After spending almost three developing film I realized that I was in no condition to go home and right bar reviews. Instead, drinking seemed like the most reasonable course of action. Jason twisted my arm and I could resist his compelling of argument of, “Are you sure you want to just go home?” How can argue with such a well-reasoned and logical argument like that.

For our first trick, we decided to hit the Tin Hat and try to drop off a card to Maia (finally.) Now some of our original will remember that Maia’s name was listed as Mia. As it turns out this is wrong. Instead her name is Maia, and in our drunken stupor of that first night we mis heard her (easy to do if your clouded mind is filling in the blanks.) Now if you have been reading us from the beginning you will notice that the original Tin Hat post listed her as Mia. In fact, Jason’s probably still does. But as is my wont I will simply go back and correct misspellings and the like rather than comment their correction. This brings up a whole separate issue I supposed but well, tough.

Anyhow, back to the issue at hand. When we walked into the Tin Hat, I thought that I saw Maia, but it had been more than 2 months so I was a little cloudy on exactly what she looked like. I think it was the hanging ponytails that threw me off. I asked the bartender if she was working (and he corrected my Mia to Maia) and pointed her out. We went to sit down and she came around the corner and we did the shuffle dance trying to get past one another but always guessing the same direction. She definitely seemed to recognize us.

The best part though was that she comes over with a slip of paper with name written on it correctly. Then she asks, “What do you Rock Stars want to drink.” She called us Rock Stars. How freakin’ kewl is that. There was also a group of people off to my left who made some comment to Jason about how much we had to drink (in good fun.) They obviously (to Jason) knew who we were. They recommended that we go here.

Maia came back over and talked with us for a while. It turns out that a bunch of people here read the site and we didn’t even give them a card. I am still not sure exactly how they found out specifically what it was called, but I will simply assume that they are smart, and typed 570 bars into a web browser and found us. If they got it through word of mouth though, that is truly excellent.

Now this portion of the night ended with Maia comping us our drinks and we setting up a time for her to go out with us. I hope that she does in fact make it out with us on Tuesday, thus further ensconcing her in the history of 570 bars as the first bar staff to go out with us to a bar. Oh and since I know people from her bar have read the site, I hope that I didn’t just get her in trouble by mentioning the drink compage. But what can I say, it is the coolest and it only makes us love Maia and the Tin Hat even more (if that was possible.)

Now from there we went to craptastical Acorn Eatery, which fortunately became a smoking establishment 5 minutes before we got there (it is non-smoking till 10 PM) So for those of you at home keeping track, that means that we actually got there at 9:50 PM. Bonus points to those people who can figure what the hell I am talking about. The place was nice enough but we ended up sitting next to this bleach blonde woman (with just a little too much “tan”.) She seemed nice enough, but once she got talking at us about books, there was no escaping. I had never heard of anything that she was talking about, but Jason said to me later that it was all at the top end of the Beach Book class. We did learn that there is a professional chalk board artist who does all of the chalkboards for the local restaurants (Acorn, the Met, Hiram’s, Eliott’s, etc …)

I managed to shield our escape with talk of going to more bars, but really I just dropped Jason off at home and called it an evening.

Despite the great suckatude of the Acorn, it could in no way diminish the fact that Maia called us Rock Stars. How fucking cool is that. I must say that I really am starting to feel like a rock star (see the next post more of what I talking about.)

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

IaoC (I can’t even bring myself to spell it out again) is the stupidest name that I have heard. I very much wanted Jason to tell me that he was kidding when he told me where we were going. I did not believe him at all. I figured it must have been the small type next to the name rather than its god given proper name. But god would never name something that stupid.

The place is big and built for tourists. It looks like the place that a cruise ship drops its load of tourists for a meal and a drink and the loads them on later and leaves. The bar area itself is nothing special, although it does have stupid looking clams on a sign outside the “Clam Diggers Bar.” Now I like kitsch. Kitsch is good. But this crosses the line of cute and kitsch and firmly enters into the arena of a good idea gone moronic. The theme is high end haphazard nautical; shiny brass, ship steering wheels, and lots of clam themes. All in all, very drab with no real mood, lighting, or anything even resembling interesting.

It was Saturday night and the place was not crowded. Despite this, our service was horribly slow. It got to the point where I walked the 3 steps from our table to the bar asked if our drinks were ready and brought them back to the table by hand. Lets just say that I tipped him 8% and he should be happy that I am not forcing him to pay the government for our slow drinks. Even I have standards.

My drink was below average but passable. That is until I noticed the $4.50 price tag (I think. I misplaced my notes.) The face Jason made was not pretty. Needless to say we got out of there as fast as we could pay the bill.

Now I will not go so far as to say that this place was worse than Von’s but the name IAoC really, really, really, wants me to award the bottom spot. But the alcohol was not bottom shelf and my drink was passable, if overpriced. I do however give IAoC a solid 1 Martini Glass out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Denny’s

Red Robin was an unexpected surprise. I used to eat at the one in Bellevue all of the time and the food is pretty good. I have never gotten a mixed drink here though, so this would be a new experience. As expected, the décor was exactly what I expected. It looks just like every other Red Robin I have ever been too; Lots of Americana, giant overdone busts of who knows what, too much red, and swoopy counters dripping in brass.

The drink was decent and I imagine strictly proscribed by headquarters. For $3.59 who is complaining? As with all Red Robin’s it is non-smoking. It does have a view of the water, if the boats are not in the way. When we got there, the boats were all in port and off loading prom guests who would now go out and go somewhere other than Red Robin (I would hope at least.)

Craig the bartender is quite a good guy. He has been working here since they opened 9 years ago. Strange fact: this location is the 100th Red Robin that was opened in the country and the first on the waterfront. We chatted with a number of the bar staff and about strip clubs in Oregon.

All in all, it is what you would expect. It is a Red Robin. The well drinks are fairly cheap, but decent. The place is nice, non-smoking, and family oriented, but if you are looking for those 3 things, then it’s going to be a wild night. Woo-hoo.

Thanks to Nick for his first Sponsorship of our fair quest.

-wOOt

Out of the blue, our friend Nick called. Turns out that Everquest has not completely devoured his brain and instead he wanted to come out and do something. Booze is an added bonus. His call pushed our timetable up a bit, but we were ready to go and said goodbye to our no going out friends and headed to the U-district to pick him up.

From there it was to the Pier to pick up as many as possible in a 3-hour tour. We are also supposed to meet my co-worker down there between 10 and 10:30. Scott has shown interest and he seems like a good guy, so I am willing to give him a chance. Who knows, he might even consider picking up a sponsorship (which is always a good thing.)

Our first stop (while we killed some time before going to Elliot’s) was Ivar’s Acre’s of Clams. I can not rant about the stupidity of this name enough. I also noticed the other day that there is also an Ivar’s Salmon House (which is fine.) Jason told me they used to have a bunch of these, each with their own theme and name. The food may be good but I will never find and out. Walk over to Elliot’s instead and enjoy their wonderful service and exquisite environment. While at IAoC Nick regaled with some stories about how they regularly kill gods in Everquest and how easy it is to get sucked back in. We are trying to shame him into dropping the game, but the reality is that an addict won’t quit until they are ready to quit or you cut off their phone line and internet service.

From there it was over to Elliot’s. Ethan treats us so well. I have been there twice and Jason three times and we treated like the best regulars. I won’t go into more than that, but they continue to impress us with their curiosity, their friendliness, and their service. Scott never showed and we were there till almost 11:00. Turns out he got home and fell asleep. I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt this time, but if it happens again …

I forgot the best part of the night. It is a Saturday night, on the Pier, during Prom season. The Prom goers were out in force and damn they crack me up. My favorite was the guy with black pants, a white jacket, blonde spiky hair, and silver sunglasses with dark lens on his head. What a dumb ass. There was a sweet moment (one of the few that I actually thought was sweet) when I noticed a couple walking down the pier. The girl had on this weird black and red dress and then guy was just dressed in pants and a shirt. As we got closer it dawned on me that he had given her his jacket. It was a nice touch that I really liked. Otherwise, it was all just very funny. Of course, I didn’t go to my senior prom (I went to my Junior Prom, but that is story without a happy ending.)

From Elliot’s it was over to the Red Robin on the Pier. We had a surprising good time and chatted with much of the staff. Red Robin does have the best honey mustard in Seattle. Honey mustard and fries are good. After Red Robin is was a 14-block walk to the other end. Nick was walking funny by the end of the walk. I think I saw a goldfish swimming behind his eyeball. Might have been an illusion though, I’m not sure.

We went into Chez Gus by accident, thinking it was the Waterfront (god there is no way to get them confused.) Chez Gus has nothing going for it, but a large metallic bulldog. Considering that the well drink at the Waterfront was reasonably priced, you should just walk down the pier and skip this place. Mind you, we had to pick up Chez Gus anyway (even if we didn’t know it) so it was a fortuitous mistake.

We missed the Waterfront because the sign is small and does not include an arrow. This is because if you are looking for the Waterfront you already know what you are looking for. Chez Gus sure as hell is not it. Instead take a long walk down the pier and turn right at the end. Walk fifteen feet and there it is, in all of its glory.

I can’t say enough good things about this bar and Jesse our bartender. This man is awesome. The highlight of the night started when we got Jesse talking about Rum. The Waterfront has one of the best rum selections in Seattle and Jesse likes to show off. We were happy to oblige by being interested (which we were) and being interesting (by asking insightful and enthusiastic questions.) Maybe they were not insightful questions, but they were enthusiastic.

Jesse showed us this cool woven bottle of British Naval Rum. They are the only known sellers of this rum in the entire world. The story behind it is great. Back when the British Navy still drank rum on board (a lot) they had these giant casks of rum that were constantly filled and emptied. They were never fully emptied though and so the age of the rum would fortify the new rum. Eventually however, the last of these casks were sold off/given away and the owner of The Waterfront bought a lot of it (I’m not exactly sure how much.) They are now selling it at $200 a glass and I want one.

After talking with Jesse for about 10 or 15 minutes he told us about how some rums have vastly different flavors than the average rum drinker is used to. Having only drank mid shelf rum (at best) I had very little idea what he was talking about. Without any prompting he disappeared for a second and showed us a bottle of $18 a shot Rum called Plantation Gold, Pirates Reserve. He then comped us a “taste” of this stuff. He poured maybe a third of a shot into a glass and showed us some tricks on how to appreciate rum and test its quality. There was enough in there for the 3 of us to have about 2 sips each. Now I can not even begin to describe how good this rum was. Its bouquet was incredible and its flavor was the most amazing thing I have ever tasted out of booze. There was the smell of orange, and fall, and musk. There was so much there and all I know is that Jason almost wept and I just could not stop sniffing the glass like an idiot. Except for the coolness of experience I felt as if I was getting to peak into the life of the rich and famous but I was not allowed to stay. I really want to stay. But not tonight.

