We went out with Mel, who first appeared in our quest at bar 200, to a couple of bars. She was offering to sponsor, and we were happy to say yes, because she's a lot of fun to hang out with.

We started off with the unremarkable Greenwood Cheers after failing to hit the Lani Kai Bar in a bowling alley. Greenwood Cheers was nice enough, sort of, a bar in the very back room of a space. Before it there was the restaurant, and a diarama featuring honey bears made up as some sort of rustic grouping, and a bookcase, in what appeared to be a bried trend for literacy in low end bars.

The bar itself possessed the ever present Golden Tee, and a dart board, and a very fine jukebox that just kept playing good songs. The bartender was over the hill but nice, the clientele was quiet in the main, and we got to enjoy our pretty cheap and not too weak drinks and some conversation without any problems. It's actually a pretty decent place, really, but not the sort I'd go back to.

Thanks to Mel for picking up her first, but not her last, sponsorship.

After Cheers, we moved on into the Aurora area, to pick up Mr. Bill's. This is, for those not in the know, a 50's themed restaurant, done in bright drive in kind of colors, and filled with various black and white glossy photos of Marilyn and James Dean and such, along with other related memorabilia. Food items here are so enormous that you should get a prize for finishing a whole plate. The bar, where I'd never been before, is similarly bright and friendly in a fake sort of way. The bar is lit from below, but we sat at a table, so the limited charms of a cheaply lit bar (as opposed to the nice one at Waterfront) were wasted on us.

Our drinks were very cheap. It wasn't even happy hour. Instead, they just serve frightfully inexpensive well drinks, and the strength wasn't bad, either. We shared stories of Mr. Bill's and talked about movies, the one in this case naturally leading to the other due to a Requiem for a Dream story, and had some very large nachos.

The drinks are so cheap it's a tempting stop if you're in the area, but it's not the best I've had, and not worth going greatly out of your way. But for 2.50 wells4, make a stop if you drive on by.

Mel picked up her second sponsorship to close out the night, and we made plans to go out again the next night.

It's pretty much an old money steakhouse, located some distance underground in downtown Seattle. You descend a long flight of stairs and then the hostess directs you to the bar, which is kind of nice, with a cigar crowd kind of feel, but is unfortunately adorned, as pretty much all of Morton's is, with their crappy looking dog-bone logo.

We sat at a little table, Brandon, me and Mel on our second night out in a row, and ordered our drinks. They were pretty good drinks, with nothing like crappy well booze, but still, they weren't anything like the best places we've been. And they were very much pricey. Which seemed about right, because this place keeps chunks of their beef lying around to show off and then just dispose of at the end of the day, and that's not all they have just out for show in the way of perishable food. They waste more money than many people make in a day, because they make just that much.

It was weird to be completely under the earth, not just a little like with a couple of earlier bars. It felt like a normal restaurant, but then you noticed there were no windows, only walls covered with photos of all the famous types who had been there. Included several shots of George Bush the first, who apparently really likes the place.

The drinks were okay, but a bit too pricey, so I don't think I'd need to come back any time. The ambiance wasn't enough to win me over.

Mel, who very much likes the place, picked up the sponsorship, continuing her trend. We are very grateful.

We moved from Morton's across the way to the Sheraton, which was just your typical hotel bar, with a few exceptions.

There were lots of people smoking cigars. Terrible, totally foul smelling cigars. Including a table of cigar smoking women, which was weird to see. And the bar stank of it, except for just where we sat, for which I'm happy.

The drinks were pretty damn good. They were pretty strong, and pretty sizable, but of course, we paid way too much for them, so I don't think that really matters in the end.

Our bartender, Ani, was hard working but still friendly, which was good.

And other than the limited pleasure of sitting in the open area at the end of a hotel lobby, there wasn't much to report about this place, and nothing which commands a return visit at all.

Of the same owners as Palisade and Cutter's, Palomino is located in a little downtown mall, but we won't hold that against it. Because it was very artfully put together, with a nice long bar and friendly help, and the same magical Vanilla Sky Martini, which really must be tasted to be believed.

Mel and Brandon and I just ordered them as soon as we saw them, and we were all very happy with the results. We also ordered a very tasty item described as a goat cheese focaccia, but which was more like a goat cheese quesadilla made with very flat bread instead of a tortilla, and was in any case a perfect compliment to the drinks.

Our bartender was Greg, who knows so many of our other favorite bartenders that it was almost like meeting a lost family member.

The place was very nice, the drinks and food were excellent, the prices were a bit high but not ridiculous, and we had a pretty good time. Stop in if you're downtown, cause the place has an amazing drink.

A tiny little bar, open only 6 hours a day, but sadly we had to go there. We managed to show up during happy hour, but really, the drinks sucked and weren't so very cheap anyway, and there was nothing whatever to recommend the place, so I'll say nothing more except to note the service was slow, as well, because the same person tends bar and also has to fetch food and such.

Skip it, a lot. I feel sorry for any business travellers stuck here.

We were going to hit the Joint Cover Clubs, 7 clubs with 6 liqour licences in the Pioneer Square area. Okay, we thought it was 8 with 7, but that turned out to be wrong. Oh, well.

We were planning on going with Melody and Scott, who both used to work there, and still know people in the bars. Which was great, plus they're great to hang out with. Ole from our 5 Point night was also going to be working at the Bohemian, one of the clubs, after 10:30 or so, which was an added plus.

As the day grew near, I heard from people they were joining us. Sean was coming, and so was Clarkie (although he bitched out at the last minute). Bridgit was needing a night out, and Annie was coming. Brandon said Clara was coming, too.

And all of them made it.

But we also had surprise guests. We discovered something we had always expected, that we had real life flesh and blood readers, not just the comment posters we love but have never actually seen. For there she was, Kathrine, who is also and hereafter refered to by her first name Star, who had also brought her friend and fellow reader April, and their friend from college Kyle.

Which brought us to a great friggin' huge group.

We went to the Old Timer's first, where Scott and Melody got Brandon and me in free and everyone else for half cover. Wonderful of them to sponsor us in this non-drink yet very valued way. And after that first bar, kind of slow because it was early yet, we went out and discovered Trevor was trying to find us, and had succeeded.

So now there were a dozen of us, which is amazing, because we stayed all together through a crazy Saturday night in Pioneer Square.

There was a bridal party, normal ladies from California on vacation, bumping and grinding, extra strong drinks, hot cream cheese on a napkin (oh, so tasty), talking, making friends, kissing, missing people. Look for the details, such as I recall, in each of the bar reviews.

After it was over, and we had lost April to her home, and Melody and Scott to the Old Timer's, we all piled into cars (literally piled in some cases) and went to find one last drink. But Tia Lou's had a $10 cover even though it was one in the morning, so while Bridgit and Star went to the Croc to talk to a couple of Star's friends, the rest of us went to the Lava Lounge to meet up with them later, and have a beer. Because it's just a beer and wine place, it's not on our list, but we still hit it, cause it was that kind of night, when you needed to finish it off with another drink.

And at just before 2, when last call showed us to the door, we split up further, most of us piling into Bridgit's car two deep. Star and Kyle departed now, but the rest of us, saving Annie, went to Brandon's for snacks and conversation. I was rather lit by this time, but I recall it was all very pleasant. There are pictures, too, although I'm not exactly certain I was there for them. But I'm in them, so I must have been.

We all got dropped off eventually. It was almost 4 when I got home.

If in my reviews I don't comment too much about the prices or the drinks, it's because they didn't seem to matter. Really, the prices are a little high, and the drinks, if you didn't know people or get fancy shots like we pretty much did, aren't anything great. But you don't hit the Joint Cover for the quality of the drinks, or the great prices. You hit it for the experience.

An epic night, and thanks to Scott and Melody for covering cover, to Star/April, Kyle and Bridgit for sponsoring, and to everyone who came out for the Pioneer Square event.

Hopefully, we'll get as many for the Eastlake wackiness in a week or two. Six more bars, and maybe a stop in the terrible Hooters to really make it a night.

The first of the Epic Night Out bars, the 11 of us mobbed our way into the bar, which wasn't yet anything like packed. It was lightly populated, and pretty dark, so can't, like with most of the bars, say much about the interior. There were chairs and tables, mostly very plain, there was a good sized bar, there were some black lights. We got our drinks in little groups and stood around in the same, cause really, at eleven there were just too many to be in one group. There were the three new people, and Scott and Melody, and the bookstore pair who were haning with Clara, and Sean and Brandon and me moving around between them all.

We talked to the bartender, whose name I sadly fail to recall, but then really Brandon did most of the talking with him.

As would sadly be the case for much of the night, we drank a lot quicker than our guides, Scott and Melody, and they were forced to suck down their drinks. Or really, we didn't drink more quickly, because they were on their second drinks, but we still made them drink quick on that round.

We planned to come back later, and we sort of did, but not really, cause some of the later bars (the Bohemian, really) took up a lot of time.

Star and April shared the sponsorship for me and Brandon, and it was at this bar that the first of many shots also appeared, when Star, April, Kyle and Bridgit had lemon drop shots, which are different from lemon drop cocktails, but apparently are pretty tasty.

Thanks to the ladies for the sponsorship.

I can't recall anything remarkable that happened here. We had picked up Trevor in between, but really, that was about it. I'll instead say that I once had my checkbook picked out of my pocket in Doc Maynard's on Cinco de Mayo, and then say that Doc Maynards was really the Jan Brady of the bars.

I'll also worry that I'm remembering details from the Old Timer's that were actually part of Doc Maynard's, but oh well. I can live with that.

This is Scott's second favorite bar of the lot, after the Old Timer's where he worked. Scott and Melody know people here still, and after Melody introduced me to the bartender and told him a bit about the quest, Brandon and I ended up with doubles in a single glass, much potency for the same price, and I was very happy indeed.

We all somehow fit into a pair of tables in the back of the bar, near the lone pool table, and we were there for a while, talking and drinking and laughing a lot, and also spending our quarters on "prizes", as I'll call them, from the restrooms. We got a french tickler, we got some love drops, we got (was it here, as well?) a fortune condom. There was something for everyone.

After we'd been in the bar for some while (and it was very crowded, as the masses were arriving by this time) we thought to move on to the Central. So we did. Scott and Melody stayed behind for a bit to talk to their people, which, all things considered, was wise, cause they got to miss out on the next place in general.

