to it, they are really just different variants on the same orange. And yes I know, what a poor analogy it is to use Oranges when talking about Irish Pubs. It just kind of turned out that way. If it offends you some much, replace all of the above references to Orange with the word Cucumber. Now I will admit that Cucumber is a funnier word than cucumber.

From there it was a mad dash down to the bookstore to pick up LeeAnne after work. I drop Jason out front, he grabs LeeAnne and then I meet them around back. LeeAnne is all excited to learn that she will get to sit in the front since as the Sponsor she is getting the “royal” treatment. OK, it’s not much, but at least it is something. Then it was mad dash into Ballard to go to the Water Wheel. Wow this place is a dive. Strangely a very nice and friendly dive, but a dive nonetheless. The bartender Terry, treated us well and I had a bizarre conversation with Pat. Pat was just a guy sitting alone on the other side of the bar having a drink. He is originally from Oklahoma (wonder why he left) but has lived in Seattle 30 years. We talked about the Great Alaska Highway and how it was built in order to repel the Japanese during WWII from a number of the Aleutian Islands (I think) that had been invaded. I guess it was principal thing that we were not going to stand being invaded on the mainland proper. Interesting none-the-less.

We parted ways there and LeeAnne walked home and Jason and I made the final mad dash back to my house to meet up with friends for a friendly evening of games and food. As I recall we had Indian Food delivered. It was very tasty. The final note, is that after the game, Jason, Vince and I went to see Death to Smootchie for $3. We were supposed to meet a friend there, but we got there late. We also suspect that they never showed as I never actually confirmed with her that we would be showing. Anyhow, I didn’t hate it, but I could see why it bombed in the box office. It had some very funny bits though.

Then I rested.

-wOOt

Since I began this quest, drinking has started to turn into a job, rather than a leisure activity. I must admit that I have never been a heavy drinker, despite what some people might think. Having a high tolerance, it makes drinking a social activity for me, rather than a perpetual quest to get drunk.

I mention this because I like to throw parties and I like to attend parties. I enjoy going out to bars and clubs, and just about anywhere else where you can add drinking to an activity. I know this sounds odd, but the addition of alcohol makes every activity more social. People limber up and are usually willing to be friendlier and more fun.

As this quest has progressed though, extracurricular drinking has lost much of its appeal. It feels a little bit like cheating and little bit like, “What’s the point? This drink doesn’t get me closer to my goal.” When I go to a party now, I am less inclined to drink heavily and will rather wander around with a drink in hand and just chat with people. On those nights where I have drink heavily, it leaves me not really wanting to drink the next day. This isn’t from a hangover, but as I said, I don’t really drink for the drunk.

I guess when it comes down to it; the idea of extracurricular drinking has highlighter for me, why I drink. I drink heavily at parties because they are more fun that way. They make the people who I see all the time more interesting, and allow me to talk more freely with those people I would not normally talk to.

I have been finding though, that you can talk to random people easily if you just open yourself up and be friendly. Now this isn’t an earth shattering realization or anything, but it simply proves that people are people. Now if only I consider hot women to be simply people, I might actually be able to talk to them.

-wOOt

Its Tuesday and that means photography then drinking, and please kids, don’t drink and shoot. It can only lead you down the road of debauchery and stupidity. You will soon find yourself climbing on things you shouldn’t for a “great shot”, or taking pictures of your belly button lint because you think it will be cool. So remember if you find yourself with a beer in one hand and camera in the other, just put the camera back in your pocket and drink your beer.

I call Wolf to see if he wants to come out with us. I then call Jason to tell him I am coming over. I pick up Jason, Sean, Wolf and we head into Greenwood to finally make it to the Pig n Whistle. Oh, I had to lie to Wolf a little bit in order to get him to come out with us. You see, I know Wolf is a great to go out with, provided you can get him out the door. Now depending on the evening that can be more or less difficult based on circumstances I know nothing of. So the reason for this whole statement is that he asked me how many bars we were going to be hitting. I told him 2 maybe 3, when really I meant 3 probably 4. What is important is that I got him to come out and we all had fun.

Our first stop was the Pig N Whistle. We had a stand offish waitress who was uninteresting. Wolf picked up sponsorship of this bar. It was here that Jason told me that the Rain Dancer was no more. We now have our first dead bar. I’m actually kind of excited. We have been doing this long enough that they are going to start dying behind us. Is that actually a good thing?

From the Pig N Whistle we walked up the way to Baranof’s. I would never have picked this place out to actually go into, but I am glad that we did, it only for the story. Baranof has a nautical themed lounge in the back. We sat down and I got up to order drinks. Sean just got a Club Soda and Lime. Wolf asked for Gin and Juice and for some reason I got him a G&T. I guess the idea of Gin and Orange Juice was just kind of wrong to me and I subconsciously rejected it.