Much thanks to Jesse and props to Nick for picking up the Waterfront Sponsorship.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Average

I have very little to say about this place. Located on the waterfront it is facing the wrong way. From here you can see the Spaghetti Factory and some very nice buildings, all of which have a good view of the water. From the plate glass to the left you could kind of see some water and twinkling, but this is not what we would call an “excellent view.”

The drink was strong but for $4.50 that is average. At some point we were talking about drinks and I think the Frontier room came up. I have never been there, but I guess they used to pour drinks and would add “Coke for Color.”

Standing in the center of the room is a lonely pool table that really wants to be played with. It gazes longingly at the Golf Game, which is quite popular. Nick even pulled out his Golden Tee membership card that stores all of his playing information and his handicap (or something.) Personally I think it is a tracking device planted by the Everquest people to keep track of him when he is not online. They still haven’t figured out how to enhance Everquest with drunkenness and they figure that is all they need to lock down the MMORPG market.

The only truly interesting thing about the place (besides its diner counter) was the big metal bulldog by the front door. Jason said that it was in the Real World Seattle house. It is actually quite cool and has a sign that says, “Push back before operating.” For a quarter it will spring forward, bark, and flash. Kind of lame but what do you want for a quarter, 20 minutes of long distance?

I give Chez Gus 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Upscale

The Waterfront is located at the most northwestern corner of the piers. Specifically it is on Pier 70 (which is right before the more easily located Spaghetti House.) It is easy to miss the entrance to the walkway the leads to the Waterfront as the sign is small and does not provide any easy to follow arrows. This gives the Waterfront a secretive and special feel. After strolling for a good couple of minutes down the stretch of dock, it turns and reveals an open area for seating. Oh, and don’t go up the stairs, they don’t go anywhere. Trust me.

Staring out across the water from this small jutting pier, the lights twinkle and dance. The smell of the sea air fills my lungs as the soft splashing of water soothes my drunken senses. Turning the Waterfront greets you with a large gorgeous expanse of dining area with great hanging lamps, pure style and chic, and the sense that if you bring a date here, you better be getting laid tonight. Walking around the sparsely populated dining area (it is midnight on a Saturday) over to the bar, we hop up onto the bar stools.

The bar is just amazing. The bar itself is made of white glass. Four colored lights flow beneath its surface bathing the entire area in a very soft but beautiful glow. I found myself getting lost in the colors, once I realized what was going on. Leaning against the padded bar I am happy to just stare at the ever-shifting blues to purples to greens to peaches.

The drinks come in elegant glasses and are of a good quality. Priced at $4.50 I am learning an important rule. Very nice places have (relatively) inexpensive well drinks. I would be happy to come down here on a nice evening and sit on the deck, stare at the water, and sip my well drink. Jesse, our bartender, pours an excellent drink and was happy to chat. He showcased the Waterfront’s rum collection for us and it is quite impressive. Oh, and while I really loved the Met as well I thought I should let you in on something that can save you $100. If you are looking to try a shot of the McCellan’s (sp?) 1946 whiskey, come to the Waterfront instead. Here it is only $200 a shot rather than the $300 a shot at the Met. Now maybe they were not actually the same Whiskey, but if you have $200 to drop on a glass of booze, you should at least get your money’s worth.

I talked with Christie the waitress there briefly (who was quite attractive) about the destruction of the Porfidio crop and how they are no longer exporting it to the US. This Porfidio issue is amazingly big. I had no idea how many people liked this stuff.

The only downside to the Waterfront is how expensive everything non-well is. Most of the drinks are reasonably priced, but the food is priced (and looks excellent) the specialty drinks are expensive but of high quality. If you are willing to just enjoy the atmosphere and not stretch beyond your means this is an incredible place. If you are bringing a date here, you better be getting laid. At least I don’t plan on spending this type of money on a woman I don’t want to spend the rest of my life.

I give the Waterfront a much-deserved 5 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

I was just looking up some info on Porfidio and found this article. I don't know who to believe now.

Hi All,

I am not sure where we are going on June 4th, but I do know that we will be meeting at the Tin Hat promptly at 9:30. If there are newbies to the tour who show we will stop into the Tin Hat for a drink (probably) and if not, we will motor on to our first bar of the night (it has not yet been picked.)

The highlight of this little excursion (I hope, since it is not yet confirmed) is that Maia will be going out with us. Now if she does, she will become the first Bar Staff to accompany us out on a night. She will simply become our girl of firsts. A higher place of esteem could not be found.

-wOOt

(Compliments of Davi'd at Bad Albert's)

Didgeridoo Poker has some very basic rules. You and at least one other person pick a random group of people. Then you bet on how may people in that group know what a Didgeridoo is. Basically you say, "I'll bet you that 3 of those 5 people know what a Didgeridoo is." Guess right and you take the pot.

Now there are lots of variations on this game I imagine (in terms of how betting goes) but the basics always stand.

Now for our group of four, Davi'd guessed two, but was wrong as all four of us knew what one was (heck I even tried and failed horribly to play one.)

-wOOt

Perhaps it is a little early to believe that I have even the most basic grasp on how to get comped drinks. We have a couple of early successes and all of a sudden it is like we are "the drink masters." Now I will definitely say that this is not the case, but we have noticed a couple of things.

1) Upscale Bartender's have a lot more leeway (generally) than average or working class bartenders to comp drinks. Because these bartenders's are dealing with a higher class of patron and generally much higher sums of money they have a free-er hand in making the patrons feel welcome and well disposed to their establishment.

2) Be interested and interesting - Don't be lump on a log and think that by saying hi to the bartender he will sling you a free drink. We were at the Waterfront (not posted just yet) and we were "comped" about a third of shot (maybe) of $18 a shot rum. We were interested in their rum selection and noticed this particular $200 shot they had on the menu. We talked to the bartender for at least a good ten minutes about various things (our quest, the history of rum, etc ...) and then he poured a "taste" to demonstrate how amazing good rum can be (and it was amazing.)

3) Go when it is slow - If you go when it is hoping (unless you are a tried and true regular) then the bartender will have no time to chat with you and realize that you deserve free stuff. Bored bartenders like to be entertained and if you can keep their attention for ten to twenty minutes, you may just find yourself mysteriously comped.

4) Tip well - Sure you just scored free stuff, but whenever you are comped, you better tip the bartender well. Perhaps even to the level of what he comped you. If you don't, don't ever expect to get comped by that bartender again. At one place, we got comped a total of 3 drinks, and then were charged a reduced price on the drinks themselves. The $25 bar tab (minimum) came up as $10.50 when it was laid in front of us. I dropped a $9.50 tip on that to an even twenty and came out at $5 up (probably more since the comped drink did not taste like well.)

So remember, they are just people who happen to have the ability to give away free drinks. Entertain them and they will pay you in booze. Piss them off and you will be drinking tonic.

-wOOt

Alan, Bridgit, Brandon and I made our way to Bad Albert's finally, and it was a great place to stop for the night. The bar was just plain friendly, the sort of place where the staff just kind of insert themselves into your conversations, in a wacky sort of way, and just passing by. The people at the next table might do the same, also.

The drinks were fine, and since we weren't going anywhere else, Bridgit decided we would have a couple of rounds. So over the next hour or more, we sat and drank and talked with Daveed the bartender/waiter person, who has a didgereedoo test that he does with tables; with the girls at the next table one of whom worked at Bad Albert's, who were trying to get a trivia challenge ready for the next night at the Old Pequliar. They said they wanted me on their team the week after, but no call for that, so their loss, cause I am the master of the trivial.

We ran into Shannon from the bookstore, too, which was kind of odd, since I don't think I've ever seen him outside work. Ever.

Anyway, we all had a great time at Bad Albert's, which was about the most fun I've had at a bar, partly cause of the people, partly cause it was the end of a long day of drinking, and I was pretty lit.

And Bridgit picked up her third bar sponsorship. Thanks, Bridgit.

Stella's in no longer a 24 hour restaurant. This makes me sad. To be honest, they only close four nights a week, and it's not for all that long, but still. Seattle's got very few places to go for food at 3 am, and the loss of weeknight
Stella's dining makes me sad.

Oh, well. On to the review.

Stella's is in the same chain as Trattoria Mitchelli's, downtown on Yesler. Pretty much, everything in the whole place is the same. The layout is a bit different, but the food and the drinks are the same. The staff was a bit more dull, so there's not much to say.

The drinks were fine, but nothing special. The food was still pretty good. But you can't get it at 4 am on Tuesday anymore. Did I mention I was sad about that?

The Acorn is an eatery that after about 10 pm switches over to just a bar. At that point, you can also smoke, which is really the key indicator. Also, they were taking away the candles from the table, that sort of thing, so we had just, happily, missed the dining hour.

So, the drinks. Not strong. Not worth writing any more about.

The staff. The bartender was spending a lot of time away from the bar, talking to a couple of his friends who were leaving town, and while I like that, cause it means he's a mellow bartender, it also means he's not much behind the bar, and there's little chance to talk.

The crowd. There was a tanned, blond, almost forty year old next to us, who wanted to talk, and so we did. She was nice enough, although I think she'd been putting back a bit much of the chardonnay (or whatever white wine it was) and so she was a bit verbose. We talked about books, and I haven't really read much of what she was talking about. Top end of beach books, really, the sort of book you buy for your mom who likes to read when you don't know much about what she likes to read. Good books, but not great literature, really.

The place itself. Kind of decent looking, I don't mind it at all, but it was nothing special. Locationally, the Acorn isn't really near any other bars at all, and so I can't recommend it much, cause I've started to think about the always-present bar crawl option.

The Acorn wasn't anything particularly good or bad. Sadly, I think that's going to be the case more and more.

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Average

Now I hesitate to category this as an Average Bar. My inclination is to label it a dive, but it was nicer than your typical dive. The patrons, however, are definitely dive patrons and they a little scary. Located in Greenwood, across the street from the Baranof and the China Jade, they have a lot to live up to in terms of drink strength. Thankfully, they did manage it. I didn’t hear my ice crying, but there may have been whimper from one of them. My G&T was strong, but not that strong. Of the 3 Vodka Cran’s though, each was slightly pinker than the last one. Clarkie (our lovely sponsor for the Crosswalk) said something about how there was not enough Cran for all 3 and that the bartender just made up the lack in booze. I didn’t hear any complaints. The main selling point of the Crosswalk is the fact that the drinks here are $2.50, which is even cheaper than the Baranof.

