O'Shea's is a bar that has called to me several times, or rather, has been called to my attention a bunch of times by Mandee from the coffee cart in the bookstore. It's her favorite bar, and she's invited me to visit a bunch of times. However, with the quest and all, and the nights she goes, I hadn't been able to make it. But finally the occasion arose.

Brandon and I came into the bar, which is dark and smoky and filled with lots of college age types and a sprinkling of others. Mandee and Jenny had a table, so we joined them and were going to order drinks when Mandee said they would just probably end up on her tab anyway, so she'd go get them.

The drinks she brought back were in pint glasses, which was a good beginning, but sadly weren't as strong as three drinks would have been, a roughly equal comparison. But they were at least doubles, which is fine by me. Mandee said that was just pretty typical for the regular crowd, of which there was a lot. She knew a goodly chunk of the bar, at least vaguely, and it seemed like most of them knew her, too. It was kind of weird going to someone's regular haunt, cause we really haven't been to more than one or two bars that might qualify. It was, to say the least, odd. Mandee was at home at the bar in a way I've never been, and it was obvious she loved the place.

We talked a little, we hung out a little, a lot of people came by to say hi to the girls. It was a good little time, but there was a lot of smoke, and I couldn't take it for that much time, so we took off.

But it was a very friendly place (although being with a regular, as always, skews that), the sort of place you can bring your friends and your mom for your 21st birthday bar crawl. As someone did while we were there.

A good place, although I have no idea what the drink prices are, how strong a normal drink might be, or anything that might be of use to anyone else. But once the quest is done, if Mandee still goes there, I'll likely go with her a time or two more, cause it was a good time.

Unlike the Red Robin on the Waterfront, this place was what I thought Red Robin would be.

Dull, uninteresting in every way, with drinks that weren't worth the time spent to pour them, let alone the money charged.

Such a let down after the previous Red Robin.

Glen picked up the sponsorship. That poor man.

I really should remember something about this place, but I don't. It was the first bar we hit on a night, but I can't remember where the bar was, I can't remember what the drink was like, I can't remember anything.

So really I can't say much about it. I'm pretty sure the drink was unremarkable, the price was a bit too high, and the space was bland. There's nothing to say, except that Glen picked up the sponsorship.

We tried to drink here once before, but that was a hundred forty bars earlier. At that point, since the bar wasn't open longer than the restaurant, we were allowed not to return, because the rules changed for us. Now, since it's got a separate bar, we needed to drink there. And they were this time open.

The restaurant looks like a non-chain diner, just a plain sort of place, the sort of place the locals probably go for a short stack breakfast. In the back is the comfortable, old-fashioned kind of bar, with just little tables and chairs, and old regulars. The waitress thought we were younger than we were, the drinks were reasonably strong, the prices were cheap, and we got to see the end of the Mariners' game.

They also have a very cheap happy hour.

It was a nice sort of place, which was good, because after the Berkshire, retroactively, it's a good thing that at least it was memorable.

Just around the corner from Claire's Pantry is Jalisco, one of a small local chain of Mexican restaurants. They were closing up, but they said we could have a drink, so we were happy.

We sat down and ordered our drinks at the bar, which was still pretty much full of people, and observed that the people next to us got themselves served a basket of chips and salsa, both saucy salsa, and the pure chunk salsa. It was a great idea, so we got some ourselves.

We got the chips and consumed them with great haste as we had our drinks. They were good, cause the chunky salsa was totally tasty.

The drinks were fine, but it was weird, because we lingered, but they didn't at any point ask people to move on, or anything. It was odd. Nobody left except the people done with dinner, and the people in the bar didn't seem to mind at all. Cause we were actually there for like half an hour, because we lingered over our drinks.

We have to drink at 4 more Jalisco's, but I won't mind. I like the free chips and salsa option.

Clarkie dragged us out to another bar after we showed up post-Jalisco. We went to the nearby yet different world Bit Saloon, a sort of Western bar right in Ballard and yet in a part of Ballard that I've never seemingly heard of.

The bar was tacky and western, it was casual, the bartender was sitting at the bar when we came in. We had our drinks, which weren't too strong or anything, and then moved on into the night, cause the place was smoky, hickish and bland, and I'm glad we don't have to go back again. I'm not sure, but I think Clarkie regretted convincing us to hit one more bar, cause it turned out to be such a lame place.

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

Located in the Sunset Bowling Alley, this little craptastical dive of a place is train wreck waiting to happen. It is small, dingy, and filled with scary people. That being said, I really liked Julie, our waitress, and you can order hot nuts (like up at the Old 5th Ave).

We had to pick the one weeknight when the had terrible, terrible Karokee (W-F-S). It just made the whole experience even more surreal and bizarre. There was this scary old guy singing something that I just prayed would stop.

The drink was $3 and weak.

We could not get out of there fast enough.

I give the Sundowner 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 for their selling of hot cashews.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

While Il Fornaio is not a truly an upscale restaurant (it being located in a mall and all) it did look very attractive and had a very attentive manager.

There was a very distinct Square/blocky motif going on. Everything had a hard edge or point to it. Whether it was the wall or floor design, or the type of lamps they choose. With the different but complimentary colors, it actually looked pretty cool.

Our drinks were $5 and on the weak side (but they had high quality tonic), but this was made up for by the quite excellent basket of free bread they brought us (and the side of Olive Oil and Vinegar.) The basket was made up of a selection of different breads and textures, but the winner was this rosemary loaf that when dunked in the olive oil just took the day. I prefer to think of it as paying $2.50 for the drink and $2.50 for the bread.

The Manager was there to pick up the slack for the bartender (who seemed to be the waiter’s bitch). He had mad skillz, making sure we were taken care of, acting just friendly enough that we knew our happiness mattered without getting in the way of us having a good time.

If you have the money, go have a drink and maybe a nibble at Il Fornaio. I give them 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5, with a bump to 4 and half for the bread and the Manager.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant/Brew Pub
Class: Midscale

Gordon Biersch is a Brew Pub, first and foremost, but I have never drank beer there. I suppose I should try it some time, but not unless Glen is there with me so that we can heckle the beer when it sucks.

The most notable thing about GB is that our bartender, Shannon, was pregnant. She was very friendly, but I don’t think I quite around to giving her a card. My Gimlet was of good strength (which they charged me an extra $1.50 for) but Jason said he really liked his Cranberry Juice.

The look of GB is sterile, and while it tries to go for the chic polished look of the 727, it just doesn’t have the punch to back it up. I am not quite sure what differentiates sterile from stylin’, but there must be some unique feature that makes all of the difference. I need to figure out what this feature is, so that when we open up a place, it can have that edge.

GB was fine, but nothing special. My drink was passable, but then again, it was straight Gin and some lime juice so how hard is it to screw that up. I give them 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

The Cheesecake Factory is a marvel to behold. The inside is an enormous vaulted area that feels like a Palace from a long ago forgotten realm, built here to feed the decadence of a society in decline. Blown glass fixtures dot the landscape and huge pillars painted bronze tower over everyone ensuring that the enormous ceilings do not tumble down crushing us in some Clash of the Titans-esque moment.

Modern music plays in the background, but I can’t remember exactly what it sounded like. Our bartender, Mitsy, was also pregnant, which made for our 2nd pregnant bartender of the evening. We ordered our drink and took her recommendation on the Dutch Apple Cheesecake (they were out of the Dulce which left Jason a sad panda.)

This place was just absolutely amazing to look at, the staff were friendly, and the place was packed. Strangely, I do not really have a lot more to say about them though. The drinks were $5, but at least Mitsy treated us well.

I am giving them 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

There is nothing special about this place. It is one part sports bar in feel, and one part Mexican dive, without being crappy enough that it counts as an actual dive. The drinks were strong and the bartenders jovial (as many Mexican bartenders seem to be.) There were no free chips and the only upside was that Wolf was picking up this sponsorship. Thanks Wolf!!!!

You know, I should have more to say, but I think I am saving my energy for the Typhoon review. I give it 1 and a half Martini Glasses out 5.

-wOOt

The night started off innocently enough. Jason and I had pre-arranged with Danielle to go out this Saturday since she actually had a night free. We were going to be going out drinking anyway, so why the hell not. Danielle was going to call me at 9 PM to arrange where to meet us, so we had an hour or two to kill.

Clarkie wanted to go drinking, but he also needed to go to Best Buy. Jason wanted to go drinking but he needed to buy a wedding present at Targ’et (“they” are registered there you know.) Thus it was decided that we would finish off the couple of Northgate Mall places that we had left. There were 3: Azteca, California Pizza Kitchen, and Tony Roma’s. That would be perfect.

We went to Targ’et first and then to Best Buy. I believe it was at that moment that my life ended since I bought Neverwinter nights. Fortunately there would be lots of time for me to play it. Actually the truth is, I was tired of listening to people talk about it around me and I wanted to play it anyway. Thus I bought it and beat it as fast as I could. That was about 2 weeks and 80 hours later. Now if only I could devote them much time to other more important things I would be much better off.

Anyhow, we bought stuff and then went to Azteca since they have free chips. We got drinks, chatted with the bartender, and got stared at by this creepy guy who perked up at Clarkie’s mention that he works at Deja’ Vu (a strip club.) The guy was old and scary and I imagine that he salivated while he spoke. We chatted with the bartender and he sent a plate of mis-ordered food over to us. I think they were chicken toquitos, but whatever they were, they were good.

From there we went to California Pizza Kitchen for a lovely surprise. Turns out, that while they pay for a full liquor license they only serve wine and beer. The bartender looked at us like we had 3 heads when we said, “Are you sure you don’t serve booze?” We get to write this one off. Excellent.

Then we walked over to Tony Roma’s. We had to contend with a lot of construction annoyance and I was wearing the wrong boots. These new boots look good, but they are not nearly as comfortable as my other more worn boots. Anyhow, we had drinks at Tony Roma’s and utterly failed to get us some free bread (they should have offered if you ask me.) There was also a strange moment when Clarkie came out of the bathroom and mentioned that he had been talking to the manager in the bathroom. Jason simply said that you don’t talk to other people in the bathroom. It is just not done, especially not when you are both standing at a Urinal. My feelings are little less strict on the matter, but only when it comes to people you know. You don’t talk to strangers in the bathroom, but friends, maybe.

Danielle called. We agreed to meet her at a place called Dawg Tagz up near Shoreline. Since we had some time we decided to hit Outback Steakhouse, which was some blocks north of Dawg Tagz. Outback was dull, but at least we got some very tasty fresh bread. We then got a call from Danielle saying that she could not find Dawg Tagz. She was right in the area but she could not find it. Quickly consulting our list we sent Danielle to Robb’s 125th Street Grill and we would meet them in about 5 minutes.