The Central's a divey, rock, biker bar. The divey part can be assumed for most of the Joint Cover Clubs, because they have everyone in them all the time. But the rock part is kind of unusual, and the fact that bikers hang out there is very odd.

Also strange was the heat. The room was so very hot, it was hard to believe. I wished we could just skip it, it was so hot, but that wasn't possible. Instead, Bridgit picked up a round of shots, Red Headed Sluts, and we all slurped down these slightly questionable Jaeger-based drinks, except Trevor, who didn't turn up until just after the shots were downed, although he had requested on in the first excitement before he stepped away. Also, Scott and Melody didn't get one, cause, as I mentioned, they were still back in Larry's.

We hung out a bit longer, while a couple people had drinks, and Scott and Melody made it into the club and ordered, and then we realized it was about 1000 degrees in the place, and said we had to go. The late arrivals just nodded at the thought of the heat, and drank in one great gulp their new drinks.

Leaving was harder than it appeared, though. For some reason, the Central had become home to a bachelorette party, and Bridgit and Sean and perhaps some others, I can't recall, ended up with them for some reason. So we made many trips in and out to retrieve various people, before finally being able to head across the street to the New Orleans, still missing a couple of people who were to join us there, and amazingly did.

Thanks to Bridgit for another sponsorship.

By this time in the evening, we're all becoming very tipsy, and very chummy, and Star and April and Kyle seem like old friends, and so on. The ten of us reeled into the New Orleans, where Brandon and I ordered drinks, but then discovered that Kyle was sponsoring by purchasing more shots, Surfers on Acid this time. Again they were Jaeger based, and these weren't quite as good as Red Headed Sluts, but as he bought for all ten of us, who can complain?

We settled down with second drinks, many of us, and I talked with a couple of normal women up from California, one of them once a Seattlite, the other who worked for Nordstrom in California and had been brought up by her friend to see the home office, as it were. They were pleasant, and we secured a picture of them, and by the time we were done talking with them, the missing pair from the Central had arrived.

The New Orleans, I should note, has two portions, one the main area (where we weren't) which has a large space with a stage and many tables, also an upstairs area, and one the sub-space (where we were) with a large bar and a few tables. The place is, like most of Pioneer Square, not expensively decorated, because by and large it would be wasted money, both for the clientele, and for the fact that it just wouldn't last.

After everyone had their drinks, we mosied around the corner to the next, and last, bar.

Thanks to Kyle for the sponsorship, which is especially cool, as it was the first he'd heard about the whole thing that very evening when April and Star asked him to come out with them.

Ole was at the bar just inside the door, and we walked in and got very nice drinks for very nice prices. Then we pushed through the front space, already crowded, to investigate the back.

It's pretty big, there's a second bar, but mostly, there's dancing. That was the big deal, the dancing. Cause in the dimness, we all danced. Boys with girls. Girls with girls. Boys with boys. Mixing and matching. I'm not sure exactly how long we were there but it was an hour or more, while people got drink after drink in some cases (Star and April know a lot of the staff and the owners), while people moved in and out of our group, while people kissed and danced and got a bit more drunk.

We apparently had quite the crowd of admirers. I don't really recall, but then, I was drunk enough to be able to focus on us and that was about it.

We went outside a bit later, and Bridgit wanted to get hot cream cheese from the sausage cart beside the little outdoor space. So we did, a dollar of cream cheese on a napkin, and those of us who were there took turns feeding it to each other. Hot cream cheese, by the way, is very good.

If this seems very brief, and blurred together, just some impressions, that's oddly what the Bohemian was like by this time. We were all pretty tipsy, at least, and we were all having a great time, and when we finally decided to leave, it was kind of reluctantly on at least my part.

We couldn't find Clara and Annie for a while, and then suddenly they were there. Apparently, there were on the very other side of the sausage cart while we were out there, eating hot cream cheese, but neither they nor us had noticed anything. Which is weird, but so was the night, by this time.

We gathered out front, the dozen of us, still in a big mass somehow after all those bars. And we felt great. It was a great night, not quite over, but over as far as my bar reviews go.

Once upon a time, we thought the drinking would be the hard bit. The web site, that was just an extra. A little something to fill some extra time with. Just a few minutes here and there.

Ha.

It takes about as much time to do the entries as it does to go to all the damn bars. And that's including drive time. And we though, once, that we could do overall journal entries about the nights. I gave up about a week in. Brandon last a month, a bit more maybe, before he couldn't do it.

Between all the entries, the occasional editing, the updates that need to be posted, all of that, the web site's way more of a job than any of the other things we do.

Funny how wrong we were.

I don't know if it matters, the revisit. But I think it does. So here's a very quick sampling of places we revisited, and their revisit value (with a 1-10 rating. Good god, I'm rating something!).

Wild Rose--Very worth it. The place is still friendly, Florence is still great, and we need to stop in again soon. (9)

Elliott's--My favorite bar to hang out in now. I feel like I should always hang out there. Everyone's friendly, the drinks are great, and the location is sweet. (10)

Mulleady's--No reason to head back. It placed good at first, but on a repeat visit, even knowing what we were doing, I was told by my bartender of the first visit that I hadn't been in since (it was only like 3 weeks later) so what did she care? To which I say, what then do I care? No reason to go back, I said, and I mean it. The worst of the revisits. (1, because that's the lowest I gave myself)

The Dubliner--Dollar wells on Wednesdays is always a winner. The staff is quick, considering how busy they are, so go here often. (6)

Blue Bistro-- Still funky, still a great place. And cute staff, too. Hot toddys rule. (7)

The Vogue--I danced this time back, but the drinks were still only so-so. Still, dancing is a plus. (5)

Palisade--Still fabulous, with gorgeous koi ponds and such. And the Vanilla Sky is worth a revisit, for sure. (8)

El Gaucho--Not even reviewed and already revisited. And totally worth it, even with the cigar smoke-filled room. (9)

Ozzie's--Came back for a bachelor party. Wasn't better. (4)

Bada Lounge--Great style, always. Drinks were still good. (7)

Cloud Room--Who couldn't want to go back? (8)

and lastly

Claudio's--Once it had great revisit value--a (10). But with Melody gone, I don't think so. I'd have to go again to be certain, but I don't know that I will. It was a summer romance, I think. (3), just because it's still the cutest little bar.

(note that these are not in the order I revisited or anything, and that by and large they were revisits without Brandon, most often when he was out of town. He can make his own list, if he likes.)

Let it be known that the last bar in the 570 bars quest has been chosen. We are not going to tell you what it is, but trust me, it is a worthy ender and you will all be invited.

We will visit a famous personage as part of the last bar.

March 21st 2003 is a Friday and it will be an event. Mark your calender today.

THE event if you must know.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

This small dive of a restaurant had a very interesting feature. When we walked in, they were having Open Mic piano in the restaurant portion of the place. I didn’t check it out, but it was definitely there. The girl on stage was even pretty good. It is a nice change from Karaoke IMO.

The bar was smallish and all of the furniture had a lived in feel. Some of the black leather chairs are cracked and off to one side there is an old TV with knobs. Yes, I said it has knobs. I don’t even think they make TVs with knobs anymore. How early 80s of them. The walls were a nice touch though as they appeared to be dappled bronze. Hanging above the bar were some tinsel “ropes”. I don’t know what you call them though as I don’t decorate Christmas Trees.

The drink was $3.50 and was poured as a shot and a bit. It was strong but tasted cheap. The crowd was older and seemed to be mostly regulars.

The place was fine, but uninteresting. I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

I hadn’t quite realized it from the outside, but Pesos is an amazingly good looking place. Their most interesting feature is the large amount of metal work that have outside and in. Outside, there is a large metal outline sculpture of a rooster. I once took an excellent picture of it (I may even post it) as part of a “Kitsch in Seattle” photo project that I did. Inside, there are numerous metal hanging lamps and wall sconces. The best one, is a wall sconce shaped as a hanging skeleton. It is quite excellent.

Over the bar is a carved wooden altar of the Day of the Dead. There are a number of the DotD skeletons and lots of small accent pieces that were very interesting to look at. The walls are brushed in adobe colors and each hanging lamp in the dining room is different.

Our drink was $4.50 and pretty crappy. It was a real let down considering how great this place looked. The crowd is young and we saw a number of attractive girls there (and some not so attractive, but attainable girls as well.) Our bartender was affable, but he was much more concerned with all of the beautiful babies then in making sure we were happy.

I love the look of the place, I hear the food is good, but the drinks were blah and the service eh. There is a Spanish looking waitress there with Raven locks, great bust, great hips that I would really like to meet for a private dinner. Anyhow, I give Pesos 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5, but would be willing to upgrade them about a glass and a half if they could proved their drinks didn’t suck.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

I actually ate here about 2 years ago with a girlfriend, but I think that Sapphire was something else at the time. I am not sure though. While the food was good, it was a little pricey. Looking at the menu, I suspect that this is still the case.

Sapphire’s predominant color, as you might imagine, is blue. The walls are a solid blue, there is lots of candle light (in blue candle holders), etc … We sat in this enormous u shaped hard wooden booth. It was uncomfortable, and while they provided pillows, the pillows were hard and equally uncomfortable.

My tonic was poured from a small Schweppes tonic bottle, so at least I know it was good and fresh. Unfortunately while the drink was tall, there was no extra booze to counter the extra tonic thus making it “not all that great”. I also found it odd that the bartender (a smaller blonde haired guy) called me “pardner.” I’m not really the “pardner” type and I am definitely not a cowboy.

Anyhow, the drink was $4.50 plus tax. Once again the tax at the restaurants. I have got to smack these bitches around and tell them to stop doing this. Gah. All it does is piss me off and reduce the bartender’s tip. The place is good looking and trendy in that annoying Queen Anne way, but there is almost no reason to come here for drinks. Hell, you’d be better off with the Paragon down the way. At least they might have live music. I give the Sapphire 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Midscale

McMeniman’s is a good looking place, much like Dad Watson’s is a good looking place. Their drinks, however, are kind of questionable, much like Dad Watson’s. What was that you said? They are owned by the same people and you should only drink beer at them. Well that is an excellent idea. From now on, if I learn a place is owned by the same people as Dad Watson’s I am going to exercise my privilege and order beer, thus leaving Jason to suffer the questionable drink that will be delivered.