Walking into the Crosswalk, it is easy to just look at the place itself. It is long and skinny. A long bar (one of the longest I’ve seen) stretches far into the bar. Tables line the wall next to it, and then there are additional tables in the back. Further back, there is another room with four pool tables, some darts (I think) as well as various other amusements. After talking to the bartender Clarkie said that “other amusements” could be scored in the bathroom apparently if you just waited around long enough. God knows I would not want to spend any more time in the bathroom than was absolutely necessary.

Of the 3 women in the Crosswalk, one was attractive, and we brought her with us. The other two were kind of old and kind of scary. I think one was a biker chick and the other a blue-collar woman. The men were all definitely working class (if they were working at all.) Jason recommended that we use the buddy system if we were to come back here again (which I don’t see.) The Crosswalk was a very exciting moment for us though because Maia, the waitress/goddess from the Tin Hat came out with us and had a drink. We could have picked a slightly better spot, but the moment has been seized and history has been made. I do wonder if all the praise we (mostly I) have heaped on her had made her wonder about us. I hope not, as it has all been meant in good spirit.

On a bizarre side note, while we were there, the music coming from the jukebox was kind of strange. We heard Mambo #5 and a couple of other songs that seemed very out of place considering the rough looking patrons. I would have expect Lynard Skinnard or Tool or someone like that. But instead we got Lou Bega. How odd.

So I would not recommend going to the Crosswalk as a destination, but I would recommend hitting it as part of the Greenwood Trio of Doom. I give it 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 for the sheer entertainment potential of watching your friend get into a fight with someone for knocking into them while they are playing pool.

-wOOt

It’s my second to last photography class and I can feel the weight of my work coming down on my shoulders. How I am supposed to sift 1000 photos down to about 6 great ones and a total set of work of about 20, is still beyond me.

From class it was off to Ballard to meet Jason and Maia. Jason was currently doing trivia with the girls we met from Bad Albert’s. He called me to tell me to wait at the Tin Hat cause he was going to be a little while. They were close to the end and in the running to win. I headed over to the Tin Hat to meet up with Maia. Now if you have been reading, then you hopefully you know the background of Maia. In short, Maia is the first we ever told about our quest and the fact that she did not crush the idea between her thumb and forefinger gave us the confidence to entertain you today.

I got to the Tin Hat just as Sean and Clarkie (Jason and Sean’s new roommate) showed up. I didn’t even know Clarkie was in town yet. He had arrived yesterday but nobody saw fit to tell me. It’s not as if I am the short list of people who should know this crap or anything. Inside Wolf was already warming a seat and sipping a drink. Maia was unfortunately no where in site.

About 10 minutes and several cases of the joint later, Maia walked into the back. Turns out she was sitting at the counter and hadn’t seen us when she walked in. I was quite relieved to see her. I was not so secretly afraid that our good luck charm was going to peter out on us. She know has three important firsts: First person to be told about our quest, First person to call us Rock Stars, and First bar staff to come out drinking with us.

Finally I got tired of waiting for Jason and called Beth’s cell phone number to find out what was up. He said to come pick him up. After much debate (pre-call) we decided to go back to the Crosswalk for a drink. It was the bar that we failed to pick up because the Baranhof and the China Jade kicked our asses. I picked up Jason and we all headed over there (sans Wolf.)

Upon arrival he sat down in back. As the conversation progressed we tried not to scare Maia and I think we managed to not convince her that we were total freaks. After being at the Crosswalk for about 5 minutes a guy walked in and over to our table. I kept looking at him because he looked familiar. As it turned out, it was Jeff, Maia’s fiancé of about a week and half earlier. She even showed us the pull tab that she was using as her impromptu engagement ring (it was quite a cute story.)

I kept looking at Jeff and I could not for the life of me figure out where I knew him from. He definitely recognized me as well. I suspect that he simply knew where he knew me from first and then offered to sell me the information for a dollar. I was game, but he refused to accept my dollar. Jeff was managing the Green Tortoise youth hostel when I arrived in Seattle and that is why I know him. Small world I tell you. But this sort of shit happens to me all the time. Jeff is a great guy and I hope that he and Maia are very happy together.

I think that addition of Clarkie to mix helped stir things up but we were in rare form this evening. There was talk of David Mamet and the Spanish Prisoner. Jason did a terrible impression of Jack Lemmon from Glengary Glenn Ross. It was truly terrible and he wouldn’t let it go. I suspect he had a couple of drinks at the trivia night.

The night went well and it was great to have Maia come out with us. She is very smart girl and quite funny. Jeff was kind of quiet, but I think he was mostly there to make sure that we weren’t freaks or killers or anything strange like that. You know I was going to make a joke in bad taste, but I think I was just hold my tongue since I’m not sure people would know I was kidding (even after I told them so.)

Instead, I’ll just say

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood
Class: Dive

There is not a lot to be said about Ed’s Kort Haus, but it can be summed up succinctly.

1) Don’t order cranberry juice (it is brown)
2) The place is not big, but there are numerous amusements
3) Don’t order cranberry juice (it is brown) and I would probably avoid any other juice as well
4) Wyath, the bartender, was pretty cool, but he did not warn us about the cranberry juice and is marked down for that
5) Don’t order the … well you get the idea.
6) It has a cool U-shaped bar, but not a lot of seating.
7) All in all, it is a typical Neighborhood bar, but there is not a lot of reason to go out of your way other than to go for a drink after buying a burger at the Red Mill (which is excellent I might add.)

I give Ed’s Kort Haus 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Tonight was the end of a painful portion of my life. Every Wednesday a group of friends and I would get together for this project we were working on. It turned out, that this was not the best mix of my friends that we could have picked. By the end, I prayed for death often. Finally, tonight, the project was completed and this group of people never had to spend time together as a whole. This makes me very happy. Individually, they are all good people. Together, they are a pain in the ass and I usually put myself in the middle to no appreciable effect. But then again, I hate to see my friends fight or be unhappy and despite the fact that I am great at solving other people’s problem, no one ever listens to me. Of course, I can’t solve my own problems, but that is a separate issue entirely.

So after we completing this project of futility it was time for a drink. It had to strong and close. Thus we made out way up to Ed’s Kort Haus for some German drinking. It might be Austrian, but it is hard to say. Our drink there was fairly quick, but it was good to vent a little finality for once. Usually the venting is just bitching about what is going on how we seem to be making no appreciable progress. This time, since we put the final nail in the coffin, we good dissect it with the full knowledge that we were done.

The drink was quick. We talked to Wyeth the bartender briefly about the brown cranberry and then called it a night. Not much to say.

Umm,

-wOOt

I guess.

A great night.

We picked up our friend Nick and headed for the waterfront, and we were supposed to meet one of Brandon's coworkers, so we arranged to meet him at Elliott's. But before that we had time for a bar, and I'll just say you should avoid Ivar's Acres of Clams at all costs.

We went to Elliott's and spent most of an hour there waiting for Brandon's coworker. He didn't show, but we didn't care, cause we had a great time at what is very rapidly becoming my absolute favorite bar. Ethan's the greatest, and Joe's pretty damn cool too, and we ran into Michelle who used to work at Bucca de Beppo, and was our waitress when Brandon's mom was in town last year.

Red Robin was a pleasant surprise, and although the long, long walk to the further reaches of the waterfront was a bit rough on young Nick's bladder, we perservered and had a great time in our final destination, Waterfront, which is a truly great bar.

A very good night, June 1st.

There's too many bars for me to waste much time on the crappy ones.

This is a crappy one.

My drink was weak, the bartender didn't bring it at all quickly (as in, not within five minutes) and we had to get them ourselves in the end.

The place should be avoided like crabs.

I didn't have high expectations going into Red Robin. I don't think very highly of the whole chain restaurant bar idea. However, it would turn out that I would be wrong.

The place is bright and pretty tacky, although there's nice movie memorabilia here and there from the 30's or so. We sat right up at the bar and ordered our drinks, and very quickly started to talk with Craig, our bartender, who told us the following facts:

He's been there 9 years, since they opened the place.
It's the 100th Red Robin in the chain.
It's the first one to be built on a waterfront.

All of which was both interesting and informative. As was the whole visit. The staff were all friendly, the fries were tasty, the drinks were pretty strong, especially for a corporate place that you would think would limit drink strength. Craig was a good guy, and we had a very fun stop there, actually.

It was very unexpected, and as a result, very pleasant. While I'll probably go to Elliott's just across the way still, for a much less pricey dinner stop, the Red Robin, with a quick drink, will now be on my list.

We walked into Chez Gus to hear them say we had time for just one drink, cause they were closing at 12. This confused us, as we were under the impression that a) they didn't close til 1, and b) they were an entirely different bar.

Due to bad sign placement, we had walked in thinking that it was Waterfront.

There's a couple pool tables, a big bar, World Cup soccer on the TV. We had drinks that weren't remarkable in any way, and talked a little with Martin and John who worked there, who were pleasant enough, but much like the drinks. Probably because it was mere moments before they closed. They told us that Waterfront was probably still busy, and was way down at the end of the pier.

So, after we polished off our drinks, and discovered that Nick has a Golden Tee member card (for the golf video game), we left, only pausing to activate their metal bulldog by the door, which I would swear came from the Real World Seattle house.

The Plantation Gold tasted like oranges and flowers and all the things of sunshine and summer. We each got to have a sip, and a second, but I'm getting ahead of myself.

Waterfront is a fancy restaurant with a long bar to one side, the glass top of which allows changing colored lights to shine through softly. I was a bit too lit to notice this, but Brandon pointed it out, and eventually I agreed with him. The bartender took our order, and Nick, not knowing what he wanted, left it up to Jesse (the bartender). Explaining Waterfront was known as a rum bar, he made Nick a rum concoction, but this started us on the road to Plantation Gold.

Jesse showed us the bar menu, which features a large assortment of alcohol, but most notably features a unique rum, Imperial Navy, I think, which is in the hundred of dollars a shot range. That's because it's a two hundred year blend of rums, now effectively discontinued, and all of it has been bought up by private clubs. Waterfront is, they believe, the only restaurant in the world to sell the stuff. And it smelled divine, strong but with subtle flavors hiding in it. Sadly, we could only smell.

But then Jesse took a brandy snifter and poured out a tiny sample of Pirate's Reserve: Plantation Gold, and presented it to us. 18 bucks a shot, and I may go back and get one, even as poor as I am, because this was a rum. Such a rum as I have never thought I'd have, didn't think even existed. A sip was enough, but a gallon would be too little. I cannot praise this rum enough.

So we passed the snifter back and forth, and we savored the flavor, and sadly, in a couple minutes, there was none left.