Making our way over to Robb’s we finally got to meet up with Danielle good and proper, after all this time. She was with a boy who may or may not be her boyfriend and I don’t think he even knew (he said as much later.) Robb’s was dull but the conversation was good. Danielle noticed that we were in happy hour and that we had been overcharged for our drinks. The bartender said, “I never seem to remember when happy hour is.” How is this possible if you work in a bar almost every night. She was nice enough but it still annoyed me.

We then walked to where Dawg Tagz was supposed to be. As it turns out, it is named the Aurora Grill (or some such) in white letters and Dawg Tagz written in Red Letters (which were utterly invisible in the dark.) Walking in was quite the experience. The place is slightly larger than my living room with a pool table and populated by Aurora locals, an interesting breed to say the least. Everyone looked like they worked hard and they worked dirty. They enjoyed a good beer and enjoyed spending time at the local hole before going home. Then we walked in.

Sitting in the back we were the center of attention for the first 15 seconds and then after that we were mostly ignored, mostly. I think I talked about this already in the Dawg Tagz review, but I got hustled at pool for drinks. Two guys, both distinctly working class, were talking with us and convinced me to play pool against them. I don’t quite remember how it happened, but the pool playing was innocent enough. Once I agreed to the pool I was hooked. They then offered a simple gentleman’s bet and how could I refuse, a stranger in a strange land. So be it. Needless to say, we lost. They sucked, but they sucked less than we did. I blame Clarkie but that is just cause he doesn’t read these and can’t defend himself. Excellent.

We then went down to Mandarin Gate, which was packed with bored Northgate Karaoke freaks. Jason got himself jinxed by Clarkie who then refused to say his name. Jason proceeded to throw ice, but Clarkie refused to give. He opened up his shirt and just let Jason throw the ice down the front of it. It amused me if nothing else. Jason looked pissed. After Mandarin Gate we tried to go to another Chinese restaurant but they were closed. Scorn!!!

Danielle and her boy then left us as she was tired. It was great to see her. It was now deciding time. We had done 6. We have never done more than 7. There was the House of Pizza right down the road. Hmmmmm, would they still be serving food. I needed food and I needed food badly. I was still ok to drive and we weren’t going far, but I was on the edge.

The House of Pizza was a godsend. Lisa, our waitress, was excellent. We told her about our quest and she loved it. We chatted for ages and then she brought out the Derailer. This is a drink from her home area of northern Ohio. I guess something good has come out of Ohio other than my friend Allison. Who knew. The food was amazing. The bread, even better. We also chatted with the owner but the entire visit is a tad fuzzy to me. I do remember not being allowed any more than a sip of the Derailer in order to keep me on the right side of the line.

It was then decided. We would do 8. Eight. Do you know how big that decision was? It had to be done. I couldn’t allow us to have two 7 nights. That just seemed wrong when eight was within my grip. I would be victorious.

Kangaroo and Kiwi was right down the road and it would be our unknowing victim. We found the final and ultimate capper for the evening there. They had Aussie and Kiwi candy bars. Sweet, sweet, candy. Gummi Venus De Milo aaahahauahauhhagghh. They had Cadbury Flake, Smarties (British M&Ms, sort of), and the almighty Tim Tam. How Jason and I gorged ourselves on candy. Clarkie whimpered over to the side and finally, ultimately could not finish his drink. Wussie. Our bartender was hot, but there was no way we were going to bother trying to give her card. Besides, I had candy, why did I need recognition?

So when it was all said and done, the MVP of the night goes to the bread. “The bread?” you say. Yes the bread. It was all of the bread that we ate that night that allowed us to power through 8 bars in about 4 and a half hours (with a good stint of it at Dawg Tagz and the House of Pizza.) Chips and Toquito at Azteca, bread at Outback, Lasagna and lots of garlic bread at the House of Pizza, and finally Tim Tams at Kangaroo and Kiwi. And don’t question me when I call them all bread. I won’t brook it.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Upscale

There is no other way to describe The Typhoon, other than by calling it the: Jiggy Jiggy Hump Hump Bomb. Trust me. We have heard the name of The Typhoon muttered by the lips of bartenders all throughout Seattle. Anyone who mentions it speaks with love in their voice and now we understand why.

We had been in Elliott’s earlier and we mentioned that we were going to the Typhoon. Ethan said that Libor was probably working and that we should say hi. Libor was in fact working and turned out to be just as funny and great as Ethan said he would be.

Now before I talk about what we drank, I have to mention the look and feel of The Typhoon! The entire place is Asian Chic with interesting touches that put it above your average nice Asian Restaurant. Surrounding the lounge are 10 foot high Bamboo poles cut at the top and formed into a small wall/garden that separates, but does not cut off, the lounge from the restaurant. On the way to the bathrooms, there is a set of shelving that holds nothing but jars of tea. There are 4 shelves, each the same, except for the color of their contents. It does not look as cool as the tea shop in Paris I went to, or even the Tea Shop in the Pacific Place Mall, but it is still an excellent touch.

Libor looked at us like we had two heads when we called him by name, but served us cheerfully when we mentioned Ethan. There were tons of other bartenders around, including a guy who we recognized from Elliott’s. Everything looked gorgeous and they had “the chalk guys” work up. I ordered something off the chalk menu but Libor said they stopped serving those, ever (I think it was a key lime martini or something.)

Wolf looked up and saw that they had Porfidio. Being the Sponsor Extraordinaire that he is, ordered 3 shots of it in homage to its loss. Turns out those were $15 shots and thank god Libor comped us one of them since Jason’s birthday was on the next Saturday.

After that, Jason noticed that they had Plantation Gold (as featured at the Waterfront.) So Wolf ordered us a round of those as well. I have to say, I figured he was just going to order us one and we would share it, but no. We each had our own.

Now this is all relevant since it means you can get some really fine high end liquor here. I have no idea how their well drinks are, but if bartenders drink here, then so do I.

I loved the look, the drinks, the bartender, the people, the everything. I give The Typhoon! a mighty 5 Martini Glasses out of 5 for a flawless (if pricey) victory. Thanks again to Wolf who picked up a single bar with a $90 price tag. Damn. That is all I can say. Damn.

Oh, and also

-wOOt

The first bar of the night was Azteca, a Mexican chain restaurant that I didn't think would turn out to be too impressive. Located in Northgate Mall, this Azteca, like all of them, featured bright colors, sand and red, white and green dominating, and an atmosphere both chaotic and festive. The restaurant, unlike most, had rather high ceilings, and seemed very open and airy.

We (Clarkie, Brandon and I) sat at the bar and ordered our drinks. They were there in moments, and were a pretty tasty batch. We thought we'd get some food, since we were thinking it would be a four or five bar night (turned out to be eight), so we started with chips and salsa. But then, before we ordered anything anyway, there was a plate of chicken taquitos that had apparently been misordered - we were at the bar, we got the food. It was tasty, it was hot, it was filling, and we had free food. Which is always a good thing, especially on the beginning of a long night.

We talked a bit about how we liked this Azteca better than the Ballard one, and almost as much as the late, great Shilshole Azteca. Brandon commented on its newness, which led one of the bartenders to point out they had been just two blocks over for years and just moved into a larger space. Which made for quite the improvement in look.

So the mall problem never surfaced, since Azteca in Northgate was a good place with good drinks at a good price, and the sort of place you can, if you're lucky, eat for free.

Hi All,

This is just a note to let you all know that we will be taking a week off while I go on vacation. We will use this time to catch up and make sure we are up to date before we start on leg 3 of this amazing quest.

I want to thank everyone for your patience and to those 12 people who actually read our site on semi-regularly basis.

Anyhow we will begin again fresh on the 12th or 13th with our next installment of "As the Glass Clinks"

Until then

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Where the Ballroom is all about squashing masses of people into a fun filled and music pounding environment, The Garage fills a separate but equal niche. There are 12 pool tables, which are usually full, but do not crowd each other. There is an enclosed bar area, a dining area in the back, and an interesting waiting area in front. There is even a patio to boot, although it is not nearly as nice as the Ballroom’s.

The drinks are pretty good, if on the pricier side (like $4.50) but since Wolf picked up the sponsorship, I didn’t mind quite so much. This was 3 Sponsorships in a row for Wolf and we thank him heartily for it.

The bar area is nice and cozy where you can get a drink and not be bothered by incredibly loud music. The front lounge has airport chairs, which are cool looking but not the most comfortable. I give them a thumbs up though if only for shear kitsch value.

The crowd is filled with lots of good-looking women, but they seem to be there with guys. If they are friends or nubbly bumpers, I can’t say. But who am I to slide up to a pool table with a guy girl mix and start hitting on some random girl. Maybe if I got “the eye” first, but still doubtful.

The Garage is pretty nice and focuses more on pool than on pulling (Brit speak for picking up a hottie.) The drink was nothing special. I will give the Garage 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

There's not much to report. The most exceptional thing was Clarkie getting cruised in the bathroom by someone claiming to be the manager, asking (while at the the stalls!?) if "they were treating him right out there." Awful. Just awful.

There was a guy at the bar who flipped the bartender much attitude, but apparently does so regularly. It wasn't funny, though, and the bartender was obviously less than amused, but the guy just kept it up, and must do so all the time. He probably thinks the whole thing is hysterical.

Some other guys came in looking for some papers they had forgotten in the bar the night before. They had, of course, been disposed of, because they were just scraps of paper, but no one seemed able to believe this.

Our drinks were nothing remarkable.

Nothing.

I have in my notes that Clarkie sponsored here, although I'm not certain if that actually happened. It must have, though.

At the Outback, they give you free bread. It's dark and hearty, and I didn't care for it that much. But it was free, and hearty.

We got strong drinks, which is good. Pretty strong, that is. But not so much as all that. The drinks weren't badly priced.

We were spending time at the Outback while waiting for Danielle to be free from earlier obligations, so we spent time listening to the employees who were hanging out after work. Kind of a cute collection of boys, with a couple of older women. They were apparently more than willing to stop for a drink.

Anyway. Nothing much to say about the Outback, although they were nice and friendly.

After the Outback, we tried to meet up at a place called Dawg Tagz, but it turned out to be hard to find, so we instead met with Danielle and her semi-boyfriend at the 125th St. Grill.

The place was a bit of a roadside dive, not the worst place, but a place with elderly bartenders and elderly furniture to match.