They are non-smoking and had lots of kitschy drawings and paintings on the walls. In the bathroom is a mural of Cretan Bull Dancers. No, I didn’t know what that was either. Jason says that anthropologists believe there was an order of women in ancient Crete that used to jump over bulls as part of a religious ceremony and it is now referred to as Cretan Bull Dancing. Interesting huh?

Anyhow, when we walked in, one of the waitresses was eating a Fudgsicle on the customer side of the bar and being stared at hungrily by this skeezy guy in his 40s (who obviously did not understand the concept of personal space.) You knew he wanted to be skeezy at the waitress, but I must say, she was skillful in brushing him off, without pissing him off. We did talk to her briefly about pudding pops and how they don’t make them anymore. I believe she said her name was Beria (is that Maria, but with a B? I have no idea.)

So McMeniman’s is a decent looking, non-smoking, beer drinking place. In other words, not really my thing. You might like it though. I could see you liking it. I won’t hold it against you, I swear. Really. I promise. That being said, I give McMeniman’s 2 Martini Glasses out of 5. I also didn’t see any hot or single women there.

-wOOt

We are now firmly in the 200s and have easily broken the 40% mark of completion. Where once we could go to a block, any block, and hit 4 bars, this is no longer the case. We are leaving the foot loose and fancy free times of our youth. We are now entering middle age.

Here we will need to pick with more caution. Here we will need to take the time to plot a course and choose a path. With the Pioneer Square joint cover clubs done, there are few big ticket areas to hit. We still have the south curve of Westlake (Daniel’s Broiler, Buca, etc …) to do, but that is not going to be the uproarious good time that Pioneer Square was.

We still have lots of downtown, Queen Anne, and ID bars, but now things are becoming more difficult. I can see the time when we hit bar 450 (did I just say bar 450, gah) when we need to plot out 2 bars that we can hit in an hour, rather than 4 bars in an hour and 20 (like we just did recently.)

We really have matured on this quest though. It seems weird to say that, but perhaps I should clarify. We have not so much matured personally, as we have become much more savvy and clever in how we approach these nights. We know who might be willing to go out on a specific night, we (generally) know when and how to pick up a lot of these crappy places so that we don’t waste them. Sometimes a place like El Gaucho sneaks up on you though, but that is just what makes this quest special.

We are still discovering a lot, but it takes less and less time to get a feel for the place and determine whether the bartender is worth talking to.

Anyhow, this is just a small rant and a small glimpse. I do want to say thank you again to all of our sponsors who help to keep this bizarre quest viable. Keep coming out with us and we will keep showing you a good time.

--wOOt

According to our list, this was formerly Il Gambaro. And indeed, it was also Il Gambaro a couple weeks earlier when we tried to get here. But now, it's Jai Thai.

It still looks kind of like an Italian place in color and decor. There's a little bar area on one side of the building, while the other is pretty much the restaurant. The bar has a few tables, a pretty good sized bar, and in the back a little casual lounge area with comfortable seating, so it appears.

We ordered our drinks, we sat and drank, we wondered about the Il Gambaro/Jai Thai thing. There weren't a lot of other people in the place, but the bartender, who we might have talked to under other circumstances, was still pretty busy because I think he was getting things ready to close. So we didn't talk to him, and we left pretty quickly.

Brandon ducked back in to ask about the name change, and we found out it had happened about a month ago, which explains it.

We tried to hit Tia Lou's before, but it didn't work, because they had a $10 cover for their remaining hour.

Well, the place is kind of nice, actually. There's a restaurant on the main floor with a little fountain, and upstairs is the actual bar area. It's a good-sized bar that also serves as a dance floor, but there was nobody there. That's because they were all out on the deck area, which was a big deck built over a little parking lot. There's a lower deck, where all the college age people were mixing and mingling, and an upper bar with more tables and ornate torches. We sat up above, because we lacked time to mingle, and enjoyed the feel of the deck on what was a nice sort of evening.

The drinks were very expensive, considering they were very tiny. Other than Murphy's, they may be the smallest drinks we've had, and for more than five, there's not much to appreciate there. Maybe if they were straight shots, but they weren't even close.

So it looks nice, the crowd seemed attractive, but the drinks suck, and the cover for the really good nights is way too much. So skip it.

It's a pizza joint! It's a bar!

What more needs to be said? But I'll write a bit more. The bar is pretty much the goal here, it seems, although it was kind late, so maybe that's just what happens. But the bar was really large, and the place was very dim and moody. There's outdoor seating, but it's small tables, which make you think they don't have people eat out there so much as just drink.

And really, what's wrong with a slice of pizza and a drink? Nothing.

The drinks weren't bad, the prices were okay, the service was cute and pretty friendly, and that was all the rest I have to write.

First, you should all go to El Gaucho.

Second, you should all go as soon as you're able.

Third, dress well, although you don't have to. But you'll feel better if you do.

Okay, onto the review.

It's a big green building, and there's nothing outside to make you think that it's anything at all. There's a neon gaucho on the outside, which looks kind of like a cowboy (because they are) but not. People I've talked to just think it's a Mexican restaurant.

Which it isn't, at all. It's incredible.

Walking in is amazing. It's a wonderous moment. You suddenly see this vast, dimly lit room, with stylish black tables and artfully placed lights, the tables rising in levels toward the back, subtly but certainly. It's incredible to see this place, like walking into some noir fantasy. There's a baby grand near the bar, with a piano player in a suit, and all the staff is in formal service wear--suits for the higher ups, black pants, vests and ties over white shirts for the rest. The bar is long and curved and it's a pleasure just to sit at it, look around and anticipate your drink.

Our bartender, David, was a great guy who's been tending bar for longer than most people have been alive. His wells are good, strong drinks, the sort of drink that you know you're getting your money's worth out of. And they're priced very reasonably for the size and quality, and really, the amazing locale.

David offered us a tour of the place when we expressed interest. And it's amazing. There's a cigar bar, dedicated to the pleasures of the stogie, and a small private dining room for 8 just beside the cigar bar, both very close to the main, huge bar. David unlocked the door to the lower floor, and took us down to see the Pampas room, an area open on the weekends for dancing and drinking, with it's own bar and a large dancefloor. They have jazz music and salsa dancing, and it's as stylish as the rest of the place. Back upstairs, there's also a larger private dining room for 18, and another superb private room with it's own bar, seating for about 40, a little lounge area and the air of someplace you really, really have to eat at once, at least once, in your life.

There are cigar lockers in the place, as well, where people can keep their private cigars in perfect shape, in wooden drawers with their own nameplates. Ichiro has cigars there, for one.

It's just an incredible place. I was stunned. Amazed. We chatted a bit with David about the bar. We sipped our drinks. It was good. David offered us a copy of his book, to pick up the next night, and we said we'd be by to get it. While I hit the restroom, Brandon was introduced to the manager, who provided us with a press kit that we were further amazed by, because it provided all the details about all the private rooms and how to get a hold of them (mostly it involves spending money, not for the rooms, just at the place. Which wouldn't be hard at all, because I already love it.)

El Gaucho was truly amazing. It's conditionally a Glen sponsorship, but the only way he gets to keep it is if, at some point, he comes out and drinks with us. Failing that, he loses this, the crown jewel of his sponsorship empire.

So it has finally happened. We are going to be interviewed on the radio.

We will be on the Don & Ron show on 100.7 (Seattle) at 8AM (ish).

It will be fabulous.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

The name on the menu said JaBu’s, but the name from the liquor board said Roy Street. Either way, there is a no sign, so it doesn’t matter. They let the neon beer ads announce the fact that you can buy booze, and then carry on from there.

The people in the bar were all locals and seemed to be regulars. There was a good mix of races and probably creeds as well. I doubt though, that you will find any Amish hanging out there, but maybe an Mennonite or two.

The bar is split into 3 areas: A small yellow room with a bar, a patio with 2 tables, a large wooden area with bar at one end and a small performing space at the other. We sat in the small yellow bar area and thought the place was crap until I explored and realized that they actually had quite a bit more to offer. Our service was average as were our drinks. Priced at $4, I will say that the tonic they used was some of the better in the business.

In the performance space were some instruments, including a stand up bass. Stand up basses are the bomb and make everyone’s performance better. Anyhow, the drink was fine, the crowd was local, and the music might even be good. I give the Roy Street Bistro 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

The Timberline is a gay dance club that specializes in having a good time. I often drive by this place and see dozens on people on the porch just airing themselves out before returning inside. The most notable feature is that they often have Country Line Dancing, which is apparently quite the draw.

Walk up one of two large sets of stairs and then cross the porch to get inside. Once inside, there is a small room to the right that is big enough to hold one pool table (which it does.) On the left is the women’s bathroom with a sign on the stalls that says, “One person in stall at a time.”

The main dance floor is bare wood and fairly large. Hanging like a chandelier above it is an enormous crafted lamp with a sun and a bunch of other things painted on it. A balcony surrounds the dance floor and I am told that is ok, but not amazing up there. Past the dance floor is the bar area with a beer bar and a separate booze bar. The bartender was shirtless and poured us $3.50 doubles. A giant moose head hangs on the wall across from the beer bar. On the bar was also some interesting beer adverts (like the electrified Smirnoff Ice (?) bottle.)

The Timberline is a very spacious and if they are playing good dance music, I suspect that it would be a lot fun. When we there it was mostly empty (except for a few gay guys and a couple of homely women (probably not gay) dancing together. I give the Timberline 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

Located on the corner of Nickerson St (I never knew that street had a name, although I always assume it did) right by the funeral home and Fremont bridge, it is hard to miss. There is a large outdoor patio and the place itself is quite large as well. While they have been in this location for about 8 years it was easy to miss them as there was a big ugly building between them and the road that goes over the Fremont Bridge.

The inside has a homey, local bar feel, and is populated with knick-knacks and regulars. A friendly average looking bartender walks around talking to people. He is friendly and amiable and seems to genuinely want to chat with you. They have a good beer selection and our bartender poured me an excellent Gimlet. Our drinks were $3 under happy hour so wOOt for us.

Bob Marley was playing in the background and then they had a selection of music that kind of sounded like old Clapton (Leila) but for the life of me, I don’t know how to classify it. Is it rock? Is it blues? What is it? I have no idea.