Waterfront was elegant, cultured, tasteful. The sort of place where they respond to your curiosity not with snobbery, the bad side of "taste", but with education. And that was a wonderful thing.

I liked Waterfront a lot. I want to return now during daylight hours and get a shot of Plantation Gold, and sit in the bright summer light sipping for a while as I find out more about rums. It would be a delight, that much I'm sure of. I highly recommend it to all.

It is Friday Night and while we are not big fans of Friday Night Bars, it is not a problem if you just pick the less interesting places. Since we were going to Madison Park, uninteresting (or at least not crowded) will be right up our alley.

The highlight for me was that Clara, a new arrival to Seattle, would be coming out with us. I met Clara the night before at Tony and Farida’s house. Now besides being a spitfire, she is also British. God I love the British accent, especially when it is intelligible. Some of the thicker British accents can get a little rough (like Cockney, hardcore Welsh or hardcore Scottish.) Hell even some of the Londoner accents can get a bit dicey when they get all excited and start talking quickly.

So I picked Jason, Clarkie, and finally Clara. Clara was happy to come out with us. Tony and Farida thought about it, but they were tired and had to get up early, so they decided to spend a quiet evening at home. Our first stop was Bing's Bodacious Burgers in Madison Park. Madison Park is not party central. It is beautiful and expensive place to own a home with quiet tree-lined streets and almost no nightlife. I suspect that the no nightlife part is actually by choice, as they don’t want to attract too many extra gawkers to the area.

Bing’s Bodacious Burgers is a nice enough place. It is better for a first or second date than just for a drink. Tracy behind the bar seemed to be in bad mood when we got there and was a little surly (but not in a good way, like Tracy at the Village Pub.) Clarkie did make a great impression by “asking” this guy to move his jacket so that the four of us could sit together at the bar. I had a great conversation with Clara about travelling and where we had been and where we wanted to go. Jason and Clarkie talked about who knows what. At some point in the evening (I think it was when the card came out) the staff and the patron’s really brightened up. Tracy became more personable, the guy who moved his jacket became interested and the women sitting to Jason’s left perked up as they had some stories to tell. Jason told me later that one of the women used to be an incredibly heavy drinker. He said something about how she and friends would start at noon and hit 18 places in the course of a day, have a shot and a beer at each place. Damn that is some heavy drinking.

After Bing's we tried to go to the only other place we have to drink in Madison Park proper. But since it was 11:03 they had just closed and would not serve us, “just one drink.” Bah. Back into the city we go then. From there it was over to Jake’s on 15th. Jake’s is a fairly uninteresting place, but we did get rock star parking right in front of the entrance. While we were Jake’s Clarkie had a great comment about Clara. “I have never heard a girl swear so much.” I think this is an approximate quote as it might have referenced a sailor instead, but I’m not sure. Oh, and on a side note, it was a bit of relief when she took out her pack of cigarettes. I try not to smoke around most people I have just met until I know their stance on the subject. Some people don’t care, some people smoke, and others are militant non-smokers. I don’t have to smoke but it is nice to when I am drinking. Jake’s had one other thing that was really annoying. Sitting in the bar area, I had the misfortune of having to watch the 11:00 news in the reflection of the glass that separated the bar and dining area. The main problem with this, was the relentlessly unappealing subject matter that kept flashing before my eyes. Let’s just say that it was not pleasant. Clarkie mentioned that he was mesmerized by the same thing and didn’t like it either.

Now in talking with Tony earlier in the week, he mentioned that Clara was deciding on whether to move out to Seattle. I guess she had not yet made that decision and that she may need some convincing. So he placed me on the “show Clara what cool people Seattle has” committee. It was my job to make sure she had a good time and decided that Seattle was the town for her. Considering how awesome she is, I embraced the job happily. How well I’ve done still remains to be seen.

From Jake's we went to that Pariah of a place, the 1200 Bistro and Bar. There is nothing wrong with the 1200 but the two times previously that we tried to go (on a Tuesday and a Thursday) they were already closed or closing and would not serve us drinks. Tonight was a Friday and they were quite open when we showed up at about Midnight, thank god. While we were there, I spotted a girl from my Photography School. I do not actually know her, but I recognized her from the lab. Our waitress, Michelle, was very attractive and had on this excellent top and pants. It was stylish and had bead and whatnot. I thought that Michelle was very attractive and the photo girl must have thought so to. About halfway through our drinks, photo girl had her camera out and Michelle was posing for her. It was very interesting to watch. I usually don’t have the balls to ask for permission to do that sort of thing. After our drinks there, it was up to Earl’s on the Ave.

Jason has long touted the strength of drinks at Earl’s on the Ave. There is in fact a small sign there that says “If you desire a somewhat slightly less strong drink please let us know. We will be glad to accommodate you.” After I took a picture of the sign, the older bar woman says in a thick Slavic accent, “Some people say I pour too strong. I put up sign so they can ask for weaker drink.” Overall, Earls was very crowded and we kind of hid off to one side at a table with a view of the pool table. Jason got to look at cute boys, but I only had eyes for Clara. I know that sounds corny, but it was true. She was a great addition to the night, although she never did get to finish a story.

For the night’s finale, we stopped where the cool hang out. We stopped at Dicks for burgers and fries. I then dropped Jason and Clarkie home and drove Clara home. She seemed to enjoy her first night out with the 570 bars guys and I hope that there are many more.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Located in the heart of hopping Madison Park this place can pretty wild. People hanging from the chandeliers, wearing bras on their heads, and ordering burgers. Ok, it is nothing like that at all, but I feel like there should be a place like that hidden in Madison Park. Who would ever expect craziness from the residents of Madison Park? Why I keep saying Madison Park is beyond me, but I think it because I am jealous and I want to live there in one of the more modest $500,000 houses on one of those tree-lined suburban streets where nothing ever happens and you could ride your big wheel down the street without fear of being run down like a dog in the road. OK, so they don’t make adult sized big wheels and I really wouldn’t recommend riding in the street, but it is still a nice image anyhow.

So about Bing’s: it is nice but uninteresting. I enjoyed my talk with Clara while I was there, but I came with Clara so I don’t think it actually counts. The bar is nice looking with an interesting pattern to bar top (I think they were mini tiles, but I don’t quite remember.) The liquor selection was average and two TVs hung at either end of the bar. There were two tiny 2 or 3 person tables to one end, but really this is just restaurant waiting room and is not equipped to entertain you in any way, shape, or form. Tracy (I think that was her name), our bartender, was surly, but not in a good way, at least not at first. She definitely did not want to be there (it was a Friday night after all) and we were just some rude, rowdy people who were impinging on her time. She perked up a bit after we told her about our quest, but my impression was pretty much made at that point. I imagine she is a good person to spend time with, but I don’t want her as my bartender.

I will say that the drinks were very tall and strong but priced at $4.75. There is outside seating, which is always excellent in Madison Park. But I really recommend that you do not come down here at night. Stick to Sunset excursions to Madison Park and then, find someplace closer to the water. Of course there are two places with spirits in Madison Park and neither of them is terribly close to the water.

I give Bing’s 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Neighborhood/Restaurant
Class: Midscale

Jake’s Bar and Grill is yet another of those innocuous little places that are littered throughout Seattle. They lack any real definition as to what they are, but yet they still fill a niche. In this case, Jake’s is located on 15th Avenue and is part of downtown 15th Ave. I know that sounds strange with Broadway not more than 6 blocks away, but 15th Avenue is really its own little neighborhood. 15th Ave is quiet, almost entirely free of bums, and is very nice. All of the shops are upscale and it really is a great place to go on a Sunday morning.

As to Jake’s, it is one of the few places that actually serves liquor up here that either isn’t a pure restaurant (the Coastal Kitchen) or a total dive (the Canterbury.) It has equally generous dining areas and bar areas. The décor is light pine and local art hangs on the wall. It is clean, quiet, and a great place to play Yatzee with your friends while drinking beer (dice not included.) The bar tables are shaped like stop signs but it otherwise lacks anything in the way of personality or interest for the average bar hopper. This includes attractive female (at least when we were there) or attractive female patrons. They did have this giant refrigerator of bottled beer that was quite interesting.

I wish I had more to say about this place, but it really lacks anything in the way of distinguishing characteristics. It is nice, clean, and ultimately uninteresting. The drinks were strong and priced at $3.50. I give Jake’s 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5 for its simple clean atmosphere and the freedom to go there and not get harassed while you play hangman.

Oh hey, Jason did mention something interesting while we were at Jake’s. Did you know that Fig Newtons are being called cookies again? I always thought they were fruit and cake.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

So we have finally conquered our Pariah of bars. The third time really is the charm. The 1200 is a very nice place with an excellent wine selection. The drinks however were, well, weak. This is especially important to note since we paid $4.50 for them. On the up side, it is a very attractive place with lots of single females available for the pickup. While my back was to the crowd in general, Clarkie mentioned that he saw at least one hook up and several other possibles in motion.

Our waitress Michelle, was excellent. Dressed in this great two-piece ensemble she fit the chic look of the place and could probably have had any guy in the place, if she wanted them. Other than Michelle, the 1200’s most notable feature is it décor. The entire place is dimly lit, and is lit by these great folded plastic hanging lamps. Each lamp is a ripple of color, green based for the lounge, orange based for the restaurant. The tables are small and close together, so get a table near someone you want to hit on for maximum effect. It is almost impossible not to start a conversation with the people next to you.

The great tragedy of the 1200 is what had to close in order for it to come into creation. Before the 1200 there was Sammy Sue’s. Sammy Sue’s was one of the great brunch places on the hill. They had amazing southern food and bisket gravy that came with complimentary defribulatation. Unfortunately, Sammy Sue (owner/cook) was told that she could not work anymore for health reasons and the place was closed. This made me very sad.

The 1200 is potentially a great place to pick up women if your timing is good. But I recommend pre-funking, sipping your drink, or ordering wine. I give the 1200 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Dive

Going from the 1200 to Earl’s is like going from the burbs to the ghetto. At Earl’s, everything is stronger, grittier, and can probably kick your ass. This includes the patrons, the drinks, and even the smell in the bathroom. Earl’s on the Ave is known for one important thing: The strongest drinks in the University District. The bar matron pours as if mixers were a sin and they had to be added due to government order. This makes the place extremely popular with the University crowd and adds to its already rough image.

Earl’s is your classic Sport’s Bar Dive. It has many amusements: pool, video games, but I didn’t see any darts. Darts are deadly weapons and you can throw three of them in about 6 seconds. For the safety of the patrons, darts, even the plastic ones, are probably not a good addition to Earl’s. The place is dirty, packed with co-eds, and it is fairly rough. There are tons of flyers and drink paraphernalia everywhere. A sign indicating No Whiners hangs by the door next to a picture of a midget dressed as a bond girl.