There was much seat rearranging as I tried to avoid the smoke.

There was conversation.

There were drinks that were pretty cheap and were also not too weak, which is a goodish combination.

Danielle picked up her first sponsorship in her long but nebulous association with the quest. Thanks to Danielle for the sponsoring.

And that's about it. By this time, I was starting to feel the booze, so my recollections will get a little vague as I go from here.

The slightly elusive Dawg Tagz turned out to be just up the block and across the street, but the name was painted in red on brown, and was thus pretty much invisible at night. Having driven by it since, I know it shows up fine during the day, but at night, it's almost impossible to see.

Dawg Tagz claims they have happy hour from 8 am to close. Considering they open at 8 am, this would be wonderful. But what it really means is that their drinks are always kind of cheap, so it means nothing at all. Happy hour has to have limits or it's meaningless.

The place was a dive. There was a pool table, a few bored looking regulars, and one of the nifty internet jukeboxes. We got a table and made with the drinking, and the drinks were pretty good, with those special "happy hour" prices, to boot.

There were two guys, both named Ron, who were talkative sorts and managed to talk Brandon and Clarkie into shooting pool with them for Coronas. I thought they were trying to hustle us, but then they weren't good enough to hustle, so I guess it was just a friendly kind of thing. One Ron was actually quite good, but the other was nothing beyond average, so they won, but not by all that much. Meanwhile, we had selected a few songs that the regulars probably don't hear much of, them being an older and country-er kind of crowd, but before we got to hear more than the second song, the pool game was over, and we got out of there, cause we had already been there long enough.

It was kind of fun, and kind of wacky, but not worth a repeat visit.

A Chinese place packed with a karaoke crowd, Mandarin Gate was filled to overflowing, in that they had to overflow us into the dim and pretty much closed restaurant portion, along with several other tables full of patrons.

The drinks were okay, which for a Chinese restaurant means they were weaker than the Chinese restaurant average, but would be fine in the real world. The prices weren't great. The service was very attentive. The karaoke left a bit to be desired, since it was all guys (weird) who had no real skill (not so weird.)

We drank, we said goodbye to Danielle and her friend after attempting and failing another Chinese bar across the street, and we moved on to the third part of our long, long night.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Des Amis is new and I look at it with annoyance since it replaced a fairly nice wine bar (which we would not have had to drink at.) Now it is a Capitol Hill Chic Nightspot that is coated with Red and Hip. Large modern oil paintings hang on the wall and pretty patrons hang around the bar.

The crowd seemed to lean towards the hip hop side of the spectrum and judging from the live music they were playing that is not entirely unexpected. The music was a little more drum and base than white boy house.

The bartender managed to screw up my G&T by accidentally hitting the wrong button. “Sorry, I do that sometimes.” While I was standing there staring at her perky tits I didn’t mind so much, but looking back now, it annoys me.

Des Amis is not very big and can get hot very fast (literally and figuratively). The most notable thing about this place is that when we walked out of it, we passed 3 guys dressed as Lucidores, and one guy dressed as a Ninja. Bizarre.

Des Amis looked nice and the music was pretty good (if too loud.) She screwed up my drink and they were on the pricey side ($5 ish). As such it all evens out to a basic 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

We were pretty drunk. We needed food badly. House of Pizza was our saviour.

They have a smaller portions menu for 4.95. Which was perfect. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

We stumbled into the House of Pizza, which seems like it's more than half bar, even though the bar has only two or three stools, and grabbed a booth in what seemed to be the bar section. We asked if they had food still, because it was half past midnight. Indeed, they still had food, and we were happy.

Beth, our waitress, was very charming and talkative, and we told her about the quest, although I'm sure by this time our story was a bit less than certain. I think it got over pretty clearly, though, because she later emailed me. In any case, we ordered our drinks, we ordered food, and then we met the owner.

Donna, the owner, had just taken over the place in the last few months. She was friendly and just came right over to us even though I don't think it had been mentioned to her that we were anyone in particular. We were just customers, but she liked to talk to the customers. Which is a great sign. She told us, quite accurately as near as my taste buds could tell, that their pasta and sauces were almost all made in the restaurant. We chatted for a while, as we sipped our drinks, which included a devastating concoction that Beth had learned to make in her Idaho days called a Derailer. There was a lot of rum, and it was very large, and we two Jasons didn't let Brandon have more than a sip.

The drinks we got, other than the Derailer, were perfectly fine, and the 1.99 happy hour pricing left us greatly happy. The Derailer was great. The food was excellent, and the garlic bread was nearly perfection. It was a great place to hang out (although their delivery isn't so great...) so you should all stop in during happy hour, 4-6 and 9 to close, and have some drinks, have some pasta, maybe even (as I intend to) try the pizza. It's a good place for whatever you need.

House of Pizza is definitely worth a revisit.

This was the eighth bar of the night, so really, there's not much I remember about it. The bartender's name was Shireen, and she was cute and friendly. They had decent drinks, and I had to drink half of Clarkie's, cause he was pretty much done by the time we got to K&K.

But the best and most important thing about Kangaroo and Kiwi is that it's an Australian/New Zealander bar. As a result, I suppose, they sell candy bars from down under, for 1.50 each. Which seems like a lot, but you can't get these things around here, so Brandon and I didn't complain. In fact, it seemed almost cheap. And they're damn good.

So get yourself to the bar, and buy a candy bar. Have a drink if you must, but have a candy bar for certain.

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

I have been visiting Ballard for almost 3 years and I never even knew this place existed. Located right off of the main drive, there is no big sign announcing its existence. We would not have known it was there if we did not have a sheet telling us that it had to be there.

Walking in, I could tell that this was really a neighborhood dive, rather than specifically a Chinese Food Restaurant Lounge. The clientele (and the bartendress) were all at 40+. The décor was craptacular and had an odd mix of bad Chinese paraphernalia, beer adverts, and an enormous oil painting of a steamboat. Why the painting was there is still beyond me.

The drinks were better than average for $3.25 and were not quite to the low quality high-octane drinks that I have come to expect from Chinese places. Our bartender was very nice but looked at us askew when we said we just there for one.

All in all, it was nice as dives go, but lacks any appeal for the casual bar drinker. This is a regular watering hole and not some place you seek out. The food did come highly recommended from some people we know, so maybe we might get some delivery one of these days. I give it a flat 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

I use the term Lounge loosely. While it is a separate bar area from the restaurant, it is little bigger than my kitchen (which is not a big place.) They have four stools and three, 2 person tables.

You can order food there and watch the game, rather than have a pleasant meal in the dining room. It is really a waiting area for tables in the main restaurant. The bartender is affable without being friendly. Lombardi’s is best known for their roasted garlic and bread which is excellent.

The Red Sox and the Mariners were playing on the tube. Boston is the team of my youth and the Mariners are the team of my circumstance. I am not a big baseball fan (nor am I much of a sports fan in general) to begin with, but I do like to see my teams win. In a contest between the two, Jason says that I am winner either way. I guess that is the case, but I disagree with his logic somewhat. Boston and Seattle don’t figure in my mind equally. Boston is easily the favorite and if the Mariner’s do well, that is just bonus as I like my friends to be happy that their team is winning.

If it were Boston/Seattle in a game that mattered, I will favor Boston every time.

So yet again, the 3rd time is the charm. We finally pick up Lombardi’s and have their acceptable drink for $3.50. Their food is good but it is not the place you come for a few drinks. They have a nice atmosphere and nice staff, but there are no women to look at and the drinks are ok. I guess I will give them an unenthusiastic 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 cause I feel they are better than average, but not much.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Average

It’s Azteca. Nowhere near as good as the one in Northgate, with a dingy feel, but the free chips and salsa are still there. It does not have the great view that the Shilshole one had, or the airy feel of Northgate. Rather it is the blue-collar cousin of the Aztecas.

There is little more to say other than to say than it gets 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

The Firehouse is a music venue, one of a couple in Ballard. They used to be exclusively 21+, but with waning business they built a wall around the bar and opened it up to all ages. The place is run down looking but has lots of space and high ceilings.

The bartender was a nice guy, especially since it was about 6:30 and there was literally no one else in the entire place but us and the staff. He claimed that they usually got a pretty good after work crowd, but not really on a Tuesday.

If you arrive early enough you can skip the door fee. So arrive early, get your drink on, and then stay for the show. Of course, this means that you are spending somewhere in the neighborhood of 5 to 6 hours in the place, just to save about $10. Not such a good deal if you ask me.

The drink was small and priced at about $4. They were of ok strength but I think that was the tiny glass messing with me. I give the Firehouse 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. Oh and the bathroom is up a set up stairs. I hate having to exercise my way to the bathroom.

-wOOt

This was located in the Sunset Bowling Alley, in lovely Ballard. The Sundowner was an all-ages club (although as it turns out that wouldn't have been a problem).

There was karaoke. It featured a very old man who moved so little you might suspect him of being dead except he was croaking out a country song that was new when he was a kid. Eventually, he finished, and it was so quiet and/or lame with the pre-recorded karaoke afterwards that I almost wished he was back at the mic. Almost.

The drinks weren't any good. The place was plenty smoky. The only reason for the bar, as anyone knows, is to get good and liquored up while waiting for your lane to get ready. So don't drink there separately. You'll regret it almost as much as I did.

Type: Hotel
Class: Upscale

When going to Sazerac (the Hotel Monaco bar), make sure you use the bar’s entrance as getting into the bar from the lobby is a little tricky. The lobby is interesting, but Sazerac is much nicer.

Sazerac is exceptionally good looking. There are the requisite ornate hanging lamps. Each stenciled glass hanging lamps, is of a different color and style. On the walls are French newspaper clippings, blown up, and used as wallpaper. I suspect that, that was actually the style of wallpaper, but I have no idea. The wood is polished light pine, and had a red sheen to it. It was very elegant.

Then I noticed the Kenny G playing background. I don’t know if it was the one-handed dork wad or not, but it sure sounded like light Jazz and I hate light Jazz. I enjoy a good romping Jazz piece but the stuff you get on 101.3 (is that even a Seattle station) can kiss my ass.

Their glassware was stylin’ and there are a number of interesting tables and accent pieces that caught my attention. It was an all around attractive looking place. I don’t know if they always play such crap, but if they put on some good music, the atmosphere would be truly great.

The drinks themselves were ok, but they were not worth the $5.50 + tax that I paid. I feel a little bad that I under tipped the bartender, especially after he got me a sheet of paper and lent me a pad, but I have a budget for the evening and Sazerac just busted it.