Anyhow, I really liked all of the kitschy crap on the walls (and shelves) and thought that it seemed like a great place to go for a drink occasionally. I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. I suspect that if they get as much summer overflow of hot chicks on the patio that some nights they deserve a 4, but we’ll have to see.

-wOOt

So here is the deal:

We have been to 250 bars and I have had somewhere in the neighborhood of 200+ Gin and Tonics.

I am really beginning to hate tonic and thus I am having trouble stomaching them. I am thinking about moving to a Gimlet (Gin & Lime juice in a Martini Glass) but they are sometimes extra and my father drinks them. Maybe I shouldn't worry about that though.

I like Whiskey & Coke, but I don't want the caffine as it keeps me awake (especially that late at night.) I also don't want Vodka Cran as Jason has been drinking those. Screwdrivers are too acidic to have more than two in a row as are Whiskey sours.

So, I am looking for suggestions on a new well drink.

Got any Ideas?

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

R Place is a gay nightclub with a little bit of everything. It is 3 floors, with each floor dedicated to something difference. The first floor is a basic bar with some seating, decent listening pop music/R&B and a bar. The second floor is full of amusements. There are several pool tables, video games, darts, and the same music as the bottom floor. The top floor is dancing, mingling, and picking up. The music up here is dance music and the dance floor is at the far side. This is definitely where the meat market is, if your looking for that sort of thing.

We ordered a Red-Headed Slut, but the bartender didn’t know how to make it, so we came up with something that sounded right. It wasn’t. It wasn’t bad, but I still do not know exactly what should be in it. Easy enough to find out, but I can’t be bothered at the moment to find out.

The crowd is your typical mix of young Capital Hill gay men and the other sort of guys who are attracted to those types of men. I think there were some fag hags as well, but I am not sure. We didn’t really hang around for very long (it being late already.) Anyhow, the drinks were strong and cheap and the music is good. R Place has a good selection of entertainments, but does none of them exceptionally well. It is really the Jack of All Trades of gay clubs. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

To find this place, drive down Pike (or is it Pine? I can never remember which is which) and look for the sign that says:

EAT.ING
DRINK.ING
SMOKE.ING
TURN LEFT

I love that sign and until tonight I had no idea what it was talking about. I’ve walked up and down that street a dozen times and never realized that there was a pretty cool place right down a “little side street.”

The .ING is not incredibly large, but does have some very attractive features. The bar is a short affair with high glass shelves showcasing some good looking bottles of booze. We sat at a small table that was bordered by plush red divans. At least I think they were divans. They are red, plush, and incredibly comfortable. Lying across the divans was like a small slice of heaven. A fresh Daisies sit on each table smiling up at the patrons.

Our drinks were $5 and my G&T was pretty good. A big thanks goes out to Annie who picked up her 3rd Sponsorship. Both Annie and I enjoyed the music that was playing (Jazz as I recall.) Jason and Bridgit were too wrapped up in their own silliness to really notice.

.ING is a good looking place with good looking bar staff. It is not exactly a hopping place, but it is very comfortable and has some good looking art on the walls. The color scheme is solid red with dark wood highlights. I recommend this place for a quiet drink with friends rather than for a raucously good night out. I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

So Bridgit has this thing about hot cream cheese. I will admit that it is really good. Being a jew, there are few things that I like more than cream cheese. It is the fact though that every time we walk past a sausage vendor, Bridgit has to get some hot cream cheese.

It is kind of funny, but I don’t think anyone else could get away with it. She is a hot blonde and when a hot blonde walks up and asks sweetly for some hot cream cheese how could they refuse. Ryan, the Pike St. Sausage Guy didn’t and neither did the vendor outside of the Bohemian.

I guess the big plus is that I get to lick the cream cheese off of her fingers. Jason does to, but at least I get to enjoy it more.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

The annoying thing about Anthony’s is that the upstairs bar closes at 10:00 and the downstairs bar closes at 10:30. This made it very difficult for us to pick it up. It is an exceptionally nice place, but since it is almost entirely fueled by tourists, I understand why they have such early hours.

In honor of baseball (I guess) they have this giant arty fish in the lobby that uses “peeled” baseballs for scales, a sculpted head and it is wearing a Mariners cap. It also had the biggest lips I have ever seen on a fish. This is especially important as I don’t think fish really have lips per say.

The bar was exceptionally attractive. It is a curved affair with these polished glass rocks glued to the top of it. They are painted with a ribbon of color and lit from below. The view is quite nice and a door leads to the patio which provides a better view of the sound. Our bartender was affable and admitted that he carded Bridgit because she had pigtails and was sucking on a lolly pop.

Our drinks were $4 plus tax and there is absolutely no reference in my notes to their strength. Thus they must have been average. Bridgit and Annie were with us and seemed to be having a good time. We were also expecting Star and her friend but we didn’t know which bar they would meet us at. Anthony’s had a lot of great accents and interesting lights and whatnot but it really is tourist nice, rather than nice, nice. I’ll explain later if anybody cares.

I give Anthony’s 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Upscale

Walking into the Edgewater Hotel is like walking onto the set of Twin Peaks. It is done up like a hunting lodge on crack. While everything seems normal, just below the surface is a rolling wave of insanity just waiting to explode. In the 6.7 there was a DJ playing crappy 80s mixes with accompanying videos on their wall of monitors. The pillars (which were the coolest thing about the whole place) are done up like trees. There is bark “pasted” onto silver pillar and then articulated branches come off of each one to make it into a mini tree. On each table sits a small pot of Wheat Grass, but it could easily have been Chia Pot.

Our waitress took about 5 minutes to come over to take our drink order and then about 20 minutes to get the actual drinks to our table. She was wearing these knee high black stockings, but her skirt (or whatever) was not long enough to cover the tops of them. It looked terrible. To be honest though, I did not notice the stocking things. Somone pointed them out to me after trying to explain what the hell they were talking about. The whole process took way too long. Anyhow, I think she was the only waitress in the entire place. If we had known we would have just gone to the bar and ferried drinks back and forth.

Star and Shelly met us outside of Anthony’s and then walked up here with us. Shelly seemed interesting but not terribly talkative. I understand that she is Star’s hairstylist and now they hang out together. Shelly and I talked about bars on Capital Hill for a while, especially since there was nothing else to do while we waited for our drinks. Now despite the fact that Star and Shelly did not continue on with us to the Spaghetti Factory (for reasons which are still unclear to me) I hope to seem them come out with us again.

The 6.7 should have been really nice, but with drinks priced at 5.49 + tax, terrible service, and this expectation that a midget with an axe was going to jump out any moment, it wasn’t. A big wOOt goes out of Annie who picked herself up another Sponsorship and pulled herself out of the doldrums of Single Sponsorship land. I give the Edgewater 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. Oh, and to make things worse, you have hope you can park on the street as their lot is valet only for $5 or $10.

-wOOt

The restaurant was pretty much abandoned in the early evening, but the bar had a few patrons scattered about. It's just one of your typical downtown spaces that look like a restaurant has been made to fit in it, like it was something else once before and has never quite made the leap into it's new look. Which is kind of strange, because Two Dagos has been there for a good number of years, and you would think they would have settled in by now.

The bartender was actually the waitress, filling in for a moment, so that we got our drinks and then she vanished. Another woman was soon behind the bar, but didn't really pay any attention to our existance. We eventually had to get the waitress to corral the bartender into getting our check for us.

There wasn't anything remarkable about the drink, except the price, which was really more than it should have been. And there was nothing much remarkable about Two Dagos, either.

Located in the Labor Temple at the northern end of Belltown, Zoey used to be Gomper's Steakhouse, a place I had heard of for it's cheap drinks and food. According to Cat the bartender, who worked elsewhere in the building during the Gomper's years, it was also really, really foul.

The new place is supposed to be the result of a big remodel, but if that's the case, I can't begin to guess what they used to look like. It was as if you had taken your parent's basement and opened a restaurant and bar in it. And not a great basement, either. The furniture was plain, the paint was heavy, the decor was kind of tacky.

The bartender was nice, though, and kind of cute in a alternachick way. She tried to convince us to go for doubles, which at only a dollar more were a great idea, but not one we had the capacity for.

It's a union bar, so their coasters claim, and in the Labor Temple, one could believe it. The prices are cheap, too, with the drinks very moderately priced. I kind of liked it, but I'm not really going back, because they weren't that cheap, or that strong.

This was a great place. The interior of the restaurant looks almost country Italian, with rough wooden tables and candles and such, and bottles on every table. The color are soft and faded, but it's obviously intentional. There's a bar there, but we didn't bother with it, because there was outdoor patio seating.

And that was very nice, in the back of the place. There's a number of tables, the whole area surrounded by a thin layer of garden, with Tibetan looking lampshade type things hanging about. Each table had seemingly random silverware, and they were covered by various vinyl tablecloths, but the whole impression was charming and eclectic rather than cheap.

They brought us bread, even though we were in theory only there for drinks, and would bring us more when we asked later. We ended up having an appetizer, delicious shitake mushroom and thai basil spring rolls.

The drinks were sizable and pretty strong, and the prices for them were fine. The service was excellent, the food was great, the place was superb.

Unfortunately, they're only open for dinner, which can make it a hard place to visit, but worth the trip, I think.

Definitely the emptiest bar we've ever been to. But then, it's really a nightspot, and we were there at about 6:30 during the week, so there was nobody present but us and the bartender, who was getting things ready for a birthday party later that night.

We discovered that the place liked to close and have private birthday parties for their employees if it's during the week, which I thought was rather good of them. There were also a couple people doing some work in the back, but whether for the party or what, I can't say.

Our bartender, Brian, not having much else to do, talked to us about the birthday customs, about the foam parties they have every so often, about the usual crowd, that sort of thing. He was a nice guy, but then, he was also probably wanting someone to talk to, because I have no idea if anyone had been in at all recently.

They have a bar area, which has some tables and stools along the half circle bar, and then the very spartan dance area behind the bar, which is pretty sizable but includes nothing that couldn't very easily be hosed down after a foam party. It's all concrete and metal, as it would need to be.

The drinks were kind of spendy, but they were pretty tasty too, so I don't think the value was bad or anything.

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Average

My first experience with Tommy’s was an average one. I saw a friend’s band play here and I was unimpressed. The drinks were bland, the place was typical, and the crowd was fratty. My experience this time was much better.