Ventilation is provided by high ceilings and hanging fans. Everything is exposed wood as varnish would not survive the night. There is an upper floor with more pool tables and overlooks the main area. When you squeeze your way up to the bar, use your elbows liberally in order to secure your spot.

I was significantly overdressed and felt out of place because of it. I recommend jeans and a t-shirt that you mind having blood or beer spilled on. I give Earl’s 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Today (Sunday) we get to have brunch with Jeff at the Blue Star Café, his treat. As I may have mentioned, Jeff is the man. He is not just fronting for drinks, but on breakfast as well. How great is that. I wish I knew how to repay him, other than by being a good friend.

That morning, ironically enough, I had met up with two friends of mine for a pre-brunch breakfast. I didn’t really eat, but it was good to see Ron after like a 9-month hiatus. Damn he looked good. He lost like 60 pounds and I would not have recognized him except for his patented baldhead and goatee. But after breakfast it was then off to pick up Jason and brunch.

When we got to the Blue Star, Jeff and Kristin were already there. Jeff informed us that Ryan and Stephan would be joining us. There was talk that Chris might also be there, but he never confirmed so we wrote him off. We were seated in the bar area and Jeff called Ryan to find out where the fuck he was (he was already 10 minutes late.) Instead he got their order and put it in with our food order.

Now when our waitress came over and asked if we wanted anything to drink there was a visible sigh from both Jason and myself. The night before was a party at Jason’s house. There was much drinking and it went late into the night. Neither he nor I really felt like drinking, but if it had to be done … Sigh. With much resignation I ordered a Screwdriver and Jason a Vodka Cran.

Ryan and Stephan’s timing was amazing. Just as they showed up, so did the food. Pretty well timed. Now I like Ryan, but when he arrives, most regular conversations usually have to stop. He doesn’t do it on purpose but the force of his personality crushes all smaller personalities like a planet crushes asteroids that get too close. Now the reason they were late was that Ryan and Stephan were buying a basketball. I guess last night there was some smack talk and Stephan challenged Ryan to a game of hoops (I think it was Stephan with the challenge.) There was also some wrestling last night and Stephan broke Ryan’s pinky on his left hand. This lead on to much talk about how Stephan needed to maim his opponents in order to get an advantage (he is smaller than Ryan is.)

According Jason and Jeff though, both Ryan and Stephan are what you would refer to as, “out of shape” and they smoke. We were sorely tempted to go watch this travesty of a hoops game just so that we could watch one of them pass out from exhaustion or break another limb. I know we shouldn’t laugh at our friend’s pain, but it is funny.

The rest of the meal focused on this whole basketball game and some other random topics. Kristin, who had been fairly talkative before their arrival melded into the background. I don’t think she was intimidated, but I do think that when the three of them get together (Jeff, Jason, and Ryan) they fall into old patterns of smack talk and it is tough to break in if you are not familiar with their verbal patterns.

All in all the brunch was excellent and I give mad props to Jeff and I hope that no one won the basketball game and it instead ended with the two of them passed out in the grass praying for death.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

The Blue Star Café and Pub is a good solid place located on the edge of Wallingford. It is known for its Cask Conditioned Ale and it healthy brunch menu. The food was excellent but the coffee was tepid. The drinks were decent, but beer is their specialty. The Blue Star is designed like an old newsroom. There is a checkered floor, wooden blinds and ceiling fans.

The coffee arrived in cool cobalt blue mugs and the food came with generous portions. For brunch, the Blue Star is excellent. For beer, I am told the Cask Conditioned Ale is hard to find and mighty tasty. For drinks they are so so. The brunch clientele was family oriented, so I have no idea what the night crowd looks like. It might be quite a hopping place, but I wouldn’t know.

The bar area is quite sizeable and there are lots of tables and plenty of stool seating. TVs are located at the corners and their drink specials looked excellent. All around it is nice average place. I give it 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

We had planned to meet up with Maia from the Tin Hat and hit a bar or two, but I was also invited to come along to a trivia game at the Old Pequilar by Beth from Bad Alberts, so as that started first, I went there. When we were pretty much done, Brandon picked me up, and we drove to the Crosswalk in Greenwood, and there met up with Maia, Sean and the new roomie, Clarkie.

The place was a "tough joint." Apparently the bathroom is the place to score drugs, and the rough looking crowd was a bit intimidating. There were only three women out of about thirty people at the bar, never a good sign, and one of those women was with us.

Kind of scary, overall. The drinks matched, as they were rather strong, in keeping with the immediate area and such fine places as Baranhof.

Maia's fiancee Jeff arrived a bit later, and turned out to know Brandon from three years earlier. I have since also found out that Maia was once the roommate of St'rt from the bookstore I work at, which is another odd connection. All in all, it was a great night with fun people, and I'm glad Maia came out. I'm also glad (sorry Shanda) that we have a third roommate who will go out. I'm sure Brandon likes that, too, cause it means he doesn't have to drop me off every damn night.

Our bartender Wyeth tried to explain it, but my vodka cran was still mostly brown, rather than having a healthy blush to it as I am accustomed to. It also was not so very strong. So while others have told me good things of the Kort Haus, I'm hearing none of it.

They had good music on the jukebox, is all I'll say, and then say that's not enough to counter a brown drink.

Like I said, I don't have much time to waste on unimpressive bars.

We travelled into the civilized wilds of Madison Park, Clarkie and Brandon and me and Clara, who is a lovely Englishwoman we've only just met through friends. Bing's was the first, and as it turned out, last stop in that part of town, although not for the night.

It was a small bar, and we had to ask a guy to move his coat to get four stools adjacent. Or really, Clarkie asked him. I should mention Clarkie is from Texas, and he's a bit less polite than your typical Seattlite. So his asking was more of a loud kind of demand with a half assed question mark at the end. In any case, the coat was moved, but the bartender became a bit chilly for a while.

Still, she knows how to pour. They were good drinks, and good sized, and while the price was not the lowest, it was pretty good value.

The bar is really friendly, that's a good thing about Bing's. Everyone else at the bar was interested, amused, had suggestions, something, once we explained the quest. And that's a good sign. I like a bar with people who are talkative, and fun, and they were that. We also had some decent conversation, although it was really just a base for the later stops.

So after about 30 minutes, we left to go to another bar that was closed, and then ended up heading back to Cap Hill to hit some more bars.

I liked Bing's, though, and if you're in the area, it's definitely worth a stop. They're good people.

From Bing's we went to Jake's, not far from Brandon's place. We got a table, so there was no bartender patter, but the place was still pretty nice. We had a good talk between the four of us, and we commented on the convenience store worthy beer coolers on one wall.

The drinks were tolerable, the place was okay, but there's not much more to say. It seemed like a nice sort of neighborhood hangout, but nothing at all remarkable.

Precious, precious 1200. We've been trying for this bar for literally months. It was meant to be in the first 20, but it was closing. And again, when we went by a week or two later.

But finally we were in.

Obliging patrons moved there stuff from a table they were just next to, and we sat down. Our waitress, Michelle, who had an excellent beaded sort of top, was polite, interested and pretty fast. The drinks were pretty good, and the conversation was good too, so much so that we had time for Clarkie to have a second round. That was perhaps just as well, cause with pretty strong drinks, a bit of a layover for the driver was probably a good thing.

The place is very nice looking, as we've seen on the previous trips when we just made it inside the doors. It's a sort of fancy bistro kind of place, that mostly closes when the restaurant bit does, but on the weekend appears to stay open much later. It was a very good idea of Brandon's to make the dive in, cause we had waited so long, and I wanted to just get it over with, and it turned out to be very pleasant.

It's a college bar, or rather, it's the college bar. The drinks are really, really strong. I mean, there's a sign at the bar, telling you to order them weak if that's how you want them, and they'll oblige.

There's also pool tables, darts, ramshackle furniture, a few video games, and a typically reasonably hot crowd, filled with all sorts of young and pretty types.

It's also a great place for an afterwork round.

So pretty much, while Earl's is a bit divey, I like it a lot.

Clara picked up the round, cause that's the way it's done in England, and we had all done rounds (although I must confirm which one Clarkie got; I think it was 1200), and as a result, on her first night out with us, she picked up a sponsorship. Also on the first night most of us had met her. I should mention I really liked Clara, and hopefully didn't come off as some twit, which is rather my expectation, cause I'm goofy when I'm drunk.

We talked a while, drank a bit, looked at the pretty people around us, and cleared out as soon as we were done. Earl's is pretty packed most nights, too, so the crowd being thick, we weren't so in to it. But it's still a good bar.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Dive

Before we arrived I was told that the 5 Point is where you go to see a fight and a flash on an average night. It can be a rough place and women flashing their tits and twat are quite common. While we got to see the Polaroid wall, we did not actually get to witness any fighting or flashing. I guess Tuesday night is a little more sedate than usual.

The 5 Point is located down the street from the Space Needle and looks like a normal place from the outside. On the inside, it is a total dive. When I use the term dive normally I mean it in the worst possible way. The best example here is Cadillac Jacks. For the 5 Point, I say with a strange affection for those places that I just don’t feel tough enough to spend a lot of time for fear that when it comes time for me to put up or shut up, I am going to … well … shut up. The place is split in half into a small greasy spoon on one side and a divey bar on the other. Neither side is very big but that just adds to its rough feeling. The patrons are a mix of skinheads, punks, college students, off duty “working” girls, and the like. We even saw someone there who we heard was dead. But since we never speak to zombies, we did not make contact.

The greasy spoon side has small tables, a medium counter, and looks just like a well-worn greasy spoon. The bar side has 5 booths, a medium sized bar and lots of bizarre dive paraphernalia. There is a giant moose head with panties and bras hanging from its snout and antlers. The bar is cramped for the bartenders, but they have a Polaroid wall there that is worth a look. If you can convince the bartender to let you back there.

Scott and Melody (Our Sponsors for the Evening) know Ollie, a bartender there. He took us on a quick tour of the Polaroid “wall.” It is a line of Polaroids behind the bar that are of various people flashing and a number of pussy shots. It was quite impressive actually.

In the men’s bathroom you can see the Space Needle in this reflector in from of the urinal. We could not really make it out when we got there because the Space Needle was not lit up (safety concerns and all that.) I did see the flashing red dot at the top though. Whoopee.

Our waitress, Shayla was dressed to kill and probably would have if given half a chance. Dressed in black and red with spikes, round links, and ripped nylons, she is everything I have ever wanted in a punk girl. The fact that she fills out both her blouse and skirt is a nice addition.

