Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

There is no other way to describe the Lush Life other than as simply charming. Outside a small metal trellis with ivy growing up it spans the entrance way. A small courtyard with several tables line the entryway before you enter the restaurant itself. Once you open the door a lovely scents wafts across the air and you find yourself salivating for whatever is cooking in the kitchen. Soft Jazz floats lazily through the air.

Rounding the corner the bar is all of the way in the back. Past the tables of couples and families we sit down at the large dark wood, L shaped bar. We sat down and ordered calls. They were only fifty cents more. This is the first bartender that I can think who told us this important fact before he poured the drink and without us asking. Gavin is a good guy.

Candles line the bar and abound throughout the place. Melody and her friend Molly were out with us and they made such an attractive addition to the bar and our group. We need to go out with hotties more often. The food that they ordered looked excellent but I had just eaten.

The Lush Life was just lovely. The Calls were $4.50 and they were a good pour. Between them, the environment, and Gavin’s good nature, I must give the Lush Life 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

There is little about Restaurant Zoe that is remarkable, with one exception. That would be Claire, our bartendress extraordinaire. Sure the bar had nice lights and an open kitchen, but the bar area was a little cramped and had trouble fitting all 6 of us comfortably. Fortunately there were no tables free, which put us right next to Claire.

Claire proceeded to put on quite a show for us. The drink is called Spanish Coffee (such an innocuous name, huh?) It is a mix of Tia Maria and Brandy, coffee, and heavy crème. Now the reason that this is cool is that Claire dips the glass deep into sugar and then mixes some Brandy into the bottom. She lights the glass on fire, burning the Brandy and caramelizing the sugar. As the Brandy burns she tosses cinnamon into the flash producing wonderful colors and adding a flavor touch to the drink. I wanted to pay her $6 just to watch her make the drink again. I got my wish even though she was making a variant for another couple.

Claire had the extra bonus of being from South Africa and being quite the tall drink of water. It was a win win in all ways.

Big ups to Melody for picking up another Sponsorship.

Mostly my rating of Restaurant Zoe is for Claire and her Spanish Coffee. I give Restaurant Zoe 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

Fandango’s most notable fact is that Edgar Martinez owns 1/30th of the restaurant. We had all thought that he owned more, but it turns out that we were mistaken.

The restaurant itself stretches far into the back past an enormous open kitchen. In the back there are spacious round red padded booths. They look quite luxurious and with their back to the wall, it makes them ideal for protecting yourself from being hit while eating there.

The bar area up front is more of a waiting room than a proper bar. The drinks were pricey, but the happy hour food specials were quite nice. We had these mini tacos and Clarkie and I each had an oyster shooter. They served the shooter with Gazpacho which was far inferior to the cocktail sauce pepper vodka combo of Elliott’s.

While we had a lot of fun here, little of it had to do with Fandango itself. It may be a nice place to eat, but I would skip it and go over to the Bada Room for an exceptional drinking experience.

I give Fandango 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Trendy

From the outside, the Bada Room is the most inconspicuous place we have been to yet. When you look in, all you can see is a row of four nicely set tables and a hallway stretching back into the unknown. The décor is white with no decoration and if we did not have to drink at every bar in Seattle, we would probably have missed this one. And what a mistake that would have been.

Walking down the hallway you emerge into an orgy of futuristic chic. This place has so much style that words can not do it proper justice. The Bada Room proper is an enormous space filled with so many amazing touches that it boggles the mind. The central theme is white, with a few notable and excellent exceptions. The bar is polished and while I did not meet the bartenders, Jason said that they were quite nice. The tables scattered throughout the center were sparkling silver with wavy white chairs. Across the back where two enormous high backed booths. Each booth had four small tables in the center and a number of blood red foam stools to sit on. I would say, each of the U shaped booths could sit about 12 comfortably. The best part about them, is that they give you a great vantage point on the rest of the bar, with the exception of the other booth.

To one side is a large frosted glass pane that is used as a projection screen. When we arrived they were playing Ninja Scroll, one of the most kick ass anime movies ever. Past the video screen are two large red felt pool tables. These tables are free on Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday Nights. Otherwise they are $12 an hour (maybe $15.)

Off to one side is the Pink Room. This is a small white padded room that has been flooded with pink light. Near the entrance to the Pink Room, a DJ stand was set up. The DJ was playing some great techno and house music. Sean talked to him to find out what he was playing. I will have to get a copy of that from him.

The Bada Room has the most amazing atmosphere and style of any place we have been. I can only imagine what the crowd must look like on a Friday or Saturday night. The only downside is that the drinks are about $5 or $6. But at least you get what you pay for (the drinks were fairly strong.)

I give the Bada Room the mighty 5 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

After an earlier attempt to visit was foiled by tiredness, we returned to this dive of a downtown bar. And what a dive. There's old waitresses, old customers, Christmas decorations are a year round accessory. The place is very much a mottled linoleum sort of bar, with Formica accents.

In short, it's the kind of place that you wouldn't expect to see downtown. But it's there, all the same.

The regulars are obviously very much regular, and the bar staff treat them like they were vaguely disreputable members of their family, but then, it seems as if the regulars treat the bar staff about the same.

The drinks weren't big, and they weren't strong, but then, they were really cheap. So who can complain? And the bartender gave us free shot glasses, from a box full that were apparently from some event long ago, but were never used.

Glen picked up this bar, although of course he's still thousands of miles away and not bodily present. However, his spirit is quite often with us as we consume other spirits.

A cheap drink downtown, when it's not even happy hour. Who would have thought?

While I guess it's a nice looking place, and I'm told it's been there forever, and it's very popular, and all that, the Virginia Inn pretty much sucks. The drinks were pricey and, far less forgivable, very weak. The place stank of pretense. And I've already given it more space than it deserves, so I'll just say skip it entirely, and head down the block to the next review, and the far worthier Avenue One.

We gave them the wrong number on their card, which was my fault entirely, but which will leave them thinking they're number 138. So if either Mark or bartender Brandon reads this, you're actually 137.

Avenue One is a really nice looking place. A very pleasant bar, with copper accents and all manner of styling little touches, with good lighting and an overall pleasing aesthetic quality, Avenue One is the sort of bar you'd think would be pretentious. And yet, that quality is absent. Instead, it's a nice place that is aware of its niceness, but also recognizes that you, too, are nice.

The bartenders, Mark and Brandon, were good guys who could talk about the local bars, were interested in the quest, and at least in one case are taking up the loveliest musical instrument ever, the piano. Which is a good thing. They also make a tasty and strong beverage, but more importantly, do so after you've wandered in, a complete stranger, and insisted/begged for a strong drink, since your last couple sucked. Normally, I'd expect about the opposite result, some weak little thing that shows you shouldn't be impertinent, but instead, and perhaps quite in keeping with the bar, Mark just poured them strong. For which I'm very grateful.

We had a good drink and a good time in a great looking bar, which is why you should just give up on the Virginia Inn, all you devotees of such, and move right on down the block for a real bar experience.

Brandon and I were going to meet Clara, Tony and Farida (whose name I likely just misspelled) but we had a bit of time so we stopped in at the Courtyard. It's a hotel across the street from Jillian's, pretty much, so we'd driven by it many times, and I didn't think there was a bar there until Brandon joked about how we'd have to drink there, at which point I checked, and then we both groaned, cause it wasn't funny any more.

In any case, it's a hotel. There's not much more to say about it--if you've been in one very standard mid-level hotel bar, you've been in this one, too. Perhaps the only difference was the (presumably gas) fireplace, but otherwise, it looked like just about every other normal hotel bar.

Our waitress, Amy, was fun--she'd worked other bars, been to college in the Boston area like Brandon, and kept protesting that it had been a lot busier earlier. Well, we didn't care. We like it kind of slower, so we can chat with the bartenders, and in this case, chatting with Amy was a good thing.

Of course, it's still a hotel bar, so there's not much reason to go there, but the staff was friendly, the drinks weren't terribly priced and were okay for strength, so overall, you could do a lot worse. And those generic hotel bars have a certain interesting comfort level for anyone who's stayed a lot in those types of hotels, so they can make good places for a quiet talk.

Our first attempt at a bar in Madrona was too full for us, so we (Brandon, me, Clara, Tony, Farida and Phil) all wandered up the street to get to the couple of other bars that should be just a block or two away.

Dulce's was at the end of the next block, and it's pretty much a restaurant, but with a cigar lounge. There was no one in the cigar lounge, even staff wise, and all they had there were wines, brandies and scotches, so we moved back into the restaurant proper to see if there was a bar there.

Indeed, there was, a short bar in the back with an adequate supply of booze. But they pour very well; Ketel One is their default vodka, and you can't complain about that. The prices reflect that, since drinks aren't cheap, but when I pay for quality, I don't complain.

We lingered in Dulce's for a while, because we had such a big group and people were talking. The bar stools, I should note, are not at all comfortable. However, the staff is good--they checked up to see if we wanted more drinks and brought us all water in glasses with stems so delicate I feared to touch them. But by not hurrying us along, and bringing us bonus water to make sure we had stuff to drink, they showed they were very good staff indeed. It's a pretty good place to linger.

Farida picked up the sponsorship at Dulce's, for her first. Thanks, Farida!

We wandered back toward the first bar and encountered another bar, the Supreme, along the way. It's a restaurant bar, and a little fancy in the highly-unadorned-yet-spendy way. We got a table in the bar area, after discovering we had time for just a drink, which is all we wanted, anyway.

Again, we ended up lingering a while, though not as long as Dulce's, and no one at the bar seemed to mind. Then again, they didn't seem to mind much. They were very chill. Too chill, even, as they would just sit at the bar talking with people, and getting our orders taken, or the bill, was a bit of a struggle.

The drinks were very pricey. They weren't as strong as they were pricey, although they were decent enough. But the bill was presented to us, handwritten on a folded over sheet of crisp white vellum-like paper that was, sadly, reclaimed from us. We asked for it back, but as was typical, the speed at which this request was processed was very lackadaisical, and we decided better just to leave it, however cool it was. And it was cool.

Phil picked up the Supreme, from out of nowhere, getting his first sponsorship. He's a brave man, because it wasn't it a cheap first bar. Many props to Phil.

The Supreme isn't, although it has a few nice touches that might be worth one visit. But that's about it.