I give Sazerac at the Hotel Monaco 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Upscale

Tulio’s takes a much different but equally appealing tack from Sazerac. Tulio’s is done up as a high-end French (maybe Italian) restaurant. The entire place is much smaller and much intimate feeling. The tables have white tablecloths and the bartenders are all in uniform. Tulio’s is dark wood and brass with a number of interesting faux (I assume) marble statues. There is some lovely artwork up and around and I seem to remember a violin on a wall, but I am not sure.

Clara picked up the Sponsorship for this, something we appreciate very much. In addition to Clara, Melody had also come out, meeting us at Sazerac and then traveling on with the crew. Scott would hopefully meet up with us later after he got off of work.

There is not much more to say about Tulio’s, other than that it was very nice. Oh, Melody told us this terrible TGIF story, but for the life of me, I have no idea what this note on my scrap actually means. Maybe she can fill in the details, but I doubt it.

I give Tulio’s 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 for their look and feel. The drinks were made with good stuff and priced at over $5 judging by the look on Clara’s face.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Average

City Brews was hot as hell by the bar. We eventually figured out that it was because we were sitting next to the dishwasher, but by then it was too late. We were hot and cranky and desperate to pay. We spent an exorbitant amount of time trying to pay for our $5.50 drinks. Oh, and they were not worth that price.

I thank Melody heartily for her sponsorship for this place. I guess not every sponsorship can be the W (see next review.)

The décor is relatively non-existent in the more typical hotel bar way. The prevalent color is green and it has a vague sports bar feel, but nothing worth noting. They have the same light fixtures as the Fairview Bar and Grill (what a shithole that was.)

Anyhow, Scott met up with us here and we were finally allowed to pay. We then left as soon as possible (which meant that it took us forever.) I give City Brews 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Upscale

If you are young, trendy, and have a lot of money you stay at the W Hotel. If you just want to pretend you do, then you drink here. The bar crowd was a mix of guests and Seattleites, and it wasn’t hard to tell which was which.

We sat down in the restaurant portion (since the bar portion was totally packed.) The booth had fuzzy seats and was incredibly comfy. We picked up the menu and immediately started joking about the prices and the options. They had some very interesting descriptions at some very unappetizing prices.

The W also gets the award for the best looking matches in the city so far. They are black with silver tips in a square case. I don’t they are going to get beat although the half pack from the Bada Lounge did come close in the cool category.

The bathrooms are painted a deep dark blue, which looked very cool next to the sparkling stainless steel sinks. Man, I notice some of the weirdest things.

Jennifer, our waitress, informed us that we were in happy hour, so our drinks would only be $5. God, a $5 happy hour. That makes me nauseous just thinking about it. I have this note in here that Jennifer seemed nervous for some reason. I really wish I would elaborate more in my notes sometimes.

There was a moment when Scott offered to walk Melody to the bathroom that we all looked at each other and got this feeling that they were disappearing for a quickie. When Scott re-appeared not 10 seconds later we all just looked at each with chagrin and moved on. It was funny to us.

I really like the W and while the drinks were good they were not $5 happy hour good. It was one of the better looking places we have been to though and I would happily go back if someone else was paying. Speaking of which, a big shout out to Scott and Melody who picked up yet another sponsorship.

I give the W Hotel 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Midscale

Located in the basement of the West Coast Grand Hotel, it is the semi-official bar of the hotel, without being the hotel bar (they have their own, the Terrace Room.)

From the outside, the Elephant and Castle looks kind of interesting. There is multi-level outside seating which descends below the hotel. Having small islands of patrons on the various platforms gives makes the place feel swimming.

Descending into the E&C, we were then greeted by a very homey feeling Irish Pub. All of the furniture is upholstered in an interesting elephant pattern and all of the wood is dark and smoke stained. Folksy rock played in the background and the Mariner’s/Boston game was on the TV. There is lots of space and the seating is spacious. A pair of pool tables are set on their own little landing back by the bathrooms.

Our sporty blonde bartender came up and took our drink orders. Later on, she would become quite impressed with our quest. Oh, I did notice that she had a cute ankle tattoo, but god only knows what it was of.

The E&C has both an excellent beer selection and an excellent Scotch selection (not that I really drink much Scotch.) The drink Nicole poured was large and strong. Jason the “surfing”, not on duty, bartender was very excited to here about the quest. He even suggested that she should comp us, which she did. WooT to us. The E&C also has their happy hour from 3-7 and from 10 – close. I love a good happy hour.

All in all, the drinks were excellent, the place is spacious and nice, and if you like pool, it should be easy to get the room to yourself on an off night. I give the E&C 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Midscale

From 4:30 to 6:30 M-F the Terrace Room has a free taco bar with a drink purchase as well as half price apps. Now if that is not enough of lure, they also have the single nicest terrace I have ever seen. The Cloud Room will always hold a special place in my heart, but this terrace was just gorgeous.

The Terrace Room is one half spacious bar (nicely appointed) and one half spacious terrace. The terrace is on about the 4th floor and overlooks 4th avenue (although it might be 3rd). You can see the corner of the Bon Marche’ (where they put the star) and the square right next to it (the one where they have all of the rally’s.) You are just high enough that it feels special, but not so high that you are completely disconnected from the street below. The only thing marring the view is the ugly Office Depot across the street with their large red veranda and a red carpet. It would not be quite such an eyesore if not for the huge red Office Dept sign above them.

Above the Terrace Room is the hotel itself. When we were there most of the windows were dark. On each floor, several windows were lit and I started to wonder how many of them told a story worth hearing. Were they all just businessmen or were there some clandestine meetings going on? I secretly hope that there is a lot of naughtiness going on up there but I know the reality is just not that interesting. Side Note – a room costs about $200 a night, which is about what I expected.

I also decided that if I could have any Super Power, it would be that wherever I went, it would always be happy hour. There is just something cool about Happy Hour (when it is done right.) That way I could walk into any place and there would always be people having fun, buying reduced price drinks, and ordering lots of food. Its not a greed thing, it is just that Happy Hour always seems like more fun.

As with Restaurant Zoe, I feel it my duty to point out trouble that you can get yourself into, if you want to. At the edge of the Terrace Room is a small lip and the you can hop over to another portion of the Hotel’s roof. It does not look safe and it does not look comfortable, but it would be entirely possible to hop over there for some stealth nookie.

The drink was tall and tasty, but I figure that the $6 we paid was actually cover for the view, rather than for the booze. Now if I could combine this view with the 727, all would be made perfect. I give the Terrace Room 4 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Szmania’s is the most upscale drinking establishment in Magnolia. It is light and airy, painted in pale yellows and appointed with interesting Americana touches. The hanging white gauze curtains are attractive without being overstated, but the rocking rabbit was a little bizzare.

When Jason, Wolf, and I sat at the 4 person bar, we got the strangest look from the “bartender.” She did not quite know what to make of us. I guess no one sits at the bar as Szmania’s is really just a dining establishment. They did have a little waiting “lounge” which consisted of 3 comfy chairs surrounding a small glass table. After we got our drinks we sat there.

Wolf picked up another high end sponsorship (but it would get better.) Our drinks were all specialty and were excellent (and priced at about $6 or $7.)

Carol our bartender was very nice and even said that, “People don’t just come to Magnolia.” Were we here for a wedding, or were we visiting friends? Instead we told her about our quest and she apologized that their regular bartender was not here and that she had not been behind a bar in about 7 years. No problem. The drinks were excellent.

The owner is from Düsseldorf and the food is based on his personal heritage and training. A long eating bar sits in front of the open air kitchen. It is quite attractive and the food looked and smelled excellent. I would totally eat here if I was in Magnolia for a wedding or visiting friends.

I give Szmania’s 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Trying to find Palisades was an expedition all its own. We drove around the outer edge of Magnolia trying to find it. We knew it was on the waterfront, but we didn’t quite know where. Located on Elliott Bay’s north end you need to go to Interbay and then turn towards Magnolia and the Fisherman’s terminal. Then you have turn yourself around 3 times, close your eyes, and trust in the blue fairy. After all of that you will magically find yourself in a small annex with nothing here but the Palisades. Despite all of this wackiness it is totally and absolutely worth it.

The Palisades is just awesome. Looking around the parking lot you can tell by the cars that this is a nice place. We had no idea though. The restaurant has high wooden beamed ceilings dotted with works of blown glass by a local artist (one Martin Blanc.) There is a live pond filled with Coy and plant life. The bar stretches around the edge of the restaurant in a beautiful sweeping curve. We sat at small tables off to one side, while people ordered the 3 Tiered Captain’s Appetizer Platter.

It took a little while for a waitress to come over, but they were packed and we were just here for drinks (we hadn’t checked in with the front desk. The menu is filled with amazing sounding drinks, but most importantly they had two drinks: The Vanilla Sky Martini and the Scorpion Bowl. Anyone from the east coast (specifically the northeast) who has drunk at a Chinese Restaurant knows about Scorpion Bowls. They are sweet and fruity and very alcoholic. I get heady just remembering some of the nights we drank Scorpion Bowls. To give you an idea, What Dreams May Come was actually palpable while drunk on them. The Palisade’s Scorpion Bowl was too acidic. I don’t know quite know what was wrong with it, but it wasn’t quite right.

The real winner of the night was the Vanilla Sky Martini and it was Wolf, our magnificent sponsor, who ordered it. The restaurant group that owns Palisades (as well as Cutter’s and The Palomino) had a best new drink contest and this won it. It is incredible. It is blue and tastes of Vanilla and heaven. I could tell you the recipe, but until we figure out the proportions there is no point. Now does anyone know how to make fresh Lemon Sour Mash (or is Lime Sour Mash)?

Perched over the bar is a player piano that produces some very lovely tunes. We did not even realize that there was no piano player until the waitress pointed it out to us. Opposite from the bar is the view of the Seattle and Elliott Bay. The view is so incredible, the food would not even need to be good for me to eat here. Watching the food go buy (and looking at the very high prices) I don’t think there is any chance the food will let you down.

The Palisades was quite excellent, but it was not perfect. The crowd was much older, it was extremely hard to find and get to, and the prices were steep (wells at least $5.) I do recommend coming to check out the view, but there are easier places to get the Vanilla Sky Martin. I give Palisade’s 4 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

I still can’t decide whether to call Jalisco’s a Denny’s classification or not. There are 6 of them in the city (5 of which we have to go to,) so technically they are a chain. At least they are a local chain, I suppose that makes them less a Denny’s than say Azteca, but I’m still unsure.