I wish I knew how much the drinks were but Scott and Melody would not let us anywhere near the bill. What we got was strong and I cannot imagine them being expensive. The patrons would rise up and crush the bartender’s if they even though about charging 4 bucks here. We got 2 pounds of fries and man were they excellent. Medium cut, and deep-fried, they were devoured quickly and left me wanting more.

So I’ll stop talking about the 5 Point other than to say that they have a great Juke Box. Now I know this is a little out of character for me, but I give the 5 Point 5 Martini Glasses out of 5. I hadn’t realized it until just now, but the 5 Point is everything a dive should be.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Dive

The same people that own the 5 Point own the Mecca Café, and it shows. Both have that gritty Film Noir feel that makes you wish you were in a fighting mood. The Mecca however, is not quite as easy to fight in though. This is due to their enormously long bar. In fact, the entire bar stretches about 30’ down and fills about half of the available space. There is just enough room to squeeze by until you find a seat, or stand around and hope no one tries to pass you.

Coming in here, you better not be claustrophobic and you had better be ok with people touching you. They will have no choice. The bartenders have to contend with the same thing, squeezing past each other and getting real friendly when it calls for it. My favorite bartender there is Collette. This is the kind of sexy, sassy, no nonsense kind of bartender who can pour me a drink any day of the week. Kris (another quite excellent bartender/waitress who works there) tells a story about Collette. I guess one day a patron was getting frisky with her and would take the hint. Collette proceeded to douse the guy with water, then climbed up onto the bar and grabbed him by the ear. She then walked down the bar, dragging this helpless idiot with her until she got to the door and pushed him yelling, “You’re out buddy!” How can you not love this woman?

As with the 5 Point, one half of the place is a divvy bar and the other half is a divvy restaurant. I suspect that their food is just as good here as it is over at the 5 point. Up on the wall across from the wait station are a number of coasters in which people have drawn upon (mostly staff) and glued to the wall. Collette was kind enough to allow us to put up our 570bars logo there. We were very excited.

Once again the drinks were strong and I have no idea how much they cost. Thanks again to Scott and Melody for their mighty sponsorship of this bar. I am definitely coming back here one of these days. Maybe I will get in a fight, or maybe I will flirt with Collette. Hard to say, but whatever I do, it will be damn fun. I give it 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Sport’s Bar
Class: Dive

Ozzie’s was the fourth bar of the night and 3rd dive. It was easily the least interesting of all of the places we had been. As a sport’s bar it had the necessary amusements: a couple of pool tables, some darts, pull tabs, and … Karaoke. It was not good Karaoke either, but rather Molly McGuire’s type Karaoke and that is something better avoided. I did manage to avoid having to get up there and sing with Scott (as we did not get called, phew.) I would have done it, but I wouldn’t have been happy about it.

The place is sectioned off into a number of smaller locales. There is a dining area up front (where the Karaoke was playing) a small sitting area by the bar, a long bar that stretched into the distance and a number of smaller side rooms with a table or booth or two. Now in the description this may sound ok, but it lacked the real punch that true dive offers and was not quite up to my exacting standards for a sports bar.

The drinks were nice a strong and priced about right (I assume), but it just didn’t have that zing. A drunken man, Pablo, who claimed to know Spanish, serenaded Clara. He was quickly shot down, strangely not by Clara, but by a Hispanic girl sitting at the counter. She immediately called him on his Spanish and made him look like and idiot. OK, so he didn’t need any help along, but it was funny never the less.

We got this shot that was horribly curdled and completely undrinkable. Melody told us later that it was not actually the bartender’s fault as he asked her to confirm a type of liquor (which was the wrong type) and she confirmed that is was the right type. Thus the drinks failure was not Ozzie’s fault at all.

I have this strange note about “There we were on the Serengeti …” I just wish I had some idea as to what it refers to. Maybe Clara or Jason can clue me in. Nevertheless it is kind of funny to read.

Ozzie’s was OK but with the Mecca Café just a block away don’t waste your time. I have eaten there and it was not bad, but really maximize your bar time. I give Ozzie’s 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Nightspot
Class: Miscalled

Manray is a Gay Bar and a damn nice one at that. You can tell this, not so much by the effeminate well toned bar tender wearing the San Francisco Life Guard T-Shirt, but by the high quality of the décor. The entire place is a pure crisp white, with great style and amazing flair. The center of the bar is filled with an oval bar topped with TV screens and interesting white panels. The walls are raised white panels with shifting colored lights behind them. A video wall fills the back and banks of monitors fill the empty corners. A place this nice could not possible have been created for straight people.

I felt vaguely uncomfortable coming in here, not because I don’t like gay men (some of my best friends are gay :) it is just that I tend to get hit on and it only reminds me that I am single and heterosexual. If Manray were not a premier gay meat market I would probably come back here more often. The drinks are $5 but that is for a double (and a sizeable double it is.) They play excellent music (we heard some techno remixes, some 80s, and it was all good.) They even have a good-looking crowd. If they were good looking women, then I would be much happier.

Oh, my favorite indication of the Manray’s meat market status was the cup full of paper scraps and pens right by the register. When you are buying someone a drink it is good to have somewhere to put your phone number.

One of our conversations while there was about the Macromedia product Dreamweaver. It is a good product and Clara is offering to teach me how to use it. Jason then pipes up, “I believe it will get him through the night.” It sometimes amazes me at his grasp of pop culture and his ability to draw upon it at a whim.

I give Manray 4 Martini Glasses out of 5, 5 if you are gay and in the market to get laid.

-wOOt

Type: Sports Bar
Class: Midscale

Gameworks is the topshelf of entertainment venues. They have it all: Tons of video game (both spankin' new and golden oldies), ticket amusements, Dance Dance Revoloution, a bar, a restaurant, and lots of other things. The decor is one part technological and one part industrial. The bar looks nice enough and it can be a fun night out.

Now despite all of these good things, the drinks just plain sucked. I tried my drink and stated that it was quite strong. Unfortunately, it was really strong on the tonic. I would have been more unhappy if we were not paying happy hour prices (thanks to our lovely waitress for offering to ring up after 3:00.)

Gameworks is in all things expensive. If you go on ladies night (when girls play free) or on one of their $20 all you can play nights then it is highly worth it. If not, well then I would give it a pass. Of course if you have lots of disposable income and a taste for DDR, then this is your place. Just make sure that you pre-funk before you get here.

I give Game Works 3 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

We were meeting Jeff and Kristin for brunch at the Blue Star, and then my friends Ryan and Stephen were joining us as well, we discovered once we had arrived.

The Blue Star is a nice restaurant, reputed to have excellent eggs, and indeed my breakfast revealed to me that their egg dishes are great. However, that's not what the quest is about.

The place is pretty big, with some bar seating that we were obliged to take, becuase it was pretty crowded, and cause we were all over 21 so that we could get the seats.

I was somewhat hesitant to drink, after my party the night before, and I observed that Brandon was also a bit reluctant. Still, once the food came, we managed to work our way through the drinks.

I had been told by Ryan to not get the cranberry at the Blue Star, but had forgotten, and we had our drinks before he arrived. It wasn't as bad as he had made it sound, but the drinks are not the reason to go there. It was all about the food, but more about the company. With hundred dollar basketball bets and broken fingers it was a fun time.

However, the drink was nothing much at all.

Jeff Ketchel once again proves he's a fine gentleman by picking up not just the drinks, but breakfast. I can't speak highly enough of his excellent qualities, so I won't even try.

We visited the Benbow way back on April 26. Only a month and a half ago, and I thought I'd get a chance to go back. I really wanted to take Vince there, to see the piratical goodness of the place.

Sadly, that won't be possible. The bar closed on June 1st, after three quarters of a century of operation.

I was only there once, but never being able to go back is kind of sad even to me. I can imagine how depressing this is to people who've been going there years, or their whole drinking lives.

Bar Number 75, we hardly knew you...

Type: Restaurant
Class: Miscalled

Café Septieme, located on Broadway is pretentious and knows it. They are primarily a coffee house and food emporium. While they have a bar that you can drink at, I pretty much recommend against it. The décor is browns and pretentious art hangs on the walls. I find that pretentiousness helps we write (for some strange reason) and love to go there for an overpriced mocha and a cigarette or 3. Strangely, they use white paper for table clothes (at least in the café area) and that always strikes me as odd.

The bar staff is aloof, but what else can you expect. I will say that the pour is good and they are using 2nd or 3rd tier booze. This does not, however, lead you to wanting to have many drinks here. The place just lacks that certain something that makes for a good bar.

In stark contrast to the otherwise preppy clientele, there was also this old guy who wanted to talk to me about Milwaukee (I was wearing my county jail shirt) and a pregnant skater chick. We told Monica about our quest and she kindly listened to it, but otherwise was unimpressed.

Big ups to Clara for her sponsorship of this bar and we hope she continues to fund our glorious quest.

I give Café Septieme 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midclass

Julia’s is the upscale replacement for Ileen’s. Where Ileen’s was a dyke dive, Julia’s is an upscale establishment with heavy gay overtones. This was most evident in the large gilded pictures of Liza Manelli on the wall. The waitress said that the art rotates monthly, but I suspect that they will continue in their iconography. The restaurant itself is done up in dark wood with red touches. On our table is an interesting votive holder that does not light. We eventually have to pillage one from another table in order to have two lit votives.

The service was painfully slow. We were seated quickly enough, but by the time the waitress came to take our order I was parched and desperate for liquid. Of course if she had spent less time talking with her friend at the bar, she may have noticed that we were four people in need of drinks.

The drinks were expensive but not crap (about $4.50 as I recall.) We did not look at a food menu although it would have been nice to pass the time. Julia’s most interesting feature are these two lifelike (from a distance) dolls by the door. They are quite creepy and dressed in dresses or Moulin Rouge gear (hard to tell.)

So the place looked nice, the drinks were expensive, and the service was slow. I give Julia’s 2 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

Charlie’s bar area in the back is much seedier than the restaurant up front would lead you to believe. Strangely, we did not actually sit back there this night as it was full up. I have been back there many a day and can describe with ease.

The bar area has two pool tables, free popcorn, classic tabletop video games, a cramped bar, a number of tables and booths, and cheap but questionable bar food. The back area is heavily darkened from smoke and age. It is dimly lit, but that is fine for the patrons, as you don’t really need to see whom you are bumping into.

We sat up front in one of the big booths. We ordered nachos, which were decent. They have nothing on the Sunset Nachos but then again, no place in Seattle can even dream about touching the nachos at the Sunset Grill and Tap in Boston.

Charlie’s is done up in dark wood and has an older feel to it. The chairs are nicely upholstered, there are hanging chandeliers and the food is excellent. The booths are comfy as well. Oh and a word of advice. If four people order nachos and you are in the middle of a story. Pause the story, eating your fill, and then resume the story after the mad dash for chips and cheese has ended.