The St. Cloud is just about everything you could want in a bar. It's a neighborhood place that welcomes others, it's got great drinks for a high-end price that are actually worth it, it's got a bartender (Aaron) who works the whole room and makes you feel like you're at the bar even if you aren't, it's got a baby grand piano and at least on the night we were there, someone to play it while a lady with a great voice sings you classic jazzy tunes.

We had tried to hit St. Cloud to start our night, but it was too crowded. On our return, the six of us managed to get a table, which needed to be pushed together, but that was no problem for the staff, they were happy to do it. Service wasn't so fast, but there was one bartender to work the whole room, as mentioned above, and he still did a pretty damn good job of it. Aaron was friendly, engaging, interested in the quest, and makes a damn fine drink.

I had a mojito, which I've noted is becoming the hot new beverage of choice, and which I have to say is damn nice. Rum, lime juice, soda and fresh mint muddled into the drink; it's refreshing as hell, and tasty too.

We were also able to get food, which was nice. The fries are a solid entry, and the chicken is well spiced, with succulent skin that only Clara and I seemed fully able to appreciate.

The piano player was talented, and was able to pick up a song he hardly knew when his singer sprung it on him. And the singer--she was youthful and pretty, she knew her moves, and she sang like Billie Holliday. She was damn good. The whole musical experience made the St. Cloud that much better, but I don't know how often it's repeated.

Aaron, when he heard about the quest, loved it so much he said he was buying us shots. We thought for a bit he had forgotten, but he was just really busy. Eventually, he returned with shots of the Papa, Patron Tequila, which Brandon and I, with a toast to Aaron, happily downed. However, this now left me with vodka, rum and tequila battling it out in my stomach, and I expected a worse result than occurred, which was pretty much nothing wrong the next morning.

The St. Cloud was also very nice looking, I should note, with a mosaic bar top, a baby grand, and an overall nice look.

I'm going back, that's for sure, and probably long before we're done with the quest. The singer and pianist will be back on the 11th, so maybe that's a good night.

142 is a big number, actually. It's one-fourth of 570, so this was our 25% bar, by the numbers. We wanted at first to find some appropriate bar. But then, having left the rest of the crew at St. Cloud, and heading to my house to drop me off from the St. Cloud, we realized there was no need to make it anything significant. Brandon said, "Wanna just stop here?" I paused until we were almost past the place, then said, "Sure," and so the Fairview became a milestone bar.

The bartender, whose name I will add here just as soon as I recall it, was an old school member of the group, a woman of advancing years who's probably been tending bar since she was able, and since I was but a lad in short pants. The place was the same, the sort of divey bar that I grew up around. But I'm not used to them at around 1:15 in the morning. There were only three patrons, all a bit, no a lot, drunk, all at the bar. Discussion centered on whether Bush had one the nationwide popular vote, which he didn't (although that's not important, cause we're a democratic republic, not a democracy), and everyone at the bar but one guy knew this. The one guy, however, looked like he was willing to tear apart the bar to "prove" his point, so with willingness aplenty, I got out of the discussion, and very shortly after we left.

However, before then we had our drinks. They weren't too strong, and they weren't at all spendy. We talked a bit with the bartender, who revealed that she'd been 86'd for life from the Baranhof, according to her for having 2 drinks, leaving, and then coming back for another. I'm sure there's more to the story, but the idea of someone getting 86'd for life from the Baranhof is so odd that it scarcely matters whether there's more story or not. It's still a great tale.

With tempers rising at the bar over the whole Bush vote issue, and our bartender attempting in vain to restore order, we fled into the night.

Being a quarter done is weird.

It's getting kind of hard, in a lot of cases, to say anything about some of these bars.

All I can report is drink strength or price. Cuteness of people (usually non-existent). Maybe a hint of decor, but not so much anymore.

I'm jaded.

The bars are all the same after a while. Oh, sure, there are differences. But they don't matter enough now. In the first few dozen bars, everything seemed new. It was important to note boardgames, or the bronze backdrop, or cool artwork. Now, I barely see those things. Boardgames are common enough in the long run, metal accents all blur together, artwork is cool the first time, interesting the second and background all the rest of the times.

All that's left is the bartender, the drink and the unique, and there isn't a lot of the last.

That, and the crowd we go with, which doesn't have much to do with the exact, narrow purpose of this quest, and also often makes me pay much less attention to where we are.

But I guess as long as I have a drink (and I do) and as long as I report on how good/strong/expensive it was (and I try to) for this site, I'm covering the bases.

I just didn't think I'd get so blasé about the whole thing this quick. Of course, "this quick" is still 150 bars worth. So what do I know.

This is an old place, the sort of place you expect to hang out when your grandparents are in town. And on the third day of that trip, you'd wander into the bar at 13 Coins while everyone else waited for your table, and you'd ask the kindly barkeep for a drink.

You'd be pretty disappointed. Hanging with the grandparents would be about as much fun.

The bar looks like it was built in about the 60's, which it probably was, if not earlier, and it has an old feel to it. Some might say classy, but I'm not in that crowd. It's pleasant enough, but looks just out of date.

The service is fast and courteous, but the drinks themselves aren't anything to mention. They weren't strong, and they were spendy. We sat and listened to the murmurs of distant folks waiting for their tables, and as soon as we could, we left the place. It's not a bar to go back to, either.

Located in the lobby of the Seattle Hilton Hotel, on the tenth floor of the building because there's a parking garage below, the lobby lounge was very odd. It's actually the first thing you see as you get out of the elevators, this little area with a bar and a half dozen tables, and there's all the bottles behind the bar. I'm not quite sure what they do after 2 am, although they probably have locking cabinets, but who can say? The place can't be closed off, cause it's literally in the lobby, but maybe there's more to it than appears.

It was totally deserted in the lounge, and we sat at the bar to order drinks. The Tom Arnold celebrity roast was on TV, from that new sports show he hosts, which should suggest the quality of entertainment we recieved. And the quality of the drinks was only slightly higher. They were alright, but it being a hotel bar, there are limits. And I was afraid of what the prices might be.

With cause, as it turned out. The drinks were 6 dollars each, after tax. The truly sad bit was, happy hour goes til midnight. We arrived and ordered at 10 til. We got the bill at 5 after, and of course, since they weren't rung up until after midnight, we paid full price instead of half off, as the happy hour prices run. Asshole of a bartender.

Having said that hotel bars are kind of comfortable, I'm forced to make an exception, and recommend that even if you're staying in the Hilton itself, you go to some other bar. There's plenty nearby, and it'd be hard to find one as useless.

A divey gay bar, filled with guys about a decade older than me. In other words, noplace I much wanted to spend much time at. However, we were there as part of a night of general drinking/partying/etc, cause it was on the way from one stop to another, so in we went.

We being Clarkie, Clara, Brandon and I.

The floor was littered with peanut shells, the tables with drinks both empty and temporarily abandoned. The place was dim and vaguely Pride-ish. We got our drinks, at a good price and full of strength, and settled on the outside deck as a place to sit. It's kind of nice there, breezy and shaded at that time of the evening, and it was nice to just sit and drink and eat peanuts, tossing the shells to join all the others on the ground. If only the crowd was 15 years younger, it would've been perfect.

But you can't always have everything, and at least C. C.'s had strong drinks at a good price. It's more than most bars.

After a failed attempt to pick up Lombardi's, we ventured into the nicely appointed Market St. Grill, where we were able, with only a slight delay, to get seating.

It's a nice sort of restaurant, with a fancy menu that we didn't peruse in the least, but I've glanced at before. The waiter was a nice sort of guy who brought us our drinks with some dispatch, and we sat and sipped and talked, and after a moment in this relatively nice but really unmemorable place, we left to try to hook up with other friends, and hit another bar.

Neither would happen.

The drink wasn't really all that strong, and it wasn't all that cheap, nor was the atmosphere such as to encourage a visit for drinks solely. But the food looks really nice, so check that out.

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

McCormick & Schmick's Fish House is a nice place to take your Mom for dinner, which, in fact, I did. We sat in the restaurant but the bar was “nice.” The color theme for the M&S is green. Not really a thrilling color but it will do. The other theme was fish and the fishing industry. I’m not really a big “fish guy”. I like to eat it, but the industry and the actual creatures do little for me (unless I’m snorkeling.)

Our waiter was excellent (he was efficient but unmemorable.) Our food was tasty, except for the Clam Chowder which was too thin (I’m from Boston you know.) Our drinks were passable and priced at like $4.50, but my mom picked up the drinks and the meal so wOOt to her and our first Parental Sponsorship. Jason’s mom is going to help us out with West Seattle some night, so that will be one from both sides.

Anyhow, there is not a lot to be said about M&S Fish House. It is up on Fourth away from the hub bub of downtown, and there is no reason to make it your destination if you are looking for drinks. It was not bad, but it wasn’t the M&S Harborside. I give M&S Fish House 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Average

Pulling into the parking lot of the Chelan Café’s Ebb Tide Room, we looked on in trepidation (which turned out to be completely unfounded.) The bar is very simple and very unremarkable. There is a medium sized L shaped bar with simple red frosted lamps hanging over it. Sitting at the bar were some crusty old regulars and in the booths were a smattering of people who were younger but also probably from the neighborhood.

The best feature of the Ebb Tide Room was Shawna, the hottie bartender is pink. It was a nice surprise to find such an attractive bartendress out here in the “middle of nowhere.” (Note: Mind you, while the bar is listed as Whitecenter, it is not really out that far, instead sitting in the shadow of the West Seattle Bridge.) Shawna was quite friendly and seemed to recognize us. She asked if we had been to the Ballard Firehouse, but neither of us had been there since we saw our friend’s band play there over a year ago. Turns out that she worked there until about 2 weeks earlier. Now I am upset that we skipped the Firehouse those many times we have been in Ballard.

The drinks were simple and strong and priced at about $3.50. While the décor was typical with neon bar signs and booze ads, it was comfortable. I would bring friends here if we were in the area. I would definitely bring them by if Shawna was working. I give the Chelan Café 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Average

The Steel Sky Bistro is an establishment in flux. Up until recently I am told that it was a real shit hole. It was the consummate dive (but not in the good 5 Point way.) They have renovated it and given it a new Jazz Bar kind of feel, I guess. It is a very strange dichotomy of new and old and bizarre.

The floor is stained pressboard, while the bar is a nice green marblesque with inlaid copper fish. There are frosted martini glasses, but the furniture is of low quality. The pool table is burnished steel and the felt is colored with a very cool pattern. The felt is trimmed so low it could be a lawn bowling field. There is a small stage which is now used primarily for bands and singers but we had a guy sing Sweet Carolina Karaoke while we there. It was better than Molly McGuire’s but still kind of harrowing.