Anyhow, this Jalisco’s is located across the street from Tini Bigs and was quite jumping when we got there. They had a small dingy bar, a Karaoke machine (with people singing), small worn tables, and … a bridal party. I think I am getting tired of Hen’s nights. They always expect the boys around them to fawn all over the bride cause some guy is taking her out of circulation. Good for them, but leave me out of it. They are more trouble than they are worth. Sean seems to get along with them great, but that is just the kind of guy he is.

Anyhow, we had our average drinks, ate our free chips, and headed out. There were some wacky bits, but I am going to write up a journal entry for the night, I swear. I give Jalisco’s 3 Martin Glasses out of 5 for their young, pretty crowd, good party atmosphere, and free chips. I don’t like Karaoke, but I won’t hold it against them … much.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Upscale

Benihana has large Buddha Glasses. I love these guys. They just look so cheerful, especially when they are sprouting a number of paper umbrellas. Anyhow, this non-smoking lounge is really just a stopping point for the restaurant. We were given questioning looks when we said that we were not here to eat, and had come in FOR the bar.

Andy, our bartender, was a hell of guy; very friendly, chatty, and mixed a good drink. He was tall and had a big bushy chin beard. I used to have one of those, but despite the fact that it looked terrible, I kept it for years. I guess that is about par for the course when you are in college, isn’t it.

They have a $14 all you can eat sushi bar and terrible lounge muzak. We told Andy about our quest and he really dug it. We chatted about a number of things and we generally had a really good time.

The drink was strong and priced at about $4. This was before Andy comped us the drinks so we know that he pours a good drink. If you are in the area, you should pop in and give Andy some business.

Strange side fact. Melody, of Claudio’s fame, used to work at Benihana. But she said that they have a terrible turnover rate, since the tips are so poor. No one just goes to the bar, the drinks are put on the server’s bill and not paid for separately. Thus the bartender gets some small fixed percentage rather than a good tip. Not fair I say.

I liked Benihana quite a bit, despite its questionable muzak. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5, for strong drinks, a comfy setting, and a friendly, chatty, bartender.

-wOOt

Type: Denny’s
Class: Midscale

The Rock Bottom is a national chain that usually has only one per city. They have lots of space, lots of games, and brew their own beer. Glen particularly likes their cask-conditioned stouts and I have to say they are not bad. Their appetizers are quite good, although Jason and I did not have any during our visit.

There is a large screen TV for sports, 2 pool tables, plenty of outdoor seating and a long bar (with the giant beer vats visible behind it.) The only downside of our visit were the drinks. They were $4.75 and of average strength (so not worth $.4.75). Our bartender was this stocky weight-lifter looking fella who was not at all attentive. I don’t think we were hot enough women for him.

They were playing rock in the background and the Boston/Seattle series was still going on and once again I was a winner.

I recommend the Rock Bottom for beer, appetizers, and attractive sporty/university women. I don’t know if it is much of a pick up place, but at least you can have some Titan Toothpicks while you are there.

I give the Rock Bottom 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. I might actually be rating the one that I spent so much time at in Milwaukee, but I don’t think so.

-wOOt

Tonight Jason, Wolf, and I decided to hit the last two bars in Magnolia. Szmania’s went quickly and rather uninterestingly, all things considered. The drink was fine, the place was nice, but did anything wacky happen? No.

We then went to the Palisades, an incredible place where we were introduced to the Vanilla Sky Martini. The main problem though was finding it. We started on the North End of Magnolia and had no idea where the Palisades actually was. We started at a dock area by the south side of the Ballard Locks and then drove around the outer edge of Magnolia until eventually, we hit the bridge that lead back to Interbay. Our trip took us by (through?) the army base and Jason told us about the Italian Prisoner of war who was lynched because people were jealous that a prisoner of war was allowed to walk around town. Anyhow, we hit Interbay and finally figured out that we had to take the Fisherman’s Wharf exit of the Interbay Bridge (no I don’t knows its proper name) and finally wind our way back to where it was. It was worth it, but damn.

We then decided to pick up a 3rd of the evening. While driving over to Jalisco’s in Queen Anne, we heard Bohemian Rhapsody on the radio. This song was the reason I once grew my hair long. You just look silly head banging with no hair.

As were passing the 91.3 offices we decided to put it on. I guess they are a classical station and not too bad. Turning the channel to 91.3 we hear them talking about the music from Battlestar Gallatica. Now we are all Sci-Fi geeks at heart so this is both bizarre, cool, and totally dumb. Just odd if you ask me.

We get into Jalisco’s but can’t sit in the bar (where there is Karoke) because it is full up with a bachelorette party and other assorted peoples. Not two songs go by before wham, the Karokee girl is singing the theme from Battlestar Galatica. No, I’m kidding, but she was singing Bohemian Rhapsody. I hadn’t heard this song in over 2 years and now I heard twice in one night. Very bizarre.

There was also We are the Champions Karokee. And you know what. We are the Champion of the World.

-wOOt

Hey All,

I am pleased to announce that the time has finally come. The 570 Bars crew is going to brave Pioneer Square Joint Cover Clubs (8 in all) for a night of drunken debauchery. We will harass women in short skirts, get in fights with guys wearing Rugby Shirts from Old Navy (who are also wearing their hats backward), and maybe even have a good time.

We understand if you don't drink at all 8 with us, but the trip should be fun. We also recommend that you cab (or bus) on down, as I plan to be way to drunk to drive and I hope you all will be too.

The big feature of this night is that we will be going with Scott and Melody (who some of you may know) as the amazing sponsors from the Night of Dives. They still have some juice in Pioneer Square and we plan to squeeze them dry (in a good way, I swear.)

We will meet in front of the Totem Pole in Pioneer Square at 9 PM sharp. If you don't know what we look like, check out the about page. We hope to see all of you there.

Also if you are definitely going to show, drop me a line at brandon@570bars.com to let me know, and we will keep an eye out for you.

-wOOt

Il Fornaio has the best management. I know this from just one encounter, and not a very long one.

We arrived, just Brandon and me, and sat at the bar of this very stylish place. A lot of coppery tones, an elegant look, and a very spacious restaurant area all make the eating area very attractive, in addition to the fact that there are various food products on display here and there, bread and pasta and such, to whet the appetite.

The bar wasn't so very large, and just before we sat down, an older man sat at the very end of the bar. The bartender walked to him and set down a bar napkin, asked him what he wanted (just a Diet Coke) and then set down napkins in front of us but didn't ask. He went ahead and got the Diet Coke, filled a drink order from the restaurant, and then wandered off.

Literally. Just left.

I don't know where he went, and I don't know why, because he didn't say anything. He just left. So here we are with our bar napkins already in place, and no drinks even close to coming.

Then a worker type approaches the little order machine at the end of the bar, glances over at us, and immediately asks, "Have you been helped?" And not just in the, I'll get somebody, way, but as if it mattered. When we said, a bit disgruntled, that we hadn't, he immediately moved to the far end of the bar, took our drink orders and made them up at once. He had a passing busser get us bread, he had our drinks in front of us in seconds, and he gave us menus when we expressed interest. As he was finishing up, the bartender returned from wherever he had been and the manager called out our drinks to him before, asking if everything was alright, he departed. He only returned briefly, a few minutes later, to say the kitchen was about to close, and did we want anything? Which was perfect, making sure we didn't get overlooked again. It's too bad you don't tip managers.

The bread was excellent, four types, little bread sticks and rosemary bread and olive rolls and another type I was uncertain about but it was still good. Some sort of cheese bread-like thing. The drinks were good, too. The prices could have been better, but since we got to tip next to nothing because the bartender sucked, and as noted, you don't tip managers, it was a great price really.

And so I can recommend Il Fornaio for the bread, for the look, and mostly for the superb quality of management.

It's in the mall, and there's nothing much to say about the bar itself. The drinks sucked ass, they don't have their own restrooms cause they "share with the mall" (although Desert Fire next door has their own), and there was far too much smoke for such an open bar area.

The only notable thing was that our bartender was pregnant, about seven months along I'd guess, and that she was looking for naming advice (a theme of the night, as it would turn out). Her last name being Berry, she couldn't use all sorts of names – Lawrence, Gerald, Terrence, Logan, etc. I didn't have much to offer, because I don’t think Berry is a very good last name anyway. But she still has eight weeks to think of a boy's name, so she should be fine, right?

Anyway, the main point is that their drinks suck ass. I'm convinced the unborn Baby Berry boy could probably get more vodka in his bottle than I got in my drink. So don't go to Gordon Biersch.

The last of our trifecta of "mall" bars for the night, Cheesecake factory surprised me. First off, inside it was gorgeous. Oh, at ground level it was a festive, commercial establishment, filled with far too many people. But above. Oh, whoever designed the place obviously had no idea what was ended up inside. It looked like an Italian palazzo, a gorgeous sunny sand colored edifice with pillars and high ceilings and elegant lights. It's beautiful, and if it wasn't the Cheesecake Factory, I'd want to live there.

Secondly, the bartender, Mitzi, recommended we try the Dutch Apple cheesecake, after a first rec for what would surely have been my favorite, Dulce de Leche Caramel, which was out. We were a little hesitant, because who thinks of Dutch Apple for cheesecake, but it was excellent.

Mitzi was also pregnant, and also looking for names. Her last name was Right, possibly with a "W" but perhaps not, so I suggested Dexter, which is funny, but I'm not going to say why. Brandon suggested the earlier forbidden Logan, and she seemed to like it. Of course, Mitzi has no idea whether it's going to be a boy or a girl, because she's only three months along and doesn't want to know in any case, so our boy name help might have been wasted.

The drinks were fine, a bit expensive, but it's a tourist place, and at least the pours matched.

Go for the interior and for the cheesecake, and have a drink anyway while you're there.

Las Margaritas was to be the first of the two bars of the night, only two because we were so very close to bar 200, which was planned.

That looks funny. Bar 200. What a big round number.

Anyway, we had stopped in to say Hi to Ethan and Joe at Elliott's, so we were in the area to pick up Typhoon, which was the plan, and we just stopped in at Las Margaritas because it was there. It was a nice enough sort of Mexican place, although the restaurant bit was closed. We sat, we drank, we watched a little of whatever game was on the TV. Or was it wrestling? So hard to keep these nights all in order.

The drinks were pretty good, but I already had a couple in me from the first stop, so I didn't much care, it was just filler.

Wolf picked up the sponsorship, since he realized a little while ago that others might be closing in on him, others who actually put in the time and effort. That's for Glen, of course, who is, in every way, in a category of his own. Thanks to Wolf for sponsoring.