We went during happy hour, which always takes the sting out of these things. The drinks were good for $2 but I would hesitant to pay the standard $4. Maybe I am just being picky. I don’t expect every place to be the Baranof or Earl’s and really you go to Tommy’s for the band or for the women, not really for the drinks.

We had some of the best service there ever though. Our waitress was attractive and I think she was from South Africa. There seem to be a large number of South African waitresses in Seattle. I can definitely think of 2 and maybe a 3rd. It is hard to say though. While we sat there, we were approached by 3 different people (not our waitress) to see if we had been helped or if there was anything else we needed. They were all incredibly friendly as well.

During the day there is lots of seating, most of which is cleared out for the music shows. There is a back upstairs area that has some entertainments. I did not go up there so I am taking this on faith, second hand information and the Golden Tee Machine I could see from my seat. Tommy’s has more televisions that almost any other place we have been to. It is not a enormous place, but they definitely have more than there fair share of TVs.

Tommy’s is not the most attractive place but if you are looking for an acceptable local hang out with acceptable local bands and average drinks for $4 (or excellent drinks for $2) then Tommy’s is your place. I am not much for the frat crowd, so they are marked down for that, but they are marked up for the hot co-ed women which frat boys attract, so I guess it evens out. I give Tommy’s an even 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

Ruby is a large eclectic restaurant with a small bar and a swarm of flies in the front “lobby.” Jason tells me that they are always there, but I find them disconcerting to say the least. They are not the really annoying ones, but rather the type that fly around in the middle of your living room catching your attention while you try to watch TV. I find that a big gust of air from a pillow will knock them out of the sky.

Anyhow, the place is very eclectic, with woven rugs made by 3rd world children on the walls with lots of mirrors and other bizarre stuff. I am not sure why I am dissing this place so hard, but there are lots of little things about it that rubbed me the wrong way. Our bartender could have been an attractive redhead if she had wiped that scowl off her face. I also asked her to find out if they had chocolate cake but she never did come back to let me know.

The music was folksy and they had lots of wine and interesting wine racks. I am told the food is excellent. We had $3 Mohito specials. A big thanks to Bridgit for picking up another in a long line of sponsorships. Thankfully she also picks up the next place as well which helps her bar resume. The Mohito was quite good actually and I may have to go back for them as long as the bartender is at her other job. I give Ruby 2 Martini Glasses out of 5, but may bump it up one and half if they get rid of that bartender.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Serafina is the pick of the litter according to our friend Jeff and I quickly saw why. The restaurant is fairly inconspicuous from the outside, but stepping inside is like walking into an Italian Villa. It was just lovely. We sat at a small wooden booth with chipped lacquer off to the side of the bar. From there we had a good look of the 3 Graces wall mural. The best part of Serafina is the smell that assaults you. It is the assault of a desired lover rather than that of foul aggressor. I was in love immediately.

After ordering our drinks, we salivated over the menu. The menu is unique enough and diverse enough that even Bridgit, who is a veggie, can eat a lot of things here and us carnivores were looking at it hungrily as well. Jeff says that food is just amazing.

Our bartender, Matt, was very friendly, incredibly knowledgeable and understood the what it meant to romance future customers. He did not give us the one drink scorn that I am getting really annoyed with.

The restaurant is painted in soft colors and has linen(?) drapes over the lights to give it a very soft feeling. A patio in the back has overhead heat lamps which will make it a pleasant place to sit even in the fall, spring, and maybe even winter.

Bridgit picked up another great sponsorship and we thank her heartily. The drinks were good and priced at $5. I give Serafina the majestic 5 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Midscale

The Old Spaghetti Factory (OSF) is an incredibly spacious place and while it is nice looking it also looks like every other OSF I have ever been to. It has the Trolley Car (which is a novel place to eat) exposed wood, and a comfortable lounge. The lounge area is done up with lots of “olde” style furniture including plush chairs, lamps, tables, and a general “olde” décor. I can’t really explain “olde” but you will know it when you see it. I think it is a vague 20’s & 30’s style. The lounge is a clash of colors, shapes, and styles, but it does work, strangely enough.

Bridgit picked up sponsorship of the $3.50 drinks with a strong pour. We met her and a couple of her friends (Eric, Lisa, Matt) there as well. I just want to say the Lisa (her future roommate) was quite cool. I hope that she makes a return appearance out with us.

The bar menu looks good and is reasonably priced. We ate in the main area (and too much I might add) and the food was excellent. Our waiter was a god and I believe we tipped him very well. Oh, also in the bar were a large number of high stools and lamps with 20s style fringe.

I like the OSF, but I don’t know how much of a drinking destination it is. I give it 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

I think if there had been room in the cool little bar area up stairs I would not have hated it so much. Let me explain. The restaurant fills the downstairs and looks very nice. It has high semi-circular booths, a long bar, high ceilings, and neo-minimalist style. The bar is up a set of stairs and sits above the kitchen and whatnot. The lounge has a bar that sits about 8 and there are a number of tables off to the sides. Everything was full except for one seat at either end of the bar. Thus we went back downstairs to sit in the restaurant.

To begin with, the waitress wouldn’t sit us at a booth because she only had one left and we were only having drinks. Thus we sat at a little table off to the side. There we sat, ignored for much too long. Finally a water guy showed up but still no waitress. We eventually went to the bar to get drinks. The drinks were $5.50 and were weak.

A strange note. The walls were red and they had a light shining on one part of the wall that was a ring with a solid dot in the center (as that is how the O in TOI is displayed.) The problem is, is that it looked just the Target symbol. I hope they pay for that advertising.

In the bathroom there are Buddha frames around the mirrors and the tables have a bamboo mat covered with glass. Everything looks really good but Toi is like your stereotypical blonde: Good to look at, but no substance. And before you blondes hop on my case, know that I don’t care. I like Redheads first, then Brunettes, and finally blondes. I wouldn’t kick a blonde out of bed for eating Fig Newtons, but crackers … probably.

I give Toi a styling 2 half empty Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

I would like to start by saying that Jason is big dork. He noted, almost immediately, that 256 is 4 to the 4th power. I would also like to note a big thanks to Glen for picking up this random sponsorship.

So having gotten those two things out of the way, now onto the bar. Ponti is a restaurant by the Fremont Bridge, but you have to follow the sign that is “pointing” in its direction to find it. Thus it is kind of annoying as it is not under the giant sign, like I would have hoped. Anyhow, we got to the front entrance to find a copy of “100 Years of Solitude” open and laid face down on the chair but no one in sight. We found this very weird and could not decide if it was the greeter’s book or valet’s.

We sat in bar area (which was almost a lounge, but not quite) next to a fake fire. The bar was good looking in a light and airy way. It was comfortable without being annoying. A giant Marlin hangs on the wall as one of the few “fish” décor pieces that they have. There are tables with a view of the water, but we weren’t sitting at one of those.

Our waitress was very friendly (cute, mid 30’s) and brought us Red-Headed Sluts. They cost us $7.80 each but they were doubles, so it works out about right, if a bit on the high side. The clientele is more affluent and late 20s and up. It was nice if not terribly interesting. The menu looked good, but we just had drinks. I give Ponti’s a comfortable 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. Oh, and in case you were wondering, we bumped into the Valet on the way out and it was him who was reading that (what I am told) most excellent book. He said that the Rain had just stopped. I guess this is an important part.

-wOOt

The bar was filled with men who had to lean to stand, because they lacked the coordination to do anything else. On the other side, there's a woman warbling along with a piano in the restaurant portion, a crowd of fifteen or twenty raptly paying attention. It's open mic piano night at Sorry Charlie's, and really, it's quite awful.

Within a few moments I can understand why the guys at the bar are as drunk as they are. It's not the strength of the drinks (although they're not bad), it's the need to drown out the horrible singing. Not that it's bad, really. She's got a pretty nice voice. But she's singing like she was in a beer hall a century ago, that's the kind of style, and it's kind of trying for modern ears.

The place is kind of a boring bar and grill set up, nothing we haven't seen a dozen times before.

The drinks aren't truly expensive, but then, they're not all that good, either.

There's nothing more to really say. Sorry Charlie's seemed kind of sorry.

The decor is the most notable thing, a sort of Mexican Gothic, with all sorts of little Day of the Dead touches behind the bar, and in the back area of the bar a candelabra made from a squatting skeleton hangs on one wall. It's the little things like this, tossed among the normal sandy pastels of a mexican place, that made the look of Peso's something special.

Unfortunately, that was about all that was special. They had a wide tequila selection, I will admit, but it contained no Porfidio. And their drinks themselves were neither strong nor tasty. In fact, one might call them weak with some justification. Perhaps their money went to decor, and they can no longer afford generous pours.

We drank, we watched the reasonably good looking crowd move in and out (turnover was pretty high, it looked like) and then we left. I, for one, having seen the place already, don't need to go back. It's worth a look, but not a repear visit.

A place for high end hipsters, so it would appear, Sapphire was very uncomfortable. All their booths, you see, are made of wood, and not gently molded wood that accepts you, but rather, hard and angular jutting wood that just kind of cuts into your thighs and such. They provide soft cushions in each booth, about half a dozen in little bunches in the angluar corners, but it's not the same.

The drinks provided about the same level of comfort. Okay, they weren't quite as harsh, but they still failed to make me much more comfortable, and thus, they just failed.

I don't have much else to say, except that the paint seemed to be very fresh and very vivid in this place, but fortunately, in very dim bar mode (we weren't even sure they were open) it didn't stand out. During the day, as a restaurant, I can't help but think that's another less than comforting thing. The crowd at the bar, though, seemed not to mind, and seemed very much to be enjoying themselves. Not me, though.

In the same series of pub-type places as Dad Watson's and a number of others, McMinamen's was equally nothing remarkable. My drink at least didn't taste horrible, as at Dad's, but it wasn't anything special, either. Which made for four in a single night that didn't really do much for me. A truly unremarkable evening.

The service was good, though. But then, we were the only people at our end of the bar, where they were working to finish closing up the kitchen area, so we had a lot of people in the area. There was a lot of, "Did you need anything" from various passing people, but in the end, it still took a bit to get our check, possibly because they wanted us as a couple of the few customers to linger.

Not likely.

Brandon's posted something about the bathroom illustrations, so I won't say anything about them. Go look at his review if you want to know about the bull dancers.