The drink was not cheap (in the $4 range) but it was of a decent strength. In the bathroom, there was a sign that explained how to wash your hands. I wonder if these people need instruction. The most bizarre part of it though, was that it recommended that you leave the water running while you dried your hands and then used the paper towel to turn off the water faucet.

I suppose if there was a jazz band that I wanted to hear I would come back, but there is no other reason with the Chelan Café just down the street. I give the Steel Sky Bistro 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Dive

Legends is scary. When we went there it was packed, due to the band that was playing that night. As I recall they didn’t suck, but it was not my type of music. They were no Groovestock, but if it draws the crowd, what the hell.
The bar is large and split into 3 areas: The bar area, the music area, the game area. The bar was long and uninteresting. The music area was a small stage and some tables with dim lighting. The game area has a couple of pool tables, some dart boards, and some other miscellaneous amusements.

The drinks were strong and almost kicked my ass, that late in the night. I spent much of my time writing notes (which does not seem to come through in this review.) By the time Jason had finished his drink (I think in a subconscious fit of wanting to get out of here) I had barely touched mine. It was loud so when the bartender came over and looked at our drinks he pointed at Jason’s drink and then to mine as if to say, “What the hell is wrong with you boy?” What can I say, drinking is hard work.

The clientele is scary. There is lots of big hair, baseball hats, and guys in need of a dentist. The drummer from the band came down and at first I though he was a very big, very ugly, very scare woman. I was wrong, but he still was big and not attractive. It was at that point that we finished and fled. I give legends 3 Martini Glasses out 5. I know that seems strange but it is a great bar if you like that type of crowd and strong drinks.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

There is very little to say about this place. They are a Chinese food restaurant without a lounge, but great Dim Sum. The drinks are strong and flavorless as is the Chinese Food Restaurant way. The Dim Sum is tasty.

Big ups to Wolf who picked up our Sponsorship.

Alright, let me dig up something more to say. Lets see. Umm, they have lots of round tables. The décor is flat with a Chinese theme. Most of the staff does not speak English and you won’t pick up chicks here. They recently remodeled to take out the lounge and put in more tables.

I give the House of Hong 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 cause I’m not rating Dim Sum. Otherwise they’d get a 3 and a half.

-wOOt

With a number like that, we should have ordered some potent rum drinks. Didn't happen. Oh, well. It's not like it's a once in a quest occasion or anything. Oh, wait. It was.

But anyway. We went to the Fish House with Brandon's mother Bea, who was in town for a few days, and our overly officious and helpful server Nick was kind of scary. He recommended food items by saying he had a "lovely preparation" of the item, and while he was right on all counts, it was still kind of creepy the level of intensity he brought to the waiting business.

We also, of course, ordered drinks, our normals rather than the aforesaid potent rum based cocktails we should have had. They were passable drinks, and came in at the odd price of 4.35 each, which is not normal, but does come out to 4.75 each with restaurant tax of 9.3 percent, so I guess it makes some sense.

The place was, someone mentioned, once the lobby of a hotel, and although the ceiling had been replaced, it gave a general impression of being an old lobby ceiling. There was some various glass decoration, as panels atop half-height walls, or around the lights, and they were nice ones, although they didn't add much to the overall effect, which was kind of stuffy and stodgy.

Bea, who is a truly wonderful person and a bundle of laughs, picked up the sponsorship, making her the second person who doesn't at all live here to be a sponsor. Thanks you very much, dear.

Oh, and sorry I didn't get to say goodbye. Hope you had a good flight home.

After the Fish House, we dropped off Bea, who was on east coast time and thus, it being eleven, was rather tired. We tried to make a trip back to the waterfront to hit the Edgewater Hotel's bar, but there was no parking, and a train prevented us going to the Olde Spaghetti Factory, so we ended up heading into West Seattle, where our first stop, just past the bridge, was the Chelan Cafe.

It's a nice, neighborhood place. The music was good, a variety of rock, old blues and country that really fit well together. And the crowd was a mix, some older people who had obviously been regulars for a long time, a few younger people, and us, of course.

Our waitress, Shawna, was very attractive, although that was academic for me. She was also really friendly, if much in demand as apparently the only person working, so that we didn't get much time to chat with her. But she seemed pretty cool, and the drinks she made were strong enough to satisfy, so there's no complaints with the help.

The place (really, the Ebb Tide Room, as the cafe portion was closed by this time of night) was just a simple establishment, booth and neon and mirrors with beer logos on them. Just a plain, simple friendly bar. I liked it a lot, and if I lived anywhere nearby, I'd probably be a regular. But I don't, so I can only recommend it to those who do.

Oh, and the drinks were damn cheap, also, so there another very good thing.

I don't know why anyone would call this place a bistro. Until not too long ago, it was the Madison Cafe, which is still painted on the side of the building and only partly covered by a banner with the new name. And it was something else still a decade ago when I lived nearby in West Seattle. But the whole time, it has always seemed an univiting dive.

I'm not certain what it is, really. It's in flux. They advertise live music, but it's no one you've heard of, or want to hear of. They have karaoke, but nobody was singing, and we didn't even know they had it, until a surprise rendition of "Sweet Caroline," which is an awful but catchy song. The floor is pressboard or plywood or something like that, covered with a layer of stain or cheap varnish, and the furnishings are all very new, but still look like surplus crappy diner movie props with more shine. They had little lights for the tables, but not enough for all the tables, so that the waitress would relocate them to the tables that needed them. And there was this odd pooltable, the felt worn down totally and illustated with an odd design, the body made of metal.

All in all, a very weird place, and not in the "funky, eclectic" sense that might have redeemed it.

The drinks were 4 bucks, a bit much for the lack of ambiance. They were of a good size, but they weren't strong at all. The waitress was pleasant, but not too quick at service, and we didn't chat with her at all.

I have no idea what can be said about the place to sum up, except that it's a total mess of a bar.

After the Steel Sky, I thought anything would be better. Little did I know.

Legends is like some kind of happening roadhouse. It's a little like Von's, and a little like Goofy's in the north end. It was crowded, and loud with some bad coverband possessed of mighty mullets playing. They looked like the heavy metal guys in the Much Music USA commercials, if you're lucky enough to have MMUSA, but they weren't metal guys. It was very odd.

The drinks were okay, not great, and they weren't badly priced, for how strong they were. But I can't say we stayed to savor them. Cause this wasn't a bar I wanted to be at. The girls at the bar next to us had huge bangs, and too much makeup, and too-tight clothes. The bartenders were a little sleazy. It was not a good place, although I suppose some might have great fun there.

The one good moment was when the bartender took away my glass. Brandon, taking notes, was only just a bit into his drink, while mine was done, and the bartender, taking my glass, looked at Brandon and spread his arms, pointing at Brandon's still mostly full gin and tonic. His scorn of Brandon's drinking speed was apparent.

And a moment later, the drink downed, we were ready to go, so I suppose it worked.

I should mention I was sitting at a seat dedicated to someone's memory, with a little plaque under the plexiglass countertop.

There are worse places to drink, but not many.

We were really there for the Dim Sum, which is excellent, although quite as good since they remodeled. The new, bigger dining hall still sees only the same number of carts go by, and as a result, it seems like there's less to eat in the place. But I'm not writing about the food, so I'll let it pass.

It's a big, almost cavernous dining area now, filled with many tables of various sizes, from little 3 person jobs to the biggies, like the one we packed with a dozen or more, lazy susan always rotating.

The drinks were not so good, though. Strong, pretty much, but the cranberry juice was browning again, a la Kort Haus, and that was no good. The prices weren't so cheap, either. Pretty much, it was just a chore to drink it, but so be it. The dim sum was nice, and that was the real deal.

Wolf sponsored the drinks, cause he was one of the massive crowd and sprang on the honor before any of the others (or rather, cause he was the only one likely to spring on it, I think.) Yet another to add to his list, and we're grateful as always.

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Average

Despite Jason's historical disagreement with the Ram I have nothing particularly bad to say about the place. However, I have nothing good either. It is well lit, spacious, and has room for tons of people I don't really like: Sporties and their chickies.

The drinks were on the weak side of $3 and that is a problem since they were $4. The bartender was not particularly fast or attentive but neither did he ignore us. I did get the entertainment factor of getting to listen to Jason bitch about how he was never, ever, going to return to this place and the quest made him do it.

If you are sporty, a Fraternity guy, or just want to look at young reasonable attractive waitresses then this is your place. If you are us, then you give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

Nestled in University Village, this obviously asian eatery actually holds some interesting details for the small group looking for an unusual taste sensation.

The bar seats 4 comfortably and 5 if you are all very friendly. Why the bar is there at all is a little confusing, but I think it is just big enough so the bartender can make all of her drinks and the stools are more of an afterthought.

We had food there that was unusual and tasty. It is Pan-Asian with a focus on Koran (I think.) I had an Asian White Russian which is made with Coconut Milk. It was very tasty. My apologies to our excellent bartender but I am writing this review without my notepad. I may get a chance to add the name later.

We also had a pink lemondade and some thing else (that escapes me.) They were all excellent. I loved the staff, the food was tasty, and the drinks were interesting. The only down side is that everything tended to be slightly on the pricier side. It was worth it and it is University Village. Fortunately you go what you paid for.

I give Zao Noodle House 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

The Atlas Grill Sucks!!!!!

The Atlas Grill prepared the worst green beans that I have ever had in my entire life: Undercooked, drowning in pepper, and otherwise flavorless. And they did it twice.

What does this have to do with drinking? Absolutely nothing. But never let it be said that I was a fair and just man. Let them pay for their past sins.

I give the Atlas Grill 1 Martini Glass crushed beneath the weight of pounds of horrible green beans out of 5.

-wOOt

Revenge tastes better than their green beans.

Sean, Brandon, Clarkie and I have met up with Melody and her friend Molly, with the idea that later on Melody's husband Scott will meet up with us, after he gets off of work. So after a few attempts to find a bar have failed, we end up at Lush Life.

Out front there's a little arched trellis over the entryway into an attractive if small courtyard with a few tables. Under other circumstances, it would have been charming to sit there, but we head for the bar instead. The place is dimly lit inside, but very nice looking, with a lot of polished wood all about. The bar is in the back, not a terribly large place, just about ten seats around an L-shaped counter, and another counter on an opposite wall with a few more seats. Intimate, you might call it.