Typhoon is a Thai restaurant and bar, and apparently a favorite with a lot of the bartenders in the region. Ethan told us to ask for Libor, and indeed, he was there, but was a bit suspicious of why we would be asking for him. He had nothing to worry about, it was just Ethan's rec, and we were glad to have him.

We thought for a minute before ordering, and then Wolf noticed the tall blue bottle. The most succulent of all the Tequilas. Yes, the blessed Porfidio, making a special appearance on the quest, and you bet your ass we ordered shots then and there.

I had forgotten the goodness of Porfidio. Not forgotten, I guess, not exactly. I still knew it. But it was more than I remembered. It's been too long since I had a shot. If you've never had it, and you can stand tequila, get yourself to Typhoon and have a shot.

But after that, we thought maybe one more shot. But then I noticed a familiar bottle of my own. The bottle shown to us at Waterfront, the bottle of Pyrate's Reserve – Planter's Gold. We asked how much it was a shot. It was "less than the Porfidio – yeah – 10 bucks." Wolf said sure, and since he was paying, we went along with him. No way was I turning down a shot of this stuff.

And such a shot it was. Sips are one thing. This shot was something completely different. We lingered over them for pretty much a half hour, noting the nuances of flavor, savoring each drop. It was some terribly good shit.

We ran into Jesus from Elliott's, who had gotten off while we were at Las Margaritas. He came over to say hi, then went to hang with his girl and her friend.

The place itself is very simple, very basic, very attractive in the restaurant portion. The bar, on the other hand, was crowded, smoky and very friendly, even though I didn't know pretty much anyone in that big crowd.

Libor gave me the shot of Porfidio because it was one week til my birthday, so he called it a birthday drink. This was very cool of him, because they turn out to be 15 dollars.

For the rest, Wolf picked up the biggest single sponsorship yet. Much love to my bro.

We had a great night at Bar 200.

We were joined over the evening by Wolf, Brad and Marie, Mel, Mindy and Jesse, Jim, Sean P, Annie, and Ethan from Elliott's with his girlfriend Andrea. I was really glad he came out, because while it's fun to see him at his bar, it's always better to drink with a guy.

And it was.

We drank a lot, the group of us, and we talked a lot about bars and drinks we liked. We had Red Headed Sluts. I had a Mandarin and Tonic and discovered that those two flavors don't mix for me.

Bit by bit, people had to leave, of course, because the next day was a work day for most people. Brandon eventually left to fly to Milwaukee, and then it was pretty much just me and Wolf, and Ethan and Andrea, and we just sat and drank and talked for a while longer.

Turns out (and no shock) that Ethan's a great guy outside his work, too. Andrea was totally cool, as well.

Thanks to everyone who came out. We were really happy to see all of you, and we hope you'll come out with us again.

We had a great time, and a great 200. Only 370 or thereabouts to go.

Wolf picked up The Garage, bar 200.

(For the record, it's a converted garage, with a lot of pool tables, a small bar, and a small dining area with no smoking. And that's the Garage, or all I care about it. The drinks are good, the prices I'm not sure about, cause we drank a lot of drinks over a lot of a while, so who can say?)

Brandon flew back in Monday evening, and I thought we should hit a bar. So, at about 11, we set out for the new Des Amis Lounge, where once Chrissa's Wine Bar briefly stood just 10 months ago.

The place had a DJ spinning hip hop in the tiny space, and it was definitely a mixed crowd. The hip hop types were present, but so were a few very much Capitol Hill locals, and of course Brandon and me. Still, it's not really my scene, even if it appeared to be everyone's scene, so I didn't really feel like hanging out.

And anyway, Brandon was tired, I wasn't so fresh myself, so we just had our one drink each, of the not so great in either strength or price type, and we moved on.

I should note it wasn't bad inside. Interesting furnishings, paintings, etc. but nothing to really draw you back.

A little hidden dive of a Chinese restaurant bar in Ballard, it formed the first of our four Ballard cleanup bars in one night.

Golden City doesn't even look like a Chinese restaurant bar. It's got steamboat paintings on the wall, and there's only one Chinese guy in the place, who just passed through dropping of some drink glasses before returning, one presumes, to the almost completely separate restaurant. Other than that, it's middle aged and older Ballard types, including one truly huge individual whose gender I was uncertain about, but I would say male if forced to choose.

The drinks were pretty good, and pretty cheap, both of which come standard with Chinese bars, so there was no real flaw here. I think they were a little weaker than Chinese bar standards, but then, they were rather different from a standard Chinese bar, so no shock there.

There’s nothing much more to report. The bartender said their food was really good there, and that she ate there all the time before she got her job, so she's not just saying that. Of course, she could just be saying that, too.

One of our many white whales. Lombardi's has foiled us time and again, ever since I once foolishly said we should just not get it while we were having lunch, cause it was such an easy pick up for later.

The place really showed me how wrong I was.

But finally, we got in pretty damn early (the sun was still up) and sat in the little bar.

We ordered drinks, which pretty large but not much stronger than a small one, and got bread. Lombardi's has tasty bread, not bad in itself, but they serve it with roasted garlic cloves, so you spread garlic all over it. Which is a good thing.

The decor is light and airy, with everything painted with vines and flowers, walls and tables, too. There's a sense of openness to the restaurant, although the bar seems almost separate, when in reality, it's not all that way.

Glen picked up the sponsorship on this one, and surprise Glen, it's a good place. I know you were getting tired of us always assigning you the dives. But remember, it's all Brandon's fault.

Not to be confused with the lost and missed (especially in the summer, as now) Shilshole Azteca, the Ballard Azteca is located in downtown Ballard, completely enclosed in a building such that it has only a couple windows. It's almost like it was underground. Which suits the bar well enough, because it's dim like it should be.

There were free chips and salsa to be had, and that was a good thing. There were drinks of reasonable quality and reasonably cheap prices. There was a guy who asked for a Canadian beer, which required the manager to come to say that no, they didn't have it, cause the bartender didn't speak enough English to know for sure.

And that was this Azteca.

When it comes to crappy places you're almost embarrassed to have your band play at, the Firehouse just about tops the list. In recent months, they've decided to start have 18-and-over nights, which meant we were tricked into not going in once, but we could have after all. Cause they've remodeled, too, separating the bar from the main stage/performance area.

When we went in, there was no one there. Okay, one couple, but they left as we sat down. This big empty area, really a converted firehouse, with tables and a stage and half-height wall (still almost ten feet in the cavernous chamber) to keep the non-existent kiddies away from the bar, and just us in it.

The bartender was bored. So were we. His name was Marvin, he hadn't been there long, and he said Thursday was a much better night than Tuesday, when we were out. Not that we'll find out, cause there's nothing to it.

Go see your friend's band if they play there. They'll need the cheering up.

The drinks weren't strong, but they weren't cheap either, so that evens out. No, wait. That's right. They just weren't a very good bar. I won't be back until Flock of Seagulls next reunion tour. And yes, they did play there on their last reunion tour.

Looking over the site, I've figured out why Brandon puts his reviews up for the day after the bar visit, rather than the day he actually writes it. Oh, he can protest it's cause he wants an accurate chronology (and that's a valid idea, too.) But the real reason is that he wants to look better than me.

I'm looking, and I'm seeing his reviews for the Night of Eight, with my reviews for twenty bars before just after them. And I'm realizing it makes me look like some kind of king of slack, or rather, makes Brandon look just about perfect.

Which is funny. Cause he only overtakes me about once a month, for a couple of days, before falling behind. But it looks good on paper.

I'm on to you Amancio. And now the world knows...

(The preceding is true, yet also meant to be humorous. At least to the half dozen people who read regularly enough to have a clue why it might be funny.)

There's a guy. He works, we're told, for a distribution company. He comes out and looks at your bar, after you've signed up with them, and he sees your drink specials. He sees the colors of your bar. And a bit later, a chalkboard shows up with a few specialty drinks listed on it, beautifully designed and put together.

He's an artist, this guy. And it's free to the bars, because the distributor pays for him.

We see his stuff all over. He's at Elliott's. He's at the Crowne Plaza Hotel. He's at the friggin' Acorn of all the fucked-up places. People even try to imitate him, but never with the same style.

We must meet this guy. I'm sure (or at least I'm afraid that) there's nothing remarkable about him at all. He's fat and boring and old and stupid, or something like that. All we know about him is that he's a guy. He could be someone we know, even.

We're looking for the chalkboard guy, though. We're looking, and we will find him.

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Dive

The name is not the only thing green about the Greenlake Grill. From what we could tell, they had only had their liquor license for about a week. The booze was stacked on a shelf that was up and over everything else. It looked to be a recent addition. They ran out of ice just about when we ordered our drinks and the bartender sent one of her lackeys over to the local store to buy some more. I believe the phrase she uttered was, “That’s the next thing we need to get.” Meaning they needed an ice maker.

The bar was quiet and working class. In the back corner was a shelf with lots of books and everyone here seemed to be reading. There were several older guys reading books and a couple of guys reading papers at the bar. The bartender was a friendly 30s Asian American woman. A guy came in who she hadn’t seen in a while and they talked in the way that regulars and bartenders talk.

The place was kind of dingy, with a Golden Tee, a pool table, and not much else. This is definitely a local watering hole that focuses on beer, but is trying to learn about liquor. There was nothing particular wrong with the Greenlake Grill, but it was nothing special either. I give them 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

McCoy’s is located off of Pioneer Square across from the Catwalk and the Last Supper Club. It is one of those innocuous local watering holes that gets its share of regulars and collects the run off from the local nightspots. Sporting a fireman theme I wonder if they got a pickup in business due to the outpouring of firefighter support in the last year. On the exposed brick walls is an assortment of firefighting gear and equipment. It is all old and weathered and has probably been there a while.

The crowd was a mixture of urban hip and crusty blue collar but they seemed to acknowledge each other and be fine with it. The mix of 70’s rock and modern rock seemed to blend well and catered to both groups nicely. The busty, leggy, blonde behind the counter was equally friendly with the pink hairs and the grays. She was quick, efficient, and affable. Everything I love in a bartender.

The drink was a good size and tasted pretty good. Priced at $3.50, this is definitely a Pioneer Square pre-funk place before going to the Last Supper Club or the Catwalk. I enjoyed my time here and would stop in again, but not for more than 2. I give McCoy’s 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

For a random stop on the way home from Pioneer Square, Brasa was an exquisite if expensive stop. The bar is painted in a solid dark rust color with dark grey and light pine accents. The bar is a huge copper affair with padded seats and a padded base bar. There are a number of interesting hexagonal metal lamps hanging around the place, but the most interesting feature were the curtains. There is something about having curtains in a restaurant that I love. It adds a sense of mystery and danger to the atmosphere. What could be important enough that it needs to be hidden? Unfortunately the curtains only block off a series of upstairs tables and do not actually provide any privacy. Oh well.