Bridgit and I are walking from her car to meet Annie and Brandon so we can go drink at Kincora (which we didn't have to, so you'll never see a review of it) when we pass by a hot dog cart. We both kind of pause as I give thought to the idea of a hot dog, or at least, yes that's right, hot cream cheese.

So we ask the guy at the cart, who's just going about his normal nightly tasks of grilling dogs and such, if we can have some hot cream cheese on a napkin or something.

He looks at us like we're crazy and kind of laughs. He's a young guy, probably not much past 21, and his friend, about as old, also chuckles. We assure them, it's really good, and explain that normally people charge about a buck.

He says if we put something in his tip jar, we'll get some for free, and still chuckling, he scoops out a chunk and places it, in a carefully made aluminum tray, on his grill.

When it's ready, we get the guy (whose name, we have discovered, is Ryan) to try some, along with his friend, and they both acknowledge the greatness of hot cream cheese.

A bit later, having failed at Kincora and drank at R Place, we cross the street from the latter to his cart, and I get a hot dog. Once again, there is more hot cream cheese, and this time, there are other customers, who look at us as if we've gone crazy because of the hot cream cheese. But Ryan, who is a very nice and pretty cute kind of boy, agrees with us now, so we've made at least one convert.

And then we end up wandering past like two more times, so it's a Ryan night like it was once a Sam the Shoe Shine Man kind of week, although not in any way unnerving like Sam somehow was.

So if you're in the area, like at the Cha Cha or whatever, get yourself a dog from Ryan. He's a good guy.

We're rapidly approaching half way, in both time and bar senses, and so we decided to combine the two with another fun night out.

That is, on Saturday September 21st, we're going to hit bar 285.

And some others.

We'll be hitting the bars of Eastlake, starting with Daniel's Broiler and passing through such wonders as TGIFridays and Chandler's Crab House. There are 5 or 6 within two blocks, so it's a great place to just walk around in. We intend to start at 6:30 or so at Daniel's, and then spend several hours covering the half dozen, before ending with a beer at that tacky hall of all things breasty, Hooter's.

It should be fun, and we'd like to get a crowd to come join us, as we've had before with great effect. So come on out and have a drink. Or six.

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

The NW Happy Palace (and yes it is NW not northwest) is a large ugly white and pale aqua building with gold lettering. The inside isn’t much better. What used to be full restaurant seating (I am told) is now a row of booths down one side, a pool table, and a crappy “disco” light setup hanging from the ceiling. The lounge itself is not very big and is a total dive. It is filled with locals, age range about 40+.

Our waitress’ mastery of the English language was poor. We had to write down our drink order onto the back of her order pad. The drinks were typical Chinese food quality and strength. Priced at $2.50 they were about right. A big thanks goes out to Jeff for picking up this restaurant of his and Jason’s youth.

Strange thing about the bill. We got the bill and thought that we had been brought a double order of fried cream cheese dumpling, but in fact we had been charged $17.50 for $7.50 in drinks. The bartender was very funny when I brought the bill over to him and he chided the waitress in abstentia.

The drink was cheap and strong, the décor was horrible, the bartender was friendly in a vague sort of way, and the clientele was scary. I give the NW Happy Palace 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

Despite the fact that the décor is from the 60’s (or 70’s) it is actually in good condition. I say this, because at first I thought it was a dive, but then I realized that it was just out of date. I can accept that “retro” feel as being on purpose. Sure why not. It has brown padded booths, ugly orange upholstery, interesting wall ridges (I can’t explain them properly) and tons of Husky signage (the UW football team.)

The Wedgewood Broiler is THE place of Jason and Jeff’s youth. I guess they used to live just down the street from it. Thus it has tons of good memories for them. I found it uninteresting and just kind sat quietly while they talked about the place. The stories were interesting, but I was uninvolved.

Our waitress was friendly but unfortunately the bartender of their youth was not working today (but does still work there.) She even still remembers them. The drink was strong and priced at $3.50. Jeff picked up another mighty sponsorship, thus ensuring he would not languish in the doldrums of Sponsorhood.

Anyhow, it was fine, but it is really a neighborhood bar. The classification though stands. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5 since there is nothing wrong with it, but it did not thrill me either.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Average

This is a family establishment with a lounge. It is decorated in the Marie Callendar’s green and white. Our bartender was very friendly. It turns out she doubles as the manager (or is it the other way around?) I really liked her as she chatted with us and then got Jeff a pie for his dad. I am told that the Pie of the Month is the way to go and that Jeff’s dad was ecstatic when he brought it home.

The “It’s Hot” episode of the Simpsons was on the TV. The lounge is quite large, and very family. It would be a good place to tell your parents that you are gay. It is peaceful, it is family, and there is both pie and cheap plentiful booze. I suppose it would also be a good place to break up with your SO (significant other) for the same reasons.

Jeff picked up another sponsorship to go with his pie. We all know how well that pie and sponsorships go together. I was tempted to pick up a combo myself, but what do I need with a sponsorship. The drink was large and had a good pour, even for $4.25. Jason had a specialty drink that looked quite good.

While Marie Callendar’s is not the place that you are going to pick up hot chicks, it is an easy way to have a VERY low-key drink for a decent price. The décor is too family as a rule but if you want pie and booze how can you go wrong here. I give them 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 for the friendly staff, the decent pour, and of course, the pie.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Dive

For Jeff’s last sponsorship of the evening we went to what turned out to be a good sports bar. I don’t really keep track of sports but I like it when my friends are happy. The annoying thing about the Spot Too is that Jason and I went by there before, but we did not see any booze through the window so we left. Turns out that they keep it under the counter so we did in fact have to drink there.

Despite its dive status, it is well lit and not at all dingy. Sarah, our bartender, a cute blonde looked seriously overworked I think she needed to go home and get some sleep. She and Jeff had a “moment” but I don’t remember what it was about.

On the wall there was a tiny “Touch Tunes” but they didn’t have “On a Wing and a Prayer” by Bon Jovi. Jason felt that we should play that song for our 285 anniversary, but they didn’t have it in the JukeBox. There are 2 pool tables, 1 dart machine, and an actual phone booth with a phone in it (weird huh). We had the shortest straws ever in our drinks. On the walls were a ton of mirrors with beer logos or scenes printed on them.

Our drink was fine for $3 but not especially great. There was something wrong with my G&T, so I got a whiskey coke instead. The crowd was young but VERY local. Trust me. I give the Spot Too an uninteresting 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

So I have been lead to believe that we might have somewhere in the neighborhood of 12 readers or possibly even more. I have no way to tell though.

I do have a complaint about those readers we do have. It is simply this:

We have forums and we are willing to chat, but do you guys ever use them?

NOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

Maybe you don't even want to talk to us. Hey that's fine. I know for a fact that we have hot chicks cool cats, and suave gentleman reading this site. There are people here who you want to meet. Trust me.

On a different note, I am getting a little tired of seeing that I posted the last message in each and every forum that we have. Sure I sit in front of the computer all day with nothing to do but wait for someone to post, but that is no excuse.

I know that our readers must have something interesting to say. We get entertaining comments. Now I would like to see some chatter as well.

That having been said:

-wOOt

This place was once (is still?) the Roy St. Grill, but is now JaBu's, which is an odd sort of name.

There's a lower bar, with a few tables and a big bar that curves all around, then a center area that leads to the outdoor seating and has a Golden Tee 2003, and then the upper area with the main bar and the stage, where apparently there was a jazzy sort of upright bass group playing.

Upright bass is all one needs to mention, really.

The drinks were nothing special, the bartender was cute in a tall and slightly chunky way, the patrons were curiously friendly in the sort of way you want nothing to do with, like a Metro bus kind of friendly.

There's nothing much to JaBu's, except the fucked up kind of name.

I've been here before, which is good, because there were all of about 10 people there tonight by the time we arrived. In fact, I'm kind of surpised they served us, since there were so few non-employees.

However, all the boys were quite cute. The lesbians, on the other hand, were not.

The drinks were big and pretty strong, good points, and the prices were right. Pretty cheap, in fact.

The place is a big dance barn, for lack of a better term, with semi-western decor and such. There are actually good times to visit as well, if they continue the Sunday afternoon dance times, which were once something I quite liked, on the few occasions I went.

I accidentally used the ladies' room. Not that, with two women present, it much mattered.

A decent drink in a decent place.

Located just across the Fremont Bridge from Fremont, there's a large outdoor seating area and a big place in general, because there's a lot of bar seating on two sides of the bar, and lots of other seating in the place.

The bartender, whose name I didn't catch, was very friendly. We talked a bit about the business of the place, and I rather liked him and the bar in general. There was a sort of shrine, almost right before us, of various plaques and pictures of staff or regulars or whatever, all of which I rather liked.

The drinks were good, and not priced too high. I think that there should be more people going here, and as I liked it and it's pretty damn close to my house, I may just be one of them.

Pretty much, it's just a normal place. But nothing at all sucked, and that's very rare indeed.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

Located off the beaten path in Pioneer Square it is definitely worth a look. The main hall is a large fairly industrial space with 6 pool tables, exposed brick and plaster walls, a short metal bar, and a punk rock bartender. The crowd is young and interesting. In addition to the main area, there are two separate upstairs areas. On has a “private” pool table, and the other I think was just a mingling lounge with a bar game machine. I didn’t go up, but I should have.

Our bartender, Benjamin, looked like a better looking . I am sorry but I can’t remember his name. We talked to him about our quest and he turned out to be much cooler than we had previously given him credit for. He was wearing a bracelet made of 6 sided dice. Very cool. After buying our drinks and telling him about our quest he gave us shot called a Toe Warmer. It was really quite good. I don’t remember exactly what is in it, but it has Maker’s Mark so we know that our friend Mike would love it. Unless of course he is purist, which he might be, in which case he would consider it crime against nature to dilute such a wonder booze.

Towards the end of the visit, we were thanking Benjamin for his time (and the shot) when a patron walks by and yells, “Benjamin is the best fucking bartender in the world.” He then stumbled off. Well, I think that about says it all.