We all sat in a row on the long end of the L, then realized that wasn't good for conversation and ended up at the corner, three on either leg. This is after we've ordered our drinks, so it's a bit of a hassle for everyone to move, cause the bartender has gotten us water as well as our drinks. But it's worth it, cause now we have a more conversational situation, and we get to actually talk with pretty much everyone. Molly, it turns out, works at Von's, which we discover she shared our low opinion of, even though she works there. And Molly used to work with Scott and Melody at the Bohemian, and in fact pretty much introduced them. So it's all family, as it were.

The drinks are pretty good sized, and they're pretty strong, which is a good thing. Calling your alcohol at the Lush Life is another one of those 50 cent bargains, so we ended up doing that, and were greatly satisfied with the results. There was also some food for the ladies, so in the end we spend nearly an hour at Lush Life, and didn't have a problem with that.

Our bartender was named Gavin, and while he had to run off a lot to do things all through the restaurant, while he was around we got to talk to him, and he was a good guy. Interested, at least, and that's almost enough to make any bartender, let alone an attentive one like Gavin, into a positive feature.

I liked Lush Life, although I think I'd prefer to return for a meal in their little courtyard, rather than just another drink.

We missed another couple bars before arriving at Restaurant Zoe, a nice looking place with another intimate bar, although this also has a little seating area. We ended up at the bar, and across the aisle from the bar, the six of us sitting facing each other across the walkway area.

The drinks here were good and strong, although they weren't terribly cheap. Sean ordered some weird key lime enfused vodka, enfused vodkas being the wave of the future, and I thought the enfusion was a bit strong, but it was original, so who can say?

Our bartender, Claire, was very busy, but still made time to talk a little. Noting an odd accent (which I placed as perhaps Northern Plains or Canada) we discovered that she was from South Africa, our second South African bartender after the Nara Grill's Monica. She had lived in the states for a number of years, though, so the accent was getting kind of thin. She made these incredible to watch drinks called Spanish Coffee, and another very close relative of same, which involved her coating a large wine goblet with 151 and sugar and then burning it to caramelize the sugar and scorch in the flavor. It was a great show, and Brandon thought about ordering one just to be able to watch it again.

They had bread at the bar that I seeming ate half a loaf of, and it was pretty good.

Sean talked with a wedding party, less the bride, who were in Seattle for a couple of days before heading to Vancouver for the wedding itself. They were all very nice young women, many from far off lands, and he spent quite a while with them.

Melody told amusing work stories from Claudio's, where she had just decided to keep working, but where I'm now informed she has left, once and for all. Based on the stories, which were funny and yet slightly disturbing, I can see why she would do that.

Further props to Melody for picking up another sponsorship, solo this time, of Zoe.

From Claire, we got a recommendation to go to Fandango, a couple of blocks away, because Collin would be working, who was a bartender she knew. So we gathered up Sean and made our way off. However, Molly was lost in translation, and we were just five for the next bar.

It's an unfortunate fact that this bar's name is now most memorable to me as being a movie ticket pre-ordering service. It's further unfortunate that our information about was incorrect, and that Collin was not actually working.

We walked in and approached the generously sized bar area, with seating for 8 or so at the bar, and for a further 30 in the bar area itself. The bartender approached us, we asked if he were Collin. He said no, Collin was at the Flying Fish tonight, and all at once we were those guys who wanted him to be Collin. Which he wasn't, so that we were off on the wrong foot immediately.

However, with hard work mostly on Melody's part, we soon won him over, and we were all friendly again. His name turned out to be Dan, and he was a damn fine bartender once you got over who he wasn't. It was especially silly, as we didn't even know Collin anyway.

We sat at a table far off from the bar, right near the door, and we forgot, tipsy as we were becoming, to order the mojitos that were noted as excellent by Claire, and which I have heard praised by others since. Still, the drinks we did get, our standard, were rather good, and we realized, suddenly, that they also had dollar bar food. We ordered little dollar tacos and oyster shooters for a couple people, and talked and laughed and took seemingly hundred of pictures while we waited. Melody once again showed she was just about the best person to take out, cause she's so much fun to hang out with, and knows how to work a bar for maximum enjoyment.

The food was tasty, the drinks were good, Dan once he got warmed up was a good guy, and it's too bad we didn't come in looking for him, cause he would have sufficed quite well as the unknown recommmendation. Overall, I really pretty much liked Fandango, which I'll now take a moment to desribe, since there's more to it than I've mentioned. They have a very large totally open kitchen, a trend that is becoming more prevalent, so that I was able to watch our food work it's way to completion. And further, they have very large red booths in the back of the restaurant, the sort of thing that would be cool to just take over for an hour and a half. And it's a nice looking place, too.

So I'll go back to Fandango when the opportunity presents itself, cause it was great fun, but I suspect it was more the moment then the bar, and that I might come away disappointed. But I'll still test the theory to see if I'm right.

It's like the bar of the future as seen in the 70's, and it's far cooler than it ever seemed in those movies.

Bada Lounge is hidden away in the back, with only a hallway with a few small, white tables to show that anything is here. You can see the bar itself, with the bartender, through the door, but you can't have any idea what the club looks like. Which is too bad, cause it looks great.

Incredible, almost. The tables are white, with alternating rounded black and white chairs, and there are sprawling nooks with low couches, tables and square little seats, perfect for a group to take over. One such nook has a seperate room, and is perhaps the most intimate place to be in this seemingly futuristic bar.

The bar itself is white and curves down and under at the ends, with a white background that has holes placed in it through which illumination is provided to the bar. The bottles are all on brightly lit, but totally contained, shelves, and the bartender is almost in shadow, since all the light comes from behind and isn't too strong. Rob was working that night, and seemed to like the idea of the quest. He poured a strong drink, I can assure you, and with those drinks and a return to the crew in one of the seating nooks, we had the recipe for a good time.

Scott and his co-worker Stuart had joined us across the street, at a failed attempt to hit the new Frontier Room, and then all of us had come into the Bada Lounge. Oddly, a few minutes later the wedding party joined us, the whole group of girls from Restaurant Zoe, and they took over the nook next to us. Once again, we talked for a long while, and looked over their odd but delicious sounding desert menu, which was so appealing that 7 dollars didn't seem much for a slice of something.

The DJ was in the middle of the bar, and was playing nondescript house type music the whole time we were there. And on the big screen beside him, Ninja Scroll played soundlessly, ten feet high and fifteen wide. Behind the screen were the pooltables, free on Sunday, Monday and Tuesday nights, and we shot pool and talked more over there. Stuart and I played a game in which neither of us had any consistant game, and we were (me mostly) amusingly bad. Melody and I talked a lot, and Scott was over with us some until he decided to take on the other table (we had both).

Eventually, because it was late, we had to leave. We had been there an hour and a half, and it was past 1 in the morning. With much hugging and shaking of hands, we broke apart from Melody, Scott and Stuart and made our way into the night.

The Bada Lounge is a great place. It looks great, it's a great place to hang out, and the drinks aren't quite as spendy as you'd think they should be. I'll be back soon and likely often, and everyone should go just to see what I'm talking about.

I don't know what the deal is. I live in Ballard, a rather antiquated part of the city in some ways, and all sorts of places are closed on Mondays. Fine, they're open Saturdays, so be it. I'm sure it's some sort of old fashioned deal, and that's all there is to it.

What's bugging me is the trend of bars closed on Mondays. It became recently noticable when we were out with Melody on the 1st of July, a Monday, and discovered that the Crocodile, where we were meeting, was closed Monday, and only Monday. It continued later that night, when the Frontier Room was also closed Monday. I'd noticed it before in Madrona, where another restaurant/loungey kind of place was also closed Monday.

What the fuck is up with this? People like to get their drink on Mondays as well as the rest of the week. And I know there's no shortage of bars (Lord how I know) but I still can't believe it. Why all the Monday closures? Get the fuck out there and serve up some drinks. I'm tired of it.

When I was a kid, my mom spent a lot of time in bowling leagues. Ostensibly, it was because she liked to bowl. The real reason was that her team went on a trip to Reno or Vegas every year, and this way she could go without it seeming to be the purpose of the trip. I can't complain, I'd do the same thing. But what it meant for me was that in the years before we were deemed old enough to stay home alone, I spent a lot of Wednesdays in the West Seattle Bowl with my brother, roaming the halls in a nearly feral fashion.

While I can't recall much of the period, I can think of all the places we would run around in, and how there were on occasion other near-feral children like ourselves. But mostly, it was all about playing video games, of which they had a rather unremarkable assortment, and about getting snacks from the vending machines, which was one of my favorite things.

However, this meant getting money from our mom. We couldn't really disturb her at the lane, cause we didn't walk down there much, it just didn't happen. There were all these kind of scary adults down there, and we were all of perhaps 7 or 8 in my case. But she made trips to the bar with some frequency, getting drinks for herself and her team, as was the style in those days. And in the bar, whether she was getting a drink, or having a post bowling round, or waiting for the rest of her team to show up, we could hit her up for coin.

With one problem. We were underage, and already knew, with perfect clarity, that we couldn't enter a bar except on certain special occasions, like at a Christmas party or something. So we'd hang around at the door and call to her, and she'd get us a few quarters or a couple dollars, maybe, if we wanted snacks.

As a result, I never set foot in that bar, and wasn't living in West Seattle by the time I was a bar crawling kind of guy. So even though I'm thirty, I've never been in the bar.

Last week, Brandon and I hit some of the bars of West Seattle. We decided to stop in at the West Seattle Bowl, cause it was a better choice than Legends. However, I didn't know how late the place was open, although I knew it wasn't 24 hours.

We got there, and the alley was still open. Unerringly, I guided us to the bar, after a moment of stunned recognition of my old childhood haunt, which I hadn't been in in probably 15 or more years. There was a guy coming out of the bar, and he shut the door behind him, but I've seen other bars where you have to open a door to get in, so I was going for it. Brandon expressed a concern that it might be closed, but I just shrugged and reached for the handle.

As I pulled open the door, the guy who had just walked out called out, "It's closed, guys."

So I'm holding the door open, standing in the exact place where I always had as a kid, looking into the bar that was, unlike in my youth, pitch black. And still, after 20 years and at the age of 30, I couldn't go into this bar.

I don't know how I feel about that. But it's a story about a bar, so I'm telling it. We ended up going to Legends after all.

Six years ago, I vowed never to return to the Ram. And I hadn't, except now I had to for the quest. And I won't again.