I like Charlie’s. It is a nice comfortable place and the crowd is usually fairly young. I wouldn’t expect to get many pickups here as this group outing, but who knows. I give Charlie’s 4 Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Dive

The Seven Seas is a Chinese food restaurant at the top of Lake City Way. There is plenty of parking and the drinks are really strong. Wow. Past that there is a not a lot to say. I could mention the Pu Pu Platter (sampler) out of box. Or I could mention the constant crackling from the air conditioning unit that was dripping water on itself. I suppose I should mention the loud burly guys who were there when we arrived.
But really, it is a crappy dive with strong drinks for $3. What more do you need to know?

I guess if you are a sports fan, the fact that they also have a large screen TV and a couple of other screens would be a draw. But past that, well …

I give the Seven Seas 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

We (Jason, Brandon, Clarkie, Sean, Clara)had met up with Melody, bartender at Claudio's (#98) and her husband Scott and after a couple of warmup drinks, we had made our way to the 5 Point for what promised to be a debauched night. We were supposed to meet up with Ole, a bartender from the 5 Point, and then move on to other bars.

The 5 Point is a bit of a dive. Or really, it's a lot of a dive. The sort of place you can retreat to in the later part of your drinking night to get a mess of greasy food and one last drink. There's a restaurant portion, and a bar portion, but there's not too much difference between them at night at least. A little more light on the restaurant side, a little more noise on the bar side, but pretty much the same place. The clientele lean towards tattoos, dyed hair and various subcultures, all of which is pretty cool, and the staff are similar.

We had drinks that were pretty strong, and considering we had already had a couple, I was starting to feel the beginning of a good night. Fries were also ordered, and the 5 Point provides a superb example of the alcohol absorbant batch of fries, which is a must for a night of hard drinking.

We saw the line of nekkid polaroids.

We used the open urinal.

Sean ran into someone he knew (when doesn't he?)

Eventually Ole arrived with his friend Mike (and I may have the wrong name entirely...I'm not the note keeping guy) and after they had a quick drink, we were joined by Ole's girlfriend (again, perhaps wrong, this is what I was told/heard later) Chris, and the ten of us departed for the Mecca Cafe, having had a grand time.

This is the narrowest bar ever.

Really.

It's just the bar, with a row of attached stools, and just enough space behind them to squeeze by. And it's a long bar. In the back, there's three little tables, in the space after the end of the bar. In the front, there's a single pinball machine, and if someone's playing, it's tough to fit into the bar itself.

Across the wall, in the restaurant half, it's almost as narrow.

Pretty much, it's a very deep, not wide at all place. And it's the sister bar of the 5 Point, with much the same look and feel, with a couple of exception, the narrowness being the first.

The second was that there were little cups of colored pens and blank coasters to draw on, which we all did, while we drank our drinks and sang along with Nickelback.

There was conversation, and Ole seemed very pleasant, but really, I was kind of drunk and was going to get drunker, so I don't recall much of it. I do know I left behind an Evil Purple Bear on a coaster, so beware.

Melody and Scott once again picked up the bar, which was very cool of them, and we were all having a truly great time by the time we left, sans Chris, to wander around the corner to Ozzie's.

(jason's note--I've since been told that Ole picked up the bar, so my bad. but it was all up at the bar, and I didn't see it. so thanks to Ole for the sponsorship, and credit where credit is due.)

I was told (by Ole? by Scott?) that Ozzie's was once a lot smaller but kind of exploded into a lot of new space. It looked it. The place was huge, but every section of it seemed like a different bar. It was oddly like being in a Nevada casino. There were bars, and tables, and pulltabs, and karaoke, and lord only knows what else, all thrown together with half walls seperating them, or railings, or any number of things. The whole place just seemed like someone said, Well, what are we going to put here? And then put it all here, someplace.

That said, I was pretty slaughtered by then, so I might have a wrong opinion. And the drinks continued to flow: a round of drinks, a round of shooters that were accidentally made with Cran (cranberry juice) instead of Crown (Crown Royale) and were thus much nastier than intended, and then a further, last call kind of round, which I ended up drinking much of in order to not have our drivers drinking.

We spent probably almost an hour at Ozzie's, and had a great time, I think. There was conversation, and various groups of us talked about various things all of which are unclear to me at present. Eventually, the painful sounds of karaoke faded away, and we realized it was pretty much last call and it was time to head home. Melody and Scott had, again, picked up the bar, and thus shown their greatness.

We thanked Scott and Melody profusely, cause they deserve all the thanks we could give and then some bonus thanks from other people. While it was a slow round of bars, 3 in 3 1/2 hours, it was pretty much the most fun we've had, and we've had some fun nights.

All that, and two hours more hanging with our neighbors, and I still made it to work on time, no problem, the next morning. This is like some kind of weird training regimen.

We were on Cap Hill with Clarkie and Clara, meeting Danielle for a drink, and later going to a party, and we thought we'd pick up a bar in between. We were already at the Cha Cha with Danielle, so we thought Kincora, right up the block, but we ended up in Manray, cause it was pretty empty, which meant Brandon didn't have to deal with it being all gay and shit.

Manray is a really stylish place. When it opened, it got a write up in Wallpaper*, which is about as styling a mag as there was at the time, and all international and shit to boot. To mention some little Seattle bar was quite a coup for said bar.

It's unlike most bars. In that, the place is all white, all video screens with bright videos, all pretty well lit. The whole idea of Manray is that you can see what you're getting, as opposed to every other bar, where the idea is to make your possible future ex as mysterious and appealing as can be.

None of that in Manray. If you lack the goods, everyone will know, unless they've had about 3 of the bar's drinks.

Those drinks should be mentioned--they're double sized, pretty much three drinks in strength, and all for 5 dollars. I wasn't complaining.

The music is good, dance stuff that no one would dance to in Manray cause it's a stand around and pose place, not a dance club. And the lighting is interesting, changing colors in a way that, like Waterfront, I didn't notice until long after I should have.

Good strong drinks. Unfortunately, I'm not even close to pretty enough to drink there.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

The Broadway Grill is an exceptionally nice place on Broadway that mixes the chic with the pragmatic. It manages to be nice without feeling snooty (like Café Septieme.) Up front there is a huge open cooking area where you can watch the chefs at work. I do find it odd that the smoking area is up front as well (as I recall) but maybe the smoke does not waft all the back to the food. The bar is around the corner and is staffed by a lovely bartender whose name I wrote down and now have completely lost. She was quite lovely though. I think I have picture somewhere around here as well.

The drinks were excellent and priced reasonably (for Capitol Hill.) The food here is excellent and their specialty drinks are all very tasty. The motif is modern and yellow. There are interesting hanging fountains on the walls and they give you plastic monkeys with your specialty drinks.

Our bartender told us that they usually get a pretty good crowd and with all of the seating they have in the back it is a good place for big groups. They are all free standing tables which can be pushed together. As I recall there are a number of monitors showing various things sprinkled around the back bar area but it is all a little hazy or me right now.

We talked with the bartender about what type of crowd she got and a couple of other interesting topics (like her upcoming wedding.) I guess that she really prefers her gay clientele to her straight clientele. She explains that they are better behaved (at least towards the staff).

The Broadway Grill is a good place to go and tie on a few either before or after your actual drinking. For hanging it is a pretty good place, but you wouldn’t really want to spend the whole night there. I give them 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Average

As you might imagine, Angel Thai is really just a Thai food restaurant with a bar. Their Satay is excellent and their bar is fine. The only reason I have anything to say is that they had trivial pursuit boxes at the counter. These two boxes kept us quite entertained for the length of our visit (maybe 15 or 20 minutes.) They are the original Genus edition and look like they have some wear and tear on them.

The bar area is really just a waiting area for the restaurant. It is poorly decorated in pastels with the slightest of Asia touches. There is not a lot to say about this place. The drinks are reasonably priced and poured with a good strength. The stools spin and if you are waiting for some take out, you mind as well stay for a drink.

As such I give Angel Thai 2 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Type: Restaurant
Class: Midscale

The Bleu Bistro recently replaced Hippy Trail Coffee (Habitrail Coffee) and is a fine addition to Broadway. The Hippy Trail was an eclectic space that attracted Granolas and Ave Rats for fat free soy coffee with half foam and a Carob topping. The space is interesting with lots of little nooks and crannies. The Bleu Bistro has taken this space and up scaled it quite a bit. This naturally ensures that the clientele will be better dressed and smelling good.

The décor is a mixture of the old and the strange. There is lots of colored lighting, strange hanging decorations, and classic furnishings. For example, by our table there is a small wall mounted filing cabinet with old files still in it. In the unisex bathroom there is a huge wardrobe and Ansel Adams prints (very nice.) Next to one table there is a lamp with fake fire (nylon and a fan). Numerous strange prints and bizarre touches line this space.

The menu is exceptionally interesting with all sorts of classic drinks (like a Hot Toddy) and new favorites. The prices are a bit on the expensive side, but the pour is good and drinks taste excellent. The staff is aloof, but I would expect nothing less.

I give the Bleu Bistro 3 and a half Martini Glasses out of 5.

-wOOt

Does this place have a specific name? I have no idea, and I didn't see one. Pluse, they're not listed on our master list, although it's obviously a seperate bar within the establishment.

As bars go, this one could be thought of as the very best equipped ever. It's got pool and darts, a full restaurant, skee ball and all the video games anyone could want. What with it being in Gameworks and all.

But that's not important. We were there during happy hour, thanks to the very nice Amy, but who could care? The drinks were weak, weak, weak. Which is what I would expect, but my expectations have been so wrong so often that I thought Gameworks might have a good drink.

They didn't.

I suppose it might be a good place to go for a drink after a few rounds of Dance Dance Revolution, but other than that, skip it.

Clara, Clarkie, Brandon and I are going to three bars, that's the plan. The Blue Bistro is really, really full, so we end up at Cafe Septieme, where the slightly cautious bartender Monica tells us they're about to close. That's fine, we only need a drink, singular. Sadly, Clara has forgotten her ID, so she just has a lemonade.

The place is nice looking. I like it. However, it's not outstanding, and neither are the drinks. They're fine, and before I started this quest, I'd probably have liked them very well. But now I know too much.

So Cafe Septieme places just in the midst of the pack, nothing remarkable. And after a brief trip for ID, we hit more bars.

I have it down that Clara picked up Septieme. Yet another sponsorship. This woman is really, really moving up fast in my list of favorite people.

Julia's is new, open where once Ileen's stood. It's a nice place, lots of wood, candles that are burned down a bit too low, good music, a classy feel to the place.