Now I watched Dodi, the bartendress, mix the drinks and perhaps mix is the wrong term for it. In order for her to have mixed the drinks, it would require there to be two ingredients in the drinks for that to be possible. Now while technically there were two, it is really only a technicality and strangely it is not what you may think. Dodi put in so little mixer, it was as if she considered it morally reprehensible to sully good booze with mixer. The drinks were so strong that Jason’s Cape Cod was flesh toned. My drink burned my eyes, and Wolf said the immortal phrase, “I think I can hear the ice crying.” There is in fact only one drink stronger than what we were poured there and that is only a technicality as there is no actual mixer in. That is the long fabled GinnyMcGin, which I believe consists of two types of gin and a splash of triple sec.

As we staggered out of Baranof’s it was over to the China Jade. Now at this point we still thought it would possible to hit the Crossroad on our way back. Oh how wrong we were. Now I want to say that this was the Pagoda Room but I just can’t be sure anymore. Anyhow when we first walk in we are struck by the smell, and it is not a good food smell. It is the kind of smell that you get when you walk into your aged grandmother’s house. We sat down at counter after asking the bartender if we could move some guys drink down the bar. He said sure and we did. Now I must say that I liked Mark, kooky old guy that he was. In addition, he mixed with a hand that was about as firm as Dodi’s. The main difference is that the glass was about 1 oz bigger and that meant that there was 1 oz more mixer, I hope. We also met Bob who is a waiter at the 13 coins downtown. I was hoping he was the bartender but it was too early for that. Bob also had a great line that night. “My mom always said that it doesn’t matter what you drink, it’s how much you drink.” Mark regaled us with stories of life on a fishing vessel and what it was like to visit Iceland. I guess it was something like $7 for beer because there is nothing else to do at night but drink. I can see that. The other strange thing, is that in Iceland the bars are taxed by the amount of booze that they sell. This means that every shot they pour is exactly to the line. You will never get a strong pour, and you will likely never get a weak pour as everyone knows exactly what the pour should look like. A policy like that would seriously hamper my ability to judge many of these bars.

From there it was a walk back to the car. We did in fact have to pass by the Crossroads as there was no way we could drink there. I stopped at Jack in the Box for food and since not a single one of us had any cash, I had to practically empty out my change slot so that I could buy $2.25 in food. Sheesh.

-wOOt

Now I know that parking has always been a problem in this city. In fact just about anything that has to do with a car is usually a hassle. Whether it is driving, parking, paying for gas, or flipping off the jerkwad that does not know how to use his turn signal. Pretty much my car, while I love owning it, is one of the largest stress inducers, through no fault of its own.

Driving in this city would be wonderful, if only I could put a bullet into the head of every idiot driving in front of my. I don't care if the idiots drive behind me, but they just better stay out of my way.

Now I am fortunate in that people in this city are dumb. So dumb that they miss perfectly good parking spot out in plain site. This gives me a nice warm glow inside knowing that I am getting great parking for a quarter of the aggravation and no money. I admit that it helps that I have parking karma (thanks mom.) It is very handy, I recommend that you get some.

So to sum up. I love my secret squirrel parking. I hate all other drivers. Parking and driving in this city sucks. Oh and the gas prices are too high also. But that is a rant for another day.

-wOOt

So on Monday I called Dana to let her know that I hadn’t heard from her and that I would just stop into the El Camino on Wednesday night since that is when she usually works. So Wednesday rolls around and at 11:00 or so I drop Sean off at the Ballroom and then I make my way to the El Camino. I walk up to the bartender, who is a new cute chick (since Cotton is now gone off to write the backs for baseball cards) and order a Camino Juice. She looks at me like I’m an idiot. This makes me incredibly sad that, that recipe did not change hands. Then I ask if Dana is working tonight and she says, “No. But she does usually work on Wednesday’s.” I didn’t have the heart to ask if she called in sick or is she was never working tonight. I drank my drink quietly in the corner and officially wrote her off.

Now the kicker comes the next day when I open up my mail box and I find a letter with the following return address in there.

Inside I found the following card and a note saying that is was time for spring cleaning and did I need any help. Wow fate can be cruel to kick a man in the Jimmy when he is down.

Now during the day I was talking to Sunday and I invited her out to come drinking with us, and I know that Sunday likes to drink. Thus it was arranged that we would meet up at Cooper’s in Wedgewood (really the edge of Lake City, but I think of everything in terms of their post office now.)

We met up at Cooper’s and we met Frances, a friend of Sunday’s. Now just to give you a little idea about these two women, they are tough. Sunday plays hockey (with pads and fights and everything) and Frances is a powerline worker. Great women, but I wouldn’t want to mess with either them. Now I am meeting Frances for the first time so all of this I learn over the course of the evening. Cooper’s was ok but kind of uninteresting. Oh I should mention that I am wearing my Milwaukee County Jail Shirt. I mention this because I get a bunch of comments from these older guys over at a table near ours as I walk buy them. Everyone always wants to know how I got the shirt? (I earned it) Did I buy it? (No) And then they say, “I didn’t know that they let you keep the shirt.” Why do people always gotta be so dumb. Now that I have gotte