The Ram Sucks.

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

Located inside a small office building and up a set of stairs, the Asian Wok and Grille is worth a look see. In the greeting area is a Terracotta Warrior (probably a copy of one, at least I hope so) and a friendly host who pointed us to the bar.

As with every Asian Restaurant with a modicum of quality they have a big assed fish tank. I love big fish tanks. I just would never want to have to keep them clean and running. Maybe I could get my own personal mermaid to take care of that thing. Then we can fall in love and she can give up her undersea kingdom. Or maybe I will decide that my love for her is too strong and I will follow her to her undersea world even though I know that I will never again get to return to the world of the walking. Besides I hear that Mermaid sex is kinky.

Behind the bar is a small Asian woman who pours like a whirlwind. The drinks come out fast and strong. I know I have mentioned this before but for some reason drinks at Asian restaurants always come out strong but flavorless. Does the strength kill any amount of flavor there once was in there?

Also working in the bar is a guy who is referred to as only Guijai (sp?) which means white boy. As long as he thinks its funny, I won’t comment.

Wolf says that the food here is also pretty good (have gone after we told him about the place.)

I liked it. The drinks were strong and inexpensive (at $3.50 I think) I give the Asian Wok and Grille 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Dad Watson looks like a very nice place. It is popular with the 20 something crowd and has pretty good food. Unfortunately none of this can excuse the round of drinks that we received. Our drinks were weak, not cheap, and Jason’s Vodka Cran tasted like Tomato (Just like at the Lake City Bar and Grille). Turns out that tomato juice bonds to the plastic containers that some places use for juice and thus corrupts anything else that is put into it. Good to know.

Anyhow, DW is all dark wood and has some very nice touches (like the bizarre Native American Fish hanging from the ceiling). My companions were all calling for blood on the review but in retrospect, while the drinks were not good, they paled even further in comparison to the drinks at the Asian Wok and Grille. Now that is no excuse, but I should at least be vaguely fair.

Who am I kidding. This isn’t about fair, its about truth and perception. The truth is, I perceived the place to look really nice, have a good clientele, and have crappy drinks that were overpriced. They have a huge beer selection so I suggest you stick with that. How badly can you screw up beer (unless you are a brewer.)

I give Dad Watson’s 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOT

Type: Neighborhood Bar
Class: Dive

The Old Fifth Avenue has been around since the end of prohibition (look up the date in a history book for yourself, cause I’m not telling you. Or just use your damn search engine.) They have hot nuts for sale (cashews, peanuts, and mixed.) The bartender was very cool and suggested that I keep all bar receipts to use a tax deduction since I will be writing a book about it.

The bar itself is small but nice. A single lonely pool table stands in the back secretly hoping that someone will come and play. The drinks were good and cheap ($3) and Jason spent his time there playing all sorts of electronic bar games. If you play Shanghai (tile matching) make sure you use the Medieval set, rather than the Chinese character set. The pieces are much more identifiable.

While I wouldn’t make a trip out here specifically for the Old Fifth Avenue I would definitely stop in to have a drink and buy some nuts if I was in about a 15 block radius of the place.

I give the Old Fifth Avenue 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood Pub
Class: Dive

This place is a hell hole. I use the term hell hole in the best possible way. This place attracts all of the lowest classes of University society. It attracts punks, rats, frats, and insecure girls who can’t decide if they want to get laid and feel all self conscious about maybe deciding that they do. Of course I may just be reading into a subtext that wasn’t there, but crammed at a little bar off to one side from the rest of the bar, I was left with little to do but make up shit about the few patrons I could actually see.

The bartender was standoffish and eventually I just left our card, rather than try to explain our quest to her (think) Maybe we did explain it, but I just don’t seem to recall that being the case. Normally I would call her sassy, but I was not in the mood for it. Sassy needs to be coupled with personable and I think she was too overworked to care. It was just her and a bar full of thirsty college students.

There are two pool tables and a couple of tables. Most people there were lined up along the edges of the establishment and seemed to at least know the people playing pool. Pizza boxes were scattered around everywhere since everyone buys pizza next door and brings it here to eat.

I guess this is a good a place as any, but it was kind of dirty and dingy and didn’t quite have enough proper dive like qualities to rank it high on my list. Other than pool there was a Golden Tee machine (surprise surprise.) I don’t even remember the drinks, but I have it written down somewhere.

I give the Monkey Pub 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

It's only a bar by the tiniest margin, that being the five seats that sit in front of the small wooden counter. It's maybe 10 feet by 12, but there's a sign marking that only 21 and over are allowed, so it's a bar, one way or another. And Brandon, Clara and I have journeyed there after leaving the suckhole that is the Ram.

Zao's a nice little place, with nothing really to the bar, cause it's very tiny. They do have custom chopsticks for your dining pleasure, and there are little Asian touches, but pretty much, there's hardly room for anything. One nice thing is the bin of Wasabi Peas, which sadly aren't complimentary, but are very tasty.

We ordered drinks, and I was the only one to have a well. Brandon had a coconut-milk black russian, which he said was excellent. My drink was tasty, and much better than the preceeding.

Our bartender was Michelle, who also agreed about the suckhole that is the Ram, and was good conversation. She really liked the idea, but even before she had been told about it, she was sharing drinks with those at the bar, since she had made a shaken drink (Pink Lemonade) that was more than the drink called for, and we got the excess. Later, we also enjoyed a Gin Gimlet when such was made on accident. The advantages of sitting at the bar.

The food was excellent, also, although we only had appetizers. But it was good stuff. I especially liked the pork dumplings.

Good food, good drinks and a great bartender, all the hallmarks of a great place to hang out with, in this case, a very small number of friends. Not more than five of you, to be exact.

Brandon had some sort of green bean incident at this place, so we were in and out about as quickly as could be managed. Which was too bad, cause I kind of liked it.

The bar is in front, and is a great curving thing with, however, nothing much remarkable about it beyond that. The bartender was a cute guy who seemed very friendly, but we weren't giving a card here, cause of the green beans. Also, he did make a goof by giving my vodka cran a lime wedge, and none in the Gin and Tonic Brandon was having, so that was no good.

The drink I had was pretty decent, although the price wasn't the greatest, and we didn't get a good idea of the bartender for obvious reasons, so I have no real feel for the bar. Which is okay.

Sadly, Clara was stuck in a night of vendetta bars, and probably didn't have the best time as a result. But Zao was good. She paid for Atlas, picking up another sponsorship, and I'm glad it was here, at the bar Brandon hates, rather than at the bar I hate, cause then I'd have to make a mention of it and give note to that bar, but here I can just mention it, say thanks, and not feel bad. So thanks to Clara for another sponsorship.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Roller Skating Bartender.

Now that I have your attention, on Sundays, the Rendezvous has a Roller Skating Bartendress. She is quite cute and while I found the roller skating cool, it was quite discombobulating at first. We sat down at the bar and watched as the bartender slid up to us to get our drink and slid away to make it. It took a second but finally we figured out she was rolling.

The Rendezvous, I am told, use to be a real dive. I saw none of that when we were there. The Rendezvous is appointed in red velvet and dark wood. Old chandelier style lights hang from the ceiling and there are numerous comfortable looking tables and booths. In the back there is a movie theatre (on which they play all sorts of cult classics) which is great since it has full bar service.

The bar itself is medium sized, seating about ten people. While we chatted with our bartender (whose name is once again written in the pad I don’t have with me) I asked her for some other ideas for well drinks. She suggested a Gimlet, which is Gin and Rose’s Lime Juice. I have to say, it was quite good. I think I will add it to my rotation (in places that I think it might be appropriate.)

The other bartender (who was soon to be on duty, but not quite) extolled the virtues of Bitters. Bitters, strangely, are actually sweet, so where the name comes from, I don’t know. He said that adding Bitters to virtually any drink will change the drinks taste dramatically. Interesting.

Our bartender loved our quest. She thought that it was exactly the type of thing that she wanted to do. Any quest that involved a lot of drinking was the kind of quest she wanted to be a part of. Now if only we could figure out how to bring her along on the quest without making her take off the roller skates. Hmmmm.

Chris picked up his first sponsorship here and a big thanks to him. The Rendezvous was a great place: Good looking, friendly staff, strong drink (for like $3.50 ish), and it has a movie theatre. It should have a website up soon (if its not already.) I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

When it comes to stylish Pan-Asian Cuisine in Belltown, this is your place. I know that, that is a little specific, but it is not like we are giving out Best of Awards to our sponsors. The staff uniform is sleek black that looks good on the men but de-accentuates both the bust and butt of the women which makes me sad. The décor is a modern neo-minimalism in that everything is simply, sleek, with a solid color, and is well polished.

Our drink was about average and priced at $4. Chris, who sponsored us for another bar, said the Miso soup was quite good as well. We chatted with our bartender and told him about our quest. He seemed interested only as far as a good bartender should be, but I am not sure if he really ‘felt’ our quest.

Really though, this is not a place you come for drinks. Most of the menu items were on the pricey side and if you want sushi, I still recommend that you go down to Bush Garden and use one of their Tatami rooms. While I like the Wasabi Bistro it did not really grip my imagination (like the movie theatre in the Rendezvous.) I would recommend it for a date you want to impress, but then go across the street to the Rendezvous for your heavy drinking needs. I give the Wasabi Bistro 3 Martini Glasses out of 5 served on sushi tray with shot of sake’ for flavor.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Having been thwarted by the Frontier Room once again, we went next door to Ohana. Ohana is a Polynesian Themed place with a bamboo hut over the bar and lots of island crap hanging on the walls. There are a number of booths for privacy and lots of tables. The bar is U shaped and affords you some welcome shade after the bright lights of the bar (please note the sarcasm here.)

Behind the bar was Pat (who we thought might be Mat) and a giant Jager dispenser. Now let me ask you about Jager. I guess I will start with the simplest of question: Why?!?!?!?!? Why would you subject yourself to something that has Anise in it, as well two thousand herbs and spices which only seem to cause people who drink it to go berserk and do stupid things. Now Veronica (a strange lonely well dressed low self esteem probable bimbet who was sitting at the bar) swears by the stuff, as do any number of people. I simply can not trust an endorsement from any person who actually likes Jager. Thus I need an endorsement from someone who does not like it. Ha! Figure that one out. I can offer respect to people who both love and hate Tequila. It is a pure form of alcoholic insanity, instead of Jager which is like the Frankenstein of booze. I don’t mean the Laurel and Hardy meet Frankenstein version, but rather the Robert DeNiro of Frankensteins.