I plan to come back here to play some pool and look at the hotties hanging out here. I give Temple Billiards 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

Tiki Bob’s is the type of bar you would expect to find in Puerto Rico or on the coast of Mexico. But what it really is, is a bar that takes those actual bars (and they do exist) and warps the concept into a theme and then tries to be beach and party all of the time. It is one of the fakest themes in existence and probably one of the most annoying. I’ve lived in the North most of my life and beach themes up here are just annoying. They are fine in Australia, Florida, or Southern California. There they fit. Here they are just lacking and taunting. Needless to say, the décor was all fisherman’s netting, nautical crap, bamboo, and “island” themed stuff.

We sat at the bar with Sarah our bartender. Since it was Tuesday we had $2 well drinks all day (if we cared to be there all day, which I didn’t.) I suspect that Sarah gets hit on quite a lot. I say this because when we started our spiel she got this look in her eyes. It just felt like she was preparing to scrape a bug from her windshield. Anyhow, she listened to the spiel and then comped us Jager and OJ. Despite this compage I don’t think I have seen a more disinterested bartender. The place had been dead all day and she was the only one there. I think she comped us cause it was her bar and she could do as she pleased. Outside of the job she is probably quite lovely, but it is unlikely I will every find out.

In the background Britney Pop & R&B was playing. The crowd (all 12 of them) was young but none of them was terribly good looking. Sarah bummed a cigarette from me and I pretty much was done. Oh, Jager & OJ is kind of foul, but not as bad as you might imagine. I give Tiki Bob’s 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

For some reason at this point in the evening neither of us have any cash. We walk up to the bouncer and there is a $3 cover charge. Well, since we won’t pay covers we start to walk away. He waves us back over and says that we should give him $3 on the way out if we like it. I just nod and say sure, but I don’t realize at this point that I have 0 cash.

We walk up to the end of the chipped, sticky, wooden bar. In the back of the J&M there is live cover band Karokee. I think that they have a band and you get to sing karokee with the live band. Interesting in concept but still karoke.

I give the bartender my card and order our drinks. The bartender is apparently quite friendly with all of the lovely (and not so lovely) ladies that come through the door. We had this pair of women sitting kittie corner (or is it kiddie corner?) to us who were just scary. The girl dressed in black with her hair done up, long finger nails, and bad make up job, looked like she was on the prowl. I don’t think any man she found would survive the night. I know Goth and I know scary. She was scary. Her friend just looked like a witting accomplice who was too preppy to know any better.

The J&M was hot as hell, but there was a lot of activity going on here and the crowd was prime people watching fodder. I asked for the bill and the bartender said there was $20 minimum on credit cards. I just shrugged and said, “No cash.” She just shrugged and ran the bill. Wow, talk about a bar that is willing to compromise. Jason and I scrounged together about $1 in change and got the bartender to give us a bill for it. I tried to give it to the bouncer on the way out, but he just waved us away since he meant if we stayed ”all night.”

The drinks were a little weak for $4.50 but it is Pioneer Square. Oh, they also had some great architecture and décor. Since I imagine this was actually once a hotel, it had great wall frescos and hanging lamps. While we didn’t wade into the back it was interesting. I give the J&M 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Two levels, two restaurants, two bars, the same place.

We tried the downstairs, but it was rather full, so we skipped it and adjourned upstairs. We in this case were Brandon and me, with Bridgit and Annie. We were supposed to be meeting up with Star and possibly Kyle, and Star said she might bring along a friend.

However, there was no sign of them as we had our drinks at the bar, which was rather cluttered with stuff. The back bar area was very full of bottles of this, that and the other thing, and not in a particularly attractive way. It was just before close, so maybe they were moving things around for cleaning and such, but it wasn't greatly appealing. The bar itself was dotted with glass blobs meant to look somewhat like shells, and illuminated from below their fixed placement points in a way that was actually very attractive. Our drinks were pretty good, but nothing spectacular.

They were closing before too much longer, and we were trying to hit several more bars, so we decided to move on. Star and the rest hadn't shown yet, but the next bar was just a couple hundred yards down the waterfront, so it shouldn't be a problem, we thought.

This was almost one of the worst bars we'd been to. It still wasn't great, but it didn't suck as bad as it might have.

We sat at a table for six, because Star's ETA was very shortly, and she was bringing a friend, and then we waited. The Edgewater was once the hotel the rock stars stayed at, but I don't think that's the case anymore. It's now a rusticated place with lots of bark accents, tree branches springing from pillars, and occasionall deer head accessories.

The bar, 6-7 (or Six Seven, depending on where you look), is really very large, with a view of Elliott Bay that isn't the best until you get to the far end, a large fireplace, and many Japanese tourists. They also, for no apparent reason, had a DJ spinning 80's music. There was no dance floor, and no one was paying much attention to him, but there he was. A video wall behind him, 3 by 3 screens, failed to complement his presentation, since it just showed whatever random images it wanted to, as near as I could tell.

We waited.

We waited.

No waitress.

Other people came in, sat down, got served.

Still nothing.

Star and her colorist Shelly arrived, and still nothing.

I walked to the bar, asked if someone could come over and help us sometime, since others had sat and been helped after we arrived.

A bit later, we got a waitress, who took our orders, and then vanished into the night. We had time to catch up with Star, talk a bit with Shelly, use the restrooms as needed, and play with the pot of wheat grass that for some reason rested in the center of the table.

The drinks arrived. We immediately asked for our check. There was hesistant sampling, and then we realized that they were actually tasty drinks. Very good quality, really.

The check took a while to get there, as well, but the prices weren't bad. It was this combination of drink quality with decent prices that saved them from the worst list. Because of the half an hour before our drinks were actually on the table, and all.

Annie picked up the sponsorship at the Edgewater, a bar I intend never to return to, and we departed. Due to various misadventures, the next bar was not actually, as had been posted, the Spaghetti Factory, and also Star and Shelly departed before we had gone any distance at all. I suspect it is because they had already had a few at Cyclops before, and in any case Star lacked good shoes for walking and a jacket, and the night promised to need both, so her departure, while too bad, was understandable on all counts.

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

The Pink Door is located in Post Alley across from the Kells and is marked by a, yup you guessed it, Pink Door. Entering the Pink Door you walk down a set of stairs into a fairly spacious place. There is lots of seating split into a front dining area, a back bar/stage area, and a porch area. The porch has a decent view and the bar area stage is small but adequate.

We sat down and ordered specialty drinks. I had an OK Bellini, but Bridgit (our magnificent sponsor) had a Pink Martini which she said was quite good. Tim, our resident young’en, is not much of drinker and had some trouble with his martini glass. It had a Z shaped stem and he had trouble understanding that you were actually meant to hold it by the stem.

The décor is very eccelctic with unusual place settings, table cloths, and wall accoutraments. There was some pretty good jazz playing in the background until the band got up to perform. The band was pretty good as long as you weren’t looking at him. The lead singer was “a big fat guy, I mean like Orca fat”. They sounded good, but they did not pretty. I seem to recall this big guy in back wearing a feather boa, but I am not sure.

The service was friendly and prompt until … we ordered the check. We had gotten some free bread an olive oil and had drank our drinks. Our waitress came over and asked if we would like another round, we said no. Her face immediately darkened and all of the friendliness drained out of her face and she became very business like. All of a sudden we were no good to her. I will rant on this more later. Once we asked for our check the speed of her service dropped. As we were shuffled to the bottom of her priority list so to was her tip droppped to bottom of our priority list.

What started out as an excellent visit quickly became an exercise in frustration and annoyance. And so while the Pink Door started at 4 or 4 and a half, it fell to an average 3 Martini Glasses out of 5 and it was totally the waitresses fault.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class Midscale

Le Pichet (which is the Pitcher – water, not baseball – in French) has a wine bar feel but serves booze as well. The place is cozy with about 6 inside tables and 2 outside tables. The walls are simple white with dark wood trim and black accents. All in all it had a very elegant feel. Placed on each table is holder with cool triangle Salt and Pepper shakers that fits together to form a square and a jar of mustard.

The crowd is an older yuppie crowd and the prices on the menu reflect that. We ordered drinks and Bridgit ordered white cake with chocolate and raspberry for $5. It was excellent, but it needed more chocolate. The drinks were also $5. They were tall and tasty, but the water she brought over to our table was bleh.

So Tim, who was with us, looks about 7, even though he is 21 or 22. He thought he had managed to get away without being carded since his back had been to her. After she had taken the order and left, she came back specifically to card Tim. He was very sad.

While we were there, we were kind of loud. We were no more loud than normal, but I think we were a little roudier than this place normally gets. Sitting next to us was this older, yuppiesque, couple. They were dressed nicely and were having a nice romantic dinner for 2. When I got up to go, I accidentally bumped their table. I turned and apologized only to be greeted with this look of death from the woman. Sheesh, I said I was sorry.

Anyhow, Le Pichet is nice, but this is not really how you are going to want to spend your night out drinking. Our waitress was friendly but the other patrons were bitches. While the drink was good, it was still $5, which in on the pricier side. I give Le Pichet 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

Oh, bizarre side note. Jason did in fact skip to Loo while we were here.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

Hidden away in the back lounge of this nice Sushi / Asian Restaurant is Gay Lounge/Bar. If we hadn’t had to drink there, we never would have realized. Walking through the closed restaurant everything looks very nice and normal. Then you walk through a small hallway and it opens up into a nice, but gay lounge. You might miss it at first, but it quickly becomes apparent.

Behind the bar are glass cubes, each lit with a color of the rainbow. Appropriate bottles are placed in front of each colored cube and it looks quite awesome. Above the bathrooms is this portraint painting of the owner (I imagine) done up to look kind of like Don Ho. But maybe I am getting ahead of myself on that one. In the back, by the window with the view, is a small trio of disco balls.

They are playing good dance music in here and drinks are poured strong. They definitely have the best wells downtown for $4.50 (as they are doubles.) Glen picked up this sponsorship cause he needs more gay bars on his roster. Behind the bar a nice older gay gentleman slings drinks while dressed in a pale blue Hawain Shirt.

The nice thing about Sonya’s (for me as a straight man) was that it had the good dance music, the strong drinks, but none of the strutting and picking up (at least not while I was there.) That way I got the bonuses of a gay place, without any of the draw backs. I like Sonya’s and give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Located right off of First Avenue, it is part of the fringe establishments around Pike Place Market. Vivanda is a new and great addition to the Pike Place Restaurant scene. We were originally unhappy upon seeing their sign as we did not think it was on our list (we were wrong) and they clearly had booze to be drunk. I can not remember the style of their cuisine, I only remember the excellence of what we actually ate and drank there.