Sadly, that's the high point of the visit. The waitstaff, after seating us, all go over and stand by their register, all five of them, and just talk and hang our for about four minutes before any of them can be bothered to break away to take our order. The drinks were fine, I can't complain about them. They were even pretty big. But they were spendy, and the service sucked, so I won't talk any more about Julia's.

Charlie's is a great old standby on Broadway. I used to go there fairly regularly a couple, three years ago, and the place is unchanged. Which is pretty good.

We had to sit in the restaurant area, cause there was no bar room, but our drinks were brought with better speed than at Julia's anyway, which is not funny ha-ha, but funny all the same. They were, as usual with Charlie's, a decent drink worth the price. The nachos are a big plate, great for a few people to soak up the alcohol with, and that's what we used them for.

Charlie's is an old tyme kind of bar, with lots of wood and stained glass fixtures, even if the furniture doesn't quite match and the place is almost always more crowded than it's worth. The bar is in the back, a thing that I greatly enjoy, and is full of all sorts of weird nook-like tables. Very often, a table meant for four will have six, that's the sort of crowd I'm speaking of.

I like Charlie's. It's a great place to stop in. You should, if you haven't, but of course, you have.

Another lonely Chinese restaurant bar, but this one was scary. At least, for a moment. There was only one other table occupied when Brandon, Clarkie and I arrived, and it was filled with drunken tattooed guy who looked as if they had stumbled in from the trailer park that is literally next door. Perhaps they had, because a moment after we arrived, they stumbled back out. Which was good, cause I was pretty much okay with the Seven Seas once they left.

The decor was 50's celebrity. Marilyn Monroe, James Dean, all your bombshell babes and cool guys were scattered around the place. It was kind of nice. The drinks were poured with a very liberal hand, and they were good enough to serve in Greenwood, which is saying a lot. The food was okay, but we were there to drink before going to a party, and that's what we did.

The bartender works all alone in the back, while the front was totally lonely and depressed. But the bartender has to go up there to ring a card, and it's kind of weird realizing you're the only people (but for one at the bar) in the place, and there's no "authority" figure there. Almost, but not quite, makes one want to bolt.

However, Clarkie got the check, so no need for that. And that's another sponsorship for the new roomie.

Type: Lounge
Class: Average

The Corner Bar is actually the lounge for some restaurant although you would never know it. Placed prominently next to the Moore Theatre I suspect that they have a good theatre crowd, but otherwise I would avoid it. The Corner Bar thinks very highly of itself. There is a large U shaped bar in the center, some tables off to one side and a couple of couches scattered about the back. They occasionally have DJs that come and play here which simply adds to own sense of self worth.

The drinks were weak and overpriced (at least $4.50.) The bartender had better things to do than serve us our crappy drinks. The art on the wall was interesting but pretentious. Other than the art and the aging couches there is little in here that can be called engaging. If you are looking for quick place to get a drink before seeing a show, this is your place. If you are looking for a good time, skip it.

Jason and I did not bother giving a card, but I do think I left one on the counter. The bartender probably thought I was trying to pick her up with it, not that I spoke more than 3 words to her (Gin and Tonic.) I bet she thinks everyone wants her.

I give the Corner Bar 1 and a half Martini Glasses cause it was better than Vons.

-wOOt

I've eaten at the Broadway Grill several times, without having the least idea how big a place it was. I've always ended up seated right up front, and never gone looking. Now, after visiting the bar area, I'm kind of surprised. It's a big place. The bar itself is long, while the cocktail lounge is rather big, and filled with glowing glass sculpture.

Our bartender, Cindy, was much interested in the quest, which is as it should be, although she seemed to think that by the time you're thirty, getting totally settled isn't such a bad thing, and not going out for 9 months at a time, for instance, is not a problem. I tend to disagree, but then, that's obvious. I'm the one on the quest.

So Brandon, Clarkie, Sean and myself meet up with Clara here, and we all have drinks that are pretty good, and the well prices aren't at all bad. Cindy tells us they get a good crowd most nights, and she's been working at the bar for 2 1/2 years, so she would know. We meet another bartender, this one working at the Capitol Club, and make plans to visit there on Thursday next week. Which may or may not actually happen.

I had a pretty good time, and the place is good to bring a group to, which makes it much better than the nearby but inferior Julia's, not even counting the pretty large difference in drink pricing or in service. Definitely worth a return visit.

It's technically a bar, in that there are bottles on one side and stools on the other, but I think it's the most tentative bar assessment I'll give for a while. There's normal restaurant tables right behind us, and while there is a bartender, I'm not certain if that's all he does.

And anyway, it's only 20 minutes til they close, so we don't have much time.

Enough time for just a single order, the bartender tells us, but that's fine, cause it's all we're there for.

We get our drinks, play with the conviniently provided Trivial Pursuit cards, and pay for the rather low cost alcohol before moving on, just as they're closing up.

Nothing special, although I like their food a lot.

We tried to hit this place last week, but failing, we have returned after Angel Thai, and have succeeded. The place is a little maze of nooks and crannies, each with their table and benches or chairs. It's weird--every spot is at once almost totally private, and yet completely open to something--another table, the hallway, whatever. But still, such tiny quarters promote a feeling of intimacy, even if it's totally misplaced.

The decor is odd. It's dim in most parts of the bar, and there are paintings of classic actors, who also feature prominently in the large drink menus. There's hanging grass skirt-like things all about, and nothing in the place seems to match. Our table has such large legs, relative to the seating, that getting to the far end is very difficult for most of our party, still the five of us who started at the Broadway Grill. Me, I get an outside seat cause of my bum toe, broken just a night before, if broken it is.

The service is none too quick, but the place is busy. We get drink menus fast enough, but it takes a while for them to come back and take our order, and a while more to get out drinks. I'm having a Hot Toddy, with brandy, and it comes in a massive cup, just brandy and hot water and honey and lemon, and it's great. They serve it with a chocolate covered graham cracker, and it's the sort of drink that can make you feel very special.

I have no idea how strong it was, and with this drink, I don't think that's the point. I also have no idea how strong the other drinks were, although there is a drink mix-up between Brandon and Clarkie, each getting the other's drink. It's quickly fixed, though. I observe no complaints about drinks strength, but for the price, they may have been weak. Bleu Bistro is not a cheap place, that's for sure.

Sean picks up the bill, for another sponsorship.

While we were there, we ran into my friends Aubrey and Sarah, and their friend Mo, which is odd, because I never run into them out at bars unless it's planned. However, they can't get a good seat, so we send them off to the Broadway Grill, where they were already thinking of going, and all is well.

I really liked the Bleu Bistro, for being such a weird place, and for giving me chocolate with my drink, which wasn't necessary but much appreciated.

This is the first bar we've gone to, just the two of us, since the Acorn three weeks earlier, and we're both very tired, cause I've just taken allergy pills for the first time in my life, and Brandon slept very little.

The bartender is very chatty with all sorts of people, all of whom are her friends apparently. And the place is in some fashion attached to the Poor Italian Cafe down the block, perhaps through a massive hallway that seems totally not a part of the Corner Bar, but apparently is all the same. In any case, although we're alone and should be able to talk to the bartender, it doesn't happen, and the bar is not too friendly in any case, and so I throw down some cash and we leave, planning on a second bar, the Nightlite, but we're too damn tired, so that doesn't happen, and it's not a very good night, but I go home anyway.

Oh, and I forgot to mention it, but the drinks were pretty damn weak, which never makes me happy. Even if they were only 4 bucks - kind of cheap for downtown - I still expect more by this point.

Type: Nightspot
Class: Midscale

Latitudes is the “nightclub” in the Rock Salt. It has a bar, a dance floor, a large screen TV, a view of the water, and guys who need to be taught the Lawnmower or the Shopping Cart. It has all of those elements that make a nice place, but it lacks in all of those ways that a chain always seems to. The décor was vaguely southwestern in feel, but only barely. The walls were faux wood paneled, the lighting fixtures have a barbed wire “touch” and in all ways it is sterile and unengaging.

The music they were playing was too loud and of the type that seems danceable, but in reality isn’t. The best part of the Rock Salt was the couple that got up on the dance floor. She was an older Thai woman who had rhythm and some moves and he had a white guy overbite. His dancing was so poor that Jason told me to get up there and teach him the Sprinkler. Anything would have been better than the jerky movements that he called “dancing.” It must be rough when your mail order bride makes you do things that you are not good at. At least he seemed to be having a good time, which is more than could be said us. We enjoyed our own company but with little in the way of available tail (for Jason, Clarkie, Clara, or I) there was no reason to stay. Our waitress was cute but uninteresting. I really am becoming quite a snob about my service people.

I have decided that every bartender should be friendly and outgoing. Every waitress should be sassy and classy. I should feel like a regular, even when I’m not, and I should be convinced that they deserve 20% rather than the 8% I am semi-obligated to give them.

I give the Rock Salt 2 Martini Glasses out of 5 for effort even if it all utterly fails to come together.

-wOOt

Type: Lounge
Class: Midscale

Take everything that the Rock Salt had, subtract out the terrible music, the dance floor, and guy who couldn’t dance, then multiply the quality by about 6 and you McCormick’s. Located about 300 feet from the Rock Salt, on the same water, you will find a place that takes great advantage of its space, hires friendly interesting people, and includes great $2 food specials.

Our primary waitress was nice but seriously overworked. She was at the end of a double shift and it showed. She was still friendly and attentive but the lines of stress were definitely visible. She sat us out on the deck with a great view of the water and St. Mark’s Cathedral. St. Marks look gorgeous from a distance and at night. Up close it is nothing special, but glowing on the hill it stands like a beacon to all of the dispossessed and soon to be intoxicated.

Our drinks were good and reasonable priced ($4) but our main point of contention was the food. Once it arrived, the food was excellent, but the waitresses kept bring 3 plates (the number we ordered) past our table without stopping. Sure there were people further up the deck but each time we started salivating like Pavlov’s dogs only to be left disappointed.

Our second waitress was Allyson. I asked her how she spelled her name because that is my sister’s name. I wonder if that is her spelling or her parent’s spelling. Two LLs is common, but the Y is an interesting touch. I usually don’t think that it works (like in the bizarre spelling of Gennifer Flowers) but she can pull it off. Allyson was sexy and sassy and totally loved our quest. She was so excited when she heard about it that she hugged me. I took that and a couple of other “signals” as a good sign, but I haven’t heard from her, so it was probably all in my imagination. Maybe she is waiting to see if I say nice things about her and her place:)

The actual Harborside Restaurant and Hotel are upstairs but the bar portion is excellent as well. It is a large dark wood bar with lots of stool and uniformed staff. They have wood matches there (which is high cla