So having said that, we chatter with Pat and gave him a card. We had hoped that he was going to staple it to the roof of the bamboo hut (as so many others had been) but instead he pocketed it. Oh well. I always love it when bars put up our card (even if it does not stay up.)

Our drinks were passable for $4 but not amazing. I liked the feel of the place and I liked Pat. I thought Veronica was an interesting if bizarre addition. I think Jason talks about her a bit, but I would like to say that while she was attractive, the more she spoke, the more I realized that I want a stable girlfriend more than I want an attractive one. I am occasionally reminded of the phrase (beneath a picture of a hottie), “Somewhere, someone is having to put up with her shit.” She talked of dressing up for this party since her ex-boyfriend would be there and she wanted to make him jealous. I asked if she wanted to get back together, “No. We were not right for each other.” “Then what does his opinion matter.” She seemed to agree and get it, but it is hard to say.

Anyway, I liked Ohana enough to give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5, but this is mostly because it did not suck and it entertained us.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

On Monday nights Axis has $3 Metropolitans, cheap mini pizzas and they both were good. Since the drinks were so cheap, and I felt bad about having given Glen a few too many crap bars, I decided that this would be his Sponsorship. Thanks Glen. The Watermelon Metropolitan was quite excellent and I believe that Jason enjoyed his Mandarin one.

The Axis is sleek looking and has a long marble bar. The front of the establishment is almost entirely glass and has a street side dining area for when the weather is nice. Behind the bar was Dustin. Dustin is a good guy. We told him about the quest and he told us a little about himself. He did comment that having a kid has really cut into his going out time. Yeah, I can imagine. He also mentioned that he used to work at Cutters. We should drop his name if we went down there. Who knows, maybe it will even work.

The bar itself was excellent looking and the restaurant is done up in light wood and soft light. There is an open kitchen and the occasional smell drifting on over from there was quite nice. The pizzas were delivered and I got to sample both kinds (vegie and barbecue chicken.)

Within the bar there are a number high counter tables and lots of space to mingle and say, “hello there.” According the Dustin the place really hops on Friday and Saturday, in addition to having a good looking crowd. With well drinks probably at about $4 or $4.5 I personally recommend that you come during happy hour. Mmmmmm. Tasty, tasty, happy hour.

I give Axis 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Dive

The Crocodile, much like the 5 Point and the NiteLite has a certain reputation and has a lot to live up to. Unfortunately, while it lives up to the rep, it does not have the drinks to back it up. The place is divey, has a lot of strange atmosphere (most of which seems gratuitous – like the silverware tree) and a lot of strange people. The people I liked much more than the décor. I got the feeling that the owners found a lot of strange stuff (including a large taxidermied croc) and threw it all together and said, “look, this is cool.”

The crowd was young and urban. I could definitely have seen myself coming down here while I was still in college with a bunch of buddies and just having drinks and listening to a strange band who no one has ever heard of.

Special Note: The Croc has a performance space that is separate from the diner portion up front, but you can hear the bands just fine. Thus you can have some food and listen to the band for free. Of course the tickets are rarely more than $7 so you mind as well just pony up the cash if you care that much.

On a different note, Jason got a plastic rocks glass. It looked normal but it was made of plastic. I thought he was insane when he told me my glass was made of plastic (and it sure seemed like glass to me.)

The drink was weak and $3.50. I recommend you stick to shots or beer. However, it does have a good dive atmosphere, interesting people watching, and free music if you care enough. I give the Croc 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Irish Pub
Clas: Average

The Kells is your typical Irish Pub. It is dark wood, has Irish things on the walls, a small stage for Irish Music, serves Irish beer, etc … I am getting a little tired of all of these Irish Pubs to be honest. All you need is one and then you can move on. Fado had some interesting rooms and the Owl and Thistle had both a “reading room” and a dive portion. The Kells is just basic nice. I suppose that is an ok thing, but it does not inspire me.

I recommend the Kells when you are downtown and just want a Guiness and a place to sit and chat with whoever you are with. The drinks are pricey at $4 and they were not worth that price. The crowd is middle aged (or at least it was on Monday when we were there.) I have seen it younger towards the weekend, but it does not have the Irish Hottie Quotient (IHQ) that I would like from an Irish Pub. Not nearly enough red hair. Hell, every time I have been there, there has not been a drop of it.

The bartender was overworked and was having trouble with his cash register. Not his fault and I’m not marking him down for it, but it was just a kind of dull experience. I give the Kells 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 for being sub par but with nothing alarmingly wrong with it.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

The sign outside of Cutter’s Bayhouse says “Fish Oysters Pasta” (I believe, but the Pasta is the important part.) This struck us as very odd. Walking in, they quickly informed us that they were about to close. Explaining that we were only there for one drink though, Kara, the Manager said that would not be a problem. They were definitely in the end of the night cleaning mode, but making us some drinks would not dirty anything important.

Cutter’s is a large, well lit, family/tourist style place. Everything is of good quality, is nice, without being overdone, and is tasteful. There is a sushi bar by the door and the bar proper is a long marble affair with numerous taps and a generous liquor selection.

We quickly struck up a conversation with Kara and talked about our quest. Watching her and Frank (one of the waiters) banter back and forth was quite entertaining. They definitely have a good time here and that is really important. If the staff is having a good time then you are going to get treated well. Staff that hate life, make you hate life.

Cutter’s has a 9-close happy hour and with Jazz playing in the background they are a nice place to get a drink. It is definitely better than almost anywhere else in the area (except for maybe Typhoon down Western, but that explanation will come in about 30 bars.)

We asked Kara about the Pasta sign. It turns out that only used to have one Pasta dish and they would lose a lot of customers because of it. Families would come in and while someone would want fish someone else would want pasta and without pasta they would just go somewhere else. Now they advertise it and their business is much better. Tourists are so annoying sometimes.

We mentioned that Dustin from Axis had recommended them and Jason got their Bloody Mary, which is reputed to be the best in the city. Jason concurs that it is the best Bloody Mary that he has had. I don’t even like Bloody Marys but this one was drinkable.

We give big ups to Kara, but I’m not allowed to say why. Needless to say, she is the coolest and we highly recommend that you go there. Especially during happy hour. Every bar is better during happy hour.

When it comes to clean, nice, family style drinking (which isn’t as bad is sounds) I highly recommend coming to Cutters. They will treat you like a star and will be as friendly to you as you are to them, so treat them well. As such, I give them the mighty 5 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Belltown Billiards is a really chic looking place. The crowd here is young and oriented towards the meat market mentality (so Kara tell us.) On a Tuesday night though it was hard to tell. What few people who were there, were good looking, and did seem to be the type.

There are 12 pool tables, each at $15 an hour (I believe). While the pool tables are well lit, everything else is very dark (including the bathrooms.) The bartenders were standoffish and barely checked back with us to see if we wanted another drink (let alone if the drinks were ok.) 70’s music played in the background and a sign above announced Dungeness Crab Nachos. That seems like a bizarre combination (the music and the crab, no just kidding.) Why would you wasted good Dungeness crab on nachos is what I want to know.

The drinks were $5 and weak. The look is great, and the crowd is pretty. So if you are looking for a place with some pool and an ascetic, then this is your place. Just make sure you have the money and the look to back it up.

For a downtown hangout it is probably as good as any other for its type. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5, but I recommend shots or beer.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Oh the Frontier Room. How high you have fallen. Once the premier dive in all of Seattle with drinks that made the Baranof sit up (so I’m told), you are now an anemic and unappetizing parody of yourself.

The motif is still “old west” but now it is now done is high-end materials, cold iron, and fireplace wood. Seriously, they have a huge firewood stack in the back right corner. Next to the stack are several large cowhide style booths and sets of antlers up on the walls. Who are they kidding? This place is just kind of sad now. I suspect that they probably do pretty good business on name recognition but it is always hard to see a Seattle Icon fall.

The most notable thing about the Frontier Room is that it is 30% of our bar quest. 171 is 30% of 570. Damn.

Also of interest, is that their phone number is 206 956 RIBS. The bartender did say that they had good ribs and think he was telling us the truth. Unfortunately the drinks were $5 and just as crappy as Belltown Billiards.

On our way out, we needed a napkin (I use the term we loosely) so we grabbed one off a table. Unrolling it, it was more like a thin terry cloth than a good proper napkin. How cheap and crappy.

While I hated the Frontier Room, more for what it was no longer rather than for any particular failing of its own, I must give it 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. It does not get the full one because if the original had never existed, this place would not have been quite so bad.

-wOOt

Located in what looks like a rather new medical/dental office building, the Asian Wok and Grill rather sneaks up on one. The door is just like all the others in the hallway, metal with large windows, and with a little plaque indicating the suite number. But inside, it's suddenly an Asian food restaurant, with the bar located just the left of the kneeling terra cotta warrior.

We (Trevor K., Clarkie, Brandon, me) sat at the bar, ignoring the small tables in the space, and quickly ordered drinks from the small Chinese woman behind the bar. She had a very generous pouring hand, and the drinks reflected that. They were of a good size, and while the alcohol wasn't quality, it was very plentiful.

After we had been drinking a moment, a white guy appeared behind the bar and asked if we wanted anything more. We said no, and then asked if he knew Clarkie, but realized he thought Clarkie looked like his cousin Joe, and then we asked his name. He said Gwaichi, which apparently means white guy, but that he could also be called round eyes or hey you. His real name was Aaron, and we had an amusing few minutes explaining the bar quest to him, and having him explain it to our first bartender. Once we had finally finished our ever-so-strong drinks we moved on.

(side note--it was odd having aaron say clarkie looked like his cousin joe, cause aaron looked kind of like this guy joe i dated, who also looks kind of like clarkie, although aaron and clarkie didn't look much like each other.)

Dad Watson's is a nice looking brewpub kind of restaurant, the sort of place you'd think had good burgers and steak fries, and I think that's exactly the case.

However, the drinks aren't so great. First off, they're pretty much not strong at all. Which sucks. And secondly, my drink was a vodka cranberry, but it had a weird aftertaste. I thought it was just me at first, but I checked with all the other guys, and they all said it was foul. So I took it back, and the other bartender observed that the cranberry was in a container that had once held bloody mary mix, and so tasted foully of garlic. I don't know who puts garlic in their bloody mary mix, but it surely explained the foul flavor.