The staff was very friendly before we gave them a card and incredibly friendly afterwards. Catherine, the bartender, has worked there for 2 weeks and is what would be called a “a tall drink of water.” Erik, the Manager, is incredibly knowledgeable about all sorts of bizarre things. Interesting note: I asked why they did not have any matches and he said that the cheapest matches come on a slow boat from China (literally) in minimum orders of 50 or 60 thousand and have a lead time of about 6 months. And to top it all off, you have to have somewhere to store that many matches. Eeek.

Onto the comestibles. We sat down at the bar and Bridgit sat in front of a jar of Sangria. Thus she ordered a glass. It was excellent and Erik’s family recipe. Our well drinks were good (the Gin was Seagrams) but I don’t remember how much. They were probably $5. We also got to try the Red Apple Martini which was truly excellent. There was talk between Jason and Erik about Grapas and how it was all crapas. Erik proved him wrong by giving some quite excellent Grapas to drink. I am still not a big fan, but I would drink it. Bridgit and I ordered Bread Pudding (sans raisins) with White Chocolate Basil Gelato. I know, I thought the same thing, but the basil tasted really good. The Gelato is made special for them.

Wacky Bridgit notes: She thinks that Cheese Factories are fun and she said that she wasn’t wearing any underwear. I didn’t get to find out first hand, but why would she lie?

Wacky Tim Notes: Tim is in the dog house with his girlfriend because he came out with us. I say good for him, but he should just bring her along next time.

So there is little more that I can say for Vivanda than that it is tres’ excellent. Everything eatable or drinkable is great. Their décor is elegant (even if they have these strange framed art fish). Erik is the man. He even refilled my Zippo while I was sitting at the bar. Catherine was charming and didn’t hover at the bar while we chatted, not that I would have minded some hovering. Finally, Tony Bennet was playing in the background. I give Vivanda the Almighty 5 Martini Glasses out of 5. Oh, and if you go, say hi to Erik and Catherine for us.

Hey Glen: You got to Sponsor this bar. Sometimes it’s the Acorn and sometimes it Vivanda.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

Thumper’s is the “Suit and Tie” Gay bar of Capital Hill, according to Chuck, our bartender. It is a nice place on the inside, although it looks kind of drab and uninteresting from the outside. The bar is incredibly long, stretching down almost the entire length of the place. Window seating mirrors the bar and a long porch has additional standing/sitting opportunities.

Our drinks were strong and priced at $4. Bridgit picked another great sponsorship of the night. On the TV they had a tape with music videos and “psychedelic” patterns for music with no video. I did get to see the “Can’t Get You Outta My Head” video by Kylie Minogue. She is just the cutest thing. I don’t even hold the Locomotion against her anymore.

Chuck was an excellent bartender and Bridgit chatted with his boyfriend for a little while before we left. Thumper’s was nice, but not terribly exciting. I did manage to sit right in front of the dish washer again, but at least this time it was not hot as hell. Anyhow, I give Thumpers an even 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Hi All,

This is an announcement of our Halfway Run. We will be hitting bar 285 (half of 570) on our 6 month anniversary.

We will be starting at 7:00 PM at Daniel's Broiler on the South End of Lake Union (between Westlake and Eastlake). I know that it is early but most of these places are restaurants and there is no way to know how late they are open. I suppose we could call and check, but why :)

If you are interested in coming either meet us out front, inside, or drop me an email at brandon@570bars.com and I can provide my cell phone for you to get in contact with us so that we can tell you where we are.

Also to note is that since we are starting kind of early, we may be ending before most people pass out from too much liquor. As such, it is likely there will be night caps after bar 285. Where it happens, who can say, but there might be quiet conversation or there might be dancing. We'll see how we feel about it when bar 285 comes rolling in and tries to kick our ass.

We hope to see you all there.

-wOOt

Three floors high, with thumping beats you can hear for blocks around, R Place is a multi-purpose gay bar. There's a quieter area on the lowest floor, with a bar, some tables and TVs. The seond floor has some pool and similar entertainments. And the top floor, with a massive bar, has music or DJs or Karaoke, depending on the night.

We slogged all the way to the top floor, which was packed and nearly dark. It was a music night (thus the thumping beats for miles around) but really, there's not too much dancing. It's not so much that kind of place. There were a lot of cute boys (and some less than cute ones) mingling about, drinking heavily, and surveying the crowd.

We made it to the bar, Bridgit, Annie, Brandon and myself, and tried to order Red Headed Sluts. Neither bartender knew what they were, but they gave it a shot, and we ended up with a reasonable facsimile. Other than a trip to the bathroom for those who needed it, there wasn't any real reason to stay, since we needed another bar to round out the evening.

It's a pretty good hangout, though, and with the music to draw you in, it's pretty much impossible not to find.

We took a while to find this place, not because we just had to go there, but because we couldn't remember what street it was on, so we spent three blocks saying, It's on the next block, before we were finally right.

It's a coffee house/velvety lounge sort of place, with a few tables that have oddly sloped bench seats against the walls, and these red velvety cushioned ottoman type things that we occupied. The waitstaff was kind of cute women, but they weren't very attentive--in fact, it was the bartender who eventually came out from the bar to ask if we wanted another drink, while "our waitress" just walked past us again and again.

Brandon was feeling a bit surly, Bridgit was kind of drunk, Annie was picking up sponsorship, and I was just there, haning out. And kind of drunk.

It took forever to get the check, the waitress got a pretty small tip because she was a shitty server, and we departed .Ing, never, in my case, to return.

Annie picked up the sponsorship.

It should perhaps be noted that there's a sign around the corner for the place (which is how we found it) that said Eat-ing, Drink-ing, Smok-ing, to which I would perhaps also add, Wait-ing, but for the information of the customers, not the edification of the staff. Although it would be useful either way.

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

The Woodland Park Inn is not actually an Inn at all. There are no rooms to rent and there is only drinking and eating to be done. I wonder if there used to be an Inn or whether they are using the word Inn, in a classical setting, meaning a place to eat and drink. Anyhow, the Woodland Park Inn would be a real dive if not for the fact that it was so clean. The décor is out of date and the place feels old and seedy, but I think that is just its style affecting my perceptions.

I tried to get Jason to write something interesting about this place in my notebook, but all he wrote was, “something interesting!” Why does he always have to be a smart ass? Anyhow, Bridgit picked up the Sponsorship of the Woodland Park Inn and got us some happy hour drinks. My G&T was $2.50 under the happy hour well, but for some reason the Vodka Crans were not considered well drinks and were charged at the full $3.95. Weird.

There is a bell above the bar (but where people can reach it) with a sign that reads:

“Bell Rules
Ring it and you are buying the bar a drink.”

Now that is a rule I can get behind.

In the background folksy jazz was playing. For seating, there is a patio with a sign that says, “No patio seating when winds are strong.” There is also a single “banquet style” table in the center of the restaurant. All in all, it was vaguely interesting, but it is unlikely I would go back any time soon. I give it a bland 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

The Wild Mountain Café is a converted house that is now being used as a restaurant. It is a very sweet place with a garden out front (with Tiki Torches), a couple of porch seats, and then tables scattered throughout the house. The bar area is a separate room so technically it is a lounge. The bar only sits 4 people, but there are plastic animals scattered across it to play with. Bridgit and Jason had just a little too much fun playing with those animals if you ask me.

The 3 women who run the Wild Mountain Café (or at least seem to run it) are all exceptionally great people It was a little like being in a stereotypical “girl buddy” movie though. There was Felina, who was mostly business-like but seemed nice. There was Conny, who was the sassy one that tells it straight. Finally there is Mrs. Finch, who is properly British but you think there is more than meets the eye.

Their menu is excellent looking and the garlic and goat cheese bread was just amazing. We had something else as well that was great. They also do breakfast (or is just brunch?) I believe we are going back for brunch quite soon. I’ll have to let you all know how it was.

The place is very cute and the staff is very friendly. It is not very big though so you are going to come here for a meal rather than for drinking. It is on the 48 bus route so you can always hop on a bus and come down for excellent apps and a drink. The drink was good for $4.75. Oh, to go with their eclectic house, they also had the eclectic plates and silver wear that you would expect from someone’s home. I liked it here, but it lacks a bit in the socialization arena. As such you should be friendly with the staff (but not too friendly, cause they are working) or bring your own friends. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Average

They bring you free chips with good salsa and pour you a strong drink. As such, it is a fairly typical Mexican restaurant. I would swear that they cookie cutter the practices and the only thing that varies is the ingredients. Now I shouldn’t really vent at Tacos, cause I did actually enjoy it (even though I never did get to drink the Mexican Soda that I bought – leaving it drunkenly at Rosita’s.) It is just that I am getting tired of all of these Mexican restaurants that feel the same. Even when they are from different chains. I almost wish we had to go to that slightly run down but eclectic Mexican Restaurant on 15th Ave going towards 80th. At least that place has a little originality (although they also bring you free chips, so maybe not.)

There is a front patio area that overlooks the Greenlake ball field and is a nice place to sit on a warm Saturday (not that we did.) The drink was $4 and had a good strong pour. They have 4-6 and 10-12 happy hour. The place was fine. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Dive

If you want to Country Line Dance, I am told that this is the place to do it. Thankfully on Saturday afternoon there was no one here but some local (and a couple of not so local) drunks and time passers. Everyone sitting at the bar was probably twice our age (individually, not collectively.) The older bartender was friendly and helped me out with a pen. She was chatting with all of the regulars as I suspect that she did every day.

The place has a western theme and a small stage with some instruments on it. I can only imagine what this place looks like when it gets hopping. I just hope that they have a 3 tooth minimum at the door. Friends of mine from the south always joke there is a 3 tooth minimum for anyone who wants to talk to her. This place just strikes me as the closest Seattle is going to get to a place where that might be a concern. Seattleites have pretty good dental hygiene and that pleases me. There are few things worse than really bad teeth. Some imperfections are one thing, but if I can suffer with braces, then you can too.

I have this line written in my notes and I have no idea what it means. It is funny though.

“Are you a pirate or is that a bad eye?”

I can take a couple of guesses but I have no idea what the specifics were. The Little Red Hen has a western theme, strong drinks, and a hick type of clientele (at least that is my supposition considering the people that I know who go here.) I also don’t want to hear any hicks o