The drinks were good and bigger than average, but they were not $6 good. Our bartender, who almost took the title of shortest bartender, was affable but not very attentive (even with only 3 customers.) I know that we were in there late and that we were only having one drink, but we were often forgotten in their cleaning up. I suppose that is par for the course since I did it too when I worked for Baskin & Robbins. Still, I’d like to believe that we matter a little bit.

A big thanks goes out of Glen for his sponsorship of Brasa. I give Brasa a flat 2 and a half Martini glasses out of 5 for its nice atmosphere and ok drinks, even if they were about a dollar too expensive. Oh, the menu looked really nice as well, but who knows.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

This bar is to sum up a; plain, sad, little lounge for the locals. The bar is located at the far end of the restaurant. Walking through the emptiness, we were not even sure they were open. A long lonely diner counter sits quietly waiting for the morning when it will come alive, but now, it just waits for the night to pass.

In the anteroom to the lounge is a small reading room with about 40 paperbacks, a rocking chair, and a Honey Bear picnic. I’m serious. Someone painted up about 8 Honey Bears in little dresses and little suits, and set them up at a picnic. It was just creepy.

They have a square bar, simple faux wood tables, a big screen TV, a dart machine, and a pretty good jukebox. I am ashamed to say, but I mistook the dart machine (which I saw from the side) for one of those Internet jukeboxes. Oh well. Jason thought it was pretty fucking funny though.

Mel came out with us for the first time and also picked up her first Sponsorship. I hope she will be coming out with us more often as she is great fun.

The bartender was an older woman who played the bar video game when things got slow. The drink was $3 and I can remember absolutely nothing about it. I was paying more attention to Mel than I was the drink. I give Greenwood Cheers 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

Mr. Bill’s is a 50’s style diner with all of the kitsch and class that you would expect from a quality place. One of the most notable things about Mr. Bill’s is the size of their menus. Now I don’t mean their selection (which is also excellent) but physically the size of their menus. They are just enormous, being bigger than an average size table. They have lots of diner food and some of the best omelette’s in town. The walls are decorated with tons of 50’s pictures and paraphernalia and the tables have the 50’s swoop pattern (you probably know the one.)

The lounge has a mixture of “Heroes of our Youth” and inflatable beer ads. There are Art Deco sugar tubes and we thought they were totally tubular. The booths are enormous and comfy. The bar is lit from the back and is made up of those semi-transparent glass cubes.

Mel was with us for another one and she also picked up her second sponsorship. We all ordered our drinks and a plate of nachos. The nachos were good but not Sunset good. Of course nothing will ever be Sunset good, of that I am sure. Our drinks were $2.50 and tasty.

Mr. Bill’s is also a place out of history for me. The night of my first drink here two things happened: 1) My girlfriend and I decided to break up 2) I saw Requiem for a Dream. If you have seen RfD then you know why this is a problem, if not, well, I can’t really say much about the movie other than the following things: A) When it says Winter on the screen, turn it off and pretend they live happily ever after. B) You see Jennifer Connolly naked and this is not a good thing. C) Don’t ever accidentally go and see it because you heard good things about it, when what you were really in the mood for was Charlie’s Angels. So having said that, I met up with Jason, “the Bleeder”, and several other friends. I walked in with a blank look of discomfort and couldn’t speak. I ordered a cup of coffee and a shot of Whiskey. I lit a cigarette and just waited. After the Whiskey came I shot it. Finally, I was able to speak coherently about my night. They finally understood. Needless to say, I will never forget my first drink at Mr. Bill’s.

Not holding my history against it (it wasn’t their fault, unlike at the Atlas Grill) I give them 4 Martini Glasses out of 5 for their good cheap drinks and kick ass menu. Oh, our waitress/bartender was friendly too.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Upscale

When we convinced Mel to take us out for a sponsorship, it was Morton’s Steakhouse of Chicago that she called dibs on. She said it was a really nice place and that we would love it. I have to say, that it was a very nice place, but you need to experience it right in order to love it (and we did not.)

Morton’s is a very traditional steak house with a Sinatra feel. Located in the basement, the first thing you see are the personal wine cabinets of the patrons who love Morton’s. Mel once dated a guy who had his own wine cabinet. All I can say is, damn. Everything is very nice, with green beveled glass and dark polished wood. On our table was a pewter pig candleholder, which was interesting but tacky.

I can only salivate at the description Mel gave us of the food here. I believe the low-end steaks start at $30 and go up from there. We were there for drinks and Mel’s sponsorship (and 2nd night out with us) was much appreciated.

We were alone in the bar except for one couple that was sitting at the bar. The girl had her legs across his and he they were making goo goo eyes. They were so cute. Cute annoys me to no end when I am single, and riles me only a little less when I am not. I wish people would have some decorum, but maybe that is just jealousy speaking.

We talked about John Krakauer and David Sedaris. Mel ordered a 15 year Lephrog and we got $6.75 well drinks (I believe mine was Bombay.)

I liked Morton’s but this is not in anyways a jumping nightspot. I would not even take someone here for a high priced drink to impress them. There are much trendy places to take someone to impress them (see Waterfront, 727, or the W Hotel.) If you are looking for a place no one would ever run into you (unless they were eating with their wealthy grandparents) then this is the placed for you. I give Morton’s 3 Martini Glasses out of 5 despite the fact that their logo was absolutely everywhere (including on the heavy duty paper/cloth hybrid towels in the bathroom.)

-wOOt

Type: Hotel
Class: Midscale

The bar area of the Sheraton is not one of Seattle’s trendiest or more interesting, but it was quite comfy. The bar is a central island and we sat at the western edge in regular seats that were the perfect height for slouching at the bar. It also had the advantage of being in a smoke dead zone. This prevented us from smelling the cigar smoke coming from both the right of us and directly behind us.

The glasses were big and drinks were strong. Priced at $6.50 and poured like a double. I don’t mind a pricey drink as long as I feel I am getting my money’s worth.

Our bartender, Ani, kept looking at my notepad. It was very cute. I am sure that she did not know what to make of it. I imagine that if you are an actual reviewer, you keep it on the down low in order to not effect your experience. We don’t have that problem.

I made the mistake of sitting in between Jason and Mel. During the course of the evening (especially here) Jason kept over talking me. God I hate that. I don’t think he does it on purpose or even notices that he is doing it, but it is occasionally a problem when we are out with a non-regular.

Over to the side, there was a women smoking a cigar who had the tiniest purse I have seen. The little red purse said, “I am not paying for anything.” It probably held her ID, her lipstick, a key, and $20 emergency cab fare. Personally I think that the purse is actually like a clown car and that she would pull a Thanksgiving Day turkey out of it, should the need arise.

The Sheraton was comfortable and nice, but there was very little eye candy, and very little going on. I give a comfy 3 Martini Glasses out of 5. Oh, they also had a place called Schooner’s, which wasn’t open, and we didn’t go anywhere near.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Located in the City Center mall it rests on the third floor and is the only thing open after 9:00 PM. Jason fortunately remembered that we knew people who knew people who worked here. We would try to capitalize on that.

The Palomino restaurant is good looking. Dried vegetables hang by the kitchen, the bar is a long curved affair, the lighting fixtures were blown glass and behind the bar was a jar full of fresh raspberries in liquid (for one their drinks.) The bar area was fairly busy for 11:00 PM on a Thursday in a mall.

We all ordered Vanilla Sky Martinis, the best drink in the world. It turns out that Cutter’s, Palisades, and Palomino are all owned by the same people who, incidentally, “own” the Vanilla Sky Martini.

We talked with Greg the bartender who turned out to be Ethan’s mentor (from Elliott’s.) He also knows Kara (Cutter’s) and Dustin (Axis.) We named dropped like mo’fos but when it was all said and done we paid full price. Oh well, I guess we can’t be winner’s every time.

The $7 we paid for the Martinis was well worth it and the food was excellent. Greg is a great bartender and incredibly friendly. Despite being in a mall and having very intimidating advertisements, I was impressed. I give Palomino 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

I own a Saturn. I like my 3-door coup (How did you trick out the door?) Up till now, my service agreement has been great. I paid about $650 up front and then when I drive it up every 3000 miles they tune it. But now, I am nearing the end of the agreement (36,000) and if I go even 1 mile over (36,001) they don’t (and won’t) have to give me my 36,000 mile tune up. This would not be a big deal if it were just a $20 oil change (they have dicked me on one those as well, see below) but rather it is more like a $250 tune up.

So I miscalculated slightly and realized that I had to stop driving my car (me being 80 miles out from 36K) in order to not go over before their first available appointment. The reason I am ranting so much about this, is two fold: The first and foremost, is that I paid for X number of tune-ups. Those tune-ups were all accounted for in the purchase price and each tune-up I miss or am denied is money in their pocket. This is made worse by the fact that when I bought the agreement I had already had an oil change. The prick manager went all Glengary Glenross and refused to discount me that initial oil change ($21) which is already paid for in the coverage. Instead he said snidely, “but I will happily pick up the oil change you are in here for now.” Prick.

These two service policies have really ticked me off and make me doubt whether I would buy a Saturn again.

The second reason I am pissed is that in order to take care of my driving obligations last night (8/22/02) I needed to rent a car for $45 rather than use mine for the freakin’ 40 miles that I drove. God I’m pissed off.

So let this be a warning out there to all you people who are thinking about buying a Saturn/Service agreement be warned. One mile over and you are taking up it up … well you know. I suspect that this goes for every other car company out there, but Saturn claims to be the friendliest. Yeah Right.

-wOOt

We didn't expect much. This restaurant, sunk beneath a gigantic building, didn't seem like it would be much. And it wasn't very well occupied, at least in the bar. That is, there was just us. But there were a few patrons in the gigantic restaurant. Of course, it was almost 10, so there shouldn't have been a big crowd in a downtown eatery, after all.

We sat at the bar and spent a few moment arguing over which bar we were in, an occasion that's becoming all too common. As a result of our weird references to numbers and bars and such, our bartender Andy asked us what we were doing. So we gave him the talk about the quest, and he was really into it. He hadn't lived in Seattle very long, and grilled us about sports bars, a type that we're not so good at, cause it mainly involves spending time in them to find out the best, and well, we don't spend much time. But we gave Andy a few suggestions, and after finishing our drinks, we were ready to go.