My replacement drink, while not tasting like garlic anymore, was still weak.

So we ended up having a quick round of drinks and leaving a not impressive tip, cause they didn't deserve more.

A nice, comfortable neighborhood bar which, according to Tara the bartender, has been there since 1934, which would be just after Prohibition was repealed.

And it is a nice place, not remarkable in appearance, but very pleasant all the same. A good, friendly bartender helped, of course, and so did the fact that I was suddenly seized with a desire for Boxxi and Tai Pan on the bargames machine mounted just in front of Trevor, who swapped seats with me for just that purpose.

The drinks were poured with attention to strength, a good quality, and very nicely priced. Better still were the hot cashews that we could get at the bar for a very nice price. Cashews are great, and with the drinking we'd done at the bars previous, and a party stop off in the middle, made me want badly to have more.

But I had to do with Boxxi and Tai Pan.

It was a good, fun bar, and we had a good time there.

I was already pretty drunk by the time we got here, so these are the details I remember.

There was pizza there, purchased by some very large group from the pizza joint next door as it was closing. I didn't take a slice.

There were pool tables.

There was a kind of hot bartender woman with a big tattoo at the small of her back.

I read Tablet, but I can't recall anything I read except that I thought Damon's rant was ever so amusingly Damon.

We were bunched into the short part of the bar, with a pillar in front of me.

And when I went to the bathroom, there was already a guy in there pissing, and he was still in there, continuing, when I left, with no end evident.

I also recall it was kind of dark.

That's it.

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

I suspect that Copper Sky is chain. If for no other reason than the sterile mass produced Mexican motif that it had. There is a large copper bar, adobe walls and exposed ventilation. They did not even give us free chips like every other crappy chain Mexican restaurant.

It was bland and uninteresting, just like their $4 drinks. Bartenders at these types of places are usually as plastic and uninteresting as the places they work in. Sometimes you get an interesting one, like at the Red Robin down on the waterfront, but those are the exception, not the rule.

I did notice spinning leaf shaped fans. This is the first place that I noticed them, but they would become a signature item for places that are crappy. They had them at this crappy hotel I stayed at soon there after down in Fife. Don’t ask why I was in Fife (let alone staying in a hotel down there) but just accept that they had the same crappy semi-interesting fans.

Copper Sky gets 1 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 for the plastic experience. Oh they did have giant Margarita shake machines. Like that is going to convince me that they don’t suck.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

The Melting Pot is an excellent fondue restaurant. Each table has its own burners and the bar is a sizable place where you can leisurely wait for your table to be ready.

This is also the beginning of a night of excellent sponsorships by Gwen. Gwen has been talking about coming out with us for ages and tonight (after a week and a half of planning) it all comes together in an excellent blend of booze and appearance. I would also like to say that Gwen drinks scotch. You gotta respect a woman who drinks Scotch on the rocks.

Anyhow, I guess I should talk about the bar. Adam our bartender was a good guy and poured us efficient drinks. Light jazz played in the background. There were tons of staff and few patrons (other than the 5 of us). Of course, the seating area in the back is cavernous and private so there could have been dozens of people back there and we just did not see them.

I recommend coming here for appetizer (cheese fondue) and dessert (chocolate fondue.) Skip the meal itself unless you have a very social group with lots of time and money to spend.

The only downside to the entire experience was a lippy waiter. I know that Jason has gone on at length about this topic and he takes it a lot more personally than I do, but I will say this: “Shut the fuck up when you are talking about things that you don’t understand little boy!”

I will probably do a proper rant about this in a while, but for now I will leave it at that. Just to explain briefly, dork boy commented that he thought we were taking our sweet time. He has 2 drinks a night, at home, we should be able to match that. Yeah. You would think. But it doesn’t … wait, I said I wasn’t going to rant. Maybe I will, but not here. Despite the long haired idiot, the rest of the staff was very friendly and affable. I really did like them, but he left a bad taste in my mouth, like too much tonic in drink.

The drinks were $5, poured ok, but not to a $5 strength. It is a good looking place and I highly recommend it for fondue. For straight drinking though, I have to give a flat 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5. Thanks again Gwen for your first pickup, or many I hope.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Right next door to the Melting Pot is 10 Mercer. I remember this place from our night of dives because Jason pointed it out and said, “They’re new and we have to drink there.” I’m not sure if it is new but we did in fact have to drink there.

It has a long polished light pine bar that matches the motif of the entire place: light and airy. There is an upstairs dining area and a huge booze shelf that the bartender uses a ladder to access the top of. Most of it is not even restock. There are a lot of nice single bottle booze lining the shelf. Gwen, our lovely and giving sponsor, had her selection of Scotches and she seemed pleased with her choice.

Adam, our bartender, asked what we were up to and so we were obliged to tell him about our quest. He showed us what looked like genuine interest and poured a tall strong drink for $5. It was a much better $5 pour than the Melting Pot. 10 Mercer also had a tall leggy blonde waitress that I would like to say rude things about, but I won’t.

Hanging from the ceiling were interesting mottled blown glass lamps of different colors.

If you are looking for a good drink in the area and want to avoid the divey goodness of the Mecca Café, I recommend that you check out 10 Mercer. I give them 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Irish Pub
Class: Midscale

While T.S McHugh’s is an Irish Pub they were at least different enough that I did not immediately write them off as ‘Just Another Irish Pub’. The crowd is an older unattractive set which is probably drawn to their selection of 31 Single Malt Scotches.

The bartender was older and looked like he had probably seen it all. He wasn’t Waterwheel old, but rather late 40s ish. Unfortunately he poured a weak assed drink and I believe that it was in neighborhood of $4. Gwen picked this one up so big ups to her, even if it was the worst drink of the night.

Billy Joel played in the background which made me want to shoot myself. My rabid hatred of “classic” Billy Joel (Piano Man, Scenes from Italian Restaurants, Only the Good Die Young, etc…) stems from a particular bar in Boston. That, as all of my friends from college know, is Jake Ivory’s. Jake’s is a dueling piano bar and really it is a duel to the death. My death. The death that I prayed for every time I went there after about and hour. My friends love(d) this place and Chuck in particular even had his bachelor party there. AARRRGGHHHH!!!! The problem was, the dueling pianos took almost entirely requests. Thus every 2 hours they pretty much started singing the same songs again. Some nights I heard the same song, especially Piano Man 3 times in a single night. The last time I was there I ended up burning shit on the table, got smacked in the head by my “friend” Allison 3 times, and went to sleep on the table in protest. Why I didn’t leave, I still don’t know, but it was nothing but pain and torture. Thank God there are no dueling Piano bars in Seattle.

So while that has nothing to do with T.S. McHugh’s it does indicate my lack of involvement with the place. I recommend beer or whiskey. If you drink like we drink then you will agree it deserves its 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 rating.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

This is a Thai noodle house and it has the décor to match. There are lots of elephants and typical Thai/Indian motif touches. There are some interesting “tree” lamps and iron works.

We had a couple of appetizers that were excellent. Gwen ordered these weird leaves covered in stuff (I really can’t be more specific.) They were tasty and I did enjoy them. The drinks tasted good and had a strong pour. The Lemon Drop that Clarkie ordered was excellent and Gwen had a specialty drink that looked and tasted amazing.

There were a lot of good looking asian women here but it was definitely not a pick up place. We had the best looking woman there though as we were with Gwen. A most generous sponsor (picking up another) and a total hottie. You should see her in PVC. Yummy.

I liked Racha Noodles and would come back here for apps and a quick drink. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

O’Shea’s is Coffee Cart Mandee’s (a Jason Co-worker) second home. She and Coffee Cart Jenny are there almost every Thursday drinking and hanging out. Mandee was actually a little surprised when we showed up, just like Jason told her we would. So surprised, in fact, that Jason was able to convince her to pick up a sponsorship. Excellent.

According to Mandee, the bartender (Henry) has his own following. People come out on Thursday night just to see him. We did not actually get to meet him (I don’t think) but if the man has a following, how bad could he be?

It was at O’Shea’s that I noticed that these new internet jukeboxes have been popping up all over. I noticed the first one at the Corner Pocket. Now they seem to be everywhere. I have not actually used one yet, but they are supposed to have a great music selection and you can pay extra money to have your song go next. I wonder if you can outbid someone else’s next song? Hmmm, could be an interesting bidding war.

O’Shea’s has a low ceiling and was fairly crowded. These two factors left me feeling a little pressed in (we were on high stools to boot, so maybe that had something to do with it.) The drink that was placed down in front of me was in a pint glass. For once I was a little unhappy that we were getting the star treatment. I wasn’t really in the mood to drink but a quest is a quest.

There was a girl there who was having her 21st with her parents (a little weird I think) and another girl who was preparing for her upcoming bridal shower. Mandee and Katie (bridal girl) talked about the shower and what not. It is always interesting to listen to people talk about their lives, if only to watch their face to see how they really feel about it. I really do need to return to my old people watching ways.

I liked O’Shea’s but I probably wouldn’t go back on my own. The crowd is mostly University students and it only had one pool table. The drinks were big but I don’t know if that is because we were there with Mandee or not. I give O’Shea’s 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

We'd been meaning to go out with Chris again for a long time, but for one reason or another the oppurtunity kept not presenting itself. Finally, though, we had a Sunday when we could go, and he could go, so we did. Our intent was to try to pick up the ones that had slipped past us with Melody (the Crocodile and the Frontier Room) but the first place we went was the Rendezvous Room.

The bar wasn't open on the Melody day, but we hadn't even noticed it wasn't, because it's pretty unassuming when closed. Open, it was still pretty quiet, at least on a Sunday afternoon, with the small restaurant-like portion completely vacant, and only four people clustered at one end of the bar. We sat at the other, and the bartender glided gently toward us. She was on rollerskates, you see, so she could do that sort of thing.

According to Liz, it's pretty much always rollerskating day on Sunday, at least for her, and there are sometimes customers there on skates as well. Which was odd but cool. We ordered our drinks, and had a little conversation about bars and rollerskating while we drank. Brandon discovered the secret of Bitters in changing the flavor of a drink. I toured the tiny performance space/movie theater that hides to the side of the Rendezvous, and would be very intimate, since it seats only about twenty five, I'd guess. But it's nice looking, and it was very nice, I thought, to just see it as it was, totally empty but seemingly ready for anything.

It was a nice place to linger for a bit on a sunny afternoon, light shining in through the west windows, but nothing much else in the place lit up, with a rollerskating bartender. It was pretty fun, really.

Chris picked up the sponsorship, which was greatly appreciated, and we moved on to attempt other bars.

Wasabi Bistro was too full to go on the Monday two weeks ago when we prowled this same territory, so we were happy enough to pick it up today. Chris, Brandon and I took seats at the bar and our very thin and neat bartender took our orders. It didn't seem at first the sort of place to chat up the staff, because it was very much busy and proper seeming. It's a nice looking place, on the fancy side of things, with a pleasantly diverse seating situation in the bar area, and the larger restaurant space beside it. The staff were all dressed plainly but with some style in simple black clothes, which while not exactly a uniform certainly provided uniformity.

Our bartender, however, turned out to be a good guy named Rob, who seemed to really like the idea of the quest, and was a very good listener to our snippets of stories, which is what bartenders should do, but not all of them do.

Our drinks were perfectly acceptable, a bit pricey but that wasn't unexpected, and they were pretty tasty, so that's not too bad. Chris also ordered the dollar miso soup, and seemed pleased with it, so that's good. All bars should have a dollar item, I think, although it's far too often not the case.

Rob wished us luck, Chris picked up a second sponsorship, and we went on to discover that the Crocodile closes at 3 pm on Sunday and the Frontier room isn't open Sundays, before getting to another bar.

Ohana had been recommended by Ryan way back at the Metropolitan, and we had been meaning to get there for a while, but on that same Monday of Melody, it was closed for a private party, so we didn't make it in. After discovered with Chris that the Croc and the Frontier room were closed on this Sunday two weeks later, we made it to Ohana.

It's a Polynesian place, with lots of grass decor and similar, well lit on a Sunday afternoon, and we made our way to the bar in the back, claiming three seats at the far end. The bar looked like one from a tropical destination ina touristy kind of way, in that it was grass-skirted atop, but it also had all sorts of business cards and polaroids worked in among the grass (I wouldn't be surprised if ours was now there with all the rest) that gave it a very personal and unique touch.

We were in three seats at the corner of the bar, with a blonde woman seated next to us, and it took just a moment for the big bartender to come to our end. He was a tall, imposing guy who made us a set of decent drinks, and we told him, Pat as it turned out, about the quest while at the same time telling the woman, Veronica as it turned out, the same thing. She had just come from a party where a lot of Microsoft guys had been taking E, even though it was only just getting to 7 pm, so you can tell what kind of day they were having. She had had to leave, cause it was too much for her, and was hanging at Ohana, as a lot of people seemed to be doing, cause it was their place. I like that kind of loyalty.

Pat was kept busy, so we didn't talk much with him, although Veronica made up for it. She was dressed to impress, although it was more of a vampy look than anything else, and I think she had eyes for young Christian, so it was probably for the best when we departed, leaving her slightly frazzled self behind.

The drinks were pretty good, but also pretty pricey, and only just good enough to make the price tolerable. I don't know that I'll be back, cause there was nothing very special about the place, but it wasn't too bad, either, and apparently the crowd is good once you get to know them. Sadly, we don't have that chance, and have to just evaluate on one visit, really.

You might sense a theme as I explain that Axis had just closed for the night when we went by with Melody two weeks earlier. So it was yet another pick up bar when we three made our last new stop of the night there.

The bar is nice, a long arc of shelving behind the work area holding all the bottles. The restaurant seating actually hides behind the bar, in a capacious room that you could see through the the arc of bottles. We were pleased to note that it was happy hour, from 5 to close on Sunday and Monday, and that you could get cheap food and drink, which isn't always the case. In this case, the 2.99 Kazis and Pizzas worked their magic lure on us, and Brandon and I both ended up with Kazis, while Chris and I both had pizzas.

The pizzas were good, the Kazis were better (Mandarin is highly recommended), and our bartender Dustin was informative. He lived near the bar, drank all though the area when he once upon a time could (he's got a little girl now, so he doesn't go out like he once did) and recommended Cutter's for their Bloody Marys. I love a good bloody mary, although I hate a bad one, cause it's a drink that's easily messed up, so I was happy to get a rec for a good one.

We lingered in Axis for a while, making recommendations for the 727 bar which were taken by several people, and discussing bars in general and the quest. It was a nice stop, and I like Axis a lot, especially the happy hour potential, which will surely bring me back when I'm in the area sometime after this is all done, if perhaps it's not so likely before.

I seem to recall that Glen picked up the bar, but I'm never so sure on that, what with him living 3000 miles away and all.

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Out in West Seattle it would be easy to miss this place and I don't necessarily recommend that you don't. It is your fairly typical nice restaurant with high priced steaks and high priced drinks. They claim to have steaks as good as the Met but for less. Word is they come close. But we were there for drinks.

Alan picked up another sponsorship and we appreciate it. Our drinks were passable, but too expensive at $5 (at least.) The entire place is done up in dark wood and seems like the kind of place you take someone for an anniversary.

They have an upstairs section with about 3 private booths in back, and a separate upstairs section over the doorway that is much less private.

It was nice, but not for drinks. I give Jak's Grill 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

The lounge is located in the back of a run down but not down and out Indian restaurant. While the restaurant does not look that bad, the lounge portion is a total dive. It is dim, dingy, and kind of creepy.

Our drinks were cheap ($3) and strong. The crowd was older and local and we huddled together at our booth for protection and comfort. Brigit told us a story about this guy she liked which was interesting, but weird for me. There are just some stories you really don't want to hear.

Talking to the bartender at the Corner Pocket, he said that lots of people come here to get Maharajed (really drunk for cheap.) So, if you want to get yourself seriously messed up in West Seattle on the cheap, this is the place to do it. I give them 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

Located in the basement of a record store it is easy to miss the entrance (except for the big damn sign.) Walking down the stairs you enter a large room with a medium sized bar, lots of wall art, local patrons, a friendly bartender, and an internet juke box. There are, of course, several pool tables as well.

Because their cooler had broken, they had a big bucket of ice in which all of their of their bottles were splayed out in. They looked very inviting, despite the fact that I don't drink much beer anymore.

We talked to the bartender a whole bunch and he was very cool. He taped our card up on a pole behind the bar. I wonder if it is still there. We don't get up into West Seattle much, so it is hard to do a revisit.

Their drinks were pretty good and priced at about $3.50. Bridgit picked up another sponsorship, showing her powerhouse pickup skillz. Our thanks go out to her.

I liked this little watering hole and with the internet juke box (which Bridgit futzed with a whole lot) they had good music. I give the Corner Pocket 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

After three tries, we finally managed to make it into the Croc. And it wasn't worth the wait. The bar's way in back, and it's tacky if interesting for a moment. There's flying sheep with fires shooting from their asses, a papier mache crocodile that's likely seen better days (or was made really poorly) and various tropical/jungle/bayou accessories. It's a "hip" place, which means a lot of pretentious people sit around and smoke, and they're probably pretty fun to know, but if you don't, they're just vaguely annoying.

The drinks were neither strong nor, surprisingly for a dive, reasonably priced. With as much speed as we could muster, we departed, and I for one was very disappointed. Not that it matters, the place is an institution, but could there at least be a reason?

Oh, wait. It's for the music, which we weren't there for. So go to see your favorite band, but skip the bar.

After our detour around Sam the Shoe Shine Man, we hurried to the nearest bar to the south, which happened to be Kells, an Irish pub. It was totally packed at the bar, with a loud and slightly drunken crowd of what could only be regulars. Brandon and I ended up getting a table and Brandon fought to get our drinks from the burdened bartender, who was having all sorts of problems with his register.

The place was hot and stuffy and dim, and there's not much to it, if you're not part of that bar crowd. The drinks were of acceptable strength, but that's not really going to win me over at this point. We figured there were other bars to hit, and of course there were, so after a bit of talk and a decision that the place was just too warm, we moved on into the cooler night air.

We went out with Melody a couple weeks ago, and we were supposed to meet up with her husband Scott at the Frontier Room. But the Frontier Room, in addition to sucking enormously, is closed on both Sundays and Mondays. As it was a Monday when we appeared, there was nothing for us to do but wait outside for Scott, since we didn't have any way to get a hold of him.

Enter Sam.

There was a guy sitting in front of the gated door next to the Frontier Room. I can only assume it's some sort of cheap apartment housing, cause I guess he lives there. He's a caramel sort of brother with an Amish style beard, and he shines shoes there. It's a bait and switch kind of deal, cause he says it's only a quarter.

Brandon was wearing boots that had seen better days. Sam offered a shine. Sean and I both offered the quarter, so Brandon had to go along.

And it was quite the shine. A long, slow work, full of skill and pride. Every step handled with care. And when the finished product was revealed, a boot full of polish, Sam smiled and said it was a quarter for the first boot.

Then he laughed, and went to work on the other foot while all of us laughed after a moment. It was funny, but he did mention he worked for tips, and it was a great gimmick. Brandon got the other boot shined with just as much attention to detail, and tipped Sam a few bucks.

You would think that would be it.

However, we still had to drink at the Frontier Room. When we tried to come back, the following Sunday with Chris, Sam was there, in his spot, and he called out to Brandon, asking how he was doing. We were all wearing sneakers, a lucky chance, cause Brandon almost wore his other pair of (still dull and dusty) boots, and I almost wore my Doc Marten's shoes. Then Sam holds out his hand, and Brandon goes to shake it (cause what else can you do?) and it turns into the manly hug. You know, hands clenched in a shake, arm loosely around the shoulder, two or three thumps, then break.

What do you do when the shoe shine guy recognizes you, and gives you the manly hug?

You flee in terror, is what.

The Frontier Room was closed, of course, cause it was Sunday, but we hadn't known. Sam kindly told us as we approached the door.

Which meant we would have to come back.

And we did, just two short days later. And realized we were wearing the boots and the Docs, and that there would be trouble if Sam was there. Which he was. We saw him from kitty corner across the street, and we made south away from him, fleeing in odd terror from the thought of him immediately starting in on a shine before we could do anything. Such polite urbanites, we are.

A while later, two bars later, we thought we'd sneak up on Belltown Billiards, around the corner from his haunt, and then make a dash past him, skipping the Frontier Room once again. Cause you've got to do what you've got to do.

But he wasn't there when we finished with Belltown Billiards, so to avoid ever having to come back again and maybe getting cornered by him, we went in for a drink that was probably one too many, but oh, well. That's the price you pay to not be so popular with the local color.

And after all that, the Frontier Room sucked. Lo, how the mighty have fallen.