Andy then told us that his mother always said he should do good for those who can do good for him. And he comped us our drinks.

Which is part of why I think you should go to Benihana late night. The other part is, the bar is yours, cause there's nobody there, and the staff is friendly anyway. I really kind of liked it, cause instead of some empty bars which seem lonely, this one just seemed kind of private, cause there was stuff going on just around the corner in the restaurant.

Plus they have some sort of great sushi deal, although I'm not recalling what it was. An all you can eat thing some afternoon? I can't say.

But Benihana was good.

Our drinks were weak. Our bartender was inattentive. The prices were high. There's no reason to go here. So don't.

It's a sprawling multi-level outdoor terrace which you see first, before you even get to the sunken main restaurant and bar. We skipped all the levels, making for the bar, which was a great idea. There, we met Nicole, a cool and cute chick who's been in the city for about a year and has worked at E & C the whole time, pretty much. We told her about the quest, and she just loved it. She was pretty busy, cause the place was still jumping, so we didn't have as much time to talk as I might've hoped, but still, she was great.

The bar is a big place, British more than any particular sort of regional affiliation. There's all sorts of decor from all about the Isles, and it's a pretty comfortable seeming place. There's a sunken lower (lowest, by this time?) level, with two pooltables and a dart machine and such, which can be reserved for private affairs, and seems like it would be a great place to have such a one.

A guy who I presume worked there came back behind the bar, his name being Jason. He was with a couple of friends, and all of them seemed just a little bit on the drunk side of things, but he too, loved the quest when it was revealed to him. As we talked, Nicole said she had to support us, so she was taking care of the drinks. Which was very nice of her, and it was our first night where two bartenders showed such extreme and totally appreciated generosity.

I liked Elephant and Castle a lot, and the fact that it's just below a new favorite (see the next review) makes it even better. We'll be going back to say hi to Nicole sometime, and maybe she'll join us for a night out.

The Terrace Room is the name of their bar, on the fourth or fifth floor, and above this point, the hotel narrows to a tower. This gives them a nice rooftop space over the meeting rooms and such, and they use it to good effect.

While I'm not saying that I've lost my affection for the Cloud Room, the Terrace Room is amazing.

Inside, it's just a hotel bar and restaurant. Nothing at all remarkable, except that there's a nice happy hour from 4-6.

Outside, though.

The terrace is big. They claim is the largest in the city, and it may be. There's tables scattered about, under trellises that curl with plants, and strings of large lights that give a sort of party shine to the place. The furnishing is all patio type, but pretty comfortable for that, and the view, over 4th Ave, is surprisingly nice in the darkness. You see a world half way asleep but still moving about, and you see it in the cool air of a summer night. Or at least, that's how I think you should see it. It's not so high as to be actually chilled by wind, but it's cooled by being above the heat-shedding streets.

It was a great place to stand and sip at drinks, to think of the city around you and what a great thing it was to just be alive and doing something as silly as a bar quest. And it was a great discovery, since I don't know but one person who's been there.

Go to the Westcoast Grand Hotel while the summer still lasts. Hell, go tonight. Enjoy the cool air, the sparkle of the city, the joy of a terrace. Just go.

Type: Hotel
Class: Average

There is no other way to describe the Spring Hill Suites bar as anything other than absolute and total crap. They have the worst bar hours ever (4-10 every day, maybe 4-11 on weekends.) They have a part-time bartender. When I say part-time, I mean that he is only at the bar for part of the time. The rest of the time he is, “serving food” whatever that exactly means, since I didn’t see anyone eating in the bar.

The drinks were pathetic and awful. My G&T was so unpalatable, I caught myself saying, “ow, ow, it hurts.” I really didn’t want to finish the drink but with Jason’s watchful eye, I couldn’t just toss in the bartender’s face.

They had the 4 stool minimum and all the bartender cared about was that the game hadn’t started yet. At one point he said, “Get on with the game. We only have until the 30th.” I couldn’t figure out what he meant, but I later learned that he must have been expecting a baseball strike when the two sides failed to reach an agreement (which incidentally, did not happen.)

So it is with great, gleeful joy that I get to give the Spring Hill Suites 1 pathetic Martini Glass crushed with a baseball bat out of 5. Never, ever, go here. Never. At least at Von’s you can steal candy out of the front greeting area and then leave.

-wOOt

It is Wednesday Night (8-21-02) and Jason and I have just dropped off Mel at about 1:00 AM. I am driving Jason home and I make a left turn when I should have gone straight. This little street ends in an opening but says do not enter. It is late, so fuck it. We turn right and end up on the street we want to be. We are sitting at a red light facing a one-way street that will take us either onto the highway or onto 85th. At the edge of my vision I notice something, but it doesn’t compute (since it is 1:00 AM and I have had a few drinks.) They are flashing lights and they are getting closer. This in of itself is not the disturbing part. The problem is, is that they headed DIRECTLY for me. I look up at the light to make sure I am in the right place and I am. Yet the lights are still approaching.

Did the cop see me make the illegal right turn and decide to harass me over it? Is there some big emergency that he is rushing to? Did he just decide that it was 1 AM and he wanted to go the wrong way up the on ramp from I-5. Who can say?

All I know, is that while sitting there staring at the lights, he approached on a collision course. Shifting into Reverse, I prepared for evasive maneuvers. The cop screeched to a halt in the middle of the intersection, made sure that he could turn, then turned and immediately switched off his lights.

Jason and I just stared at each other in horror. The light changed and I went forward towards 85th. About 30 seconds later I turned to Jason and said “Are you still freaked out?” “Yup.” My heart was still pounding. My breath caught in my throat and slowly the edge of frenzy slid off of my mind.

Totally freaky.

-wOOt

In an effort to make the night of Pioneer Square more readable, I am separating the night into 3 sections: Pre-event, Pioneer Square, and Post-event. While it was all one night, it really had 3 distinct sections (at least for me.)

It is Saturday and I am feeling lazy. I am currently having this issue with not being able to drive me car (see those Saturn fuckers) thus I am not inclined to drive anywhere. I had a party the night before so my place is both clean (uncluttered) and needs cleaning. I wrote some bar reviews and generally slacked off. I am very much looking forward to this evening.

Since we were going to be drinking way too much tonight I decided to bus down and then cab home. Now the first mistake I made was smiling when this woman said something funny. This meant I was listening and that I would probably continue listening. The second mistake I made involved actually opening up my mouth. She was this kind of new age hippie black woman who was talking to “everyone” on the bus. She complimented a girl in front of her on her hair. Asked her what she used to get it so “fluffy.” Nothing, it is like that naturally. Then the “conversation” moved to the Cheesecake Factory. Since I had just been there I opened my mouth to comment on it. Boy was that foolish. Now she had turned her sights to me.

I was writing in my notepad and she thought that I must, “schedule events for someone famous.” Bizarre. Then she started rambling about how I probably did some sort of “hodgepodge” of things. I don’t think she knew was she was talking about and this scruffy black guy behind her called her on it. “Hodgepodge. What are you talking about?” After she had gotten off the bus he says, “Hodgepodge. I think she thinks she is more than she is. I hate people who think they are more than they are.”

Weird side note, the woman with the fluffy hair, thought she recognized me from the Starbucks on 15th where she works. I don’t go to Starbucks, but I do walk past it a lot.

After I got off the bus, I ran into Sean and we went to go get money. Right next to the cash machine I was using was the unmistakable odor of vomit. Looking down a big steaming pile of it. Yummy!

From there it was off to the Totem Pole to wait for the crew.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

Our first stop on the Pioneer Square run was a short one. We arrived early (9 pm) and the place was mostly empty. There is a long bar along one side and a mirror on the other. An open dance floor occupies most of the space and there are tables in the back. Upstairs is a balcony, which houses the DJ and some various chairs. I really liked the balcony area, even if it was entirely dead.

Old Timer’s is owned by an older Native American gentleman (whose name I have spaced). We met him briefly and he seemed like an interesting guy to have a couple of drinks with. I can only imagine the stories that he would tell.

This was our first stop and Katherine decided to pick up her first sponsorship here. It is nice to have one of our readers give something back to the quest. Now you all will get to see her up on our lovely sponsor’s page.

Most of the Pioneer Square bars can be defined by their music. Old Timer’s music is moving towards Salsa. On Fridays they will be having live Salsa, but this night they had a DJ and some fast beats. If you get too hot, you can go out front and sit in the smallish outdoor lounge area.

Our drink was under the $2.50 happy hour price. It was about average in size and strength. Hung around the bar were numerous signs for Red Bull. The female bartender was blonde and fit, but we already had our own. I also met and spoke with Andy. Despite Scott’s urgings, I don’t think Andy really cared much about our quest. He seemed to pretend to be interested for Scott’s sake, but I doubt it went much further than that.

Old Timer’s was nice but it wasn’t amazing. It picked up more when we came back later, but the upstairs (the coolest part IMO) was still almost entirely empty. All in all, not a bad place, but not incredible. I give it 3 and half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

I will give Doc Maynard’s its props for being the meeting location for the Underground Tour, but as a nightspot it pretty much blows. Maybe I am being harsh, but there was just this feel about them that I didn’t like. It was too fratty, with a bad 80s cover band (The Retros), cash only bar (which I hate), plastic rocks glasses, and all of the staff looked annoyed. I just did not get a good feeling from this place.

The drinks were strong and tasted REALLY cheap. The décor was “historic Seattle” which looks fine in the day when they are really a pub, but looks like crap under the lights of a Saturday night frat crowd.

The drinks were $3.50 well (not even the cheap happy hour we got at Old Timer’s), there was a very busty door mistress who was a nice hello but otherwise the staff was nothing that I wanted to look at.

I give Doc Maynard’s 1 Martini Glass that I can’t crush beneath my heel cause it plastic out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

Larry’s is a fairly big place but it feels incredibly closed in. There is a stage up front with a live Reggae/Rock band and a small dance floor in front of it. Pressing through the crowd to the bar we found even less space. The bar was packed to press and getting a drink would have taken forever but, fortunately, it was not my turn so I sat down in the back by the bathroom and pool tables.

The bar is dimly lit, except over the pool tables (and consequently the entrance to the bathrooms.) Behind me was a string of tequila bottle lights. Across from the bar is another even more tightly packed group of tables filled with a much older crowd. The average age here was at least late 30’s and up (except for a couple of punk rockers playing pool.)

Ja